Hi Linda

First of all I am so very sorry for you all. I know exactly how you feel, and
whatsmore completely sympathise with your sons - I was 19 years old when, on
August 22nd, 1984, I found my dearest father dead due to an AEA accident in our
home in Scotland. We had no idea he played such dangerous games. I will never
forget what I saw and it has taken me years of being strong to completely get
over it. All one can do is try to accept what happened and not to blame the
person - they didn't mean to do it - they were just playing a "game" that went
wrong.

For ten years I couldn't talk about what happened and just tried to get on with
life. The best advice I can give is not to keep it inside - I know it's very
difficult and it's embarassing too, but all three of you should not try to hide
the way your husband died. I don't mean that everyone has to know, but at least
talk to a therapist or someone so that all feelings can be got out and not all
locked inside, like mine were for far too long.

Please feel free to write to me, either you or your sons should you think I may
be able to provide any support or advice.

I only found this support group last year, and I am so glad to have met other
people, allbeit "online", who have also tragically suffered a similar
bereavement to mine (until I found this support group I felt like my Mum and I
were the only ones in the world who had suffered such fate, but it is somewhat
of a comfort to know that others, sadly, have too).

With love and sympathy

Tony Randell


----- Original Message ----
From: "autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com"
<autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com>
To: autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, 16 January, 2008 12:21:52 PM
Subject: [Autoerotic Asphyxiation Support] Digest Number 1149

Support for Family of AeA Victims
Messages In This Digest (4 Messages)
1a. When does one start to feel better.... From: philipp.linda
1b. Re: When does one start to feel better.... From: Carol
1c. Re: When does one start to feel better.... From: wendy watson
2a. Re: Looking for a bit of advice From: christy86m@...
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1a. When does one start to feel better....
Posted by: "philipp.linda" philipp.linda@... philipp.linda
Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:31 am (PST)
I received a promotion at work left Thursday morning for a Plant
tour, I kissed my husband and soulmate of 22 years goodbye and see
you tomorrow...to get things ready for my Labor Day/and my Birthday
party.
All was well, spoke to him on the phone twice and he told me he loved
me and would see me Friday. Friday, at breakfast and my oldest son
(21) called my cell and was screaming to get my ass home Dad had
killed himself. I was is shock ...not my husband, after several
frantic calls to nieghbors and relatives I found out it was
true...but it wasn't suicide but AeA. I have 2 sons 21 and 15. The 21
discovered his body and told the yougest to stay out, but he didn't
and now the last image of their father is one NO-ONE should have
seen, let alone their dad.
After the horrible shock, pulling over and to let me throw up 3 hour
ride back home, I arrived to see all family around. The boys who ran
to me and asked why?? How does one respond to something she does not
understand. I am fighting to save the remaining 3 of us, but some
days I think what is the point...I miss him so very,very much and how
can I go on and live a life again? We met young, married young and
built our lives together. I feel like we were a twisted baked pretzel
and now I need to know how to unwind myself from my other half
without breaking.

We are all on anti depressants and are seeing therapists and
Phycs. ...but they haven't had much help, one called my husband
mentally ill, one called it suicide...I found new therapists but for
now it seems we still are reliving 8/31/07. Over and over again. We
survived Christmas but there was no joy, just sorrow. Our 23 Wedding
anniversary was pure hell and I am running out of energy and just
want to curl up and forget the world exists...Please tell me that
there is light at the end of the tunnel, for I see nothing but
blackness.


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Messages in this topic (3)
1b. Re: When does one start to feel better....
Posted by: "Carol" sixcons@... queenmotherof4
Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:40 am (PST)
Linda,
I'm sorry about your husband. you asked if there is light? yea there
is, but it takes a lot of time to see it. of course its different
for everyone, but just know that there is a light there. some days
will be easier then others and eventually the easier days come more
and more often. Holidays are never easy, neither are birthdays,
anniversaries, or any date with significant meaning. just know that
you arent alone. all of us have the same horror stories and we've
all made it.

ah, the same therapist story a lot of us have had. I finally found
one that deals with teenagers only. he is also well versed in AeA
addiction. he was a god send!!

take it one day at a time, your going to make it and so are your
children.
Carol

--- In
autoeroticasphyxiat ionsupport@ yahoogroups. com, "philipp.linda"
<philipp.linda@ ...> wrote:
>
> I received a promotion at work left Thursday morning for a Plant
> tour, I kissed my husband and soulmate of 22 years goodbye and see
> you tomorrow...to get things ready for my Labor Day/and my
Birthday
> party.
> All was well, spoke to him on the phone twice and he told me he
loved
> me and would see me Friday. Friday, at breakfast and my oldest
son
> (21) called my cell and was screaming to get my ass home Dad had
> killed himself. I was is shock ...not my husband, after several
> frantic calls to nieghbors and relatives I found out it was
> true...but it wasn't suicide but AeA. I have 2 sons 21 and 15. The
21
> discovered his body and told the yougest to stay out, but he
didn't
> and now the last image of their father is one NO-ONE should have
> seen, let alone their dad.
> After the horrible shock, pulling over and to let me throw up 3
hour
> ride back home, I arrived to see all family around. The boys who
ran
> to me and asked why?? How does one respond to something she does
not
> understand. I am fighting to save the remaining 3 of us, but some
> days I think what is the point...I miss him so very,very much and
how
> can I go on and live a life again? We met young, married young and
> built our lives together. I feel like we were a twisted baked
pretzel
> and now I need to know how to unwind myself from my other half
> without breaking.
>
> We are all on anti depressants and are seeing therapists and
> Phycs. ...but they haven't had much help, one called my husband
> mentally ill, one called it suicide...I found new therapists but
for
> now it seems we still are reliving 8/31/07. Over and over again.
We
> survived Christmas but there was no joy, just sorrow. Our 23
Wedding
> anniversary was pure hell and I am running out of energy and just
> want to curl up and forget the world exists...Please tell me that
> there is light at the end of the tunnel, for I see nothing but
> blackness.
>


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Messages in this topic (3)
1c. Re: When does one start to feel better....
Posted by: "wendy watson" charlietigger@... charlietigger
Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:21 am (PST)
You need to keep going and that is the hardest thing that you will do. I too
lost my precious husband and thought that I would die from the pain that I felt
in my heart. (and still do) I have come to realise that I need to carry on
because of the love that I shared with Paul. Your husband did not intend to
leave you, I am sure of that. I am not sure of what made our husbands do what
they did; I think that we have to accept that as being part of who they were. I
am so sorry. Wendy

"philipp.linda" <philipp.linda@ yahoo.com> wrote: I received a promotion at work
left Thursday morning for a Plant
tour, I kissed my husband and soulmate of 22 years goodbye and see
you tomorrow...to get things ready for my Labor Day/and my Birthday
party.
All was well, spoke to him on the phone twice and he told me he loved
me and would see me Friday. Friday, at breakfast and my oldest son
(21) called my cell and was screaming to get my ass home Dad had
killed himself. I was is shock ...not my husband, after several
frantic calls to nieghbors and relatives I found out it was
true...but it wasn't suicide but AeA. I have 2 sons 21 and 15. The 21
discovered his body and told the yougest to stay out, but he didn't
and now the last image of their father is one NO-ONE should have
seen, let alone their dad.
After the horrible shock, pulling over and to let me throw up 3 hour
ride back home, I arrived to see all family around. The boys who ran
to me and asked why?? How does one respond to something she does not
understand. I am fighting to save the remaining 3 of us, but some
days I think what is the point...I miss him so very,very much and how
can I go on and live a life again? We met young, married young and
built our lives together. I feel like we were a twisted baked pretzel
and now I need to know how to unwind myself from my other half
without breaking.

We are all on anti depressants and are seeing therapists and
Phycs. ...but they haven't had much help, one called my husband
mentally ill, one called it suicide...I found new therapists but for
now it seems we still are reliving 8/31/07. Over and over again. We
survived Christmas but there was no joy, just sorrow. Our 23 Wedding
anniversary was pure hell and I am running out of energy and just
want to curl up and forget the world exists...Please tell me that
there is light at the end of the tunnel, for I see nothing but
blackness.

------------ --------- --------- ---
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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Messages in this topic (3)
2a. Re: Looking for a bit of advice
Posted by: "christy86m@..." christy86m@... christy86m
Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:27 pm (PST)

In a message dated 12/14/2007 12:03:35 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
cindyallsman@ yahoo.com writes:

I don't know if you remember me or not it has been a long time since I have
been here also, I lost my brother Stan ON HALLOWEEN He actually died on Oct
28, but I did not find him until the 31st

hi cindy - of course i remember you! i am sorry i am a little behind on
responding to my emails!! sorry!!

jon died on 5.11.01 and wasn't found until 5.15.01 so i know what you mean
regarding the delay in finding him/appearance. i imagine it sucks whether it
was an hour or days that have passed but i have a very special place in my
prayers for those of you that actually found your loved ones. jon was living in
savannah at the time that he died and i live in ohio. his coworkers found him,
called his pastor who called my mom's pastor in florida - it was all down
hill from there:(

love to you,
christy

************ **Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body. aol.com/fitness/ winter-exercise? NCID=aolcmp00300 000002489

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