I cant speak for wives who are left to deal with this. but I can
tell you about the guilt and denial. when my son was found I had
(and still do have) overwhelming guilt! I feel I should have known,
I was a stay at home mom, he died in our home. how did I not know? I
spent a lot of time with him, we talked all the time, how did I not
know? what your feeling is normal. this was 6 years ago, and I still
feel guilty about it. people tell me all the time its wrong to feel
that way, (people who dont know what grief is) but how can you not?
besides, I dont think any feelings regarding grief can be wrong. its
whats in your heart.
the denial part will pass. that takes a while. everyday at 3 i would
look out the window for Steve to come home from school. at dinner I
would call him down. after a while I sort of realized he wasnt
coming in the door anymore.
I had flashbacks of that day for a good 2 years? some were worse
then what we really saw. I still get them, they just arent right
there in front of me all the time. now they come, knock the wind out
of me, and go. I miss him so much, the ache is hard, but I'm so
thankful I had him. I would do it all over again too.
you are mourning him, but you also have trauma to deal with. its ok
to acknowledge it and let it come. its absolutely normal. stick it
out with therapy, its a huge help to be able to let it out with a
trained professional.

Carol


--- In autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com, "tuck_1964"
<tuck_1964@...> wrote:
>
> I am wondering if all of you have had these feelings and how you
> dealt. I can't help but feel guilty that I did not know and I am
still
> in denial that he is really gone.
> I lost my husband to AeA Dec. 2,2007, I know its still fresh but I
am
> still hoping it's all a bad bad dream.
> When will these feelings subside? (If ever)
> I feel I can't properly mourn his loss because I can't get past
the
> ACCIDENT. Is this normal in the beginning? I am seeing a
therapist
> but I have only had 2 visits so hard to tell if it's helping.
> But at least I can bare my soul.
> Any help would be greatly appreciated, or if anyone would just
like to
> talk further about our situations that would HELP alot!
>
> Thanks for reading. Thinking about all of you.
>