this is such a hard thing to go through. not only hiding what happened,
which most of us have all done to an extent (family and close friends
knew, but mostly anyone I've met recently doesn't know the truth), but
not understanding as well. on top of all the other things associated
with this wonderful grief cycle. to be honest, it took me about a year
n a half before I felt like I WANTED to live again. before I finally
started feeling like "me" again. it takes a LONG time. but you will be
okay, just hang in there. take everything a day at a time and don't
worry about things you don't have to. if you can put something off, do
it. I suggest a sit like this to all the newbies that lost husbands, I
found a widows site www.widowstooyoung.com that I just love. it has
nothing to do with AEA like this does, but has helped so much. the
people there are just wonderful, and there are people 6 years out, and
just a month or two out. don't worry about what others tell you
(because all of us there have gotten the you should be over him by now"
or "it's time to move on with your life")...do what you have to do in
YOUR time, no matter what that is. I can't tell you how many nights I
spent SCREAMING at god, or bryce...well, my cieling, but it helped.
hope your doing alright, and if yOu need someone to talk to I'm here.