Hi.....I cried when I read the letter from flamingo.....the only difference is
that I divorced the abusive husband after 20 years....but still struggle with
the pain I suffered during those years......now I am dealing with an alcoholic
son who has no desire to quit......and another son who is in rewcovery for drugs
and alcohol......I blame myself fortheir addictions because I stayed for so
long....I am going to my first al-anon meeting the first Tuesday in April....and
am very nervous.....He destroyed my self esteme and all confidence I had......It
has been17 years and I am still crippled emotionaly......I pray that al-anon can
help me......but flamingo I am going to give you my email address feel free to
use it any time......I would love to hear from
you.....Dixi29706@... care!!

flaminjo <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:I'd love to hear from anyone who's
had, or heard of the similar
struggle I'm going through with my husband.

Although I've never seen him falling down drunk in the 7yrs we've
been together, I've always been concerned as to the amount he does
drink. Last year I called an Al-Anon helpline to talk to someone to
find out if I really had a need to worry or not. I found that I had.

I'm dealing with it better for the moment, but my real problem is
his addiction to chat rooms & chatting up women on the mobile. It's
devastated me to find him trying to go as far as he can with them.
He did stop doing in front of me for while. Cutting down on his
drinking does not help with this, nor his obnoxious attitude toward
me. (Snores a little less though. LOL)

Before Xmas he ran up a £200.00 mobile bill - talking to 'new
mates', 1 no. in particular dominated the bill. Xmas Eve I
discovered an 'old mate' was a woman he met in the chat rooms. He
said we could no longer stay together. A month later I found he'd
been sneaking out @ night to meet her & taking time off work. Her
continuous calls, texts & chatting on the net to him were extremely
intrusive. He continued to run up more horendous bills till I
confiscated the phone & his credit card - which are both in MY name.

I told him I wanted him to leave, & despite his constant threats
that he's leaving, he won't go. He said he "wanted to get things
back on track". I'm having a hard time dealing with the alien he's
become. Till a few months ago, I was still madly in love with him.
Now I'm so hurt & humiliated.

Al Anon meetings are my life saver. At the moment I could'nt cope
without them. I've gained so much strength, & learning to be
happy. I'm meeting wonderful people. I'm learning about the
illness & how to deal with it. I've got some hope from the chaos
in.

Learning about detatchment's helped enormously. I don't get so
wound up now, but this unacceptable behaviour is damaging & I don't
know yet how else to deal with it. Let go & let God is another
saying that helps me. Reading Al Anon literature is also a big
help.


Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
chicagoalanon-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com



Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.





---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Platinum - Watch CBS' NCAA March Madness, live on your desktop!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]