I am so sorry that so many are having these experiences.  My recent pain of the last few years have been with emotional infidelity, which was not physical imtimacy (which can be both), but hurts just the same, I have lost trust. 

 

One of my main concerns, when it comes to physical infidelity, is that there is always the possibility of complications other than the act and the emotions involved.  That is possibility of STD's and pregnancy.  My sister contracted herpes (as well as several other acquaintances), other STD's may be curable, but some aren't and then there is the constant reminder of dealing with the condition.  The fact of physical infidelity is that the occurence means that the person is having sex with a person and whoever else they have had sex with.  Am I making sense, this is a snowballing concept.  I lost a freind do to HIV/aids; her husband (a city policeman) had an affair and brought the diease home; he is HIV positive, received and responded to the new treatments; but my friend had a decreased immune system and passed within 2 years of infections and pneumonia leaving behind 5 children, 2 with disabilities.  Her condition is how he was tested and found out to have given it to her.  Meanwhile who knows who else his "affair partner"  has infected; he thought she was a virgin and had also met her on the internet.

 

My friend was raising her grandson, severely disabled because his mother contracted herpes and became pregnant, causing him to have significant problems from in-utero,  He passed at age 20.  Her daughter was 17 and had an affair with a sheriff who failed to tell her that he had herpes, was married, and his wife just had a baby. Is there a pattern here. Snowballing.

 

So, from the outside looking in, think about your physical health and the health of your children.  The emotional pain is not all that may result.  One concept I have passed on to my son, step-son, and others; is the feelings you have for the other person love or obession.  How do you want to be loved and treated?  Don't you and your children deserve respect and safety?  I understand the emotional support that you are being given is valuable, but at what hidden agenda and what is the price?

 

OK, again I'm on my soap box and I will get off now.  Please take care of yourself,

 

Debra M-Mc