Hello Patricia,
I lost my younger brother Stan, he was 46 at the time to AeA. It has been 2
years now and this is the second Christmas with out him here with us in body
form, but as with all holidays and all days of the year he is still here,
watching over us, helping to guide us, he never lets us forget that he is still
here with us. It too has been very hard at Christmas, not sharing the joy's with
him, but he is with God now, what better Christmas could he possibly have.... I
wish I could tell you that it gets better, or that it gets easier, it has been 2
years and I still cry for him almost daily, but as long as I believe he is still
here with me, it makes it more bearable.
I am so sorry for your loss, I do know your pain, as well as everyone else on
here does. Just always think of him and talk to him, and remember him, and it
does bring some comfort. I found Stan on Holloween, which makes for a very
horrible holiday at halloween, I still can not bear to see the holloween
decorations that people put in their yards, so I pretty much become a recluse
that time of year.
I dont think anyone will understand why someone does such a thing, I'm sure at
Stans age he was aware of the dangers, but I'm sure none of them think they will
actually die this way, and I'm sure Stan never ment to hurt any of us, and never
thought this would happen to him. He moved here to the town I live in "to be
closer to his big sister" so all I can do now is be thankful that he spent his
last days here with me, it took a long time for me to get over my anger and
forgive him, and now that I have, I see and hear him everywhere I go, I believe
that is the first step of "feeling normal" again is to forgive them for their
weakness, Then life begins again.
I wish you all the best in your grieving,it is hard, Never forget to talk to
him, talk to him daily, something as simple as Good morning when you wake up,
makes the days easier, I had to look past the way he died,and just remember Stan
as the person we all knew, not the dark side we knew nothing about. Again, the
first step is forgiveness.
Cindy

patohappy1@... wrote:
hello everybody in AEA SUPPORT, I just want to tell you all how
difficult is
my first Christmas without my best friend Stephen who past away from AEA in
February 2008, I am feeling to much pain at the moment and nobody around who
know exactly how the reality of this situation was, I hope one day I
understand AEA or the mentality of the people doing that to give myself some
peace,
it is so hard to go buy my Chistmas presents but nothing for him this time and
never again, to many beautiful cards but I don't need one anymore for him
anymore and never again , I am sorry my first languaje not is english and I am
with you all now and in this time of the year and forever, and happy
Chritsmas, I DID MY CHRISTMAS DINNER last Sunday and I think he is very proud of
me
at the moment because I promised myself this year no christmas in my house but
I DID by recommendation of a very nice friend, enjoy this time with the
people you love, life is too short, bye, Patricia.

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