Finally have something button phobia related to post about here!

Lucy Mangan (writing in The Guardian) has written a column about phobias and
mentions buttons. Some of the comments on the article are interesting too.

See:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/nov/07/lucy-mangan-phobias-scared?sh\
owallcomments=true#comment-51

Claire.

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, Claire Stamps <biggles286@...> wrote:

  The only way that I could prevent the spam (as far as I am aware) is
to change the settings of the group so that I check all posts before
they actually go out to the subscribers, but as I can't get online very
often that means that any real posts would be delayed for some time.


Hi Claire (waves)

Is it possible for you to change the settings so that I can check
posts, since I am online every day? Or would that give me too much
power? (Mwah-hah-hah-ha!)

I can delete the spam and will do that anyway. I think new members will
be put off and won't post if they find the group and see it is all spam.

Barbara

Maybe I've been living under a rock for the past year?
But the only new posts in this group have been from spammers.
Has the group moved elsewhere? Shall I ditch yahoo groups for perhaps
a Bebo/Myspace/Facebook triend?
If the group has moved I wish the creator of b_Phobia would announce
it and delete this group. I'm just sick of reading spam in the hope
that some content may be related to the group's subject.

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "Nick" <trackieman@...> wrote:
>
> Anyone here to delete the Spam?
> Has the group gone elsewhere?

My apologies, this is getting silly.
Claire has recently started at medical school and is incredibly busy -
I don't think she has had time to check the group but I should have
done so. I haven't time now but I'll delete some of this lot later
today.

Barbara

Anyone here to delete the Spam?
Has the group gone elsewhere?

Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple computer hates buttons too.

http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB118532502435077009.html?mod=blog

Hello Sarah and welcome to the group :-)

I haven't seen the programme yet but I feel much as you do - disgust
rather than fear. Although what I would do if b*****s could jump or
fly at me might be very different!
Like you, I have hated them since I was little but there was no
explaining to my Mum. I had to wear a school blouse and coats with
them on and deal with it.

Are there certain types of b***** that you find worse than others?
I hate big ones but am happy with metal ones and I 'can' wear a
blouse with very small ones on, although I am not particularly
comfortable doing so. I don't really want to get over it though as I
can't imagine why anyone would 'want' to wear something with big
b*****s on!

Barbara


--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "sarah433439"
<motley_and_sparkle@...> wrote:
>
> Hi
> I've just finished watching the BBC programme about the lady
> suffering with a phobia of the disgusting little plastic things,
> thought I'd have a look if there were any more out there, and came
> across this group!
>
> I remember hating the things from a very young age (I'm 28 now) -
my
> mum always found it funny and would say things like "I'm going to
> find you something with lots of b's on" whilst out shopping. I
always
> figured it's just because I'm weird!
>
> It doesn't affect me in the same way as the lady on the programme -
> it's more of a disgust than a fear. I see them as slimy and dirty -
> just typing this now is making me want to wash my hands. I can't
> touch them - even pictures of them - and if it happens accidentally
I
> feel like I have slime on my fingers and have to wash my hands as
> soon as possible to get rid of the residue (even you lot are
probably
> thinking I'm weird now!)
>
> I'd love to be able to get over this as I know there's a whole
world
> of clothes I'm missing out on.....
>
> Glad to be a part of your group!
>
> Sarah Xx
>

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "Claire Stamps" <biggles286@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello Sarah!
>
> I was amazed the first time I searched for "button phobia" online
to come
> across so many references to it - and I'm lucky, my mother shares
my phobia
> so I always knew that I wasn't the only one.

Aren't you lucky :-)
Or, on the other hand, I passed it on to you like the bad mother I am.
(Hangs head in shame).

>
> I haven't been able to watch Panic Room yet (CSI on the other
channel!) -
> I'm hoping to catch one of the repeats this week.

Repeated tonight at 10pm and also in the early hours of tomorrow
morning. I'll catch one of them, I hope.

Barbara

Hello Sarah!

I was amazed the first time I searched for "button phobia" online to come
across so many references to it - and I'm lucky, my mother shares my phobia
so I always knew that I wasn't the only one.

I haven't been able to watch Panic Room yet (CSI on the other channel!) -
I'm hoping to catch one of the repeats this week.

I don't think your desire to wash your hands is weird at all. Well, it is
weird, but it's a weirdness that I share. I'm certainly more disgusted and
sickened by buttons than frightened of them. If I accidentally touch one
whilst out shopping, I tend to wipe my hand against my trousers to remove
any trace of buttonness...yuck. I do find I can touch them in work (I'm part
of the nursing staff at a hospital) but preferably while wearing gloves.

I would love to know just how many of us there are out there - it does seem
to be a fairly common phobia. Maybe we should lobby to have it added as a
question at the next census! :-)

Claire.


>From: "sarah433439" <motley_and_sparkle@...>
>Reply-To: b_phobia@yahoogroups.com
>Hi
>I've just finished watching the BBC programme about the lady
>suffering with a phobia of the disgusting little plastic things,
>thought I'd have a look if there were any more out there, and came
>across this group!
>
>I remember hating the things from a very young age (I'm 28 now) - my
>mum always found it funny and would say things like "I'm going to
>find you something with lots of b's on" whilst out shopping. I always
>figured it's just because I'm weird!
>
>It doesn't affect me in the same way as the lady on the programme -
>it's more of a disgust than a fear. I see them as slimy and dirty -
>just typing this now is making me want to wash my hands. I can't
>touch them - even pictures of them - and if it happens accidentally I
>feel like I have slime on my fingers and have to wash my hands as
>soon as possible to get rid of the residue (even you lot are probably
>thinking I'm weird now!)
>
>I'd love to be able to get over this as I know there's a whole world
>of clothes I'm missing out on.....
>
>Glad to be a part of your group!
>
>Sarah Xx
>

_________________________________________________________________
Get Hotmail, News, Sport and Entertainment from MSN on your mobile.
http://www.msn.txt4content.com/

Hi
I've just finished watching the BBC programme about the lady
suffering with a phobia of the disgusting little plastic things,
thought I'd have a look if there were any more out there, and came
across this group!

I remember hating the things from a very young age (I'm 28 now) - my
mum always found it funny and would say things like "I'm going to
find you something with lots of b's on" whilst out shopping. I always
figured it's just because I'm weird!

It doesn't affect me in the same way as the lady on the programme -
it's more of a disgust than a fear. I see them as slimy and dirty -
just typing this now is making me want to wash my hands. I can't
touch them - even pictures of them - and if it happens accidentally I
feel like I have slime on my fingers and have to wash my hands as
soon as possible to get rid of the residue (even you lot are probably
thinking I'm weird now!)

I'd love to be able to get over this as I know there's a whole world
of clothes I'm missing out on.....

Glad to be a part of your group!

Sarah Xx

The episode of Panic Room featuring a lady with button phobia is on this
coming Tuesday and is repeated a couple of times during the week. Times are
as follows:

Tue 24 Apr, 21:00 - 22:00
Wed 25 Apr, 00:45 - 01:40
Thu 26 Apr, 19:00 - 20:00

I can only get times for up to a week from now, but judging from previous
episodes, there will also be a repeat:

Sun 29 Apr, 22:00 - 22:55
Mon 23 Apr, 02:25 - 03:20

I imagine it will be shown Friday and Saturday as well, but can't find any
times for this. Any one with a Radio Times able to check?

As far as I can tell, the BBC don't show full programmes via their online
service which is a shame for those here who don't get BBC3.

Let us know what you think if you do manage to catch it!

Claire.

_________________________________________________________________
Get Hotmail, News, Sport and Entertainment from MSN on your mobile.
http://www.msn.txt4content.com/

Tuesday 10 April, BBC3, 9 pm.
The first episode has two women, one terrified of cats, another
scared of frogs. I expect buttons come later - this is the first in a
series of 6 programmes.

Barbara

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "Claire Stamps" <biggles286@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> I've seen a couple of adverts on BBC3 in the last few days for a
show called
> Panic Room which looks like it is going to feature a lady with
button
> phobia. One clip from the advert showed her with an umbrella being
showered
> by buttons - perhaps one to watch from behind the sofa?
>
> There's a bit about it here:
>
http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2007/03_march/2
0/panic_case.shtml
>
> I haven't been able to find any information about when it's
actually going
> to be on - the adverts just say "coming soon" but I imagine it'll
turn up in
> the next few weeks. Hopefully the BBC will make it available online
as well
> as broadcasting it on BBC3 so that everyone on this list can have
access to
> it.
>
> Claire.
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> MSN Hotmail is evolving - check out the new Windows Live Mail
> http://ideas.live.co.uk
>

Hello,

I've seen a couple of adverts on BBC3 in the last few days for a show called
Panic Room which looks like it is going to feature a lady with button
phobia. One clip from the advert showed her with an umbrella being showered
by buttons - perhaps one to watch from behind the sofa?

There's a bit about it here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2007/03_march/20/panic_ca\
se.shtml

I haven't been able to find any information about when it's actually going
to be on - the adverts just say "coming soon" but I imagine it'll turn up in
the next few weeks. Hopefully the BBC will make it available online as well
as broadcasting it on BBC3 so that everyone on this list can have access to
it.

Claire.

_________________________________________________________________
MSN Hotmail is evolving - check out the new Windows Live Mail
http://ideas.live.co.uk

I recently came across an article that might be helpful...it was a
case study on a boy with a phobia of buttons. I read it to my 8 year
old son and he said the boy sounded just like him. Here's the
information on the article:

  J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2002 Nov;41(11):1376-9.

Case study: disgust and a specific phobia of buttons.

Saavedra LM, Silverman WK.

Florida International University, Miami, FL 33199, USA.

We haven't had much success helping our son with his button phobia
(he saw a psychologist for a year) but I figure if we try again with
another doctor I'll share this article with the doctor since it
suggests a different approach. Maybe you could share it with the
headmaster to show it was a legitimate phobia?

Good luck with your situation - I know how difficult it can be!


--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, Janet Stanton <janetstanton@...>
wrote:
>
> My 13 year old son suffers from this phobia. His school head-
teacher dosen't understand any help or advise would be greatfully
received.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Win a BlackBerry device from O2 with Yahoo!. Enter now.
>

Hi Janet

Welcome to the group, although I am sorry you have this problem.
My daughter is button phobic (as am I) but we were very lucky in that
she went to a school with a relaxed uniform policy.
What are the main problems for your son? Is it school uniform and
wearing shirts? Are you in the UK or the US? Or elsewhere?

My first thoughts are that phobias are very genuine. Sufferers do not
want to have the phobia and have the disruption that the phobia causes
in their lives. I'm sorry your son's headmaster doesn't appreciate
this. Forcing a sufferer to confront their phobia can make it worse so
I hope this is not what this headmaster is doing. The possible
consequences could be that your son refuses to go to school or truants.

When my daughter has 'had' to wear a blouse, I have removed the
buttons, sewn up the front and used velcro instead of buttons for the
top opening. This might be a temporary solution for your son, if his
headmaster agreed - if he has to wear a tie, then it would not be
obvious. I think you have to impress on the headmaster that this is a
serious problem and not just your son 'messing about'. Can you get your
doctor to help? Referring your son to a therapist might also be a good
idea. He may be able to talk through his phobia and find ways of
minimising it and coping with it. Best to try and tackle these things
early, I think, than wait until adulthood.

I hope this helps a little. Do let us know how you get on.

Barbara

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, Janet Stanton <janetstanton@...> wrote:
>
> My 13 year old son suffers from this phobia. His school head-teacher
dosen't understand any help or advise would be greatfully received.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Win a BlackBerry device from O2 with Yahoo!. Enter now.
>

Hi there,

I have another great opportunity to raise the profile of the phobia.
Like my last request, this time the Manchester Evening News would like
to write a piece about the phobia, treatment and therapies.

Is there anyone in the Manchester area that would like to share their
fear and experiences with journalist Carmel Thomason?

Kind regards
Colette.

Hi,

My son has had a fear of buttons since he was about 3 yrs old (he's 8
1/2 now). He used to say that they smelled bad, and until recently
couldn't sit close to someone wearing buttons or eat anything if
buttons were in sight. That part about eating around others with
buttons has improved, but he still gets very anxious and feels sick
to his stomach if he is asked to wear a button shirt, even if it is
only for 1/2 hour. He absolutely refused to wear buttons until last
year when we took him to a psychologist, then got better about it,
but has reverted back to getting extremely upset and ill when we try
to get him to wear one.

The problem now is that he's been chosen for a baseball team, but
when he saw the uniform had 2 buttons on it he said 'well then i just
can't be on the team' even though he'd been so eager to make it
before he found out about the buttons on the shirt. I feel awful for
him because I know he was so excited to get selected and now the
buttons upset him so much he won't join.

Any advice on this? I'm wondering if short spurts of wearing the
shirt to get used to it might work, or if I should try to switch the
buttons to snaps, or just sew the button holes closed and sew up that
part. It's so hard, and I hate to see him drop out of something he's
good at. Plus, part of me was hoping if he wore buttons during
something he really enjoyed, then maybe he'd start to not mind them.

thanks for any help you can suggest!

Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

Hi,

Most of us here have certain kinds/colors/materials of buttons that
are grosser to us than others. In fact, some don't bother me at all,
and others make me physically sick.

If you couldn't take off the buttons to sew it up or replace them with
snaps, maybe you could see about replacing the buttons with a
different kind of button? Even a slight difference in a button (at
least to me) can sometimes make a big difference in its "gross factor."

As far as the other kids go, I would say that a little white lie
wouldn't hurt. He could tell them he was allergic to a certain kind of
plastic or something. :)  He should NOT tell them about the phobia
because they will taunt him with buttons and there is NOTHING worse
than that.

~Lisa

Hi

My daughter has had button phobia since she was very young - and
still has. Nothing we have done has made it ease or go away.
At one point, when she was about 12 or 13 she had to wear a button
shirt for a theatre production. She loved the youth theatre she was
in and managed to cope with the buttons, but wearing them while
doing something she enjoyed still didn't make the phobia go away.

I would try replacing the buttons with snaps so long as that won't
set your son apart from the rest of the baseball team. Children can
be cruel and knowing that he has such a phobia can be ammunition for
bullies.

Whatever you do, make sure you involve your son in the deciding what
happens. 'Having' to wear buttons will make him more anxious but if
he feels able to take control of the situation then that may help -
even if he decides that he can't be in the team.

My daughter is an adult now and still button phobic but the phobia
is a only a very small part of her life. She can handle buttons if
she has to (as the last poster said, just as you could pick up
something disgusting, like a cockroach - if you HAD to). She is
never going to like buttons but nor do they rule her life :-)

Hope this helps a little
Barbara

It's great that you're trying everything you can to help your son
through this. As an mom with a button phobia and a 7-year-old son, I
can understand both sides.

Switching to snaps may help, but it may not, as a certain amount of
disgust surrounds the whole idea of buttons even having been on the
shirt. Think about it like this--he feels the same way about buttons
that you probably feel about...cockroaches. They're nasty and you
don't want to think about any place you know they've been. However
unreasonable the phobia may be, to sufferers it feels as real as the
more common reaction to creepy crawly things. For this reason, I
don't think that either short bursts of exposure or positive
associations will help. I'm sure all the positive experiences I've
had in my life have taken place in proximity to buttons, but I don't
feel any less creeped out by the damn things.

Having said that, do as you're doing: offer some possible solutions,
but let him make the decision he feels comfortable with. He'll be
fine. Dozens of us in this group have made it all these years
without even knowing there was anyone else who shared our feelings.
Your son can now connect with others, and maybe as a group they'll
come up with some new uniform designs. Yeah!

Hi,

My son has had a fear of buttons since he was about 3 yrs old (he's 8
1/2 now). He used to say that they smelled bad, and until recently
couldn't sit close to someone wearing buttons or eat anything if
buttons were in sight. That part about eating around others with
buttons has improved, but he still gets very anxious and feels sick
to his stomach if he is asked to wear a button shirt, even if it is
only for 1/2 hour. He absolutely refused to wear buttons until last
year when we took him to a psychologist, then got better about it,
but has reverted back to getting extremely upset and ill when we try
to get him to wear one.

The problem now is that he's been chosen for a baseball team, but
when he saw the uniform had 2 buttons on it he said 'well then i just
can't be on the team' even though he'd been so eager to make it
before he found out about the buttons on the shirt. I feel awful for
him because I know he was so excited to get selected and now the
buttons upset him so much he won't join.

Any advice on this? I'm wondering if short spurts of wearing the
shirt to get used to it might work, or if I should try to switch the
buttons to snaps, or just sew the button holes closed and sew up that
part. It's so hard, and I hate to see him drop out of something he's
good at. Plus, part of me was hoping if he wore buttons during
something he really enjoyed, then maybe he'd start to not mind them.

thanks for any help you can suggest!

Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

Hi Barbara,

Yes, for me some are much worse than others. I am the opposite of you
though because it seems that small buttons for me are worse than big
ones.

For some reason, any button which my fingertip can completely cover is
really gross to me, almost without exception. However, very large
buttons, like the ones on pea coats, don't bother me at all.

I just got back from a beach vacation and there were lots of things
there with buttons all over them. The worst thing I saw was a necklace
completely made of buttons!!!! My stomach started to turn and I had to
leave the store.

~Lisa

This summer I've managed to wear a couple of blouses and T-shirts with
very small butons on.

Does this mean I'm over my phobia? Unfortunately I don't think so. I
have always found tiny buttons less of a problem than big ones and I
still don't like it when I accidentally touch one but I can't see them
when they are on my front and I think I can forget about them. I still
couldn't wear big ones and I couldn't wear any in bed when I was
trying to relax. I bought some pyjama trousers recently that had tiny
decorative buttons on the front. I thought I could wear them but I
couldn't and had to cut them off.

Does anyone else find some buttons are acceptable?

Barbara

Sorry about all of the spam this list has been getting. I'm able to get
online more often now, so I should be able to delete posts like this more
regularly. I'm also creating a new moderator for the list who should be able
to delete messages if I can't get online for a while.

The only other thing that I could do is have messages need approving before
they are sent to the list, but that will lead to delays as I can't get
online every day.

I will try and keep an eye on things more now :-)

Claire.


>Please don't fall for this.
>
>If someone joins a phobia self help group then it should be to gain
>more knowledge about their phobia and/or to help and support others.
>
>It should not be to sell their own products.
>
>Maybe some of the methods in this book work and maybe they don't but
>you won't find out unless you hand over your money. That is the sure
>sign of a scam. I don't believe a word of it.
>
>Barbara
>
>--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "mjgjxbwamdsc" <mjgjxbwamdsc@...>
>wrote:
> >
> > There's a lot of misinformation and ineffective phobia treatments
>out
> > there. There are some people that are operating out of decades-old
> > ideas and theories about how phobias should be treated. The truth
>is,
> > not very many therapists have a clue as to what to do with phobias.
> > You could spend years and thousands of dollars researching,
>reading,
> > poring over old books in dusty libraries, going to sessions with
> > boring, ill-informed therapists trying to help you gain "insight"
>into
> > you problem (and if you do get insight, it usually doesn't help -
>it's
> > a fact).
> > My friend Keith Livingston have been searching and testing for
>years to
> > find you the most dynamic, most powerful, most effective and
>quickest
> > techniques so you don't have to waste your time with irrelevant
>and
> > outdated techniques or in therapy for years with someone who
>doesn't
> > understand what to do with phobias.
> > http://phobiaakem.blogspot.com/#
> >
>
>
>
>

Hi Kim

I'm sorry your son is having this problem :-( For many people
(including me) it does seem to begin at a very young age.
There may be some tips to help you if you look back at some of the
messages on here (have a look at my message no. 153).

I spoke to Claire recently and I gather your interview will be for
the Daily Mail in the UK. We do have some UK members but quite a few
people who post here live in the USA.

I'm sorry I can't help but my daughter is now grown up - and still
button phobic, unfortunately!

Barbara

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, Kim Jones <kimajones@...> wrote:
>
> Looking for interviewees
>
> Hi - My son(almost three)recently started to refuse to wear
anything
> with buttons. Gorgeous
> cute pyjamas and cute cardies are definitely out! I spent a while
> researching button phobia on
> the net and - to my relief - came across lots of other people
with
> the same dislike of buttons,
> children and adults alike. As a journalist, I wanted to write an
> article on this subject, and I've
> just been commissioned by a national newspaper to write a piece
on
> children's everyday fears
> and phobias  -  so I'm looking for other mums of small children
with
> a button phobia to
> interview. It wouldn't involve too much time - about half an hour
on
> the phone and then a
> small pic afterwards. There'd be a fee for anyone who takes part,
too.
>
> Hope to hear from you as soon as possible
>
> Best wishes
>
> Kim
>