Susan,
My husband (52) was found in our bedroom closet by my children (14 and 17)
and me. I know EXACTLY what you are going through!

Have you told anyone what actually happened, or do most people think it was
something else? The one thing I would advise is to get a close friend or
two that you can confide in and give them the details. You NEED to talk and
grip and cry and bounce your ideas about the future off of others. (atleast
I did) I had such a wonderful response from most of my friends that I
confided in. One was a bit cool after I told her, but warmed up after a few
days when she could digest all that I told her. I would advise counseling,
however, it was not as effective for me as discussing with my friends. My
children are still reeling. We did go to 3 different counselors trying to
find the "right fit", however my children rejected the help. You can take a
horse to water but you can't make him drink! They are now 16 and 19 and
seem to the world like normal teens, but I see their pain. Sadly, it
sometimes takes many years to come to terms with this. I have a deep faith
and pray every day that this horror will be used for good in their lives and
that they will be emotionally healed someday from the trauma. I tried my
best and failed to "heal" them, so it is now up to God.

If you are having problems yourself just coping with life, sleeping,
concentrating at work, then get some medication. My dr. was very
compassionate and I took a couple different meds to help me cope and get
through the days for that first year. I was so scared that I was going to
become dependent on drugs, but it didn't happen. Once you begin to bounce
back a bit, you can scale back. It worked for me.

You do need legal help about the business. Take a trusted friend with
you...someone who has your best interest in mind and is thinking clearly.
That is a BIG decision that you don't want to make when you aren't at your
best!! Yes, our husbands unthinkingly leave us with a tremendous MESS! It
takes time to sort it through. Don't give up...do ask for help.

I'm So sorry Susan. None of us ever expected to be here on this web site,
but I'm SO thankful that it is here. It helped me tremendously to know that
others survived what I was walking through. I wish you the best, will pray
for you and continue to "talk" if you need it.

Sadly, Charlotte

----- Original Message -----
From: "geckogal36" <geckogal36@...>
To: <autoeroticasphyxiationsupport@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 5:43 AM
Subject: [Autoerotic Asphyxiation Support] My husband


>
> Hello,
>
> I guess I really don't know where to start. My husband, Allen (41),
> died May 7, due to auto-erotic asphixiation. I didn't even know what
> it was! We had been together for 13 years and I still don't
> understand. We had had a great relationship (in my mind). When I got
> the phone call from my son (15) that my husband was in the basement,
> tied up, I thought it was a break-in. My son came home from school and
> found him. I cannot believe he is gone, let alone accept it. He left
> me with a business I have no idea how to run and I work full time as a
> banker. I am close to the end of my "rope" so to speak. Can ANYONE
> give me some kind of constructive advice?!
>
> Please help
> susan
>
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>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
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