Mark,
For sure I know the feeling.
Right now I'm about to graduate from grad school but still working retail.

On one hand, as an Aspie, I consider myself lucky to have a job where I have
social interaction (IE not pure isolated assembly-line type work).

On the other hand, I feel when I earn an award well deserve my efforts are
cut in half...as if a higher power is slapping me on the wrist for challenging
my fate and attempting to "be my own G-d".

I can imagine at KINKO's when you are the greeter some people may say "thank
you...how are you?" but in such a fabricated way that part of you thinks "that
fabricated attitude must be a punishment for being in the position I am without
being so natural at it as a stereotypical greeter may be"

Customers kinda seem to say "thanks for your help but, let's get real, you
don't look like the type to be doing this job...so instead of giving your boss a
customer comment toward your name I'll just give you the gift of letting you off
the hook for doing a job that's 'out of your league' "

Just a reflection...as an Aspie, knowing about the world but unable to act in
it near my potential, I feel "damned" in a way...like I haven't, and never will,
be able to give very well to society and, thus, am headed toward a dismal
afterlife. This comes up in dreams all too often to me as well...the constant
challenge of how to be a good/strong person, rather than a relatively
useless/"non-existent" one.

I know, sounds kind of Puritan, but do any of the rest of you feel the same way?


Mark Panitz <mrpanitz@...> wrote: Hello I
have Aspergers and here's something I want
to know
I work for Fedex Kinkos and one of the more important
jobs is to be the Greeter but when I'm the Greeter
I seem to think I'm being punished or penalized for
something I did..
does anyone else have this same feeling?
sometimes I even get upset because of this feeling






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