well I ended up throwing-up yesterday, and well I felt better after,
but today I feel like crap. I wish I could just stop! I know what
you mean about having to stay home, just so I'm free to get rid of
it after. I got busted with this bulimia by my mom and after seeing
my doctor was sent to a psychologist. It helps to be able to have
someone to see every week that's there to help me. It's going
slowly though, and well, I pretty much suck at it cuz I still can't
talk about it very well. Everytime she asks me to describe what
happened before/during/after a binge/purge, it takes her prompting
me and like 10 minutes before I get it out. I guess I'm just so
ashamed by it, and even though I know she's there to help it's still
tough. okay, I g2g to my aunt's for easter.
Angela


--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, tenneille middlebrooks
<thinnow29@...> wrote:
>
> i didnt throw up at all yesterday and i am 3 pounds bigger i went
to olive garden yesterday i went to the bathroom to throw up after
and i couldnt it must have been the alchol stopping me, i was so
upset, i went back and my husband started to question
> i had to lie about he couldnt handle it, i feel exactly how you
felt, I never thought about it that way, that everything all day is
about my weight, i read about ithave million of magazine i look it
up on the internet i join diet clubs, everybody says i look skinny
> so i eat then i throw it up, i am starting to feel im loosing
control, i have to stay at home so i can eat and get rid of so i
cant go anywhere, i have a great fear of becoming fat again, well i
have to go bye
>
>
> hi thinnow29,
> first let me start off by saying that this may seem to work, but
it
> does NOT!! Although you may be losing a pound/day, you're also
losing
> your health everyday. You may think that right now you are in
control
> of bulimia, but you're not. I challenge you now, try not to
> binge/purge for one week, and see what happens. I'm speaking from
> experience. I've been struggling with bulimia for just over a
year,
> and it's eating me. I've wasted so much time with it-time
throwing-
> up, time thinking about not eating/what I can eat, time
criticizing
> myself about my weight, and now time seeing doctors, time with my
> psychologist. The temptation to binge/purge is so great
everyday. It
> seems so easy to just get rid of it all in 5 minutes. For awhile
I
> forgot what my life was like before bulimia, how free it was. How
I
> didn't have to think about how many calories was in what I was
eating,
> how I didn't have to wait for the right time to hit the bathroom
and
> keep it a secret, how I didn't choose the clothes I wear by how
thin
> they make me look not how nice they were. I forgot what it was
like
> enjoy a meal out with my friends/family. I forgot what it was
like to
> go out with friends and not think about whether I'm fatter than
them,
> or whether other people are thinking I'm fat. Although I had
these
> feelings before bulimia, bulimia just heightens them. Okay, well,
> this was sort of a rant for me, and well, right now I'm recovering
> from bulimia and last week I slipped up for the first time in 5
> weeks. And right now I just want to go throw-up sooo bad!
Anyway,
> please reply to this thinnow29, talk to me, we can help each
other. I
> felt the same way when I first started-like this was great because
I
> could eat without worrying and then throw it up and lose weight-
but
> it's not like that. Please believe me. If not, do try to go
without
> binging/purging for a week or two and see if you can. I'm here
for
> you.
>
> --- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "thinnow29" <thinnow29@> wrote:
> >
> > first let me start by saying that this working for me. I use to
weigh
> > 183 pounds i had alread lost 40 before I started binging and
purging
> > I know its cheating but all my life I havent had control of
anything
> > and now i can loose a pound a day it use to take 2 months to
loose
> 10
> > pounds, i have been doing this for 2 months now and feel the
best i
> > have in a long time. i still have control of it but how do u
loose
> > control of how can you not be able to stop
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
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