I just joined this group and need help! I am 17 and have never
been "fat" or close to overweight although i have always seen myself as
heavy. I have been dealing with anorexia for the past 5 months. Over
the summer i lost 40 pounds extremely quickly as a result of a tragedy
i was involved with in which my high school soccer team was traveling
to a play-off game when the bus crashed and i saw two of my close
teammates die before my eyes. one of my best friends had her entire arm
reconstructed and another will live the rest of her life without her
arm. the accident definently tiggered depression hence the weight loss,
but three months after the accident i was completely obsessed with
lossing weight. at my lowest point, i was extremely underweight but my
family never ceased to support me throughout this experience. After
being forced to gain weight, i have now gained 20 pounds but suffer
from bulimia because of my fear of gaining weight. i now starve myself
until i have to eat in order from passing out, but when i eat, i binge,
and when i binge, i feel guilty and purge. then the whole cycle starts
over. i feel worthless and want balance in my life. i can't do this the
rest of my life!