Recently I was at an event where we each drew an "angelcard" to
provide us with a new inspiration, new insight or new perspective
(basically a new way forward!) on a personal problem or situation we
were currently struggling with.

If you are not familiar with angelcards, by the way, you will find
information here:
http://www.brothermichael.org.uk/resources/angelcards.htm

After drawing angel cards, it is usual to provide, if participants
wish to, an opportunity to "share" what they have received and how it
might relate to the problem on their mind, or how they FEEL about the
card received.

On this occasion I was drawing a card to gain an angelic suggestion
in relation to a relationship issue (a popular topic!).

ADVICE MANTRAS
--------------
As I shared what I had received and the basics of the problem it
related to, I was greeted by a cacophony of what I call "advice
mantras".

Advice mantras are bits of "non-specific, personal favourite, advice
clips", which we all know and have all heard a thousand times, but
the "mantra chanter" gains some kind of personal satisfaction from re-
chanting it, plus the (rather slim!) chance that one day someone
might actually benefit from the mantra and be eternally grateful that
it has been chanted for the 1,001th time!

I don't know about you, but if a piece of advice does not immediately
resonate with me, or worse still is actually quite jarring, I set in
place a personal protocol which evaluates the credibility of the
advice-giver with respect to the topic in question.

Quickly slotting my credibility protocol into place, I ascertained
that all the unrequested-advice-giving experts excitedly chanting
their personal relationship-success mantra to me where folks with
sizable relationship problems of their own, and in one case, actually
no significant partner for some years since his last relationship
traumatically disintegrated.

WHY DO WE DO IT?
----------------
Why do we keep chanting advice mantras that no-one has requested and,
quite possibly, no-one ever benefits from?

One (very painful!) theory is that "The advice we keep trying to give
away is the advice we should take ourselves!"

I really wish that no-one had ever shared this truism with me! I
really hate it, because nearly every time I check on my own "advice
mantra" chanting, I find that I am "spouting" something that very
probably applies to me as much as (if not more than!) to anyone else.

Of course we all need advice at times - sometimes we even request it!

Sometimes, however, we need the advice to be given in a sensitive,
understanding and supportive framework rather than a knee-jerk mantra
chant or "lecture", don't we?

Something which I personally value much more than unsolicited advice,
is "clear feedback".


How would it be, if we were all more mindful this week of WHEN, HOW
AND WHY WE FIND OURSELVES GIVING ADVICE?


FUN POLL
--------
What is your experience of the ADVICE-GIVING/ADVICE-RECEIVING GAME?

I have set up a poll where you can (ANONYMOUSLY!) express your
personal experience over, say, the past week.

To have a shot at the poll and see other people's responses, just
click on "Polls" in the menu panel at the right of this page.

GO FOR A GUT FEELING RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION - _NOT_ "THIS IS HOW I
WOULD LIKE TO BE"!

Best wishes
Mike