Hello Melinda, I have not been on here in a long time, in the beginning it
seemed helpful reading everyones experiences, then it became unbearable, my
brother Stan's birthday is coming up august 20, he would be 47. It will soon
also be a year since his death, and it still seems as if it was just yesterday,
the pain is just as great today as it was then, espicially since his birthday is
right around the corner. I still talk to him everyday, and still cry almost
daily, and I am having more and more little breakdowns, shouldnt it be getting
easier instead of harder? I used to go see Mom on a regular basis, and used to
call her 4 to 5 times a week, now I have only went to see her 4 times in the
last year and have to force myself to call her, she still thinks he just had a
heart attack, and I just cant bear the lie we have told her, I am so afraid I
will slip and tell her the truth, the guilt I belileve is what has put this void
between my Mom and me, I cant stand the guilt of
lying to her. I know we have to protect her but doesnt she have the right to
know how her only son died? I need advice as to how to celebrate his birthday, I
know I have to get out of bed that day and treat it as any other day.... it will
be his first birthday since he is gone and I just dont know what to do....
I feel sometimes it is so petty being so lost, when he was just my brother,
when most of the people on here lost a child or husband, but my love for him was
just as great.
how does everone else handle the birthdays of the ones they have lost/
Cindy

MeLinda Beasley <melbea2000@...> wrote:
Colleen,
My birthday is August 6th.
My son Neal died a week before his 17th birthday. I'm always amazed that so many
of our loved ones died close to their birthdays!!
MeLinda

Colleen Cordeiro <powderedsugar41@...> wrote:
Hi Lyn,
I think the worst part for most of us are all the unanswered questions we all
have to live the rest of our lives with, and of course having to go on without
them.
My son turned 22 on 8/6/04 just three days before. I have no answers, guess God
will tell me someday.
Love
Colleen

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