Hi Ryan,
Sorry for the delay in someone responding to you...this club has
been really quiet...but it is really for Alanon folks, those who are
friends and family of alcoholics. Of course many alcoholics are also
friends and family of other alcoholics, but I believe it is
suggested that alcoholics go to AA groups first. As that is your
main issue. We do all follow about the same program, but the
sponsorship and sharings of an alcoholic can be most helpful.
Congratulations to you for both quitting drinking and smoking! That
is terrific. I myself am cigarette free for 8 days now...one day at
a time. You are so young, quit now! ....it is allot easier than at
45 trust me:)
I hope you consider giving AA meetings in your area a chance. If
you don't like the first meeting you attend, try another, some are
better than others and find one you like. I am from a family of
alcoholics and one is dead now....but three are sober at least 15
years a piece thanks to God and AA.
You cannot blame your drinking on your girlfriend....just as I
cannot blame my failed attempts at quitting smoking on stresses in my
life. Somehow we have got to learn to deal with stressful times in
our lives without resorting to our fixes:) I don't know what the
answers all are... I am told to thank God daily for having another
smoke free day and to ask him to guide me each day and keep me clean.
And to not get too cocky and think I have beaten anything. People go
back to drinking and smoking years after quitting. For the rest of
my life I will be a nicotene addict even if I never smoke again.
I do know that is is okay to reach out for help from others....call
someone if I am feeling weak and stressed. It is okay to go to
Alanon meetings and pray to God and ask anyone I know for support
when I need it. People so very much want to help you stay
clean....it helps them when they help you. Don't be afraid to reach
out it sounds like you are doing everything on your own and you are
doing a great job..... but together we are always stronger and
better Ryan. We usually get whatever we deserve is one thing I know.
We make our own happiness in our lives. If there is something wrong
with our lives it is usually our own fault. There is nothing wrong
with not making lots of money....what is important is our sanity and
happiness....people come first....and when we are at peace and happy
with ourselves and others then we can worry about money and things.
Money does not make people happy. When you are ready to make more
money you will do so. Right now you are focusing on more important
issues. You can run another time of the day now....my lungs are
already stronger from just 8 days not smoking and I am starting to
run a little. Exercise will help you to feel better about yourself
and there is that nice runner's high lol to replace the bad highs
from the booze and smokes lol. You are a fun person now Ryan, you
can be whatever you want to be. God Bless you and I hope your
girlfriend gets better, don't ever quit trying, because it is only
when we quit trying that we have truly lost.
Big Hug, susie from Florida:)


--- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, rghbog <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> --- In chicagoalanon@yahoogroups.com, "C. Ryan Taylor"
<glide2@a...>
> wrote:
> > Hi everyone,
> > My girlfriend found this site for me after I finally admitted
that
> I
> > needed something to help me get through this patch in my life. I
> have
> > been sober for 7 months now and still counting. I quit drinking
> back
> > in November after seeing a hypno-therapist who had helped me quit
> > smoking cigarettes earlier in the year.
> > I am a 25 year old storyboard artist and a screenwriter living in
> Los
> > Angeles, CA. I seem to deal with rejection on a weekly basis. At
> > least I did until I decided to put the stressful career on hold
and
> > just get a job that would make me happy, one that I wouldn't have
> to
> > take home with me, that wouldn't bring me to such low downs when
> > things weren't going right.
> > I still have a full plate of issues that I'm not sure need to be
> > spelled out right now. Most of which are out of my control but
> still
> > effect my life anyway.
> > I haven't been to a meeting or any other form of group besides
this
> > one since I quit. I'm not sure if meetings would be right for me,
> but
> > I don't know. That has been one of my tuffist obstacles to
> overcome,
> > the "I Don't Know" syndrome that has been seeding in my brain.
The
> > inability to make major decisions.
> > My girlfriend was one of the reasons I drank. She became
diagnosed
> > with a bladder disorder last year that had been effecting her for
a
> > few years and has basicly disablied her to the point where she
has
> no
> > energy, is constantly in pain, has insomnia and constantly
bitching
> > about how bad she feels. She moved out here to California with me
> and
> > her parents helped us buy a house last year. The fear that she
> won't
> > get any better and just get worse consumes me. It did then and
> still
> > does. I sometimes feel like I don't deserve this but...
> > It's that damn "but..." The "I don't know but..."
> > I work a crappy job for minimum wage even though I have a college
> > degree.
> > My life now is like the opening scene in the movie "Permanent
> > Midnight" where Stiller's Jerry Stahl is working at the frozen
fish
> > fast food joint at the end of his stint in rehab and the stoner
kid
> > asks him for some of that really good sauce. "Tarter sauce?"
> > That is a near perfect snapshot of what I go through on a daily
> > basis. Except replace the fish place with a Movie theater and
> > surround me with teenagers and thousands of stoners asking for
> extra
> > butter. Alot of my experiences, past and present, have made their
> way
> > into some of my screenplays. In my latest script, I equated my
> > alcohol addiction to vampirism. it's an interesting read, needs a
> bit
> > of work.
> > I have replaced drinking and smoking with chocolate and Kool-aid.
> > Sometimes soda. So of course I have put on a few pounds. I wanted
> to
> > start running in the mornings, but then I started working nights
so
> > mornings are out.
> > I have a ton of stories and experiences if anyone is interested.
I
> > figured I'd do as my girlfriend asked and post to the site. I
> didn't
> > mean for this to be so long, so thank you for reading all of
this.
> I
> > used to be a fun person. I think I can be again.
> > Ryan