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Well I am joining this site in desperation. I hsve been battling
bulemia for 7 years now; and some days I feel like it is to late to
save myself. For one, because it have become such a way of living for
me. And two, soemdays I feel it is the only control I have in my life.

When I am not throwing up, I eat extrememly healthy but I always get
the urge to actually eat a real meal. But then it's followed by guilt...

In addition to the bulemia I have become addicted to diet pills and
laxatives. Every day and all day is revolved around my weight and the
way my body looks.

I haven't had any horrible medical problems yet. just that my teeth are
erroded, severe heartburn all the time, irregular menstrual cycles,
depression, fatigue, etc. The killer of it all is that I have NO health
insurance. It's too damn expensive!

I don't know what to do? All I know is that I want to be normal. Does
anyone have advice??????

I read your profile today, I thought I would drop you a line and hope to become
your friend! Check my personal page
http://mageri.zoomshare.com/files/grilfriend.htm

Hi. I am so sorry that your grades are falling and that you feel like
your life is being torn apart. I know exactly how you feel. I have been
there, and it is not fun. I also know that it is aweful to have parents
encouraging the whole thing. I have been there too.
I recommend, if you want to get your life back... seeing a counselor or
someone in therapy who has experience with eating disorders. That is
what i am doing right now.
You will know you got a good therapist if the first thing they do when
you go to see them is they make sure you are ready to begin the long
and difficult process. I just started, and it is hard sometimes. I will
keep you in my thoughts though because I know this is hard.



--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "standardtickettodimsum"
<standardtickettodimsum@...> wrote:
>
> hello. i've been bulimic for one year already. i guess for those who
> really want to cure their bulimia , you guys can visit the doctor.
> really , they'll prescribe you drugs that will slow down the impulse
> and it works.
>
> unfortunately for me , the problem spans beyond drugs. it's other
> issues in my life which is making me turn to food as a comfort zone.
> worse still , my parents encourage this illness. i can't sleep
properly
> and my life is ruined. my grades are fallilng and my life is tearing
> apart. i stopped visiting the doc. cause i didn't want to spend money
> on drugs. there you go , i hate me-self.
>

hello. i've been bulimic for one year already. i guess for those who
really want to cure their bulimia , you guys can visit the doctor.
really , they'll prescribe you drugs that will slow down the impulse
and it works.

unfortunately for me , the problem spans beyond drugs. it's other
issues in my life which is making me turn to food as a comfort zone.
worse still , my parents encourage this illness. i can't sleep properly
and my life is ruined. my grades are fallilng and my life is tearing
apart. i stopped visiting the doc. cause i didn't want to spend money
on drugs. there you go , i hate me-self.

I'm at a loss for words at this point. Ive been bulimic for about 6-7
years. I want to be normal again. I know I have ruined my body, my
teeth, my future. I am 5'4 and weigh 100 lbs. I don't want to gain
more than 5-7 lbs but my metabolsim is ruined. If I eat something as
little as 250 cals a day, I will gain a few lbs. It's terrible. I
guess I don't know where to begin. I am looking for a doctor to speak
with on here, and maybe a dentist because I have ruined my teeth.
They are thin, discolored, and my gums are now receeding...What can
be done with that?

Also, I don't urinate often because when I do drink, I get bloated
form a simple large glass of water. (which I also get when I eat a
small amount of food). I have also been to a doctor for a routine
checkup, and came back with low potassium (which I know is very BAD!!)

Here's the other thing, I know most of you are going to recommend
seeing a counselor... but I grew up in foster care my whole life, and
I'm not one for counseling. I want to get straight to it, and talk to
a doctor, and a dentist, and jsut have some support along the way,
but will not discuss this with my friends (for certain reasons)

--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "Katherine" <cesarpup@...> wrote:
>
> I finally opened up to my boyfriend about my problem. I have 2
kids
> and can not take time to go get better somewhere. I have a
counseling
> session scheduled but I think I will cancel it. Bingind and
purging is
> just how I deal with problems, it makes me better. I would rather
be
> emotionally stable than not, and bulimia is what keeps me there. I
am
> starting to excercise now, maybe that will help, I walked today
with my
> kids and the dog. I have been bulimic for 14 years now, have been
> hospitalized for it, tons of therapy, meds, you name it. I love
food,
> I do not want to get bigger than I already am, and throwing up
feels
> good to me (does that make sense)? Any input/help is appreciated,
this
> is starting to affect my life in a way that I NEVER intended.
> Thanks.
>

I feel the same way. I am sorry you are having to deal with this
because I know what it feels like to deal with this. It makes me feel
like I am in so much control when in reality, I am not. I just
started therapy for it about 4 weeks ago and so far that's all I have
figured out. And the only reason I began therapy is because I noticed
the health issues that were starting to come about. I hope it goes
better for all of us soon.

--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "Katherine" <cesarpup@...> wrote:
>
> I finally opened up to my boyfriend about my problem.  I have 2
kids
> and can not take time to go get better somewhere.  I have a
counseling
> session scheduled but I think I will cancel it.  Bingind and
purging is
> just how I deal with problems, it makes me better.  I would rather
be
> emotionally stable than not, and bulimia is what keeps me there.  I
am
> starting to excercise now, maybe that will help, I walked today
with my
> kids and the dog.  I have been bulimic for 14 years now, have been
> hospitalized for it, tons of therapy, meds, you name it.  I love
food,
> I do not want to get bigger than I already am, and throwing up
feels
> good to me (does that make sense)?  Any input/help is appreciated,
this
> is starting to affect my life in a way that I NEVER intended.
> Thanks.
>


I feel the same way. I am sorry you are having to deal with this
because I know what it feels like to deal with this. It makes me feel
like I am in so much control when in reality, I am not. I just
started therapy for it about 4 weeks ago and so far that's all I have
figured out. And the only reason I began therapy is because I noticed
the health issues that were starting to come about. I hope it goes
better for all of us soon.

--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "kimmyskitties" <kimmyskitties@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi. I was diagnosed with bulimia about 3 weeks ago. I have known for
a
> LONG time now that I have a problem though. I am afraid that I am
> destroying my future, and I don't know how to stop it. It used to
make
> me feel like I had control but now I feel so out of control.

Bulimia is a mind disease, It makes you think you are in control and on
top of the world until Your purging and throwing up several times a
day.
I realized I had a problem, when I was up in the middle of the night
looking for a fast food restaurant with my 3 year old son, I have been
struggling with this for over a year now, I have not even begun to seek
help. I know that the root is much deeper than being extremely skinny
which im not, My lowest weight was 112. The smaller you get the more
control you feel, But you keep thinking, and realize that this is not
reall and this cant last because your destoying your health.
Well, thanks for posting
>

Hi. I was diagnosed with bulimia about 3 weeks ago. I have known for a
LONG time now that I have a problem though. I am afraid that I am
destroying my future, and I don't know how to stop it. It used to make
me feel like I had control but now I feel so out of control.

I finally opened up to my boyfriend about my problem.  I have 2 kids
and can not take time to go get better somewhere.  I have a counseling
session scheduled but I think I will cancel it.  Bingind and purging is
just how I deal with problems, it makes me better.  I would rather be
emotionally stable than not, and bulimia is what keeps me there.  I am
starting to excercise now, maybe that will help, I walked today with my
kids and the dog.  I have been bulimic for 14 years now, have been
hospitalized for it, tons of therapy, meds, you name it.  I love food,
I do not want to get bigger than I already am, and throwing up feels
good to me (does that make sense)?  Any input/help is appreciated, this
is starting to affect my life in a way that I NEVER intended.
Thanks.

In response to your posting... I have to believe that people, that
I, can and will recover from bulimia and anorexia. we, i, have to
learn to control our thoughts and not use this tool as a way to cope
with situations. coping is NOT living... to fully live, we, i, have
to let go of these demons, and realize our worth. i guess that it is
just easier to write and to hear, than to actually believe and do.
-MEG

--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "sophia_r_22" <sophiarios19@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi
>
> I just wanted to say Hi to everybody!It's nice to find somewhere I
> can finally share what I'm going through as like so many other
people
> it's not something I tend to share with my family and friends!
>
> I'm Sophia, 21, from London and have been anorexic for several
years
> now. For the past year I have also gone through periods of bulimia
> aswell, which for me is alot worse than anorexia nervosa! firstly
the
> soreness of my throat after being sick is terrible! is there any
way
> to minimise the pain?! I've also been exercising a hell of alot! I
do
> between 8-11 hours of exercise a day!
>
> I also want to say to everybody in this group that believes they
> are 'in control' you're not. No one can ever be in control of this
> disease whether you think it or not. The reason anybody turns to
this
> disease in the first place is because you're 'not in control'in
one
> aspect of your life or another. Once you start its very hard to
stop,
> and you'll never stop being  bulimic, you just learn to try and
cope.
>
> I'd like to recommend a book based on a true story of a woman who
was
> anorexic & bulimic from the age of 9 called 'WASTED' by Marya
> Hornbacher. I've read many books on the subject but none have ever
> touched me like this. It really is something anybody with a
serious
> eating disorder can relate to and it also makes you think just how
> bad this disease can get because at the end of the day it consumes
> you and every single aspect of your life, and in some cases as in
> this book...your actual life, literally!
>

i am just joinging this group in the hopes of it aiding/promoting to my
stopping the binging and purging that has taken so much from my life. I
am not sure as to how this works, but feel free to contact me, ask
questions, whatever. maybe helping someone else, i can help myself in
the process.
-MEG

Hi, I am so happy that I found you. I suffer from bulimia for 10
years. I stop but I do again. I need to recovery. I leave in a country
where we dont have any groups. I also want to know if this group is a
12 steps groups program based on AA.
And if it exists anothers tools on line, as meetings or chats to help/
Thanks
EVA

Hi, I am so happy that I found you. I suffer from bulimia for 10
years. I stop but I do again. I need to recovery. I leave in a country
where we dont have any groups. I also want to know if this group is a
12 steps groups program based on AA.
And if it exists anothers tools on line, as meetings or chats to help/
Thanks
EVA

Hi

I just wanted to say Hi to everybody!It's nice to find somewhere I
can finally share what I'm going through as like so many other people
it's not something I tend to share with my family and friends!

I'm Sophia, 21, from London and have been anorexic for several years
now. For the past year I have also gone through periods of bulimia
aswell, which for me is alot worse than anorexia nervosa! firstly the
soreness of my throat after being sick is terrible! is there any way
to minimise the pain?! I've also been exercising a hell of alot! I do
between 8-11 hours of exercise a day!

I also want to say to everybody in this group that believes they
are 'in control' you're not. No one can ever be in control of this
disease whether you think it or not. The reason anybody turns to this
disease in the first place is because you're 'not in control'in one
aspect of your life or another. Once you start its very hard to stop,
and you'll never stop being  bulimic, you just learn to try and cope.

I'd like to recommend a book based on a true story of a woman who was
anorexic & bulimic from the age of 9 called 'WASTED' by Marya
Hornbacher. I've read many books on the subject but none have ever
touched me like this. It really is something anybody with a serious
eating disorder can relate to and it also makes you think just how
bad this disease can get because at the end of the day it consumes
you and every single aspect of your life, and in some cases as in
this book...your actual life, literally!

OH my gosh i know exactly what you are talking about right now as I write this i
want to
throw up so bad, I just feel so fat, I threw up last night, twice I feel so out
of control when I
dont throw up at least once a day, I have been dealing with this disease since I
was 21 I am
now 31, I find the only relief I get is when i workout and eat healthy, and go
to my the
kingdom hall of jehovahs witnesses, I am going to start studying again with
someone the
bible, I dont know anymore except that I am sick of it, always worrying about
what not to
eat what to eat, working out, and what kills me is the lying to my husband,
gotta go,
thanks for listening
--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, tenneille middlebrooks <thinnow29@...> wrote:
>
> i didnt throw up at all yesterday and i  am 3 pounds bigger i went to olive
garden
yesterday i went to the bathroom to throw up after and i couldnt it must have
been the
alchol stopping me, i was so upset, i went back and my husband started to
question
>   i had to lie about he couldnt handle it, i feel exactly how you felt, I
never thought about
it that way, that everything  all day is about my weight, i read about ithave
million of
magazine i look it up on the internet i join diet clubs, everybody says i look
skinny
>   so i eat then i throw it up, i am starting to feel im loosing control, i
have to stay at
home so i can eat and get rid of so i cant go anywhere, i have a great fear of
becoming fat
again, well i have to go bye
>
>
>   hi thinnow29,
> first let me start off by saying that this may seem to work, but it
> does NOT!!  Although you may be losing a pound/day, you're also losing
> your health everyday.  You may think that right now you are in control
> of bulimia, but you're not.  I challenge you now, try not to
> binge/purge for one week, and see what happens.  I'm speaking from
> experience.  I've been struggling with bulimia for just over a year,
> and it's eating me.  I've wasted so much time with it-time throwing-
> up, time thinking about not eating/what I can eat, time criticizing
> myself about my weight, and now time seeing doctors, time with my
> psychologist.  The temptation to binge/purge is so great everyday.  It
> seems so easy to just get rid of it all in 5 minutes.  For awhile I
> forgot what my life was like before bulimia, how free it was.  How I
> didn't have to think about how many calories was in what I was eating,
> how I didn't have to wait for the right time to hit the bathroom and
> keep it a secret, how I didn't choose the clothes I wear by how thin
> they make me look not how nice they were.  I forgot what it was like
> enjoy a meal out with my friends/family.  I forgot what it was like to
> go out with friends and not think about whether I'm fatter than them,
> or whether other people are thinking I'm fat.  Although I had these
> feelings before bulimia, bulimia just heightens them.  Okay, well,
> this was sort of a rant for me, and well, right now I'm recovering
> from bulimia and last week I slipped up for the first time in 5
> weeks.  And right now I just want to go throw-up sooo bad!  Anyway,
> please reply to this thinnow29, talk to me, we can help each other.  I
> felt the same way when I first started-like this was great because I
> could eat without worrying and then throw it up and lose weight-but
> it's not like that.  Please believe me.  If not, do try to go without
> binging/purging for a week or two and see if you can.  I'm here for
> you.
>
> --- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "thinnow29" <thinnow29@> wrote:
> >
> > first let me start by saying that this working for me. I use to weigh
> > 183 pounds i had alread lost 40 before I started binging and purging
> > I know its cheating but all my life I havent had control of anything
> > and now i can loose a pound a day it use to take 2 months to loose
> 10
> > pounds, i have been doing this for 2 months now and feel the best i
> > have in a long time. i still have control of it but how do u loose
> > control of how can you not be able to stop
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Health and wellness   Health wellness product   Health and wellness
program
Diet fitness health nutrition wellness   Business health wellness   Womens
health and
wellness
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "bulimics" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  bulimics-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone  calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min
with
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.
>

OH my gosh i know exactly what you are talking about right now as I write this i
want to
throw up so bad, I just feel so fat, I threw up last night, twice I feel so out
of control when I
dont throw up at least once a day, I have been dealing with this disease since I
was 21 I am
now 31, I find the only relief I get is when i workout and eat healthy, and go
to my the
kingdom hall of jehovahs witnesses, I am going to start studying again with
someone the
bible, I dont know anymore except that I am sick of it, always worrying about
what not to
eat what to eat, working out, and what kills me is the lying to my husband,
gotta go,
thanks for listening
--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, tenneille middlebrooks <thinnow29@...> wrote:
>
> i didnt throw up at all yesterday and i  am 3 pounds bigger i went to olive
garden
yesterday i went to the bathroom to throw up after and i couldnt it must have
been the
alchol stopping me, i was so upset, i went back and my husband started to
question
>   i had to lie about he couldnt handle it, i feel exactly how you felt, I
never thought about
it that way, that everything  all day is about my weight, i read about ithave
million of
magazine i look it up on the internet i join diet clubs, everybody says i look
skinny
>   so i eat then i throw it up, i am starting to feel im loosing control, i
have to stay at
home so i can eat and get rid of so i cant go anywhere, i have a great fear of
becoming fat
again, well i have to go bye
>
>
>   hi thinnow29,
> first let me start off by saying that this may seem to work, but it
> does NOT!!  Although you may be losing a pound/day, you're also losing
> your health everyday.  You may think that right now you are in control
> of bulimia, but you're not.  I challenge you now, try not to
> binge/purge for one week, and see what happens.  I'm speaking from
> experience.  I've been struggling with bulimia for just over a year,
> and it's eating me.  I've wasted so much time with it-time throwing-
> up, time thinking about not eating/what I can eat, time criticizing
> myself about my weight, and now time seeing doctors, time with my
> psychologist.  The temptation to binge/purge is so great everyday.  It
> seems so easy to just get rid of it all in 5 minutes.  For awhile I
> forgot what my life was like before bulimia, how free it was.  How I
> didn't have to think about how many calories was in what I was eating,
> how I didn't have to wait for the right time to hit the bathroom and
> keep it a secret, how I didn't choose the clothes I wear by how thin
> they make me look not how nice they were.  I forgot what it was like
> enjoy a meal out with my friends/family.  I forgot what it was like to
> go out with friends and not think about whether I'm fatter than them,
> or whether other people are thinking I'm fat.  Although I had these
> feelings before bulimia, bulimia just heightens them.  Okay, well,
> this was sort of a rant for me, and well, right now I'm recovering
> from bulimia and last week I slipped up for the first time in 5
> weeks.  And right now I just want to go throw-up sooo bad!  Anyway,
> please reply to this thinnow29, talk to me, we can help each other.  I
> felt the same way when I first started-like this was great because I
> could eat without worrying and then throw it up and lose weight-but
> it's not like that.  Please believe me.  If not, do try to go without
> binging/purging for a week or two and see if you can.  I'm here for
> you.
>
> --- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "thinnow29" <thinnow29@> wrote:
> >
> > first let me start by saying that this working for me. I use to weigh
> > 183 pounds i had alread lost 40 before I started binging and purging
> > I know its cheating but all my life I havent had control of anything
> > and now i can loose a pound a day it use to take 2 months to loose
> 10
> > pounds, i have been doing this for 2 months now and feel the best i
> > have in a long time. i still have control of it but how do u loose
> > control of how can you not be able to stop
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Health and wellness   Health wellness product   Health and wellness
program
Diet fitness health nutrition wellness   Business health wellness   Womens
health and
wellness
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "bulimics" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  bulimics-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone  calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min
with
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.
>

i havent been exercising as much any more basically just binging and
purging im 116 now I was 182 pounds My biggest fear is getting fat
again i havent tried to stop i dont want to anymore. i KNOW THAT I CAN
EAT

--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "thinnow29" <thinnow29@...> wrote:
>
> Hey havent posted in a while I have really been mia lately I have lost
> 20 pounds in one month anyone wants to ask me anything just ask let me
> help you I have really been scare about it because Im now excessively
> been exercising im now 115 pounds started at 183
>
How much exercise have you been doing?  Have you been eating al all or just
bingeing and
purging???