Hi

My name is Jackie ,, and I am the mother of 2 small children, and last october
28 my husband passed away due to AEA . I found him naked and tied up in a
closet of the new house we had just bought. He had a cocaine problem at the
time, but NOTHING will ever explain this to me. I have no clue where it came
from and cant give you any practical advice about dealing with it. But I do
know that you are not alone in your confusion and anger.. I ask myself everyday
" why didnt I see this" all the signs were there I just didnt have the ability
to see them at the time and now that they are black and white to me I want to
kick myself everyday. I have accepted that I will never know why , but I do
know one day when I am together again I will get the answers. I also know one
more thing ,, he did not intend to do what he did. I know that sounds stupid
right now and you probably want to go DUH , but I know that he is remorseful in
heaven and he is tortured that he cant be with his children as they grow up.
Your friend may or may not have had a "problem" with this , he may have just
been trying it, but dont wear yourself out asking why because the answers just
are not going to come.

I am always here if you want to talk

Jackie
----- Original Message -----
From: ftrauthor05
To: autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 12:10 AM
Subject: [Autoerotic Asphyxiation Support] unsure


One of my best friends killed himself a little over a year ago. I knew
he hung himself by accident, but I didn't find out any specifics
regarding why or anything until just a few days ago, but it was AEA.
Now I'm really struggling all over again. I was doing pretty well with
dealing with his death for a while there, or so I thought. It seems
like he's died all over again, though. I don't really know what to
think or do or anything. I'm angry, some, I guess, but really just
full of "why?" and tears. If anyone can help me, I'd really appreciate
it. I'm away from home, and I don't really have anyone to talk to. Thanks.





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