hi charlee,

i am so sorry to hear about josh.

i lost my brother on 5.11.01 to aea when he was 36. the first few years were
horrible for me but for my mom it was absolutely hell - still is. a mother
should not lose a child.

i now have 2 small children of my own and have a new respect for my moms
loss and for many of the moms on this site that have tragically lost their
child.

please know i have been thinking of you since your post and pray that
somehow you find the strength to talk to a professional to help you thru this.
many
towns have therapist that either work thru the state or on a sliding pay
scale so i hope the financial aspect doesn't dissuade you from looking into it.

i am very very sorry for your loss.

with love,
christy
jon's sister


In a message dated 1/24/2009 1:00:09 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
cchucky88@... writes:




My name is Charlee, last Jan 15 2008 I came home and found my son had
hanged himself, that what my shock saw, it was days later that I
discoveed the police and ME findings. needless to say I had never
heard of such a practice.... Josh was a promising headstrong young
man, he ws 19. He had suffered a very tragic loss of a close friend
and always felt guilty that he could have stoped it, so I knew he was
having trouble with this, he never seemed to be suicidle, he was a
handful yes but self destructive , he was scared to drive? what
desrtuctive kid is afraid to drive? it has been a year and I still
struggle every day trying to accept my lossI aised him alone and he
was my pal and I was the Mom that he and his friends came to when
things got sticky, I was fare and always tried to show unconditional
love and he always took up for me if he thought someone hurt me, he
was a sweet soul and everyone knew that about him, I have no choice I
have to adapt to the loss of my son the fact that I will never have
another child, Im lost in this empy space that just keeps getting
bigger,I have lost many close friends and family, a stepson from a
short marrige was shot and killed in june, he and Josh were pals they
went to school together. I cannot aford this couseling they advise,
mostly because Im such a privat person. and this is so personal to
me, I m hoping that reaching out will bring me some solice, thank you
Charlee


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