To Philipp.linda@...

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From: "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com"
<autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com>
To: autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sunday, January 20, 2008 5:27:15 AM
Subject: [Autoerotic Asphyxiation Support] Digest Number 1151

There is 1 message in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1a. Re: When does one start to feel better....
From: MeLinda Beasley


Message
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1a. Re: When does one start to feel better....
Posted by: "MeLinda Beasley" melbea2000@... melbea2000
Date: Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:32 am ((PST))

There is light, but I can't say "at the end of the tunnel", because
unfortunately this is something you will live with forever. It will get easier
and there will be joys and laughter again. You have your wonderful sons and
they will need you. They need to understand that their father was neither
mentally ill nor did he mean to leave them. He loves them and you and would
never do anything if he thought he would cause them pain. He like hundreds of
others do this stupid thing thinking there is no danger and they will survive.
I can only imagine their surprise and pain when they realize they have died and
left their loved ones behind.
I think you are very wise to fire the stupid therapist!! Keep changing until
you find the right one to help all of you. I went through 3 different ones
before I found a woman that has helped me.
Remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no timeline you
must keep. People that think you should be over it by now are fools!!
One last thing keep in touch with this site. It saved my life more than once.
Never be afriad to vent your anger, your tears, your pain or whatever you are
feeling.

Wishing you peace,
MeLinda
Neal Beasley 6/30/86 - 6/22/03


"philipp.linda" <philipp.linda@...> wrote:
I received a promotion at work left Thursday morning for a Plant
tour, I kissed my husband and soulmate of 22 years goodbye and see
you tomorrow...to get things ready for my Labor Day/and my Birthday
party.
All was well, spoke to him on the phone twice and he told me he loved
me and would see me Friday. Friday, at breakfast and my oldest son
(21) called my cell and was screaming to get my ass home Dad had
killed himself. I was is shock ...not my husband, after several
frantic calls to nieghbors and relatives I found out it was
true...but it wasn't suicide but AeA. I have 2 sons 21 and 15. The 21
discovered his body and told the yougest to stay out, but he didn't
and now the last image of their father is one NO-ONE should have
seen, let alone their dad.
After the horrible shock, pulling over and to let me throw up 3 hour
ride back home, I arrived to see all family around. The boys who ran
to me and asked why?? How does one respond to something she does not
understand. I am fighting to save the remaining 3 of us, but some
days I think what is the point...I miss him so very,very much and how
can I go on and live a life again? We met young, married young and
built our lives together. I feel like we were a twisted baked pretzel
and now I need to know how to unwind myself from my other half
without breaking.

We are all on anti depressants and are seeing therapists and
Phycs. ...but they haven't had much help, one called my husband
mentally ill, one called it suicide...I found new therapists but for
now it seems we still are reliving 8/31/07. Over and over again. We
survived Christmas but there was no joy, just sorrow. Our 23 Wedding
anniversary was pure hell and I am running out of energy and just
want to curl up and forget the world exists...Please tell me that
there is light at the end of the tunnel, for I see nothing but
blackness.






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