Goals Unreachable



I wish to get a good job and make money,

I’ve never kept a job more than a few months & I always just disappoint
everybody.



I aspire to go to school, get a degree, & a good career,

It seems so hopeless & I’ll by no means meet this dream of mine, I completely
fear.



I desire to get married, have kids, & more pets some day,

But I can’t even take care of myself, let alone other people, & I know this will
on no account come my way.



I long to make myself , my attitudes, & my behaviors better,

The harder I try to do things right, the worse & more unstable I seem to become;
nothing I seem to do anymore seems to matter.



With these disorders I have – my emotions uncontrollable, my feelings always in
the way, the dark depression, the guilt, the hurt, & the way I can’t function in
society,

They all make me feel like I should claim mental disability.



These goals I write & want to achieve regardless of what it takes,

Although I feel as if I’m stuck in a huge rut I’ll in no way get out of; a
nightmare of mental disabilities from which I’ll never wake.



I’ve tried so many times throughout the years to make myself better & do the
things that are right and prove that I can do something else besides cry, mope,
be depressed, and shit,

I know with these disorders & my pathetic personality, the harder I try, the
further away I am to ever being able to function normally and make it.



So here are my goals however unreachable despite how hard I try,

So I guess I’ll do what I do best; try to ignore my problems, let my feelings &
emotions overwhelm me, try to avoid this along with the pain, hurt, guilt,
confusion, & sadness even though itdoes not work; light a cigarette, sit, and
cry.



Written By: Misty M. Dixon

Written On: 01/10/2003 12:58a.m.












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