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my sanity   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #1503 of 2392 |
hello all,
i think ive just been had. im not trying to get girlfriend advice or
anything juvenille im just lost again.as ive said in the past i have
issues and so does my girlfriend but either im going crazy(er) or she
plays me for some sick need.i will be completely honest and i ask the
same of anyone who responds. im not after having anyone tell me im
right i just need an outside opinion and im alone here and have
knowone to ask.this morning i came downstairs and my girlfriend and
the two boys were in the living room she was laying on the floor with
covers.im usually the one who gets up early with them but it was her
today.well all seemed ok i was laying on the floor with them, she may
have noticed a few looks on my face towards my stepson he is 7 but
very advanced and very annoying but i didnt say anything.she made a
commit about the son we share together saying i dont understand he
was in a good mood all morning till now and well the only difference
is i was with them now.it made me mad so i responded by saying
something harmless but letting her know i knew what she was implying
(from time to time she says suttle hurtful things)well after i
responded she got up and went crazy yelling and it all seemed very
fake to me i followered her upstairs trying to get a hold on things
and she kept grabing my shirt and pulling me around and then i
started getting angry next thing i know her son was crying and im the
perp and she and him the victum he talked to me like he was 21 and i
resonded like he was 21 (mistake i know)now she is at a hotel and im
the devil once more. i swear when she started yelling at me when this
first started it seemed so fake ive seen her mad and she wasnt in my
eyes she was trying to make it look like to her son that i was doing
something and she was so tired of me causing this but truthfully i
was just confused and not doing much of anything . she does this with
her ex and did long before i came around.i guess you can only see
myside since im telling it but why would anyone stage something so
mean?she is always saying she is scared i will leave her that she has
never really loved till me but this shit is insane. did she know if
she started some bs then pushed me id get mad and make a mistake?am i
insane and paranoid?i try my best to admit my wrongs and try to grow
and change but now im left with what i said to her son and im the bad
guy once again because thats what stands out.truthfully it never had
to happen in my eyes.please help me to understand im so used to being
the person in the wrong but with her something feels like i get
played a lot.does anyone understand? am i crazy? please be honest




Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:14 pm

dhdmidnight96
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Message #1503 of 2392 |
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hello all, i think ive just been had. im not trying to get girlfriend advice or anything juvenille im just lost again.as ive said in the past i have issues and...
Dale
dhdmidnight96
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Dec 30, 2008
9:54 pm

Hi Dale....   I'm going to just guess here.  I had a similar relationship with my mom.  At some point it doesn't matter who is right or wrong.  12 step...
j rayno
hawaii062003
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Dec 30, 2008
11:25 pm

thanks , i have a bad anger problem and i do a lot of things im ashamed of when i lose it . i tend to blame her for starting these things in the first place...
Dale D
dhdmidnight96
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Dec 31, 2008
1:33 am

i respect what ive read and thanks. i feel like a drunk trying to get sober in a bar but its my family who i love dearly.in the past before i got sober i was...
Dale D
dhdmidnight96
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Dec 31, 2008
2:09 am

LOL...yea, the "fighting" made me tired too.......   But, see if you can remember when she goes off...is she in pain? (that was why I thought of the monthly...
j rayno
hawaii062003
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Dec 31, 2008
3:27 am

well it sucks im always left the bad guy and she gets off scott free this is her house and she has custodity of our son , she causes fights i show up for it...
Dale D
dhdmidnight96
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Dec 31, 2008
4:18 am

Dale, First thing you need to do is ask yourself why you are with this woman. If she is as caustic towards you as you describe then why stay? What is it that...
wordsnmelanie
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Jan 26, 2009
8:42 pm

Yea............if you point the blame to others, see how much power that gives them?  You give them the power over you? (that might help you stop and think...
j rayno
hawaii062003
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Dec 31, 2008
3:27 am

Good luck... Maybe talking about it, kind of thinking out loud, you will get answers that will help with the healing...I know it happened that way with me........
j rayno
hawaii062003
Offline Send Email
Dec 31, 2008
6:02 am
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