Tuck,
Yes, it does get better, but it is a long and difficult process to go
through. My son and only child would have been 30 yesterday (10/13)
and back on May 21, he was gone 10 years. Approaching that decade
mark was nearly as hard as the year he died. I fell apart often and
still cannot believe I'm still here when my son is gone. No other
children and no grandchildren--ever. All of our friends and those
who surround us are people who never met him and if not for our
mention of him, they would never know he existed in this world. They
are all grandparents so we really haven't fit in anywhere in the
world we once knew since the day Colin left us. BUT, we have found
some peace in helping others cope with their losses and in writing
poetry, singing and in realizing that Colin is in the loving arms of
Jesus forever. Someday we will see him again. That is the blessed
hope we live for. Yes, you do want your life back. We all do. Even
after 10 years, if given even the opportunity to die in his place so
that a handsome and talented young man could have had a life--yes,
mom would do it without any hesitation whatsoever. BUT, those are
not the options we are given. So we grieve and slowly over time, we
find healing. And we reach out to each other. My son gave me the
best and most caring and loyal friends I've ever known. Those we've
met in this journey are far deeper people than any we knew before.
They will hold us and pray with us and be there no matter what
because they know they can expect the same from us. There are no
shortcuts to this--just live each day as it comes and slowly the
beauty of who your husband is will shine up from the ashes of what's
gone. You will survive and eventually heal. Take heart, you are not
alone; and when you need people come back to this site and cry out.
We hear more than your words--we hear your heart. God bless, you are
in tonight's thoughts and prayers.
Gala Simpson
Colin's mom


--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, "tuck_1964"
<tuck_1964@...> wrote:
>
> Hi everyone,
>
> I haven't written in quite a while but I have been reading. I'm
so
> sorry to the new people....I know your pain and shock.
> I lost my husband Dec. 2/07 he was 38. What a shock...a friend
found
> him in the house. This month is our wedding anniversary. It would
> have been 15 years. I can't imagine getting through that day! And I
> can't stop thinking about it. I just want him and our lives back.
I
> know that won't happen but I still pray for a miracle or for me to
wake
> from this horrible nightmare. Even though I love and miss him very
> much...I still have anger for what he did. Will this ever get any
> easier. I am on meds and I do see a therapist...but sometimes
talking
> to someone who has been through it....is the best!! Any advice???
>
> Take care and I think of you all.
>
> Tuck
>