Message: 10
Date: Sun, 28 May 2000 16:11:06 EDT
From: mewsmuse@...
Subject: Re: Son's Testicular Cancer Worse Than Dad's


I started writing a response to this e-mail about resentments, but my power
shut down and erased it, so I'll try to write it again.

I do believe that bladder cancer can be caused by being "pissed off" and by
internalized resentments. I started writing a book a few years ago about the
depression which has haunted me all of my life. Now, I have to add the
bladder cancer in with it, because I do feel that there is a connection.
Part of the depression has to do with biological things such as my serotonin
levels and part of it has to do with my emotionally dysfunctional parents. I
learned over the years that I could not change my parents, but that I could
change my mental attitude about the trauma it caused me.

Over the years I searched for why I was depressed. I had extremely high
anxiety levels whenever I even THOUGHT of my parents. This was not normal.
I did not know this at the time, however. By the way, my parents never beat
me or anything like that. They just can't communicate is all. They cannot
look me in the eyes and say "I love you." I say it to them now though, and
that's okay if they can't say it back. I could have had a gene abnormality
in the bladder area (maybe from my father, P53) in which anxieties were
centralized (pissed off). But, bladder cancer is also caused by well known
toxins. I worked in factories for 25 years, 5-7 days a week, 8-12 hours a
day around these chemicals that are known to cause bladder cancer such as azo
dyes and organic solvents. I had more than an average exposure to these
chemicals, and that had to have played a role as well.
Perhaps a person's immune system in degraded by psychological aspects as well
as physical aspects. I think that it is a little bit of all of these things
which made me vulnerable.

Susanne