Hi Deb..I understand where yer coming from ..Face to face meeting are
great to listen to others recoveries and how their doing..To be there
when new comers show up all bleary eyed and nervous..Its fun to put a
hand out and to welcome them..I am glad your here posting too..Love
ya...Mike













--- In anewbeginning2@yahoogroups.com, purplejune <no_reply@...>
wrote:
>
> I am in process of getting back to land meetings. As I was driving
> down the road one day wondering if I am indeed an alcoholic after
all
> - I haven't had a drink in quite some time, have no desire to
drink,
> and do have a good support network in place. But still, something
is
> missing. I did go to a BB meeting Thursday night. We read 'Dr.
Bob's
> Nightmare' (or whatever the title is) As Dr. Bob tells his story,
he
> wonders what was different when Bill talked to him. And he tells
us -
> this man spoke his language.
>
> Years ago I was so immersed in AA that I don't think I knew anyone
> anymore who was not in the meetings. I was the group's GSR, the
> District Secretary, chaired meetings, made coffee, and my entire
> social life was centered around AA with sober picnics, dances, group
> anniversary dinners, whatever. It was great. I did not believe
that
> I could ever socialize in any way with 'normal' people. I just
didn't
> fit.
>
> So, when my life evolved and I became involved in other groups and
> other things and I was comfortable this was real growth for me.
But
> I do find occasionally that I forget who I'm talking to and they
look
> at me sort of funny because they have no idea what I'm saying - I'm
> speaking a foreign language.
>
> At that meeting Thursday night it occurred to me that here is the
only
> place where I can truly exhale. Everywhere else I am 'on' to some
> degree. I love these groups that I'm connected with, I trust the
> people and know that they do really care about me - but only in an
AA
> meeting can I wholly let down my guard and just exist. Even at an
AA
> meeting where I have no close connections, I am not alone. These
> people speak my language.
>
> I left that meeting feeling more 'whole' than I'd been in a while.
>
> I am glad that I am not feeling any desire or compulsion to drink.
> But I can see where that little lonliness could lead to a negative
path.
>
> On another note - it's snowing again. Geez! I really want to put
the
> shovels and blower away. I want the weather to clear and the
ground
> to dry so that I can have my trailer jacked up. And I'm tired of
mud.
> We have 5 seasons in the Catskills - Winter, More Winter, Mud,
Summer
> (1 week), Winter. I live for that 1 week of summer!
>
>
> ODAT
>
>
> Deb K
>