Thank you so much, Debra and Suzanne (and any other readers out there). It
helps so much to know I'm not alone, and that you "hear" me in a special, though
sad, way.

Debra, you ask where I live, that the death certif. was so detailed - in Calif,
near San Francisco. But maybe the police were just trying to make it clear that
they'd investigated, to make sure this was neither a suicide nor a homicide.
(The body wasn't found right away; an autopsy could not be performed.)

In most ways I'd prefer that the certif just say asphyxia, or even autoerotic
asphyxia. Let this death add to the national statistics, and maybe help deter
some youngsters from trying this type of sexual pleasure. "Hanged self from
doorway with chains" is what bothers me the most - but there, too - if putting
that here, or on the national public health statistical records, gives even one
person sufficient pause, then that's maybe one life saved (as my wise therapist
just pointed out).

Again, D & S - thanks so much for your encouraging support.

mhiddenk