Thanks for sharing the information on Kubler-Ross stages of grief. This is an
excellent area to start when coming to an understanding of how and why are
losses are occuring and what can we expect. It does help answer the original
question asked here about how long should depression last. Unfortunately, it
does not give a definite answer because there is not one. Each of us is
different in how we experience the stages of grief and how we cope with them. We
may get stuck at one stage and stay there for a while. We may try to skip over
them to avoid the painful feelings associated with one of the stages.

The important point to remember is that these stages are universal. This is
helpful as we often think that we are the only person to have these kind of
experiences and feel like we must be crazy. We aren't!

A modern version of the stages of grief would draw them in a spiral. We repeat
certain stages at later times in our lives. For example, we feel high levels of
grief (anxiety, depression, etc) on certain dates/times of the year. The
holidays are a great example of this as they remind of what we don't have... The
good news is that the feelings of grief are often less intense over time or we
find that we are more resourceful in managing them over time.

If you get stuck in one of the stages, such as depression, for too long a period
of time and it begins to cause you to no longer function (say hold a job any
longer) then it is good to see a professional20about treatment for this
depression.

Blessings,


 Ron Huxley, LMFT
http://www.RonHuxley.com
Founder of the AngerToolbox Group

-----Original Message-----
From: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, 27 Dec 2008 11:12 am
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Digest Number 572




AngerToolbox

Messages In This Digest (4 Messages)


1a.

Re: death From: Carolyn

1b.

Re: death From: Vinny Daviking

1c.

Re: death From: j rayno

1d.

Re: death From: j rayno


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1a.


Re: death

Posted by: "Carolyn" c08carolyn@...   c08carolyn

Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:24 am (PST)

There are several stages of grief. Kubler-Ross has shown a pattern for what
stages you
may go through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model I'm sure each
instance
is different. There is also more about grief on this website:
http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/pages/AboutGrief.html

I've never experienced grief on a large scale because not many bad things have
happened
to me or to my immediate family or maybe I'm just too self-centered.

Carolyn.

--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, "hawaii062003" <hawaii062003@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> Got a question for anyone.
> How long is appropreate to feel depression?
>
> Some where I think I heard 2 weeks. For me, if death is reason for
> depression, does this pass in 2 weeks?
>
> I lost a friend last Thur, and have been on a roller coaster of
>
emotions. I know some of them and have been told about others. But
> this time, my employer offered "employee assistance program"......and
> Im thinking I will take advantage of it. This time, it is with a
> employer with ill/dieing people and not loss of job. Seems one you
> might get back, where this loss you will never....(something)
>
> Should I wait two weeks and see if it goes away, or take advantage of
> the offer as soon as I can get in.
>
> I've not been very good with therapists, so not sure what to expect
> or what to do or ask? I'm sure "pre existing" symptons will come
> about, but feel if I had had the correct guidence when this happen
> the first time, I may not have taken so long to start the healing
> process.
>
> I have anger tools that seem to work, but not sure if that is what I
> should be doing now. (I start to say what I think, and pull back, so
> not to get the converstation to run away from me)
>
> Id like to get on the right foot this time....
>




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Messages in this topic (6)


1b.


Re: death

Posted by: "Vinny Daviking" bigv3608@...   bigv3608

Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:31 pm (PST)

tak advantage now i been helped alot by intense therapy for loosing my mom 2
months. U may not need that much but take help offered

--- On Fri, 12/26/08, Carolyn <c08carolyn@...> wrote:

F
rom: Carolyn <c08carolyn@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: death
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, December 26, 2008, 10:59 AM

There are several stages of grief. Kubler-Ross has shown a pattern for what
stages you
may go through. http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Kübler-Ross_model I'm sure each
instance
is different. There is also more about grief on this website:
http://www.elisabet hkublerross. com/pages/ AboutGrief. html

I've never experienced grief on a large scale because not many bad things have
happened
to me or to my immediate family or maybe I'm just too self-centered.

Carolyn.

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, "hawaii062003" <hawaii062003@ ...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> Got a question for anyone.
> How long is appropreate to feel depression?
>
> Some where I think I heard 2 weeks. For me, if death is reason for
> depression, does this pass in 2 weeks?
>
> I lost a friend last Thur, and have been on a roller coaster of
> emotions. I know some of them and have been told about others. But
> this time, my employer offered "employee assistance program".... ..and
> Im thinking I will take advantage of it. This time, it is with a
> employer with ill/dieing people and not loss of job. Seems one you
> might get back, where this loss you will never....(something )
>
> Should I wait two weeks and see if it goes away, or take advantage of
> the offer as soon as I can get in.
>
> I've not been very good with therapists, so not
sure what to expect
> or what to do or ask? I'm sure "pre existing" symptons will come
> about, but feel if I had had the correct guidence when this happen
> the first time, I may not have taken so long to start the healing
> process.
>
> I have anger tools that seem to work, but not sure if that is what I
> should be doing now. (I start to say what I think, and pull back, so
> not to get the converstation to run away from me)
>
> Id like to get on the right foot this time....
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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Messages in this topic (6)


1c.


Re: death

Posted by: "j rayno" hawaii062003@...   hawaii062003

Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:43 pm (PST)

Thank you...............I will look into your suggestions....I believe education
is power, and if I knew then what I know now, I'm sure I would not have been
"stuck" in anger.
 
For me, I think what happen, I was processing job loss and life style when the
sudden death of my mom hit my family and we were all loss with our emotions and
feelings.  The problem got out of hand when a few siblings that drink and do
recreational drugs, "lost it".  When I went to a dr for my symptoms, they tried
to treat my symptoms like an illness, when in actuality, I had to experience the
loss and go through it, not fight those feelings.  (the fight seemed to20defend
myself against siblings that never got along with each other before during good
time).  I had the right to feel my grief, without siblings finding my
vulnerability and attacking me cause they were angry..
 
I think what happen with most of my siblings, was being raised with the mom we
got, we avoided confutation till we had confront that fear............?????
 
Thank you again....
 
volunteers don't necessarily have the time:
they just have the heart.
author unknown

________________________________
From: Carolyn <c08carolyn@...>
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 7:59:53 AM
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: death

There are several stages of grief.  Kubler-Ross has shown a pattern for what
stages you
may go through.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model  I'm sure
each instance
is different.  There is also more about grief on this website: 
http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/pages/AboutGrief.html

I've never experienced grief on a large scale because not many bad things have
happened
to me or to my immediate family or maybe I'm just too self-centered. 

Carolyn.

--- In angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com, "hawaii062003" <hawaii062003@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> Got a question for anyone.
> How long is appropreate to feel depression?
>
> Some where I think I heard 2 weeks.  For me, if death is reason for
> depression, does this pass in 2 weeks?
>
> I lost a friend last Thur, and have been on a roller coaster of
> emotion
s.  I know some of them and have been told about others.  But
> this time, my employer offered "employee assistance program"......and
> Im thinking I will take advantage of it. This time, it is with a
> employer with ill/dieing people and not loss of job.  Seems one you
> might get back, where this loss you will never....(something)
>
> Should I wait two weeks and see if it goes away, or take advantage of
> the offer as soon as I can get in.
>
> I've not been very good with therapists, so not sure what to expect
> or what to do or ask?  I'm sure "pre existing" symptons will come
> about, but feel if I had had the correct guidence when this happen
> the first time, I may not have taken so long to start the healing
> process.
>
> I have anger tools that seem to work, but not sure if that is what I
> should be doing now. (I start to say what I think, and pull back, so
> not to get the converstation to run away from me)
>
> Id like to get on the right foot this time....
>

------------------------------------

Panic Attacks cannot harm you!

Get our ebook on how to manage
panic attacks for no charge.
This ebook on Panic will help
you and your child understand
what and why Panic Attacks occur
and how to cope with them.

Take charge of your Panic Attacks now at

http://www.parentingtoolbox.com/nopanic.pdf
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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Messages in this topic (6)


1d.


Re: death

Posted by: "j rayno" hawaii062003@...   hawaii062003

Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:43 pm (PST)

Yes.....we can learn something new everyday.........
 Volunteers don't necessarily have the time:
they just have the heart.
author unknown

________________________________
From: Vinny Daviking <bigv3608@...>
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 12:13:23 PM
Subject: Re: [angertoolbox support group] Re: death

tak advantage now i been helped alot by intense therapy for loosing my mom 2
months. U may not need that much but take help offered

--- On Fri, 12/26/08, Carolyn <c08carolyn@...> wrote:

From: Carolyn <c08carolyn@...>
Subject: [angertoolbox support group] Re: death
To: angertoolbox@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, December 26, 2008, 10:59 AM

There are several stages of grief. Kubler-Ross has shown a pattern for what
stages you
may go through. http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Kübler-Ross_model I'm sure each
instance
is different. There is also more about grief on this website:
http://www.elisabet hkublerross. com/pages/ AboutGrief. html

I've never experienced grief on a large scale because not many bad things have
happened
to me or to my immediate family or maybe I'm just too self-centered.

Carolyn.

--- In angertoolbox@ yahoogroups. com, "hawaii062003" <hawaii062003@ ...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> Got a question for anyone.
> How long is appropreate to feel=2
0depression?
>
> Some where I think I heard 2 weeks. For me, if death is reason for
> depression, does this pass in 2 weeks?
>
> I lost a friend last Thur, and have been on a roller coaster of
> emotions. I know some of them and have been told about others. But
> this time, my employer offered "employee assistance program".... ..and
> Im thinking I will take advantage of it. This time, it is with a
> employer with ill/dieing people and not loss of job. Seems one you
> might get back, where this loss you will never....(something )
>
> Should I wait two weeks and see if it goes away, or take advantage of
> the offer as soon as I can get in.
>
> I've not been very good with therapists, so not sure what to expect
> or what to do or ask? I'm sure "pre existing" symptons will come
> about, but feel if I had had the correct guidence when this happen
> the first time, I may not have taken so long to start the healing
> process.
>
> I have anger tools that seem to work, but not sure if that is what I
> should be doing now. (I start to say what I think, and pull back, so
> not to get the converstation to run away from me)
>
> Id like to get on the right foot this time....
>

     

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------------------------------

Panic Attacks cannot harm you!

Get our ebook on how to manage
panic attacks for no charge.
This ebook on=2
0Panic will help
you and your child understand
what and why Panic Attacks occur
and how to cope with them.

Take charge of your Panic Attacks now at

http://www.parentingtoolbox.com/nopanic.pdf
Yahoo! Groups Links

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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