OH my gosh i know exactly what you are talking about right now as I write this i
want to
throw up so bad, I just feel so fat, I threw up last night, twice I feel so out
of control when I
dont throw up at least once a day, I have been dealing with this disease since I
was 21 I am
now 31, I find the only relief I get is when i workout and eat healthy, and go
to my the
kingdom hall of jehovahs witnesses, I am going to start studying again with
someone the
bible, I dont know anymore except that I am sick of it, always worrying about
what not to
eat what to eat, working out, and what kills me is the lying to my husband,
gotta go,
thanks for listening
--- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, tenneille middlebrooks <thinnow29@...> wrote:
>
> i didnt throw up at all yesterday and i am 3 pounds bigger i went to olive
garden
yesterday i went to the bathroom to throw up after and i couldnt it must have
been the
alchol stopping me, i was so upset, i went back and my husband started to
question
> i had to lie about he couldnt handle it, i feel exactly how you felt, I
never thought about
it that way, that everything all day is about my weight, i read about ithave
million of
magazine i look it up on the internet i join diet clubs, everybody says i look
skinny
> so i eat then i throw it up, i am starting to feel im loosing control, i
have to stay at
home so i can eat and get rid of so i cant go anywhere, i have a great fear of
becoming fat
again, well i have to go bye
>
>
> hi thinnow29,
> first let me start off by saying that this may seem to work, but it
> does NOT!! Although you may be losing a pound/day, you're also losing
> your health everyday. You may think that right now you are in control
> of bulimia, but you're not. I challenge you now, try not to
> binge/purge for one week, and see what happens. I'm speaking from
> experience. I've been struggling with bulimia for just over a year,
> and it's eating me. I've wasted so much time with it-time throwing-
> up, time thinking about not eating/what I can eat, time criticizing
> myself about my weight, and now time seeing doctors, time with my
> psychologist. The temptation to binge/purge is so great everyday. It
> seems so easy to just get rid of it all in 5 minutes. For awhile I
> forgot what my life was like before bulimia, how free it was. How I
> didn't have to think about how many calories was in what I was eating,
> how I didn't have to wait for the right time to hit the bathroom and
> keep it a secret, how I didn't choose the clothes I wear by how thin
> they make me look not how nice they were. I forgot what it was like
> enjoy a meal out with my friends/family. I forgot what it was like to
> go out with friends and not think about whether I'm fatter than them,
> or whether other people are thinking I'm fat. Although I had these
> feelings before bulimia, bulimia just heightens them. Okay, well,
> this was sort of a rant for me, and well, right now I'm recovering
> from bulimia and last week I slipped up for the first time in 5
> weeks. And right now I just want to go throw-up sooo bad! Anyway,
> please reply to this thinnow29, talk to me, we can help each other. I
> felt the same way when I first started-like this was great because I
> could eat without worrying and then throw it up and lose weight-but
> it's not like that. Please believe me. If not, do try to go without
> binging/purging for a week or two and see if you can. I'm here for
> you.
>
> --- In bulimics@yahoogroups.com, "thinnow29" <thinnow29@> wrote:
> >
> > first let me start by saying that this working for me. I use to weigh
> > 183 pounds i had alread lost 40 before I started binging and purging
> > I know its cheating but all my life I havent had control of anything
> > and now i can loose a pound a day it use to take 2 months to loose
> 10
> > pounds, i have been doing this for 2 months now and feel the best i
> > have in a long time. i still have control of it but how do u loose
> > control of how can you not be able to stop
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
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