In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy
lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" and
Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some
sprinkles."

And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created
a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food".

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed
and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre
into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its £1
double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and Man
replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said "it is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created the National Health Service.
Thought for the day .......... There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with
perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
do with them ............ If you don't send this to five old friends
right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!!!!
> >
> > Oh, those were the days!!!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]