Carol,

I'd say it only shows it for about 10 seconds, if that, so you definitely have
to be paying attention. It is the part where the rookie takes out the sports car
to race it. The off duty officer is at the gas pump, and then the other cop is
sitting in his squad car parked next to a big billboard. He is masturbating and
has a noose around his neck. He is also holding the radar gun and right as he is
about to "get off" the rookie races by and clocks in on the radar gun. I'd say
it is about half way through the movie, but like I said it is shows it very very
briefly.

Sarah

Carol <sixcons@...> wrote:
Hi Sarah,
I'm sorry about JD! I'm Carol, my 16 year old son Steve died just 3
years ago this august.

I'm curious about Super Troopers. Last year my 12 year old son matt was
home with the flu, he watched that movie 15 times. I finally put a
block on it because I thought it was the dumbest movie I ever saw. I
could only sit through parts of it. but I asked matt about your post,
he said AEA wasnt in it! was it quick, where you wouldnt see it unless
you were looking for it? was it just inferred? Matt knows all about
AEA, he would know it if he saw it.

of course now I'm going to have to watch that stupid movie again just
out of curiousity. HBO usually shows old movies over and over.

Carol




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Hi Sarah,
I'm sorry about JD! I'm Carol, my 16 year old son Steve died just 3
years ago this august.

I'm curious about Super Troopers. Last year my 12 year old son matt was
home with the flu, he watched that movie 15 times. I finally put a
block on it because I thought it was the dumbest movie I ever saw. I
could only sit through parts of it. but I asked matt about your post,
he said AEA wasnt in it! was it quick, where you wouldnt see it unless
you were looking for it? was it just inferred? Matt knows all about
AEA, he would know it if he saw it.

of course now I'm going to have to watch that stupid movie again just
out of curiousity. HBO usually shows old movies over and over.

Carol

Unfortunately, I'm sure you are right about the ages of the viewers. I myself
was still in highschool when I saw it and knew several other friends my age who
all saw it. It is a comedy, so I knew seeing it, not to take it seriously.
Unfortunately I cannot speak for my peers when I say that. But before yesterday,
I thought the movie was harmless. Now I know that many young men who have seen
that movie may be more inclined to experiment with autoerotic asphyxiation.

Sarah

Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:
Oh great. I just found a site for it, and all these comments sent in by viewers
who sound very young. They are raving over it, saying it is hilarious and
everyone should see it and buy it and watch it dozens of times, the jokes are
soooooo funny. I guess they make aea look funny too right? ~~Dianna Jason's mom

Sarah ONeal <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Dianna, yes "Super Troopers" was made
2001. It very briefly features the activity of autoerotic asphyxia being
performed by one of the cop characters, who is masturbating in his squad car
with a noose like rope around his neck, parked next to a billboard with an
attractive blonde female on it.

Sarah

Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:
Sarah, I'm Dianna, my son Jason died 6 years ago when he was 14. What is the
movie Super Troopers? Is it a new movie, newer than 1999? Thanks. ~~Dianna
Jason's mom

Sarah <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Debra, thank you so much for your kind words.
I can only imagine
what it must be like losing a child, but my heart goes out to you,
as well as anyone else who has delt with this type of tragedy.
Before this happened, I was aware of this type of behavior , as I
have heard some type of coverage on it (yet I cannot recall where
from) as well as seen it in the movie "Super Troopers". I just
didn't realize how large scale it really was. Now that I know
though, I won't let JD's death be in vain. I have a younger brother
and now I feel it my duty to educate him and his friends. I just
feel so bad for JD's family and wonder how it will be explained to
his little siblings (of which there are several). I imagine that a
child would not understand but also I believe that they deserve to
know the truth....
Thank you again. Sarah

--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, kelly and
debra sims <kellyanddebra@y...> wrote:
> Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death
like this is devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had
his 20th birthday.  He just finished his 3rd semester in college,
was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved life and having fun.  I know
your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He needs to
understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is
easily connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily
you can die from this.  It can be much more dangerous than most
drugs.   I don't know if you have seen the media coverage lately,
this is much more widespread than you might think.  There are kids
dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get the high,
others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others
who are grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will
need your help to celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
>  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you
need us here, we will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra
>
> Sarah <glitrvamp@y...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I
received a call on my cell phone from
> a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
> thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
> at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and
dialed
> my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
> important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
> his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called
my
> boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
> At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
> someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having
fun -
> how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might
be
> drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
> after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to
learn
> that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He
was
> a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did
not
> intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me
to
> understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
> necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on
a
> regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
> behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
> especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
> that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
> as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and
one
> of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his
cousin
> told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
> Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
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Loss of a parent Loss of
>
> ---------------------------------
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>
>
>     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  autoeroticasphyxiationsupport-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
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Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Oh great. I just found a site for it, and all these comments sent in by viewers
who sound very young. They are raving over it, saying it is hilarious and
everyone should see it and buy it and watch it dozens of times, the jokes are
soooooo funny. I guess they make aea look funny too right? ~~Dianna Jason's mom

Sarah ONeal <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Dianna, yes "Super Troopers" was made
2001. It very briefly features the activity of autoerotic asphyxia being
performed by one of the cop characters, who is masturbating in his squad car
with a noose like rope around his neck, parked next to a billboard with an
attractive blonde female on it.

Sarah

Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:
Sarah, I'm Dianna, my son Jason died 6 years ago when he was 14. What is the
movie Super Troopers? Is it a new movie, newer than 1999? Thanks. ~~Dianna
Jason's mom

Sarah <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Debra, thank you so much for your kind words.
I can only imagine
what it must be like losing a child, but my heart goes out to you,
as well as anyone else who has delt with this type of tragedy.
Before this happened, I was aware of this type of behavior , as I
have heard some type of coverage on it (yet I cannot recall where
from) as well as seen it in the movie "Super Troopers". I just
didn't realize how large scale it really was. Now that I know
though, I won't let JD's death be in vain. I have a younger brother
and now I feel it my duty to educate him and his friends. I just
feel so bad for JD's family and wonder how it will be explained to
his little siblings (of which there are several). I imagine that a
child would not understand but also I believe that they deserve to
know the truth....
Thank you again. Sarah

--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, kelly and
debra sims <kellyanddebra@y...> wrote:
> Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death
like this is devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had
his 20th birthday.  He just finished his 3rd semester in college,
was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved life and having fun.  I know
your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He needs to
understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is
easily connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily
you can die from this.  It can be much more dangerous than most
drugs.   I don't know if you have seen the media coverage lately,
this is much more widespread than you might think.  There are kids
dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get the high,
others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others
who are grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will
need your help to celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
>  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you
need us here, we will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra
>
> Sarah <glitrvamp@y...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I
received a call on my cell phone from
> a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
> thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
> at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and
dialed
> my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
> important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
> his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called
my
> boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
> At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
> someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having
fun -
> how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might
be
> drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
> after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to
learn
> that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He
was
> a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did
not
> intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me
to
> understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
> necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on
a
> regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
> behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
> especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
> that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
> as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and
one
> of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his
cousin
> told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
> Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Loss of a pet Loss of pet Loss of libido Loss of libido in woman
Loss of a parent Loss of
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  autoeroticasphyxiationsupport-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




---------------------------------
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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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---------------------------------




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please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dianna, yes "Super Troopers" was made 2001. It very briefly features the
activity of autoerotic asphyxia being performed by one of the cop characters,
who is masturbating in his squad car with a noose like rope around his neck,
parked next to a billboard with an attractive blonde female on it.

Sarah

Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:
Sarah, I'm Dianna, my son Jason died 6 years ago when he was 14. What is the
movie Super Troopers? Is it a new movie, newer than 1999? Thanks. ~~Dianna
Jason's mom

Sarah <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Debra, thank you so much for your kind words.
I can only imagine
what it must be like losing a child, but my heart goes out to you,
as well as anyone else who has delt with this type of tragedy.
Before this happened, I was aware of this type of behavior , as I
have heard some type of coverage on it (yet I cannot recall where
from) as well as seen it in the movie "Super Troopers". I just
didn't realize how large scale it really was. Now that I know
though, I won't let JD's death be in vain. I have a younger brother
and now I feel it my duty to educate him and his friends. I just
feel so bad for JD's family and wonder how it will be explained to
his little siblings (of which there are several). I imagine that a
child would not understand but also I believe that they deserve to
know the truth....
Thank you again. Sarah

--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, kelly and
debra sims <kellyanddebra@y...> wrote:
> Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death
like this is devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had
his 20th birthday.  He just finished his 3rd semester in college,
was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved life and having fun.  I know
your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He needs to
understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is
easily connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily
you can die from this.  It can be much more dangerous than most
drugs.   I don't know if you have seen the media coverage lately,
this is much more widespread than you might think.  There are kids
dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get the high,
others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others
who are grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will
need your help to celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
>  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you
need us here, we will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra
>
> Sarah <glitrvamp@y...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I
received a call on my cell phone from
> a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
> thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
> at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and
dialed
> my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
> important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
> his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called
my
> boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
> At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
> someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having
fun -
> how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might
be
> drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
> after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to
learn
> that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He
was
> a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did
not
> intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me
to
> understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
> necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on
a
> regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
> behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
> especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
> that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
> as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and
one
> of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his
cousin
> told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
> Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Loss of a pet Loss of pet Loss of libido Loss of libido in woman
Loss of a parent Loss of
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  autoeroticasphyxiationsupport-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




---------------------------------
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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










---------------------------------
Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



---------------------------------
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     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.

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---------------------------------




---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah, I'm Dianna, my son Jason died 6 years ago when he was 14. What is the
movie Super Troopers? Is it a new movie, newer than 1999? Thanks. ~~Dianna
Jason's mom

Sarah <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Debra, thank you so much for your kind words.
I can only imagine
what it must be like losing a child, but my heart goes out to you,
as well as anyone else who has delt with this type of tragedy.
Before this happened, I was aware of this type of behavior , as I
have heard some type of coverage on it (yet I cannot recall where
from) as well as seen it in the movie "Super Troopers". I just
didn't realize how large scale it really was. Now that I know
though, I won't let JD's death be in vain. I have a younger brother
and now I feel it my duty to educate him and his friends. I just
feel so bad for JD's family and wonder how it will be explained to
his little siblings (of which there are several). I imagine that a
child would not understand but also I believe that they deserve to
know the truth....
Thank you again. Sarah

--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, kelly and
debra sims <kellyanddebra@y...> wrote:
> Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death
like this is devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had
his 20th birthday.  He just finished his 3rd semester in college,
was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved life and having fun.  I know
your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He needs to
understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is
easily connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily
you can die from this.  It can be much more dangerous than most
drugs.   I don't know if you have seen the media coverage lately,
this is much more widespread than you might think.  There are kids
dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get the high,
others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others
who are grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will
need your help to celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
>  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you
need us here, we will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra
>
> Sarah <glitrvamp@y...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I
received a call on my cell phone from
> a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
> thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
> at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and
dialed
> my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
> important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
> his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called
my
> boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
> At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
> someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having
fun -
> how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might
be
> drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
> after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to
learn
> that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He
was
> a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did
not
> intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me
to
> understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
> necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on
a
> regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
> behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
> especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
> that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
> as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and
one
> of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his
cousin
> told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
> Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
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Loss of a parent Loss of
>
> ---------------------------------
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>
>
>     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  autoeroticasphyxiationsupport-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Service.
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>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










---------------------------------
  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra, thank you so much for your kind words. I can only imagine
what it must be like losing a child, but my heart goes out to you,
as well as anyone else who has delt with this type of tragedy.
Before this happened, I was aware of this type of behavior , as I
have heard some type of coverage on it (yet I cannot recall where
from) as well as seen it in the movie "Super Troopers". I just
didn't realize how large scale it really was. Now that I know
though, I won't let JD's death be in vain. I have a younger brother
and now I feel it my duty to educate him and his friends. I just
feel so bad for JD's family and wonder how it will be explained to
his little siblings (of which there are several). I imagine that a
child would not understand but also I believe that they deserve to
know the truth....
Thank you again. Sarah

--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, kelly and
debra sims <kellyanddebra@y...> wrote:
> Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death
like this is devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had
his 20th birthday.  He just finished his 3rd semester in college,
was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved life and having fun.  I know
your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He needs to
understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is
easily connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily
you can die from this.  It can be much more dangerous than most
drugs.   I don't know if you have seen the media coverage lately,
this is much more widespread than you might think.  There are kids
dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get the high,
others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others
who are grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will
need your help to celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
>  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you
need us here, we will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra
>
> Sarah <glitrvamp@y...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I
received a call on my cell phone from
> a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
> thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
> at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and
dialed
> my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
> important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
> his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called
my
> boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
> At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
> someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having
fun -
> how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might
be
> drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
> after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to
learn
> that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He
was
> a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did
not
> intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me
to
> understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
> necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on
a
> regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
> behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
> especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
> that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
> as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and
one
> of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his
cousin
> told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
> Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.
>
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Loss of a pet Loss of pet Loss of libido Loss of libido in woman
Loss of a parent Loss of
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  autoeroticasphyxiationsupport-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah,  I am so sorry for your loss.  The trauma of a sudden death like this is
devastating.  I lost my son 8 months ago, he just had his 20th birthday.  He
just finished his 3rd semester in college, was a wonderful, joyful kid who loved
life and having fun.  I know your boyfriend will have a hard time with this. He
needs to understand that it is like doing drugs, just not illegal, and is easily
connected with sex.  Young people don't realize how easily you can die from
this.  It can be much more dangerous than most drugs.   I don't know if you have
seen the media coverage lately, this is much more widespread than you might
think.  There are kids dying as young as 9 years old, some just trying to get
the high, others experiment with the sexual connection.  You, your friend, or
anyone who feels his loss, can come to this site and talk to others who are
grieving their lost loved one.  The parents of this boy will need your help to
celebrate the wonderful things about his life, tell
  them what he meant to you, and your boyfriend.  If any of you need us here, we
will be here to help you in any way we can.  Debra

Sarah <glitrvamp@...> wrote:Yesterday on my lunch break, I received a call
on my cell phone from
a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and dialed
my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called my
boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having fun -
how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might be
drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to learn
that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He was
a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did not
intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me to
understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on a
regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and one
of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his cousin
told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.




SPONSORED LINKS
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---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Yesterday on my lunch break, I received a call on my cell phone from
a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to my voice mail. I
thought nothing of it and continued on with what I was doing. Back
at the office I remembered the message I had yet to check and dialed
my voicemail. It was my boyfriend's mom saying "it was vitally
important" to get in contact with us. Immediately I thought it was
his grandfather who is approaching 80 years of age. When I called my
boyfriend I was shocked. It was his cousin, not even 20 years old.
At first we were told he killed himself. I couldn't understand why
someone so bright and intelligent and who loved life and having fun -
  how someone like that could kill themselves. We thought it might be
drugs as he had recently began experimenting with cocaine. Later
after the police investigation we were shocked and relieved to learn
that he had in fact not killed himself, on purpose at least. He was
a victim of Autoerotic asphyxia. It was good to know that he did not
intentionally take his own life. But it's still confusing for me to
understand why he felt that this type of autoerotic behavoir was
necessary. Of course, we don't know if he practiced this action on a
regular basis or not. I just wish that more people knew about this
behavior and knew how dangerous it can be. It is so devastating
especially for my boyfriend because his cousin was more than just
that- not only was he his only cousin, but his best friend as well
as a brother figure. They kept in touch on a regular  basis and one
of the saddest things is, the last time he talked to him, his cousin
told him he was busy and that he'd call him back on Tuesday or
Wednesday. Unfortunately, yesterday, the day he died, was Tuesday.

Christy, if I ever get out that way, I will bring some tapes, I've got lots,
thank you. We just rode up the road to see what got torn up, several trees down
around 3 houses about a half mile from here, the houses are ok, bushes and yards
all wrecked and a shed flattened.  And going straight north about 2 more miles,
another house with alot of tree damage and a big tree down and part of a barn
roof off. Oh a half mile west, it could have been right here. It came up so
fast, there is no time to leave your trailer, I have a sister in a big house
with a basement a half mile from here (the other way) and we could go there, but
first there's my mom and sister 5 trailers up from me and they wont leave their
animals (I'd take my dogs, leave the cats, as it might not hit) and anyway when
I turned the news on, it was already here. I just got low on the floor in case
it brushed the trailer and took the roof, ahahhahahaa, makes me sick to think
about it. One time we did get a longer warning,
  said one was headed right up hwy 15 in our county, we live so close to that, so
I made Brian go with me to Heidi's house, I took the dogs, and money, insurance
papers, scooped up some loose photos of Jason in a bag and Jason's ashes. That's
all that matters. I should have taken my computer tower too, hehehehe. ~Dianna
Jason's mom

christy86m@... wrote:hey d - come stay with me in medina, ohio. bring movies
of jason from when
he was a kid.

xo
christy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









__________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sheila, we live in a mobile home, I always lived in a house until 5 years ago, I
like this trailer alot, it'll do just fine, but you feel like a sitting duck
during storms, I'll never get used to that. No basement and they just blow away
to smithereens. Wind is very bothersome in these things. I know I wouldn't like
the earthquakes either! I'd be afraid to be in buildings then. I like rain but
not storms, lightning scares me. I think in a previous life I was killed by
lightning, ahhahaha. Jason liked rain, he said it soothed him, I know what he
means. But not STORMS. We were in a tornado watch the rest of the night, it's
over now. ~Dianna Jason's mom

Sheila Parkhurst <ziggyndustin@...> wrote:Dianna,

I had no idea how close you were to all of this going on. I have been praying
for the area's touched by Katrina. She has created so much damage and so much
heartache. I hope that you were able to get some sleep last night. I love
storms. I lived in Minnesota for a while, but not the type you are dealing with.
The idea of a Tornado coming down from the sky, and there is no place to hide
terrify me. Thank Goodness we only had warnings where we lived. I am from
California originally and would rather suffer through an earthquake any old
time. Although I missed the big Oakland area one. It was actually centered South
and closer to where I was born. My family swear they dont ever want to go
through another.

Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:


Well, about two hours ago, a tornado touched down about a mile from my
mobile home, trees are down, the road is closed and some barn roofs
came off a mile or so further north. Earlier there was a tornado
warning south of us in Md, a big storm was heading this way, but they
canceled the warning so I turned everything off and went to bed to
read. It poured then, real hard then kept stopping real fast and
starting up and the lights blinked. I came out and turned on the tv
and they said a tornado was possibly in the Hunterstown area which is
a mile from me, the lights went out again for a second, that's when I
think it hit, it also got real windy here at that time. Then the
reports came in about the trees down and the road being closed and the
roofs off. Gads. I was home alone, my husband works at night, I'm also
a big baby in storms. It's still windy but the rain is north of us
now. I live 4 miles north of Gettysburg. When my heart slows down I'm
going to bed, hahahhahaha.  ~~Dianna








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










---------------------------------
  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hey d - come stay with me in medina, ohio. bring movies of jason from when
he was a kid.

xo
christy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Well, about two hours ago, a tornado touched down about a mile from my
mobile home, trees are down, the road is closed and some barn roofs
came off a mile or so further north. Earlier there was a tornado
warning south of us in Md, a big storm was heading this way, but they
canceled the warning so I turned everything off and went to bed to
read. It poured then, real hard then kept stopping real fast and
starting up and the lights blinked. I came out and turned on the tv
and they said a tornado was possibly in the Hunterstown area which is
a mile from me, the lights went out again for a second, that's when I
think it hit, it also got real windy here at that time. Then the
reports came in about the trees down and the road being closed and the
roofs off. Gads. I was home alone, my husband works at night, I'm also
a big baby in storms. It's still windy but the rain is north of us
now. I live 4 miles north of Gettysburg. When my heart slows down I'm
going to bed, hahahhahaha.  ~~Dianna










please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thanks for getting the health department involved!

William

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO


Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like  Massachusetts,
Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism. !

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not,
But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!

Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

Texas
Se Hablo Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Ay, Yep

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

&

The District of Columbia

The Work-Free Drug Place!








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










---------------------------------
  Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I received the following letter from our department of health.  Just a thought
to notify your local health departments and schools, so they are aware.  Loni

Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.com
Our Journal (Blog):  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com
Please sign our guestbook: 
http://www.legacy.com/grandrapids/Guestbook.asp?Page=Guestbook&PersonID=2917549

>Dear Loni,
>As the chairperson of the Montcalm/Gratiot Child Death Review Team, we extend
our sympathies for the loss of your son, Matthew.
>Child Death Review Teams were created by the State of Michigan as a program to
study fatalities in people under the age of 18 and thereby learn how to prevent
further deaths.   Team members represent law enforcement, schools, public
health, hospitals and medical examiners.
>We wanted you to be aware that a letter was developed by Mid-Michigan District
Health Department’s Medical Director and mailed to the school superintendents in
Montcalm, Gratiot and Clinton Counties informing them of the prevalence of teen
deaths due to asphyxia and requesting they address this dangerous practice in
their school health curriculums. We have also made Health Department clinic
staff aware of these risky behaviors so that they can caution teens.
>We commend your efforts to inform others and to prevent similar tragedies.
>Sincerely,
>
>
>Bonnie J Ayers RN,BSN
>Community Health and Education Supervisor
>Mid-Michigan District Health Department
>151 Commerce Drive
>Ithaca, MI  48847
>989-875-1027
>bayers@...


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Neurological disorders? I guess the CDC is still the same, a few years ago I
asked them to include aea and they said they didn't. They keep records of types
of death, looks like accuracy isn't a factor and what about the study of risky
behaviour in teens? This irks me. How do you get through to them??? ~Dianna
Jason's mom

girlmariner <girlmariner@...> wrote:

--- CDC Public Inquiry <inquiry@...> wrote:

> Subject: dsFW: auto erotic asphyxia
> Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 10:39:42 -0400
> From: "CDC Public Inquiry" <inquiry@...>
> To: <girlmariner@...>
>
> Thank you for your inquiry with The Centers for
> Disease Control and
> Prevention (CDC).  The CDC does not participate in
> the study of this
> topic.  Please contact the following agency for
> assistance.
>
>
>
> National Institutes of Health
>
> Public Information Office
>
> Building 1, Room 344
>
> 9000 Rockville Pike
>
> Bethesda, MD 20872
>
> 301-496-5751
>
> http://www.ninds.nih.gov <http://www.ninds.nih.gov>
>
>
>
> Thanks
>
>
>
> DS
>
> Public Inquiries
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: CDC Public Inquiry
> Sent: Saturday, August 27, 2005 1:02 PM
> To: CDC Public Inquiry
> Subject: Public Inquiry for *Other (Please describe
> below.)
>
>
>
> A new public inquiry has been received from the CDC
> Internet for the
> above referenced subject.
>
> The following is the information as entered by the
> user:
>
> Field Name
>
> Data provided
>
> Date / Time posted:
>
> 8/27/2005 1:02:22 PM
>
> User Name:
>
> Annette Beyschau
>
> Title:
>
> grieving Grandmother
>
> Organization Name:
>
> AeA support
>
> Address:
>
>
>
> Telephone:
>
>
>
> EMail:
>
> girlmariner@...
>
> Subject:
>
> risky behaviors
>
> Comments:
>
> Please enclude auto erotic asphyxia in your list of
> risky
> behaviors...this is killing our young precious
> children in alarming
> rates...Parents must be made aware of this dangerous
> practice....whether
> its called the choking game or AeA it kill just the
> same. Thank you,
> Annette Beyschau
>
> This is an automated system. Please do not reply to
> this message.
>
>




____________________________________________________
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http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs



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---------------------------------








please visit Jason's  memory site:
http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death









__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

--- CDC Public Inquiry <inquiry@...> wrote:

> Subject: dsFW: auto erotic asphyxia
> Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 10:39:42 -0400
> From: "CDC Public Inquiry" <inquiry@...>
> To: <girlmariner@...>
>
> Thank you for your inquiry with The Centers for
> Disease Control and
> Prevention (CDC).  The CDC does not participate in
> the study of this
> topic.  Please contact the following agency for
> assistance.
>
>
>
> National Institutes of Health
>
> Public Information Office
>
> Building 1, Room 344
>
> 9000 Rockville Pike
>
> Bethesda, MD 20872
>
> 301-496-5751
>
> http://www.ninds.nih.gov <http://www.ninds.nih.gov>
>
>
>
> Thanks
>
>
>
> DS
>
> Public Inquiries
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: CDC Public Inquiry
> Sent: Saturday, August 27, 2005 1:02 PM
> To: CDC Public Inquiry
> Subject: Public Inquiry for *Other (Please describe
> below.)
>
>
>
> A new public inquiry has been received from the CDC
> Internet for the
> above referenced subject.
>
> The following is the information as entered by the
> user:
>
> Field Name
>
> Data provided
>
> Date / Time posted:
>
> 8/27/2005 1:02:22 PM
>
> User Name:
>
> Annette Beyschau
>
> Title:
>
> grieving Grandmother
>
> Organization Name:
>
> AeA support
>
> Address:
>
>
>
> Telephone:
>
>
>
> EMail:
>
> girlmariner@...
>
> Subject:
>
> risky behaviors
>
> Comments:
>
> Please enclude auto erotic asphyxia in your list of
> risky
> behaviors...this is killing our young precious
> children in alarming
> rates...Parents must be made aware of this dangerous
> practice....whether
> its called the choking game or AeA it kill just the
> same. Thank you,
> Annette Beyschau
>
> This is an automated system. Please do not reply to
> this message.
>
>




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Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...> wrote:To:
autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com
From: Dianna Brendle <jasonsmom285@...>
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 10:24:19 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: [Autoerotic Asphyxiation Support] cdc's DR, Grunbaum

oh BOY an email address! Thank you Ann and Debra. I can email alot of stuff.
First I need a nap, then have to organize it. Bombard time. I like this idea.
Did I tell all of you about the nurse from the school system in Houston? She's
written back to me about what happened in their presentation and what they
learned. I'll send that too. ~~Dianna Jason's mom

girlmariner <girlmariner@...> wrote:  Dr. Jo Anne Grunbaum by telephone
(770) 488-6182 or email at
(jgrunbaum@...).




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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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oh BOY an email address! Thank you Ann and Debra. I can email alot of stuff.
First I need a nap, then have to organize it. Bombard time. I like this idea.
Did I tell all of you about the nurse from the school system in Houston? She's
written back to me about what happened in their presentation and what they
learned. I'll send that too. ~~Dianna Jason's mom

girlmariner <girlmariner@...> wrote:  Dr. Jo Anne Grunbaum by telephone
(770) 488-6182 or email at
(jgrunbaum@...).




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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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I emailed her about adding AeA to risky
behaviors...she seems to be involved quite a bit with
high school students and the studies of risky
behaviors in regarding to sports, etc...hopefull some
day some of this will pay off....Ann (Stevie's Grandma)



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Thanks Ann,  Have you talked to her or contacted her.  Did she seem interested? 
She did not seem to be overly concerned when I talked to her.  She did not seem
to think that it was something common enough for them to be concerned.  I hope
she gets lots of info and starts to see the numbers.  Debra

girlmariner <girlmariner@...> wrote:  Dr. Jo Anne Grunbaum by telephone
(770) 488-6182 or email at
(jgrunbaum@...).




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Dr. Jo Anne Grunbaum by telephone (770) 488-6182 or email at
(jgrunbaum@...).

http://www.cdc.gov/netinfo.htm  this is the web site for the center for
disease control and  prevention.  They do a survey I think every other
year.  They survey schools for a variety of risk behaviors, from teen
sexual activity, alcohol and drug use, teen pregnancy etc.  There is a
Dr Jo Anne Grunbaum who collects information that is used to evaluate
areas that need to be on the survey.  I called to ask her if any
information about asphyxiation activities were mentioned.  She said no,
she was not aware that it might be a concern widespread enough to be on
the survey.  I will be sending her as much information as possible but
I thought everyone would like to send a note, or any and all info you
can to her letting her know of our concern.  If we could get their
attention, and the survey questions reveal high activity, this
information could be used to incorporate asphyxia into health ed. At
this time,  I do not have a personal e-mail, so use this address and
attention Dr. Grunbaum concerning the TRBS (youth risk behavior survey)
If I get an address more directly to her I will post it. Also, her
direct phone number is (770) 488-6182  Debra

Loni,  I'm glad to hear from you.  My husband and I are having similar problems.
We both are having a hard time dealing with the publicity of Micah's death.
Micah was so much more than how he died.  But I want so badly for no other child
to die this way.  So I have to get the courage to tell his story.  I am still
struggling to understand all this. I want to respect his memory, and protect my
other children. I see all these brave parents go on national t.v. and I am so
thankful and respect their courage.

  It is really hard with my family also.  My brother and sister in law have not
called for months and months.  I don't know what I expect...something!  My
mother and sister have been there for me every step, and I am so thankful for
them.  My father died 3 years ago Feb. , he was 70 I loved him with all my
heart, but that loss was nothing compared to this loss.  My dear mother compares
her loss to mine, it is the only thing she can do to try to relate to my grief. 
But I want to say to her, and never would, that she has no idea how I feel
losing my child.  I know that is wrong, I have never lost a husband, and my
father was a wonderful man.   Thanks for listening.  Debra



Loni <lonistel@...> wrote:
At 09:01 AM 8/25/2005, you wrote:
>There are so few others that want to hear me talk, including my husband. He
would just rather forget.

I want to let you know that we struggle here with that too. Men and women
definitely do grieve differently.  Before Matthew died, we had a stillborn
daughter almost 8 years ago, which in turn, I began an on-line ministry,
Bereaved Moms Share (see below).  I have an article on there how men & women
grieve differently.  This time with Matthew, Norm and I do grieve more
"together" than apart, but we differ on other things.   People Magazine called
us to do an interview, and my husband absolutely did not want that - at least at
this time.  It ended up in a huge arguement.  We do need to protect our other
children in hearing the story of how Matthew died, over and over again, and too,
we don't want others "teasing" them about what he did or treat our kids
differently.  So, yes, we need to approach this carefuly.  But, me, I would like
to "work through" Matthew's death in also going to schools, and talking to
parents, where my dh is more silent.  So, this has been a MAJOR struggle in our
  marriage.  Our pastor has been very gracious and been with us many times during
these major blowups.

The other thing that does not help at all, is extended family.  My dh's parents
think we should sweep the details of Matthew's death under the rug, and be
quiet.  When our local news station did the feature on the other family, and
mentioned too about Matthew, they hit the ceiling, to put it lightly.  It was
horrible.  It's not about "us" as a family who lost a child and are going
through the roughest times in our lives, but how we let Matthew's "dirty little
secret out and are ruining the family name."  Norm's parents had not told anyone
at his dad's work or at their church - and now they are so embarrassed.  It's
made me sick.  We had the blowup with them, and then they sent our twin's their
birthday presents in the mail (we live 30 minutes away from them).  It really
hurt them.  Here is their first birthdays without their brother, and now
grandparents stayed away too.  Tomorrow we are having a graduation party for our
oldest son (which was suppose to be a combined graduation party
  with Matthew) but we waited later, and are doing it totally different than we
had talked about.  But I don't know if Norm's parents will come or how they will
behave.  I am worried and stressed over it.  Our pastor has kept assuring us
that the concentration should not be on them.  WE lost OUR son.  They have said
we should not "keep reopening the wound."  They are greatly disturbed by
Matthew's website and my blog which "tells the world" about him.  Our pastor has
told them several times, the wound has not closed, and how both Norm & I need
more compassion and encouragements.  It took Norm's parents five months to come
here to the home after Matthew died.  Oh, I could ramble on and on about this,
but this has really added to the pain we are going through.

So besides Matthew's death and going through this, we are suppose to be working
on dealing with extended family - and we are failing  miserably.

This dealing with death esp. the way our kids died, is WORK.  It's work to
continue on, to work on marriages and our relationship - and being so available
for our children who are grieving and hurting so much too.

Sorry for such a long post.  There's just so much going on in our family right
now, and we just hope and pray tomorrow's graduation party for our oldest son
can be one of rejoicing and not how we are hurting other's feelings.  I got to
get to baking now!

Loni


OUR FAMILY:  http://www.iserv.net/~normstel/
Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.coml
BLOG:  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com/




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Very nice Loni. I'll save this. I have Please Say Their Names on Jason's site
and Bill has it on Dalton's, I got it from Bill, loved it.
  ~~Dianna jasonsom


Loni <lonistel@...> wrote:
Here's a poem I've had for awhile:


Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I am doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

By Elizabeth Dent


OUR FAMILY:  http://www.iserv.net/~normstel/
Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.coml
BLOG:  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com/




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please visit Jason's  memory site:
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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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A man who lost his beautiful 15 year old daughter, Laura, to cancer sent this to
me and with his permission I'm posting it here. If you want to see Laura there's
a site at the bottom. Christine is Laura's older sister. ~Dianna Jason's mom
.

Family get-togethers are the worst times for us.

After our last get-together my Daughter Christine wrote this which could be for
any of us:

Christmas Story
-Christine White


Below the tree sits many gifts labeled to a family. Some are wrapped with the
typical, festive wrapping paper, others bagged up covered by thin colored paper.
This is a scene of a happy family’s Christmas sanctuary. If you had known,
though, one name has been neglected this year. One name is not on the labels. If
you had not known what had happened to this member of the family, you would have
thought her family had disowned her.

Several people gather at a Christmas function, a family function the same time,
the same place, every year. This is a time to reconcile old tensions, a time to
simply remember we are family. Discord of the past between nephew and uncle is
brought to a halt not in dispute but in mutual respect. This is the doing of the
spirit of Christmas, a spiritual presence never really recognized during the
Christmas holiday.

The family sits in their usual spots, surrounded by bells collected over the
many years. And though the family converses about their lives, there is a tone
of emptiness. One person was not invited this Christmas. And when her name is
brought up, the conversation is quickly dismissed. Her name brings discomfort to
people. Her name has become either too sacred to include or too fearsome to
recognize.

When the late hour comes upon the Christmas function’s household, the gifts
under the trees are distributed to the designated individuals on the gifts’
labels. No gifts are given to the unrecognized one; perhaps because she is
considered disabled, being that she cannot carry her own gift back home, let
alone open it.

This shunned family member will be receiving no Christmas gifts from this family
function this year and years to come. She will have no place to sit at Christmas
gatherings. She will not have a place in anyone’s conversations. Furthermore,
she will hardly be recognized as a member of a family of four simply because she
has left her physical body, she has died. The family she was born into will be
recognized as a family of three until they share a common alikeness with her
death. Then, perhaps, everyone will re-recognize them as a “family of four.” It
is the sad truth, apparent in anyone’s family tree.

But come Christmas time, in her household, when only five main presences
including her dog and caged parakeet are around a decorated, plastic tree with
presents labeled to each, the father will light a candle, the mother will lay a
reserved plate of cookies and beverage at the table, and a sister or maybe even
the dog who is very capable with her teeth -- will open the few gifts labeled
“To: Laura”.

Laura wishes she could have come to the Christmas function held by her entire
family of aunts, uncles, and cousins, but understands how her presence in either
the form of a candle or as a noun in their conversation -- would bring some
discomfort. Her name may not have been written on the TO: labels, but she
doesn’t mind. Perhaps one day when her family realizes that they, too, will
become unrecognized after death, Laura will once again have a place in the
family. She does not want to harp on people’s time, thoughts, and emotions. She
does not require her family of aunts, uncles, and cousins to make sure they do
not hurt her family of lineage. She doesn't need an altar at the family
gathering’s home. It wouldn't hurt to have a candle to recognize that she is
loved, not forgotten, still considered a family member, and still a niece, a
cousin, a sister, and daughter.

Do not be afraid to recognize and welcome your departed loved one, in fear of
neglecting and hurting your loved ones in the physical plane. In truth, this
fear hurts and stings a lot worse, for you are creating an atmosphere where you
would rather disown a family member than having to admit to the fact that he or
she has departed.

What is the Christmas spirit? It is the spirit of your departed loved one who
will forever be prominent in your hearts. It is the name that is often neglected
from conversations in fear of potentially hurting a family member. Where is the
Christmas spirit? In the hearts of a household or on the do-not-invite list. Who
is the Christmas spirit? A family member that you have either shunned or
welcomed this Christmas season.

A departed loved one may no longer be able to open their gifts before your very
eyes, but as a family member, lending your assistance, your hand, is what is
considered important in a family in or not in the physical world. With your
hands you will be able to open their gifts and, in turn, they will be able to
open your hearts to the existence of love that never dies, never fades, and is
certainly never forgotten.


The heart of a Sister
  is always one to cherish
  and share with The Lord.
http://AngelLaura.2ya.com




Visit my Daughter Christine's AngelLaura's website:  Http://angellaura.2ya.com/
Dedicated to her little Sister who left us so suddenly July 12, 2002





please visit Jason's  memory site:
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Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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ok, you won't believe this. They wont talk to the kids about what happened to
Jason, or not to block off your oxygen, but my younger sister went in the
bathroom off her bedroom one day when family was visiting, she caught her step
granddaughter, age 14, getting ready to do oral sex on her boyfriend. This was
her first boyfriend, and she also let him call her "Ho". Jeesh

Oh another time, this same granddaughter, was caught smoking by her dad, who is
my sister's husband's son.  I walked in at the end of this story, he was sitting
at the dining room table telling everyone about it, laughing, when I walked in,
someone whispered "don't tell Dianna you did that", I said "What?" So I kept
after them, they finally told me after he left that when he caught her smoking,
he got so mad he held her down by the neck until she was passing  out. I can't
begin to express how sick that made me, the man knows what killed my son and you
don't do that to your kids! omg!  ~Dianna jasonsmom

Loni <lonistel@...> wrote:

>What bothers me most is that my family, sisters, and brothers who have children
who have children do not talk to their kids about this.

We have the same thing.  The strange thing is after our son died, another boy a
few months later died the same way, and goes to my neices "Christian High
School" and STILL my SIL & BIL do not think they should tell them anything cuz
it will make them curious?  Curiosity is what killed my son!  So, it stays hush
hush.

> They say I've changed. oh my! I have ?? I wonder why?

Haven't we all??  Some change is good.  Yes, we have changed.  No, I don't like
the changes we have HAD to make - my inlaws and "continue on", but we need to
grow through these changes.

OUR FAMILY:  http://www.iserv.net/~normstel/
Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.coml
BLOG:  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com/




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http://www.geocities.com/angelmomfriends4/jason1.html page 1 Welcome; page 2
Birthday; page 3 His last years and death










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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Here's a poem I've had for awhile:


  Go ahead and mention my child,
  The one that died, you know.
  Don't worry about hurting me further.
  The depth of my pain doesn't show.
  Don't worry about making me cry.
  I'm already crying inside.
  Help me to heal by releasing
  The tears that I try to hide.
  I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
  Pretending she didn't exist.
  I'd rather you mention my child,
  Knowing that she has been missed.
  You asked me how I am doing.
  I say "pretty good" or "fine."
  But healing is something ongoing.
  I feel it will take a lifetime.

  By Elizabeth Dent


OUR FAMILY:  http://www.iserv.net/~normstel/
Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.coml
BLOG:  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com/

>What bothers me most is that my family, sisters, and brothers who have children
who have children do not talk to their kids about this.

We have the same thing.  The strange thing is after our son died, another boy a
few months later died the same way, and goes to my neices "Christian High
School" and STILL my SIL & BIL do not think they should tell them anything cuz
it will make them curious?  Curiosity is what killed my son!  So, it stays hush
hush.

> They say I've changed. oh my! I have ?? I wonder why?

Haven't we all??  Some change is good.  Yes, we have changed.  No, I don't like
the changes we have HAD to make - my inlaws and "continue on", but we need to
grow through these changes.

OUR FAMILY:  http://www.iserv.net/~normstel/
Matthew's Memorial Page: http://www.matthewsstory.coml
BLOG:  http://journalingthroughthevalley.blogspot.com/