Hello and welcome to the group :-)

I have had button phobia since I was quite little. Even though I
tried to hide my phobia for many years it seems that I have in some
way passed it on to my daughter who has been button phobic from an
early age - probably as young as your daughter.

I'm not quite sure what to tell you. When it became obvious that my
daughter had the same problems as I did I tried to help. I have
tried forcing my daughter to wear buttons (thinking that she could
beat this when I couldn't) but she couldn't do that. I have tried
ignoring it and hoping it would go away. It didn't. She is now 22
and still phobic. There is no way she will ever wear a button. She
had to wear formal clothes for her university exams including gown
and blouse and I had to cut off the buttons from her blouse and sew
up the front so she could wear it.

There are ways around this phobia. When she was little I replaced
any buttons on her clothing with untraditional buttons ie those
without two holes, usually in animal shapes - you can usually buy
these for children. For a while they were successful but she soon
associated them with buttons and disliked them too.

That isn't going to help when your daughter starts school and has to
wear a polo shirt. The school may allow you to cut off the buttons
of course if they are going to cause her real distress but the
problems come if she appears different from the other children and
if they find out she is scared of buttons.

That said, my daughter recently had to wear a polo shirt for a
summer job and was allowed to cut off the buttons.

I would have hoped the people at your local psychiatric unit would
have been more helpful. Even if they haven't heard of button phobia
they should know something about the general treatment of phobias
and be able to recommend something. Phobia treatment does tend to
involve things like hypnotherapy (would she be old enough for this?)
or flooding techniques where the phobic is exposed to large amounts
of the hated thing so that they find out it cannot harm them and
their fear recedes. (My son is a psychologist and is fond of telling
us how to overcome this.....ummm, without convincing us, I'm afraid).

My thoughts on enabling her to overcome this would probably include
helping her to touch buttons. Perhaps by playing with the sorts of
buttons she likes (you say she is OK with metal ones), maybe make
pictures with them, and gradually introduce different kinds,
particularly sparkly ones, say, or whatever appeals to her.
Don't force her to do this though or you will put her off even more.

I'm sorry, I've replied at length but I do think you may have a good
chance of reversing this phobia as your daughter is so young. If you
look back at some of the messages on here you will see that it can
be quite upsetting at times and interfere with jobs, boyfriends,
shopping and lifestyle.

Do let us know how you get on and good luck!

Barbara

--- In b_phobia@yahoogroups.com, "emmad292" <emmad292@...> wrote:
>
> Hi I've just discovered your group and I'm amazed to find so many
> people with this phobia!
>
> My daughter who is now 3 has suffered from this fear since she was
> about 18 months. I have no idea h9ow it started, but it is
becoming
> progressively worse. She now refuses to wear any clothes with
buttons
> on, and won't even hold my hand if I have a button on my clothes.
>
> Seems the traditional plastic ones with the holes are the worst.
She
> doesn't really notice the metal ones.
>
> Does anyone else have children with the same fear? Any tips from
> existing sufferers on how to cope with this? I don't want to make
her
> any worse, as she will start school in a year and will have to
wear a
> polo shirt.
>
> I have already asked for advice from our health visitors, who
referred
> me to the local psychiatric unit at the hospital, and they had
never
> heard of button phobia! Obviously haven't searched the internet
then!
>