As we all know, there are times when each of us needs/enjoys to be
alone, and other times when we feel a need for, and a joy in, the
company of others.

But sometimes we feel isolated even though there are people around
us - missing out on the party of life.

At other times we feel overwhelmed by pressures and demands of the
world outside us - or the world within us.

A Personal Journey
------------------
I have been through quite a few challenges of this sort in the ten
years since I left the safe, structured and social world of working
for a large, easy-going organisation and struck out alone to seek my
personal path and destiny.

There were, and are, many delights in "making the world my oyster" -
uncovering precious pearls of self-determination and personal growth
that I did not know I had in me. Also the joys of new relationships
and exciting dramas - in fact a whole new chapter in my life story.
There can be life after reaching middle age!

However, as we all know, there is no gain without a bit of pain! I
had taken the precaution of getting some useful stress-management
training under my belt, but that was not enough when the really big
waves of challenge began to hit me, setting me back and sometimes
even knocking me off my feet.

"Centre of the Circle" Practice
-------------------------------
To keep moving forward through the difficult times I gradually
developed an approach that I called "Centre of the Circle" Practice.
It seemed like a really new adaptation of my stress-management
training, but in fact had ancient shamanic roots, being soundly based
on the shamanic principles of balance, groundedness, wholeness, inner
wisdom, "life-force" natural energy principles and the "circle of
life".

I discovered that this practice (i.e. structured approach to
transforming a situation and moving forward) can be applied to a
quite wide range of situations, especially when...

** WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE NEED/WANT
(lost, confused, feeling "messed up" or overwhelmed)

** WE KNOW WHAT WE NEED/WANT, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK!
(stuck, bored, exasperated)

** WE KNOW WHAT WE NEED/WANT, BUT CAN'T GET IT!
(frustrated, needy, desperate)

** WE FACE DIFFICULT CHOICES

** WE FEEL LISTLESS - "OUT OF SORTS"
(listless = lacking energy/vitality, dull, bored, without emotion
or interest)

** THERE IS (TOO) MUCH TO DO, BUT WE CAN'T GET STARTED

** WE ARE SUFFERING EXCESSIVE PRESSURES OR DEMANDS

I have visited these experiences rather more times than I like to
recall in my almost 6 decades of this life! - but in recent years
have at last gained useful insight into the roots of these
experiences and, more importantly, the pathway out of them - the path
back into vibrant, meaningful and nourishing living.


The Circle (Sphere of influence) of Our Life
--------------------------------------------
I started off calling this path (i.e. practical approach to
liberation from the troublesome situations listed above) "Centre of
the Circle" Practice but this title evolved into "Centre of the
Sphere"...

"Centre of the Circle" had the merit of linking my modern approach
with similar ancient shamanic healing practices which are thousands
of years old, and are widespread in indigenous cultures which have
not lost touch with the basic natural rhythms and connections of
life - natural rhythms and connections that can powerfully "sustain
wellbeing" and "guide our path" despite the ups and downs and
occasional severe trials that the universe throws at us.

However, as my work on this continued, I realised that our inner and
outer worlds are actually an array (circle) of circles, so the name
of this "Self-rescue" package evolved into "Centre of the Sphere"
Practice which extended its capabilities while still keeping the
concept, and the associated practical exercises, very simple.

I have now set up a workshop to share this "Centre of the Sphere"
practice with others, so if you are interested and live in or near
Cambridgeshire I hope you will join us at the delightful village hall
in Dry Drayton (set in great countryside!) on July 22nd 2007.
see http://www.sunflower-health.com/workshops.htm for details.

"Centre of the Sphere" is not another form of "work" by the way!
Letting go, relaxing, centering ourselves and (re-)connecting to our
inner strength, wisdom, joy and love of life are at the heart of it.

More about the background to the "Centre of the Sphere" practice
follows...


Alone at a Party
----------------
Have you ever been to a social occasion, or lived or worked in an
environment, where everyone seems very connected to and involved with
each other, EXCEPT YOU?

Have you ever felt "left out"? Excluded? An outsider? A spectator
rather than a player?

For all of us these are occasional experiences, and for some of us
they may be recurrent or persistent experiences in the present phase
of our life.

Homo sapiens is a very social creature and our spiritual nature too
is fundamentally about "connecting", so it is not surprising that
social isolation is very uncomfortable for many of us. In
fact "social isolation" has been and still is, widely used to punish
or even to "break" people.

Faced with the potential or actual discomfort of "being alone at a
party" many of us quickly move into a series of innate or learned
behaviours, or even carefully devised strategies, for "gaining
admittance", "becoming accepted", "joining the club", "ingratiating
ourself" [to ingratiate = to bring into the favour or good graces of
another, especially by deliberate effort].

Sometimes this works, and sometimes it "falls flat on its face" in
terms of one of these unsatisfactory outcomes...

* our "act" or strategy is not supported by others

* we abandon, or lose faith in, our emotional integrity (realism,
truth) and emotional guidance

* we divorce ourselves from the natural flow of Universal energy and
substitute a forced, mind-generated pattern of activity which is
driven by craving or fear.

* our "joining in" strategy only works superficially, or
temporarily, and before long we are revisiting our original state of
unease.

The problem here is basically one of "integrity" (wholeness) and
truth. Denying our real feelings and experience - pushing them aside
or "dumbing them down" to go straight to the (superficial appearance
of the) desired result never really works, it leaves a residual taste
of inner emptiness, inner disconnection and outer falseness. Not only
does this linger with us, but it can be picked up by other people too.


Claustrophobic, Draining, Controlling or Demanding Relationships
----------------------------------------------------------------
The extreme opposite to the "Alone at a Party" experience is where
other people have become in some way oppressive to us and we then
crave some "personal space", "independence" or "alone time". Some
relationships are, without doubt, terribly toxic,
see http://www.sunflower-health.com/resources/soul.htm

Sometimes we avoid connection to others because of our own inner
problems such as shame or low self-esteem...
http://www.stress-counselling.co.uk/sunflower/STRESS/shame.htm

So again we may find ourselves with an EITHER/OR conflict between
wanting to "BE OURSELF" and "WANTING TO BE WITH OTHERS", when
actually we would really like to have - to experience the supreme joy
of! - the best of both worlds i.e. having a full experience of
ourself AND a full interaction with other things and other people.

"Centre of the Sphere" practice is a way of moving towards
the "sacred space" of truth, clarity, essence, understanding, self-
forgiveness, self-compassion and self-support - so often we are our own
cruellest judge and jailor!


Energetic Principles in Isolation & Interconnection
---------------------------------------------------
Physicists tell us that a whole range of everyday phenomena, for
example light and sub-atomic particles, have a paradoxical nature in
that sometimes they behave as if their "real" nature was solid and
made up of isolated particles, yet at other times behave as if they
were a "wave" or vibration - i.e. only "real" in the sense of their
impact on other things.

So it is with us humans, that we partly experience ourselves
as "separate particles" (bodies and consciousness) in the universe
and yet also need to experience ourselves as "real" via our
experience of "personal vibration" or our effects on things and
people around us. Witness the current popularity of "real-ity" shows
on TV, where "maximum personal vibration" is encouraged.

Under great stress, threat or insecurity - for example when we fear
that we might "fall apart", blow apart ("explode") or "be
overwhelmed" by our feelings, some of us will show a tendency to seek
refuge in isolation (separate-particle reality) and some of us will
tend, on the whole to favour refuge/safety in the company of others
(exchanging vibrations).

"Centre of the Sphere" embraces this strange paradoxical of the
universe which is beyond our human mind's capabilities to fully
comprehend. All we can do is learn to accept that in the great
Mystery of the Cosmos, 2 apparent opposites can both be true - we can
at one level be an isolated individual particle (sphere) of dust in
the great scheme of things, yet at the same time we can be, and
indeed are, "at one" with the great scheme of things - this is
sometimes expressed as us being "a ray of the divine vibration" or
having the "divine light" within us - our life and world being
the "Sphere of Influence" of our personal radiance/vibration.


The "Couples Therapy" angle
---------------------------
In mixed sex couples living together come under stress, there can
emerge a dissonant pattern where one (classically, but not
necessarily, the man) comes home from work and wants/needs "personal
space" (separate spheres) in which to "let go" the stresses of the
day, but the other (classically the woman) wants/needs to "talk and
interact" (vibrant flow).

This dissonant (i.e. disharmonious or "jarring") pattern can also
develop within each of us as individuals. Part of our inner world may
want to "flow" (act/do/create) while another part of us may want
to "be still" (rest, restore or just experience life).

Energy can take "solid" (dense, static) or dynamic (moving) forms.
This is another tricky paradox to master when it comes to "finding
our way forward" in any uncomfortable situation. Our personal reality
(sphere of influence) is both a solid structure and a dynamic
phenomenon.

The "Centre of the Sphere" approach is about mastering, harmonising
and synergising (combining the energies of) the energetic arts of
stillness and movement - at both the inner and outer levels of our dramatically
unfolding life story.

Mike
http://www.sunflower-health.com