i post a lot about my relationship problems and mention my girlfriends

contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This is about me ,

when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like i want the

person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and forget that im

dealing with someone i love and at times become very mean with my

actions and words and when its over typically im remorceful,very

remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed this hateful

rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real tired of playing

that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out. I want to be a

good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this vicious nastyness

in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to start healing and

changing , someone please help.

The way I found my way back, I started to make time for the childhood I didn't

get either, cause of my mom.  Someone showed me crayons (a little girl thing or

my artistic side?????) and I went from there.  I didn't need much (ive always

been a flower child), but it kick started what I needed as a child (??????) to

have a happy life.??????maybe??????

 

What did you do that was fun as a child?  If like me, you have no memory, find

out what we should be able to do, to learn what joy is?  All those little things

that people think girls like???dolls, pretend house,

etc.........yuke!!!..........lol............didn't work for me.  But the crayons

did???????

 

I don't understand it either...lol..........but it did.......lol. (perhaps your

little boys can show you the way?)  Depending on your age........maybe video

games????? 

 

Some thing that triggers that endorphins, and then you can remember how to turn

that on and off without actually doing the activity.  That does work for

me....(someone keeps telling me, exercise will do the same -endorphins = joy)



 Volunteers don't necessarily have the time:

they just have the heart.

author unknown









________________________________

From: Dale <dhdmidnight96@...>

To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:44:09 PM

Subject: [angertoolbox support group] the truth



i post a lot about my relationship problems and mention my girlfriends

contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This is about me ,

when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like i want the

person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and forget that im

dealing with someone i love and at times become very mean with my

actions and words and when its over typically im remorceful,very

remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed this hateful

rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real tired of playing

that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out. I want to be a

good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this vicious nastyness

in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to start healing and

changing , someone please help.





------------------------------------



Panic Attacks cannot harm you!



Get our ebook on how to manage

panic attacks for no charge.

This ebook on Panic will help

you and your child understand

what and why Panic Attacks occur

and how to cope with them.



Take charge of your Panic Attacks now at



http://www.parentingtoolbox.com/nopanic.pdf

Yahoo! Groups Links













[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I appreciate your  help. Trying to let go of rage is hard. I know for me the

best thing to do is to try not to justify it. Also, I have to hang around as

many positive people as I can. I myself am glad I am not  married, because I can

take time on my own to fix this problem.



I also can hopefully hang around people that I know I can respect. I know part

of my rage comes in making decisions that cause me to hate myself and sometimes

I take out that hate on others.



I realize if I am not happy with the way I am living my life I cannot change

anyone else. I think for me the rage comes when I realize I am not happy in a

situation, and instead of just letting it go (which is very hard to do) I try to

hang on.



I try to hang on hoping the other will comly with my wishes. When they don't it

upsets me. However, I realize mostly what is upsetting is the possibility that I

may have to be alone for awhile if I am not happy with myself or my partner.



That is what I am struggling with right now. I am not saying my partner is to

blame. Nor am I saying that another person can make me happy.



However, if I am trying to change my behavior and the other person doesn't

believe in me it is harder to change. I myself have decided I have to do this on

my own by my self. I find it hard to be around people who do'nt believe in  me.



I think those are the type of people that are most detrimental to my recovery.



 











________________________________

From: Dale <dhdmidnight96@...>

To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 3:44:09 PM

Subject: [angertoolbox support group] the truth





i post a lot about my relationship problems and mention my girlfriends

contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This is about me ,

when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like i want the

person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and forget that im

dealing with someone i love and at times become very mean with my

actions and words and when its over typically im remorceful,very

remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed this hateful

rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real tired of playing

that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out. I want to be a

good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this vicious nastyness

in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to start healing and

changing , someone please help.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

thanks,im just using evey avenue i can, prayer,books,etc anything to help my

mind slow down and stay aware that i need to change the way i think. when i was

first getting sober i soaked up all the knowledge i could because i was so

scared that i would return to drugs and alcohol and now i feel the same way

about returning to the way ive always been , angry and controling , one day at i

time. it was kinda cool last night being able to see and listen to my girlfriend

and really see her and really listen it was nice to get a glimpse into her

heart. God im terrified i dont want to go back to yesterday,easy does it they

say, love to all of you



--- On Mon, 1/5/09, Fishtail1776 (Julie) <jbparticipant@...> wrote:



From: Fishtail1776 (Julie) <jbparticipant@...>

Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] the truth

To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com

Date: Monday, January 5, 2009, 10:09 PM













I appreciate your  help. Trying to let go of rage is hard. I know for me the

best thing to do is to try not to justify it. Also, I have to hang around as

many positive people as I can. I myself am glad I am not  married, because I can

take time on my own to fix this problem.



I also can hopefully hang around people that I know I can respect. I know part

of my rage comes in making decisions that cause me to hate myself and sometimes

I take out that hate on others.



I realize if I am not happy with the way I am living my life I cannot change

anyone else. I think for me the rage comes when I realize I am not happy in a

situation, and instead of just letting it go (which is very hard to do) I try to

hang on.



I try to hang on hoping the other will comly with my wishes. When they don't it

upsets me. However, I realize mostly what is upsetting is the possibility that I

may have to be alone for awhile if I am not happy with myself or my partner.



That is what I am struggling with right now. I am not saying my partner is to

blame. Nor am I saying that another person can make me happy.



However, if I am trying to change my behavior and the other person doesn't

believe in me it is harder to change. I myself have decided I have to do this on

my own by my self. I find it hard to be around people who do'nt believe in  me.



I think those are the type of people that are most detrimental to my recovery.



 



____________ _________ _________ __

From: Dale <dhdmidnight96@ yahoo.com>

To: angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 3:44:09 PM

Subject: [angertoolbox support group] the truth



i post a lot about my relationship problems and mention my girlfriends

contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This is about me ,

when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like i want the

person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and forget that im

dealing with someone i love and at times become very mean with my

actions and words and when its over typically im remorceful,very

remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed this hateful

rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real tired of playing

that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out. I want to be a

good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this vicious nastyness

in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to start healing and

changing , someone please help.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi there I just got to read your plea for help with your problem, I was

with a lady last week who has so far helped me alot with feelings of

resentment which turn into anger and continue to feel that way until i

feel justice has been served, which as we all know is just plain silly

and so I have taken her advice which has seemed to help me over the last

few days. when I feel someone is talking about me I try to send out a

positive image from me, the lady told me what I give out I will get back

tenfold, so when a negative thought comes into my head I knock it

straight out and think positive thoughts and really it works, also I try

just stay in the now, because what has happened cannot be undone, and

there is little point in looking back with regrets and looking to the

future with fear is not good either so here in the now is the best place

to be and deal with that as it comes because I know I cannot control the

future so I can control the now to a certain degree. I hope I have

helped you in some small way, always remember live in the now. Goodluck

to you this comes to you with many Irish blessings !!!

--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, "Dale" <dhdmidnight96@...> wrote:

>

> i post a lot about my relationship problems and mention my girlfriends

> contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This is about me ,

> when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like i want the

> person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and forget that im

> dealing with someone i love and at times become very mean with my

> actions and words and when its over typically im remorceful,very

> remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed this hateful

> rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real tired of playing

> that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out. I want to be a

> good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this vicious nastyness

> in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to start healing

and

> changing , someone please help.

>







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Quality!  I cant focus on much since my accident (too long of a story to tell -

I died six times that nite n things r VERY different NOW) - I get caught up

in the NOW... Because I cant remember much about when I change thoughts/ideas -

At some point I started typin notes in my BlackBerry, Bot a really cool GPS and

have a Watch for the date n time.



Unfortunately, MY type of being in the now sux - I do nothing cuz I figure Im

gunna forget it anyway. Why bother putting out the effort n breaking a sweat

when Im gunna be soar or tired and generally forget why.



Im not playin Roulette any morr cuz I saw DeerHunter and, since my last wreck I

feel invincible, I dont wanna survive a big dent in the head again. And it'll

increase the odds on the game of 'Memory Lottery' that I dont win that often.



I have no regret, no hope and no attn span - So stay in bed till something in me

says get up -



Why Bother

Nway



**********************************************

See I got Us all figured out, we're just a dying breed

Take me Im not much for living, I count the passing days

**********************************************







--- On Fri, 1/16/09, annekir65 <annekir65@...> wrote:



> From: annekir65 <annekir65@...>

> Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: the truth

> To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com

> Date: Friday, January 16, 2009, 7:43 PM

> Hi there I just got to read your plea for help with your

> problem, I was

> with a lady last week who has so far helped me alot with

> feelings of

> resentment which turn into anger and continue to feel that

> way until i

> feel justice has been served, which as we all know is just

> plain silly

> and so I have taken her advice which has seemed to help me

> over the last

> few days. when I feel someone is talking about me I try to

> send out a

> positive image from me, the lady told me what I give out I

> will get back

> tenfold, so when a negative thought comes into my head I

> knock it

> straight out and think positive thoughts and really it

> works, also I try

> just stay in the now, because what has happened cannot be

> undone, and

> there is little point in looking back with regrets and

> looking to the

> future with fear is not good either so here in the now is

> the best place

> to be and deal with that as it comes because I know I

> cannot control the

> future so I can control the now to a certain degree. I hope

> I have

> helped you in some small way, always remember live in the

> now. Goodluck

> to you this comes to you with many Irish blessings !!!

> --- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, "Dale"

> <dhdmidnight96@...> wrote:

> >

> > i post a lot about my relationship problems and

> mention my girlfriends

> > contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This

> is about me ,

> > when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like

> i want the

> > person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and

> forget that im

> > dealing with someone i love and at times become very

> mean with my

> > actions and words and when its over typically im

> remorceful,very

> > remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed

> this hateful

> > rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real

> tired of playing

> > that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out.

> I want to be a

> > good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this

> vicious nastyness

> > in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to

> start healing

> and

> > changing , someone please help.

> >

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi there just wondering if i understand what you are actually saying there, are

you saying that you have done some serious damage to yourself and are now

disabled ? or are you speaking figuritively? I hope you are speaking

figuritively.I saw the deer hunter and everytime I watch it I hope Christopher

Walken stops in time ! We have been watching the Obama inaugeration on T.V. he

certainly has the attention of the whole world at the minute hope things go well

for him. good luck to you for now. 



--- On Mon, 19/1/09, Noah Hathaway <bamarjemarvisty@...> wrote:



From: Noah Hathaway <bamarjemarvisty@...>

Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] Re: the truth

To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com

Date: Monday, 19 January, 2009, 2:56 PM













Quality! I cant focus on much since my accident (too long of a story to tell - I

died six times that nite n things r VERY different NOW) - I get caught up

in the NOW... Because I cant remember much about when I change thoughts/ideas -

At some point I started typin notes in my BlackBerry, Bot a really cool GPS and

have a Watch for the date n time.



Unfortunately, MY type of being in the now sux - I do nothing cuz I figure Im

gunna forget it anyway. Why bother putting out the effort n breaking a sweat

when Im gunna be soar or tired and generally forget why.



Im not playin Roulette any morr cuz I saw DeerHunter and, since my last wreck I

feel invincible, I dont wanna survive a big dent in the head again. And it'll

increase the odds on the game of 'Memory Lottery' that I dont win that often.



I have no regret, no hope and no attn span - So stay in bed till something in me

says get up -



Why Bother

Nway



************ ********* ********* ********* *******

See I got Us all figured out, we're just a dying breed

Take me Im not much for living, I count the passing days

************ ********* ********* ********* *******



--- On Fri, 1/16/09, annekir65 <annekir65@yahoo. com> wrote:



> From: annekir65 <annekir65@yahoo. com>

> Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: the truth

> To: angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Friday, January 16, 2009, 7:43 PM

> Hi there I just got to read your plea for help with your

> problem, I was

> with a lady last week who has so far helped me alot with

> feelings of

> resentment which turn into anger and continue to feel that

> way until i

> feel justice has been served, which as we all know is just

> plain silly

> and so I have taken her advice which has seemed to help me

> over the last

> few days. when I feel someone is talking about me I try to

> send out a

> positive image from me, the lady told me what I give out I

> will get back

> tenfold, so when a negative thought comes into my head I

> knock it

> straight out and think positive thoughts and really it

> works, also I try

> just stay in the now, because what has happened cannot be

> undone, and

> there is little point in looking back with regrets and

> looking to the

> future with fear is not good either so here in the now is

> the best place

> to be and deal with that as it comes because I know I

> cannot control the

> future so I can control the now to a certain degree. I hope

> I have

> helped you in some small way, always remember live in the

> now. Goodluck

> to you this comes to you with many Irish blessings !!!

> --- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, "Dale"

> <dhdmidnight96@ ...> wrote:

> >

> > i post a lot about my relationship problems and

> mention my girlfriends

> > contribution to my anger but i gotta get honest. This

> is about me ,

> > when i get angry sometimes i get very mean i feel like

> i want the

> > person hurting or agrivating me to stop i panic and

> forget that im

> > dealing with someone i love and at times become very

> mean with my

> > actions and words and when its over typically im

> remorceful,very

> > remorceful. I want to learn to stop.I know i developed

> this hateful

> > rage as a child to deal with my mother but im real

> tired of playing

> > that escuse over and over in my mind i just want out.

> I want to be a

> > good, gentle,loving man who is not cursed with this

> vicious nastyness

> > in his heart but i need the tools or advice on how to

> start healing

> and

> > changing , someone please help.

> >

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]