Thanku Cary,
I will listen to you and follow what u say.

I apologize for any confusion. I will make sure noone is confused anymore by
saying what I really mean.  I will be sure to say what I mean, listen because I
want to get better and listen and follow what u say.

Thanku for helping to wake me up and listen.

My apologies to all. I hope no offense has been taken.

I am angry with me and now know I must change me thru all everybodies advice.

I hope all will keep talking to me.

Thanku,
Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "caryegbert" <caryegbert@...>
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:27:27
To: <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please

Jackie,

As has been true with Dale, I've generally avoided responding to your postings
since you too are extremely difficult to figure out.  For example, you just
clarified that I was wrong regarding your depression, which honestly shocks me
since your postings contain a number of characteristics of a deeply depressed
person.  Granted, related maladies (I say "related" because many depressives
also suffer from PTSD, anxiety and/or panic attacks, etc.) make it difficult to
know exactly what an individual is dealing with.

I also see that I didn't remember correctly about your personal religious
beliefs, but I still sincerely hope you take my words to heart since it is still
true that we should be very tolerant and patient with ourselves.  We should, in
fact, care just as deeply about ourselves as we generally do about those we
sincerely love.  Treating ourselves with dignity and respect results in positive
actions that are healthy and uplifting.  Conversely, allowing our minds to
engage in self-abusive thoughts and feelings is exactly the opposite of what
will help us effectively deal with our problems.

On another issue, I don't understand why you would say things you don't really
believe, which is reason enough to cause group members to not understand you and
therefore feel as if they might not have worthwhile suggestions to offer on your
behalf.  I do, however, understand that when we're deeply troubled, we might say
or do things we normally wouldn't dream of (e.g., your recent drinking and DUI
arrest).  But please try your best to express only that which you sincerely feel
and/or believe so we aren't mislead in our efforts to understand your nature and
the various difficult and deeply troubling life experiences you are dealing
with.

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@... wrote:
>
> Cary- I do hear you and thank you but religious is the one thing I am not. By
shrinks it has been determined the one thing I don't have is clinical
depression. I have a PTSD therapist and grief and sadly they know I feel the way
I do because of many events in my past , the death of my son, my first and only
DUI-i have been sober for years until Monday among many many things.
>
> I really don't believe I am the worlds greatest victim but hatred towards
oneself is difficult to say the least.
>
> I do appreciate your words of wisdom. I wear my heart on my sleeve and blame
myself for the tragedies in my life.
>
> I don't know any other way to be with ptsd. I have been told I have every
classic symptom for this. I said I am to blame for all the worlds problems but
truly I don't believe that.
>
> So I take that stateback back. I am trying to get in control but scared to
pieces.
>
> Jackie
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "caryegbert" <caryegbert@...>
> Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:21:04
> To: <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please
>
> Jackie,
>
> You said, "I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself." 
If I remember correctly, you are a deeply religious person; therefore, I
sincerely recommend that you ponder the following:
>
> The second great commandment says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  These
biblical words imply that we are all supposed to love ourselves (i.e., the
commandment could have been stated, "Love thyself as thy neighbor").  In other
words, it is sinful to loathe and despise oneself.  Indeed, it is the devil's
work when we allow ourselves to engage in self-destructive thoughts and
feelings.  Also, self-hatred is guaranteed to result in severe depression (as
are thoughts like, "I am responsible for all the worlds problems").
>
> We are instead supposed to be extremely patient with ourselves (God is
incredibly patient with us, isn't He?).  We are His divine creations, and as
such we are supposed to treat ourselves with great dignity and respect.  Yes, we
have way too many faults & weaknesses, and it unfortunately takes us a lifetime
to experience those things which God wants us to learn.  He is like a Master
Craftsman, and we should reflect on the fact that it requires excessive &
long-lasting heat to refine gold - which gold we are unto Heavenly Father.
>
> Cary
>
>
>
> --- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@ wrote:
> >
> > Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't
hurt anyone simply me.
> >
> > I deserve it
> >
> > Help-help-help
> >
> > Cary- can u help please.
> >
> > I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .
> >
> > I don't know anymore.
> >
> > Jackie
> > Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
> >
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jackie,

As has been true with Dale, I've generally avoided responding to your postings
since you too are extremely difficult to figure out.  For example, you just
clarified that I was wrong regarding your depression, which honestly shocks me
since your postings contain a number of characteristics of a deeply depressed
person.  Granted, related maladies (I say "related" because many depressives
also suffer from PTSD, anxiety and/or panic attacks, etc.) make it difficult to
know exactly what an individual is dealing with.

I also see that I didn't remember correctly about your personal religious
beliefs, but I still sincerely hope you take my words to heart since it is still
true that we should be very tolerant and patient with ourselves.  We should, in
fact, care just as deeply about ourselves as we generally do about those we
sincerely love.  Treating ourselves with dignity and respect results in positive
actions that are healthy and uplifting.  Conversely, allowing our minds to
engage in self-abusive thoughts and feelings is exactly the opposite of what
will help us effectively deal with our problems.

On another issue, I don't understand why you would say things you don't really
believe, which is reason enough to cause group members to not understand you and
therefore feel as if they might not have worthwhile suggestions to offer on your
behalf.  I do, however, understand that when we're deeply troubled, we might say
or do things we normally wouldn't dream of (e.g., your recent drinking and DUI
arrest).  But please try your best to express only that which you sincerely feel
and/or believe so we aren't mislead in our efforts to understand your nature and
the various difficult and deeply troubling life experiences you are dealing
with.

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@... wrote:
>
> Cary- I do hear you and thank you but religious is the one thing I am not. By
shrinks it has been determined the one thing I don't have is clinical
depression. I have a PTSD therapist and grief and sadly they know I feel the way
I do because of many events in my past , the death of my son, my first and only
DUI-i have been sober for years until Monday among many many things.
>
> I really don't believe I am the worlds greatest victim but hatred towards
oneself is difficult to say the least.
>
> I do appreciate your words of wisdom. I wear my heart on my sleeve and blame
myself for the tragedies in my life.
>
> I don't know any other way to be with ptsd. I have been told I have every
classic symptom for this. I said I am to blame for all the worlds problems but
truly I don't believe that.
>
> So I take that stateback back. I am trying to get in control but scared to
pieces.
>
> Jackie
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "caryegbert" <caryegbert@...>
> Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:21:04
> To: <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please
>
> Jackie,
>
> You said, "I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself." 
If I remember correctly, you are a deeply religious person; therefore, I
sincerely recommend that you ponder the following:
>
> The second great commandment says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  These
biblical words imply that we are all supposed to love ourselves (i.e., the
commandment could have been stated, "Love thyself as thy neighbor").  In other
words, it is sinful to loathe and despise oneself.  Indeed, it is the devil's
work when we allow ourselves to engage in self-destructive thoughts and
feelings.  Also, self-hatred is guaranteed to result in severe depression (as
are thoughts like, "I am responsible for all the worlds problems").
>
> We are instead supposed to be extremely patient with ourselves (God is
incredibly patient with us, isn't He?).  We are His divine creations, and as
such we are supposed to treat ourselves with great dignity and respect.  Yes, we
have way too many faults & weaknesses, and it unfortunately takes us a lifetime
to experience those things which God wants us to learn.  He is like a Master
Craftsman, and we should reflect on the fact that it requires excessive &
long-lasting heat to refine gold - which gold we are unto Heavenly Father.
>
> Cary
>
>
>
> --- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@ wrote:
> >
> > Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't
hurt anyone simply me.
> >
> > I deserve it
> >
> > Help-help-help
> >
> > Cary- can u help please.
> >
> > I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .
> >
> > I don't know anymore.
> >
> > Jackie
> > Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
> >
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Nice post..."pain" precedes anger...yep

--- On Fri, 11/27/09, Ron Huxley <huxleyron@...> wrote:


From: Ron Huxley <huxleyron@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Needing to vent, get advice and dealing
with anger during the holidays
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, November 27, 2009, 11:09 AM


 




Hello to all members,

This is Ron Huxley, founder and much more silent partner to Carey in the
moderation of the list. Thanks Carey for your diligence to this group!
I just wanted to offer a couple suggestions to keeping the group supportive and
remind us all of one very important detail.

First the suggestions. .. When starting out your posting, please put "just
needing to vent" or "needed advice" or some such opener to let people know what
you need from them. I do this with live, face to face support groups and it
works well. As Carey mentioned in an earlier post, some times we just need to
vent and don't want advice. This can increase our feelings of anger when someone
tries to fix us or tell us what we already know. If you are like me, I usually
know what I need to do differently. Sometimes I just want to vent and have
someone pat me on the shoulder or encourage me to keep going. Life can be hard
and full of hurts. Not all of those hurts need emergency care.

The other suggestion is to make sure that this is not the only source of support
you get for your anger. Email is limited. You miss a LOT of voice tones and
facial/body language and you can get angry when you think someone has said
something that they didn't when reading a typed message. You have to spell these
subtle jokes out for us to get when them when you write. Sarcasm is not a
helpful coping tool ever and it really doesn't work when writing so I would
suggest not doing that here. Anyway, the point is to find a therapist, attend
live groups, etc. to get all the help you need. Let us be just one part of your
overall plan for personal healing.

OK, now the detail. It is the holiday season and anger brews much more strongly
during this time of year than any other year. I read where Dale talked about
missing his son. I can relate to that with four adult children. Don't forget
that loss and grief is the undercurrent to most anger. Anger is a secondary
emotion and hurt is usually the primary. The holidays bring up old wounds. Try
to remind yourself that it is ok to grieve. This is the process we hate so much
but is so necessary to heal.

My blessings go out to everyone on the this list.

Sincerely

Ron Huxley, LMFT

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maybe this is what is missing from your life?..maybe there have been some
attempts to get you to understand it...faith

--- On Fri, 11/27/09, kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...> wrote:


From: kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...>
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please
To: "Anger site" <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Friday, November 27, 2009, 7:54 AM


 



Cary- I do hear you and thank you but religious is the one thing I am not. By
shrinks it has been determined the one thing I don't have is clinical
depression. I have a PTSD therapist and grief and sadly they know I feel the way
I do because of many events in my past , the death of my son, my first and only
DUI-i have been sober for years until Monday among many many things.

I really don't believe I am the worlds greatest victim but hatred towards
oneself is difficult to say the least.

I do appreciate your words of wisdom. I wear my heart on my sleeve and blame
myself for the tragedies in my life.

I don't know any other way to be with ptsd. I have been told I have every
classic symptom for this. I said I am to blame for all the worlds problems but
truly I don't believe that.

So I take that stateback back. I am trying to get in control but scared to
pieces.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "caryegbert" <caryegbert@earthlin k.net>
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:21:04
To: <angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please

Jackie,

You said, "I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself." If
I remember correctly, you are a deeply religious person; therefore, I sincerely
recommend that you ponder the following:

The second great commandment says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." These
biblical words imply that we are all supposed to love ourselves (i.e., the
commandment could have been stated, "Love thyself as thy neighbor"). In other
words, it is sinful to loathe and despise oneself. Indeed, it is the devil's
work when we allow ourselves to engage in self-destructive thoughts and
feelings. Also, self-hatred is guaranteed to result in severe depression (as are
thoughts like, "I am responsible for all the worlds problems").

We are instead supposed to be extremely patient with ourselves (God is
incredibly patient with us, isn't He?). We are His divine creations, and as such
we are supposed to treat ourselves with great dignity and respect. Yes, we have
way too many faults & weaknesses, and it unfortunately takes us a lifetime to
experience those things which God wants us to learn. He is like a Master
Craftsman, and we should reflect on the fact that it requires excessive &
long-lasting heat to refine gold - which gold we are unto Heavenly Father.

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, kykysmom@... wrote:
>
> Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't hurt
anyone simply me.
>
> I deserve it
>
> Help-help-help
>
> Cary- can u help please.
>
> I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .
>
> I don't know anymore.
>
> Jackie
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello to all members,

This is Ron Huxley, founder and much more silent partner to Carey in the
moderation of the list. Thanks Carey for your diligence to this group!
I just wanted to offer a couple suggestions to keeping the group supportive and
remind us all of one very important detail.

First the suggestions... When starting out your posting, please put "just
needing to vent" or "needed advice" or some such opener to let people know what
you need from them. I do this with live, face to face support groups and it
works well. As Carey mentioned in an earlier post, some times we just need to
vent and don't want advice. This can increase our feelings of anger when someone
tries to fix us or tell us what we already know. If you are like me, I usually
know what I need to do differently. Sometimes I just want to vent and have
someone pat me on the shoulder or encourage me to keep going. Life can be hard
and full of hurts. Not all of those hurts need emergency care.

The other suggestion is to make sure that this is not the only source of support
you get for your anger. Email is limited. You miss a LOT of voice tones and
facial/body language and you can get angry when you think someone has said
something that they didn't when reading a typed message. You have to spell these
subtle jokes out for us to get when them when you write. Sarcasm is not a
helpful coping tool ever and it really doesn't work when writing so I would
suggest not doing that here. Anyway, the point is to find a therapist, attend
live groups, etc. to get all the help you need. Let us be just one part of your
overall plan for personal healing.

OK, now the detail. It is the holiday season and anger brews much more strongly
during this time of year than any other year. I read where Dale talked about
missing his son. I can relate to that with four adult children. Don't forget
that loss and grief is the undercurrent to most anger. Anger is a secondary
emotion and hurt is usually the primary. The holidays bring up old wounds. Try
to remind yourself that it is ok to grieve. This is the process we hate so much
but is so necessary to heal.

My blessings go out to everyone on the this list.

Sincerely



  Ron Huxley, LMFT


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cary- I do hear you and thank you but religious is the one thing I am not. By
shrinks it has been determined the one thing I don't have is clinical
depression. I have a PTSD therapist and grief and sadly they know I feel the way
I do because of many events in my past , the death of my son, my first and only
DUI-i have been sober for years until Monday among many many things.

I really don't believe I am the worlds greatest victim but hatred towards
oneself is difficult to say the least.

I do appreciate your words of wisdom. I wear my heart on my sleeve and blame
myself for the tragedies in my life.

I don't know any other way to be with ptsd. I have been told I have every
classic symptom for this. I said I am to blame for all the worlds problems but
truly I don't believe that.

So I take that stateback back. I am trying to get in control but scared to
pieces.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "caryegbert" <caryegbert@...>
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:21:04
To: <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: Jim-help me please

Jackie,

You said, "I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself." 
If I remember correctly, you are a deeply religious person; therefore, I
sincerely recommend that you ponder the following:

The second great commandment says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  These
biblical words imply that we are all supposed to love ourselves (i.e., the
commandment could have been stated, "Love thyself as thy neighbor").  In other
words, it is sinful to loathe and despise oneself.  Indeed, it is the devil's
work when we allow ourselves to engage in self-destructive thoughts and
feelings.  Also, self-hatred is guaranteed to result in severe depression (as
are thoughts like, "I am responsible for all the worlds problems").

We are instead supposed to be extremely patient with ourselves (God is
incredibly patient with us, isn't He?).  We are His divine creations, and as
such we are supposed to treat ourselves with great dignity and respect.  Yes, we
have way too many faults & weaknesses, and it unfortunately takes us a lifetime
to experience those things which God wants us to learn.  He is like a Master
Craftsman, and we should reflect on the fact that it requires excessive &
long-lasting heat to refine gold - which gold we are unto Heavenly Father.

Cary



--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@... wrote:
>
> Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't hurt
anyone simply me.
>
> I deserve it
>
> Help-help-help
>
> Cary- can u help please.
>
> I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .
>
> I don't know anymore.
>
> Jackie
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Moderator comment:  Deep depression can cause people to believe such things
about themselves.  I know this as I sincerely believed for decades that the
entire universe would somehow be better off if I were dead.  Yes, I know how
ridiculous that claim seems, but that is the type of warped thinking serious
depression can cause.  I endured the hellish affliction known as major
depressive disorder (formerly called clinical depression) from age 18 to 58. 
I'm now age 65.]


My God,
You are so imortant that you are responsible for all the worlds problems?
I don't know anyone that big!
What a huge ego you have in the disguise of a victim!

 



________________________________
From: "kykysmom@..." <kykysmom@...>
To: Anger site <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Fri, November 27, 2009 12:25:57 PM
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Help me

 
Change my anger towards my worst enemy Me ! Yes it is tools but yes I am
responsible. I want suggestions my anger at the whole world is ruiening my life.

I am responsible for all the worlds problems

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dale,

Thanks for the explanation, which I now can say that I understand and agree
with.  You have indeed become extremely capable of appearing as a most
intimidating individual (or as you say, "its a defense i developed somewhere
sometime to protect myself"), even though you are really more like a puppy.

Cary


--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@...> wrote:
>
> thanks Cary i know what you say is true but i still keep blaming others and i
really need
> help with this.Basically in my opinion(which may be very wrong) i try and
treat people well
> and when i get anything but what i give back i turn mean however its just a
smoke screen but unfortunately i have become good at it id like to change
that.In other words I'm very good at making others think i can be mean as hell
its a defense i developed somewhere sometime to protect myself however its grown
into a monster and i cant seem to slay it it controls me a lot when things
aren't the way i want them to be or if i perceive someone is trying to hurt me
in any way.if y'all really knew me I'm a puppy with a pit bull growl and the
growl i want gone i just wanna be the puppy again.comparing me to those evil men
hurt
> me very much and im still very angry over it. Dale
>
> --- On Thu, 11/26/09, caryegbert <caryegbert@...> wrote:
>
>
> From: caryegbert <caryegbert@...>
> Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May
> To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 1:18 PM
>
>
>  
>
>
>
> Dale,
>
> Okay - I'll try being completely open and honest with you. To summarize, I
simply cannot figure you out, which is why I really haven't said anything of
significance to you. On the one hand, you seem extraordinarily open-minded and
willing to hear anything. But on the other hand, you come across like a valcano
- ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Your postings portray you as an
extremely volatile individual, and I personally haven't cared to venture forth
into a mine field when it's not necessary. Since others haven't respond to your
postings, I assume that they too feel as I feel.
>
> Here's some other related factors, I believe. People often vent wherein they
aren't expecting responses. Over the years of being in groups like this, I've
learned not to respond to those who vent since most often they haven't wanted to
read other's opinions and recommendations. Similarly, I've discovered that
people generally make statements without asking questions, and it's therefore
impossible to know if they would welcome responses unless they specifically ask
questions. Thirdly, and this is something we all should remember, we aren't a
group of experts but rather we all are dealing with our own anger issues and
don't know how to address them. In fact, in groups like this, sometimes we get
no more satisfaction than knowing that others share our experiences and
understand our troubling dilemmas - it's a "misery likes company" sort of thing.
>
> Anyway, I honestly feel for you, Dale, but I have feared offering any
suggestions. Besides, as I said above, I can't really figure you out, and I
sense that your anger problems are likely significantly greater than mine. In an
interesting way, you actually make me feel better about myself since I am
grateful that I don't have your perceived problems.
>
> Okay - I'll address one specific recommendation. You constantly state how
other people make you angry. For most of us, I believe, we understand this but
we also recognize the truth that others don't "make" us anything - we allow
ourselves to become angry. You don't seem to have any leaning toward this
concept at all; that is, you appear 100% convinced that others are responsible
for your anger. (Okay - now I've said something which could anger you, so we'll
see just how open-minded you really are.)
>
> Cary
>
> --- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@ ...> wrote:
> >
> > not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm
feeling . Since
> > new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
> > I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible
men i am
> > nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the
real me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not
even close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some
people want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
> > seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes
girlfriend has my son
> > over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
> > act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she
ignores me and does
> > what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the
seed of our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings
are ignored but
> > truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than
me.When i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the
selfish ,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when
my heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to
see my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
> > me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
> > you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not
a victim and no one makes me do anything
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Jackie,

You said, "I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself." 
If I remember correctly, you are a deeply religious person; therefore, I
sincerely recommend that you ponder the following:

The second great commandment says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."  These
biblical words imply that we are all supposed to love ourselves (i.e., the
commandment could have been stated, "Love thyself as thy neighbor").  In other
words, it is sinful to loathe and despise oneself.  Indeed, it is the devil's
work when we allow ourselves to engage in self-destructive thoughts and
feelings.  Also, self-hatred is guaranteed to result in severe depression (as
are thoughts like, "I am responsible for all the worlds problems").

We are instead supposed to be extremely patient with ourselves (God is
incredibly patient with us, isn't He?).  We are His divine creations, and as
such we are supposed to treat ourselves with great dignity and respect.  Yes, we
have way too many faults & weaknesses, and it unfortunately takes us a lifetime
to experience those things which God wants us to learn.  He is like a Master
Craftsman, and we should reflect on the fact that it requires excessive &
long-lasting heat to refine gold - which gold we are unto Heavenly Father.

Cary



--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, kykysmom@... wrote:
>
> Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't hurt
anyone simply me.
>
> I deserve it
>
> Help-help-help
>
> Cary- can u help please.
>
> I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .
>
> I don't know anymore.
>
> Jackie
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Everyone I am begging and pleading for your help. I am grateful I didn't hurt
anyone simply me.

I deserve it

Help-help-help

Cary- can u help please.

I am running on such deep seated anger and hatred towards myself .

I don't know anymore.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

please give yourself a break i bet you are an awesome person if you weren't you
wouldn't
be worried about hurting anyone.I hope we can be friends. I'm not asking for any
info from you i just want to tell you I'm from north Carolina and i have a
daughter Haley who is 13 and a son Levi that's 2. I want you to know there is a
genuine man with a real heart behind
these posts with hurts,dreams and problems but that feels better with the side
that
loves and not the angry side.you are a good person and I'm glad I'm getting the
chance to know you.Please start focusing on a solution you deserve it and if i
can help in any way
I'm here,Dale

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...> wrote:


From: kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] For group
To: "Anger site" <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 2:43 PM


 



I am mad at me and my words and thoughts towards many especially Dale were very
wrong.

I have hurt me out of my anger towards me and noone else.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Why don't you email me so we can talk? Your thinking is off....stuff
happens..horrible stuff, good stuff..and wonderful stuff...guess what dear, it
isn't YOUR fault..you make mistakes...we all do..hang in there and email me
sometime...I'm here..

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...> wrote:


From: kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Help me
To: "Anger site" <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 9:25 PM


 



Change my anger towards my worst enemy Me ! Yes it is tools but yes I am
responsible. I want suggestions my anger at the whole world is ruiening my life.

I am responsible for all the worlds problems

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Change my anger towards my worst enemy Me ! Yes it is tools but yes I am
responsible. I want suggestions my anger at the whole world is ruiening my life.

I am responsible for all the worlds problems

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

This is EXACTLY how my anger starts in me. This was a scary look onto my mind,
Dale.

Jason Hertenstein


On Nov 26, 2009, at 3:43 PM, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@...> wrote:

thanks Cary i know what you say is true but i still keep blaming others and i
really need
help with this.Basically in my opinion(which may be very wrong) i try and treat
people well
and when i get anything but what i give back i turn mean however its just a
smoke screen but unfortunately i have become good at it id like to change
that.In other words I'm very good at making others think i can be mean as hell
its a defense i developed somewhere sometime to protect myself however its grown
into a monster and i cant seem to slay it it controls me a lot when things
aren't the way i want them to be or if i perceive someone is trying to hurt me
in any way.if y'all really knew me I'm a puppy with a pit bull growl and the
growl i want gone i just wanna be the puppy again.comparing me to those evil men
hurt
me very much and im still very angry over it. Dale

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, caryegbert <caryegbert@...> wrote:

From: caryegbert <caryegbert@...>
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 1:18 PM



Dale,

Okay - I'll try being completely open and honest with you. To summarize, I
simply cannot figure you out, which is why I really haven't said anything of
significance to you. On the one hand, you seem extraordinarily open-minded and
willing to hear anything. But on the other hand, you come across like a valcano
- ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Your postings portray you as an
extremely volatile individual, and I personally haven't cared to venture forth
into a mine field when it's not necessary. Since others haven't respond to your
postings, I assume that they too feel as I feel.

Here's some other related factors, I believe. People often vent wherein they
aren't expecting responses. Over the years of being in groups like this, I've
learned not to respond to those who vent since most often they haven't wanted to
read other's opinions and recommendations. Similarly, I've discovered that
people generally make statements without asking questions, and it's therefore
impossible to know if they would welcome responses unless they specifically ask
questions. Thirdly, and this is something we all should remember, we aren't a
group of experts but rather we all are dealing with our own anger issues and
don't know how to address them. In fact, in groups like this, sometimes we get
no more satisfaction than knowing that others share our experiences and
understand our troubling dilemmas - it's a "misery likes company" sort of thing.

Anyway, I honestly feel for you, Dale, but I have feared offering any
suggestions. Besides, as I said above, I can't really figure you out, and I
sense that your anger problems are likely significantly greater than mine. In an
interesting way, you actually make me feel better about myself since I am
grateful that I don't have your perceived problems.

Okay - I'll address one specific recommendation. You constantly state how other
people make you angry. For most of us, I believe, we understand this but we also
recognize the truth that others don't "make" us anything - we allow ourselves to
become angry. You don't seem to have any leaning toward this concept at all;
that is, you appear 100% convinced that others are responsible for your anger.
(Okay - now I've said something which could anger you, so we'll see just how
open-minded you really are.)

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@ ...> wrote:
>
> not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm
feeling . Since
> new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
> I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men
i am
> nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the
real me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not
even close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some
people want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
> seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes
girlfriend has my son
> over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
> act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she
ignores me and does
> what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed
of our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
> truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than
me.When i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the
selfish ,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when
my heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to
see my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
> me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
> you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

thanks Jackie that means a lot to me. OK DWI and AA as a matter of fact I'm
going to a meeting now .you wont lose your license or go to jail ma by a limited
driving privilege for a year and some substance abuse classes which are in my
opinion about money only if
you want help for abusing alcohol or anything go to AA and remember alcohol is
just the symptom the problems are medicated,covered up by drugs or alcohol etc.
Jackie if you need any help in this area i have a PhD,love dale

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...> wrote:


From: kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] For Dale,
To: "Anger site" <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 2:38 PM


 



As I am a very angry person I should never have taken my feelings out on you.

I was scared, though no excuse and know your not like I blamed you.

I hope someday you will forgive me.

I should never have treated you as my scapegoat and I deeply regret and feel bad
about everything I did and said.

I am angry but not at you.

Please let this go.

I am angry at ME not you.

Take care,
Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

You are going to have to step back and take it easy with this, it is not the end
of the world.
 
 Deal with it and move on and also learn from it. Sometimes we have to learn
things the hard way.
 
They won't put you away and you really don't want that anyway.

I ignored a road sign the other day and got a fine and 2 points on my licence,
will I do that again ?? I don't think so....
 
You co operate with the penalties and you should be fine, simple as that, don't
panic so much, really on the grand scale of things where is it, does it even
make the scale ?? put things into perspective for yourself.
 
P.S. Thanks for your kind words towards my dog, I think everthing  is going to
be ok.
 
Take care and be easy on yourself, only you can do that.

--- On Thu, 26/11/09, kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...> wrote:


From: kykysmom@... <kykysmom@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Help please with Dui
To: "Anger site" <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, 26 November, 2009, 2:17


 



I don't know what to do. 1st offense,remotse u can imagine, stupid and I am
worried sick they will lock me away forever.

I was dumb, no excuses, bought it, drank some at my therapist and wish they
would lock me away.

I can't stand this pain.

Jackie

Please help
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

thanks firemaker same to you

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, James Fisher <firemaker41@...> wrote:


From: James Fisher <firemaker41@...>
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 1:30 PM


 



to dale d. happy thanksgiving firemaker

____________ _________ _________ __
From: Dale D <dhdmidnight96@ yahoo.com>
To: angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Thu, November 26, 2009 8:51:22 AM
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May

 
not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm feeling
. Since
new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men i
am
nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the real
me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not even
close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some people
want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes girlfriend
has my son
over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she ignores
me and does
what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed of
our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than me.When
i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the selfish
,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when my
heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to see
my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

thanks Cary i know what you say is true but i still keep blaming others and i
really need
help with this.Basically in my opinion(which may be very wrong) i try and treat
people well
and when i get anything but what i give back i turn mean however its just a
smoke screen but unfortunately i have become good at it id like to change
that.In other words I'm very good at making others think i can be mean as hell
its a defense i developed somewhere sometime to protect myself however its grown
into a monster and i cant seem to slay it it controls me a lot when things
aren't the way i want them to be or if i perceive someone is trying to hurt me
in any way.if y'all really knew me I'm a puppy with a pit bull growl and the
growl i want gone i just wanna be the puppy again.comparing me to those evil men
hurt
me very much and im still very angry over it. Dale

--- On Thu, 11/26/09, caryegbert <caryegbert@...> wrote:


From: caryegbert <caryegbert@...>
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, November 26, 2009, 1:18 PM


 



Dale,

Okay - I'll try being completely open and honest with you. To summarize, I
simply cannot figure you out, which is why I really haven't said anything of
significance to you. On the one hand, you seem extraordinarily open-minded and
willing to hear anything. But on the other hand, you come across like a valcano
- ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Your postings portray you as an
extremely volatile individual, and I personally haven't cared to venture forth
into a mine field when it's not necessary. Since others haven't respond to your
postings, I assume that they too feel as I feel.

Here's some other related factors, I believe. People often vent wherein they
aren't expecting responses. Over the years of being in groups like this, I've
learned not to respond to those who vent since most often they haven't wanted to
read other's opinions and recommendations. Similarly, I've discovered that
people generally make statements without asking questions, and it's therefore
impossible to know if they would welcome responses unless they specifically ask
questions. Thirdly, and this is something we all should remember, we aren't a
group of experts but rather we all are dealing with our own anger issues and
don't know how to address them. In fact, in groups like this, sometimes we get
no more satisfaction than knowing that others share our experiences and
understand our troubling dilemmas - it's a "misery likes company" sort of thing.

Anyway, I honestly feel for you, Dale, but I have feared offering any
suggestions. Besides, as I said above, I can't really figure you out, and I
sense that your anger problems are likely significantly greater than mine. In an
interesting way, you actually make me feel better about myself since I am
grateful that I don't have your perceived problems.

Okay - I'll address one specific recommendation. You constantly state how other
people make you angry. For most of us, I believe, we understand this but we also
recognize the truth that others don't "make" us anything - we allow ourselves to
become angry. You don't seem to have any leaning toward this concept at all;
that is, you appear 100% convinced that others are responsible for your anger.
(Okay - now I've said something which could anger you, so we'll see just how
open-minded you really are.)

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@ ...> wrote:
>
> not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm
feeling . Since
> new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
> I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men
i am
> nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the
real me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not
even close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some
people want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
> seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes
girlfriend has my son
> over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
> act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she
ignores me and does
> what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed
of our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
> truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than
me.When i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the
selfish ,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when
my heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to
see my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
> me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
> you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thankyou Carey and Dale,
I have to ditto Carey's sharing and insight here. Being new to the group I have
been a bit disappointed by the lack of courage that the "so called angry people"
on this site have demonstrated. My experience of my own anger is that it also
contains a great courage too.  This is only because I have worked hard to
harness it by taking responsabilty for all consequences of my anger.  Three
little magic words "I am responsible" is the only way I know how to work
positively with this energy of power and movement forward. 

The little bit I have shared of my experience seems to have been percieved as
superior and threatening or too intellectual or.......and ....or.......all sound
like excuses of closed minds that prefer to remain angry to me.  The title of
this group was "angertoolbox", it hinted to me that this was more than a place
to vent blindly and never grow. It sounded like it might be a place to explore
and learn new ways and tools for self managing anger.  Have'nt seen an effort
by anyone to do this yet.  Just mostly a few people who seem happy to play the
blame game.  I have noticed that these people and people like them never say
YES,  PLEASE OR THANKYOU in silence they are saying NO, GO AND FUCKYOU!

Thanks Carey and Jake for some intelligent input so far
Kind regards
Sadhana





________________________________
From: caryegbert <caryegbert@...>
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Fri, November 27, 2009 4:18:26 AM
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May

 
Dale,

Okay - I'll try being completely open and honest with you. To summarize, I
simply cannot figure you out, which is why I really haven't said anything of
significance to you. On the one hand, you seem extraordinarily open-minded and
willing to hear anything. But on the other hand, you come across like a valcano
- ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Your postings portray you as an
extremely volatile individual, and I personally haven't cared to venture forth
into a mine field when it's not necessary. Since others haven't respond to your
postings, I assume that they too feel as I feel.

Here's some other related factors, I believe. People often vent wherein they
aren't expecting responses. Over the years of being in groups like this, I've
learned not to respond to those who vent since most often they haven't wanted to
read other's opinions and recommendations. Similarly, I've discovered that
people generally make statements without asking questions, and it's therefore
impossible to know if they would welcome responses unless they specifically ask
questions. Thirdly, and this is something we all should remember, we aren't a
group of experts but rather we all are dealing with our own anger issues and
don't know how to address them. In fact, in groups like this, sometimes we get
no more satisfaction than knowing that others share our experiences and
understand our troubling dilemmas - it's a "misery likes company" sort of thing.

Anyway, I honestly feel for you, Dale, but I have feared offering any
suggestions. Besides, as I said above, I can't really figure you out, and I
sense that your anger problems are likely significantly greater than mine. In an
interesting way, you actually make me feel better about myself since I am
grateful that I don't have your perceived problems.

Okay - I'll address one specific recommendation. You constantly state how other
people make you angry. For most of us, I believe, we understand this but we also
recognize the truth that others don't "make" us anything - we allow ourselves to
become angry. You don't seem to have any leaning toward this concept at all;
that is, you appear 100% convinced that others are responsible for your anger.
(Okay - now I've said something which could anger you, so we'll see just how
open-minded you really are.)

Cary

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@ ...> wrote:
>
> not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm
feeling . Since
> new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
> I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men
i am
> nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the
real me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not
even close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some
people want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
> seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes
girlfriend has my son
> over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
> act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she
ignores me and does
> what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed
of our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
> truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than
me.When i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the
selfish ,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when
my heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to
see my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
> me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
> you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I am mad at me and my words and thoughts towards many especially Dale were very
wrong.

I have hurt me out of my anger towards me and noone else.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I'm terrified. This is my first DUI and I'm mad at ME. I am stupid and a fool
and an idiot.

I am starting AA, got a sponsor and eating my guts out.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

As I am a very angry person I should never have taken my feelings out on you.

I was scared, though no excuse and know your not like I blamed you.

I hope someday you will forgive me.

I should never have treated you as my scapegoat and I deeply regret and feel bad
about everything I did and said.

I am angry but not at you.

Please let this go.

I am angry at ME not you.

Take care,
Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

to dale d. happy thanksgiving firemaker




________________________________
From: Dale D <dhdmidnight96@...>
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thu, November 26, 2009 8:51:22 AM
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] May

 
not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm feeling
. Since
new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men i
am
nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the real
me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not even
close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some people
want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes girlfriend
has my son
over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she ignores
me and does
what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed of
our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than me.When
i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the selfish
,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when my
heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to see
my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dale,

Okay - I'll try being completely open and honest with you.  To summarize, I
simply cannot figure you out, which is why I really haven't said anything of
significance to you.  On the one hand, you seem extraordinarily open-minded and
willing to hear anything.  But on the other hand, you come across like a valcano
- ready to explode at the slightest provocation.  Your postings portray you as
an extremely volatile individual, and I personally haven't cared to venture
forth into a mine field when it's not necessary.  Since others haven't respond
to your postings, I assume that they too feel as I feel.

Here's some other related factors, I believe.  People often vent wherein they
aren't expecting responses.  Over the years of being in groups like this, I've
learned not to respond to those who vent since most often they haven't wanted to
read other's opinions and recommendations.  Similarly, I've discovered that
people generally make statements without asking questions, and it's therefore
impossible to know if they would welcome responses unless they specifically ask
questions.  Thirdly, and this is something we all should remember, we aren't a
group of experts but rather we all are dealing with our own anger issues and
don't know how to address them.  In fact, in groups like this, sometimes we get
no more satisfaction than knowing that others share our experiences and
understand our troubling dilemmas - it's a "misery likes company" sort of thing.

Anyway, I honestly feel for you, Dale, but I have feared offering any
suggestions.  Besides, as I said above, I can't really figure you out, and I
sense that your anger problems are likely significantly greater than mine.  In
an interesting way, you actually make me feel better about myself since I am
grateful that I don't have your perceived problems.

Okay - I'll address one specific recommendation.  You constantly state how other
people make you angry.  For most of us, I believe, we understand this but we
also recognize the truth that others don't "make" us anything - we allow
ourselves to become angry.  You don't seem to have any leaning toward this
concept at all; that is, you appear 100% convinced that others are responsible
for your anger.  (Okay - now I've said something which could anger you, so we'll
see just how open-minded you really are.)

Cary


--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, Dale D <dhdmidnight96@...> wrote:
>
> not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm
feeling . Since
> new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
> I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men
i am
> nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the
real me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not
even close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some
people want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
> seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes
girlfriend has my son
> over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
> act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she
ignores me and does
> what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed
of our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
> truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than
me.When i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the
selfish ,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when
my heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to
see my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
>  me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
> you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

not trying to put words into any ones mouth but i get a hint of what I'm feeling
. Since
new members came this place seems to have lost what its supposed to be for
,anger.
I'm completely ignored it seems because I'm angry and compared to horrible men i
am
nothing like.If we were all together in person i know you all would see the real
me.I voice things in anger and people here take it as fact which its not even
close and i try to explain that to no avail and i think its because some people
want childish drama and "clicks"Ive
seen it in AA and other places its not helpful to anyone.My sometimes girlfriend
has my son
over the entire holiday and thinks I'm being dramatic because i think its
selfish as hell to
act like being with his father also is the right thing and as usual she ignores
me and does
what she wants with no regard to my feelings at all and this is what the seed of
our problem has always been not my anger i get angry because my feelings are
ignored but
truth be told if she was in my shoes she would be 100 times madder than me.When
i told y'all things in the past no one ever paid much attention to the selfish
,mean way Ive been treated and still am y'all just heard what i did when my
heart couldn't take anymore.You see i was hurt and angry and wanted her to see
my pain and how bad she hurt me because she never even let me have that she
always said i wasn't that sensitive and therefore the way she treated me i had
no right to be hurt because she said so and that's why i snapped in anger i was
hurt and just wanted her to acknowledge she was wrong in hurting me and how that
got me compared to vile evil rapist ill never know in my opinion its because
someone needed a target for drama and a person to get everyone against and i
seemed like a good one the only problem is you are wrong ,I'm angry but far from
evil.Thanksgiving I'm without my son and angry again because its the same
selfish treatment that made
  me so angry and got me here talking to y'all and i thought that's what this
place was for so where are my angry friends? turned against me so easily? think
my anger is so much worse or I'm terrible? well I'm not and if you took the time
to listen instead of judging you might find a kindhearted helpful friend that
has a problem and has always been angry but one that
you would most definitely want with you in a foxhole.PS i was wrong I'm not a
victim and no one makes me do anything




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I don't know what to do. 1st offense,remotse u can imagine, stupid and I am
worried sick they will lock me away forever.

I was dumb, no excuses, bought it, drank some at my therapist and wish they
would lock me away.

I can't stand this pain.

Jackie

Please help
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Jackie here. I never had one. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified. I was
coming from my therapist and blew a 1.8.

What else is going to happen. I can't handle amything.

Any help would b appreciated.

I'm really angry at myself and that's who I take it out on.

Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Jaimie,
Yes I do that was 30 years ago. I wish I believed in something.

Thankyou for caring
Jackie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: Jamie Lewinski <jamie.lewinski@...>
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:35:16
To: <angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] May

Jackie,
Are you sure you need this group or does your boyfriend and those guys who beat
you to oblivion? I am so sorry that that happened to you. I must tell you that
bad things happen to good people... these things do not happen to punish people.
Those people who beat you made their own decision. I'm sure you did not provoke
such a thing. Please do not blame yourself for what happened. I will pray for
you if you believe in prayer. If you need someone to talk to, please email me
directly. I cannot guarantee that I will get to it right away but I will reply.

-Jamie




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jackie,
Are you sure you need this group or does your boyfriend and those guys who beat
you to oblivion? I am so sorry that that happened to you. I must tell you that
bad things happen to good people... these things do not happen to punish people.
Those people who beat you made their own decision. I'm sure you did not provoke
such a thing. Please do not blame yourself for what happened. I will pray for
you if you believe in prayer. If you need someone to talk to, please email me
directly. I cannot guarantee that I will get to it right away but I will reply.

-Jamie




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]