hi - i am so sorry to hear about your brother. i lost my brother jon on
5/11/09 and he also was not found for a little while (5/15/01 but it was in
savannah, georgia in the heat of May).

anyway, my sister tells people it was an accident and moves on. my dad
doesn't bring him up. my other brother doesn't either. my mom says it was an
accident and cries. i tell people it was AeA - he accidentally hung himself.
i cross my fingers they ask questions. i want people to know about AeA. my
brother died very happy. i am devastated that he is gone and miss him every
day of my life - but i do not get mad at the manner in which he died (i am
now 40. he was 36 when he died and i was 32).

best wishes to you and yours.

christy
jon's sister


In a message dated 9/28/2009 6:28:15 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
runtheyrcoming@... writes:




Hi, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I, too, lost my
brother (Jan. 09). He would have been 47 this month. I appreciate your post. I
have typically told people that he took his own life. However, I also see
how it may be easier to say that he had an accident in his home. I am still
trying to find the words. Thanks again for your post.

--- In _autoeroticasphyxiatautoeroticaautoeroticasaut_
(mailto:autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com) , "mhiddenk"
<mhiddenk@..m> wrote:
>
> Hi. I'm not sure how to do this. On April 1st (!) a police officer came
to the door saying my brother had passed away, and that I should call the
coroner's office in the county where he died. His body was found Mar 31, but
he had died at least 2-3 weeks earlier. The scene was so gruesome, one of
the investigating officers threw up. Even after "crime scene cleaners" had
completely emptied and disinfected the place, it still smelled horrible.
The death certificate reads "auto erotic asphyxiation - hanged self from
doorway with chains." Lovely. He was 60 years old. My psychiatrist said to
focus on the grief as grief, not on the circumstances; it was an accident; it
could have been an auto accident. My therapist, very cautiously, because she
did not at all want to make light of the situation, pointed out that this
activity is engaged in to heighten sexual pleasure, so my brother might
have been quite happy shortly before dying - I hadn't thought of it that way
at all, and it seems to help (I'd been thinking, oh, poor soul, why did he
think he deserved such punishment?) Hi. I'm not sure how to do&M patients,
and says it is not at all unusual for family members and even close friends
not to know of this behavior, which might be pushed to greater extremes
with the passage of time. Though the death certificate, with its horribly
blunt details, is a matter of public record, I am not yet prepared to tell most
people, even relatives except for my remaining brother, what actually
happened. I am saying that my brother suffered a bad accident at home. If
people press, I add that his body wasn't discovered for several weeks and was
in
terrible condition. If they press further, I just say it's too difficult
for me to talk about. By then I'm usually in tears, anyway. Thank you for
being here.
>







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