--- In anencephaly@yahoogroups.com, "Kelly Mackura" <yukiko575@...>
wrote:
>
> It's been five days since I lost my son. I was 19 weeks pregnant.
He
> had aneencephaly. It's 5 am and I haven't slept a wink. The only
way to
> sleep these days is to take ambien. I chose not to take it last
night
> because my husband hasn't been able to sleep with my heavy
snoring. So
> here I am. Looking for answers. Looking for support. Looking for
an
> outlet. Sunday was a bad day for me. I had the strongest desire to
> nurture my newborn. I just wanted to hold him in my arms, snuggle,
and
> nurse him. How do you birth your baby and not get to be with him
> afterwards. I don't know how to fix this. I feel like jumping out
my
> skin to scream. I feel like changing my identity and escaping,
moving
> to a place where no one knew I was ever pregnant and so thrilled
to be.
> It's so weird that I had peace about it until yesterday. Now I'm
just
> depressed. Any advice?
>
> Mama to Liko (15 months old) and Kai (my angel in heaven)
>I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. i wish i could give u some
advice that would make all your pain go away. I'm sorry I can't do
that. What I can tell you is that you are in the right place.
everyone here understands what you are going threw. And sometimes
that can bring you comfort, to know that you can you here. you dont
have to pretend to be find. you can scream and cry all you want. we
understand. it will be three yrs on 11-04-07 that I lost my baby
Isabella. It still hurts, I know what you mean about the new
identity, sometimes i find it easier to talk to people who had no
idea what happen to me, but other times I want to scream out any say
dont forget about Isabella, she was my daughter, she wasn't just a
rough time in my life and i show be over it by now cuz three yrs
have gone by. She was my baby. i hope you can find comfort in this
site, i have. remember we might not know each other but we all have
the same pain and sometimes strangers can be more helpful because we
understand