Someone found this group for me. My brother Bernie,42, passed away from what I
think was AA on 9/26/08. At least, that was the day he was found. No one has
said what the real cause of death was, but I've figured it out. It wasn't hard.

My mother still won't say it and just tells anyone that asks that he had an
accident. But everything points to AA. I only recently found out that he had
cord around his neck and his hands tied behind his back. That didn't make any
sense to me, but a friend has been doing a lot of research for me.

The worst part is not being able to talk about it, even with my own family, and
my anger. I'm trying to let the anger go, but it's tough.

MAny of you have mentioned that your lost loved ones are still close. I've felt
that with Bernie, too. I know he's tried to contact me in dreams, but I get too
upset and pull away. My mom also feels him close, which I'm glad for.

I just don't know how to get through this. To those of you who have lost a
child to this, I can't imagine your pain. My son is 11 and with what I'm
learning about the choking game, I'm scared to death. He doesn't know how his
uncle died.

Anyway, I hope to learn more through this group. I'm so sorry for our sad
connection.

Deb
Bernie's sis