Kathy,

I'm Chuck's wife, Jackie, myself a 5 year cancer survivor. Recovery
from Rotator Cuff surgery has kept me away from the group recently.

I hear what you're saying. No matter what form of cancer we've had, the
fear of reccurance rears its ugly head every time we face another health
issue. Although my experience was a bit different from yours, I know
what you're feeling. Test anxiety is something I experience every time
I face any kind of test or diagnosis.

It's good that you got your appointment moved forward. It's much easier
to deal with something when you know what it is you're dealing with. We
are here to listen and support you through this. I don't have a lot of
answers, but I do care.

Hugs,
Jackie

Kitty wrote:
>
> I am in need of any sort of conversation.
>
> I've got myself all worked up over some things. I went to visit a
> friend about 9 or 10 months ago in Texas. Just before I was supposed
> to leave I thought I had a bladder infection. The doctor saw me
> right away and said that I didn't have an infection but needed to
> have follow-up when I got back from my trip. He gave me Detrol to
> help with the constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom.
>
> Well, needless to say I've been on the Detrol from that point on. I
> also bleed everytime my husband and I have relationships. To the
> point that it's all over him, myself and the sheets. When I go to
> the bathroom and sit for any length of time the toilet looks like
> I'm on my monthly.
>
> I don't have any reproductive stuff anymore. Not even a cervix. I've
> had everything gone for over 18 years. I'm supposed to go to texas
> again right after my son graduates. I have finally broke down and
> called and made an appointment but this doctor couldn't take me
> until the 21st of May. Today I called my doctor and he got me into
> another doctor on Friday.
>
> I guess I've been not wanting to face the whole thing again and
> thought it would just go away but I'm feeling as though I've really
> done myself in this time. What am I going to do if they have to take
> everything away from me that a woman is supposed to be? How will my
> husband be able to love me like a woman? He says that he loves me
> and we will get through this. My mind is going crazy.
>
> Anyone have any ideas that will help my mind from leaving me?
>
>
>