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#49 From: "Rich O'Boyle" <eldercareonline@...>
Date: Tue Dec 5, 2000 3:26 am
Subject: Ask the Expert: Alzheimer's Disease and Memory Enhancement Chats
eldercareonline@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Dear Friends,

Please join us for one (or all) of our real-time discussion groups
this week. We have two special sessions that I think you would find
particularly informative. I would like to offer these guest hosts a
warm welcome and a dynamic discussion.

If you can find the time in your busy schedule, I am sure that you
will find these experienced professionals will enlighten you and help
you improve quality of life for yourself and your aging loved ones.

Memory Enhancement

Dr. Joanne Singleton from Pace University's Institute for Healthy
Aging will host a discussion on "Memory Enhancement" on Wednesday,
December 6 from 9:00PM to 10:00PM EST. Joanne is Family Nurse
Practitioner, and Doctor of Nursing. She is an Associate Professor at
Pace University, Lienhard School of Nursing, and Director of Pace's
Institute for Healthy Aging. Dr. Singleton maintains a practice at
the State University of New York Health Science Center in Brooklyn,
N.Y. Her area of research focuses on care-of-self, and understanding
what helps patients to follow their care plans. Those who can not
attend at the specified time may e-mail advance questions to rich@ec-
online.net or read the transcript of the session the following day.

Dementia Caregiving

Susan Grossman, founder of alzwell.com and an experienced Alzheimer's
Disease caregiver will host her regular "ALZwell Tonight" discussion
group on Thursday, December 7 from 9:00PM to 10:00PM EST. These
lively sessions emphasize sharing experiences, learning best
practices and finding appropriate resources.

Alzheimer's Answers

Our first session of Alzheimer's Answers will be conducted on Friday,
December 8 from 1PM to 3PM on the topic of "The Stages of Alzheimer's
Disease: What to Expect." Dr. Karen Bell joins us from the Taub
Institute for Research on Alzheimer's Disease and the Aging Brain at
Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York
City. She is a leading expert on Alzheimer's Disease research and
treatment. Caregivers are invited to attend this casual and
informative session in person through the ElderCare Online website.
Those who can not attend at the specified time may e-mail advance
questions to rich@... or read the transcript of the
session the following day.

I look forward to seeing you in our chatroom! Remember, you don't
have to be a techie to join in. You can enter and sit on the
sidelines or dive right into the discussion.

Kind Regards,
Rich O'Boyle
ElderCare Online
"Tell me why - Show me how - Hold my hand"
http://www.ec-online.net

#50 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Fri Dec 8, 2000 5:13 pm
Subject: gifts for elders - OT
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Does anyone know of a web site for online purchasing of gifts specifically for elder folks?  Please email me off list if you do.
 
Thanks,
PatientSpirit

 


#51 From: swid89160@...
Date: Wed Dec 13, 2000 12:03 am
Subject: book
swid89160@...
Send Email Send Email
 
I am currently writing a book about my parent's disease. Mother has had
Alzheimer's for 15 years, Dad 3 to 5 years. They have been divorced for 40
years, but because of the disease, they are together again. In addition to
their history, I will be giving the caregiver's side to the issue. I am
writing to you to request any information you can give me about the disease
that I may be able to tell others in this book. If you want to include your
name, I can make a section devoted to caregivers from around the world. I am
hoping that this book will help those with the disease and those who are
caring for loved ones. It will include the good, the bad and the enormity of
the problem, for the nation and for individuals. Thank you. Susie Widmark

#52 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Fri Dec 15, 2000 1:14 am
Subject: "Well, are you?"
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
An Eye Witness Account from New York City, on a cold day in December:

 
A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store
on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering
with cold.
 
A lady approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you
looking so earnestly in that window?"

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.
 
The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk
to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if
he could give her a basin of water, soap and a towel. He quickly brought them to
her.
 
She took the little fellow to the private back part of the store and, removing her
gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.
By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon
the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs
of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said,
"No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?"

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and
looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question
with these words:
 
"Are you God's Wife?"

 


#53 From: ealalib@...
Date: Fri Dec 15, 2000 11:18 pm
Subject: Re: book
ealalib@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Susie,
  Hi, my name is Beth Laliberte and my mom has been suffering from Alzheimer's
for 9 years now. She was first diagnosed at the age of 51 years old. My
brother and I were the oldest, we were 18 at the time. My younger brother was
15 and the youngest, my sister was 13. My dad was only 45 when my mom got
sick. It has been a long road, but one that has brought my family even closer
than I thought possible. We are an extremely close family and this only made
us stronger and closer.
   We decided a long time ago never to put our mom in a nursing home. So we
now have a person live in the home to help take care of her. In the beginning
it was very tough. My mom had a very hard time dealing with it as she was
progressing in the disease. The first thing to go with her  was her language.
She was forgetting words, sentences, name of things etc.. This became
extremely frustrating for her. She would get very angry and could get violent
at times. We all knew that it wasn't her it was the disease but it was sure
hard watching her go through it.
   My sister and brothers and I took care of her for awhile to help my dad. We
bathed,dressed,toileted,groomed, feed her, all the time. The hard part was
that she fought us tooth and nail. We really believe it was because she still
had her pride and in her eyes her children shouldn't be doing this, it wasn't
right in her eyes. She never gave my dad a hard time. It just got to hard,
she was getting very violent with us. So we got someone to come in and live
with us and she is wonderful.
   I think the hardest part of this disease is it is a long, long, long,
goodbye. I often sit back and really try to remember my mom before she was
sick. I can't though. I really can't. That part hurts the most. Everyone
keeps telling me that when she is gone, then I will remember. I get angry at
this sometimes, because I don't want to hear that I will remember her after
she is gone, I want to remember her now. The other difficult part of this
disease, is you lose the person ever so slowly, and then they finally do pass
on and you lose them all over again.
   I am only getting started here, but I figured I would email you some of my
thoughts and experiences to start. I figure if you want me to add more or
help you in any way I can , please let me know. My email address is
ealalib@.... Again my name is Beth Laliberte and I would be happy to help
you.
   Sincerely,
     Beth Laliberte

#54 From: swid89160@...
Date: Sun Dec 17, 2000 3:19 pm
Subject: Re: book
swid89160@...
Send Email Send Email
 
That is such a sad story. I have the same troubles with my Mom. She and Dad
are both going through the same things that you mentioned.

What do you do about the violence? What is the provider like who came in to
help? Does she try to run away and if so, how do you keep her home? Does she
get real jealous and mean? Has she turned on your family members or siblings?

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Mother's first problem was diarrhea. Then she began forgetting her keys.

Susie

#55 From: "Tom Thompson" <tomthompson@...>
Date: Sun Dec 17, 2000 8:41 pm
Subject: RE: book
tomthompson@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Beth,
Thank you for sharing about your mom.  It  really helps to hear what others
are going through.  My mom was diagnosed 7 years ago at 72 years of age.
She doesn't bathe very often and my dad doesn't see to it that she does.
She also is very resistant to the idea of washing her hair, or changing her
clothes.  She has worn the same sweater for the past two months everyday.
My dad does not get her to change her clothes.  So hard to intervene when
your other parent, (in this case my dad) doesn't care.  He lives with her
and I know he loves her, but he is so oblivious to her it seems.  Not sure
when to step in.
My name is Janie and I can be emailed at tomthompson@...

#56 From: "Rich O'Boyle" <eldercareonline@...>
Date: Sun Dec 17, 2000 10:24 pm
Subject: ElderCare Beacon Digest December 15, 2000
eldercareonline@...
Send Email Send Email
 
ElderCare Beacon: Digest 12/15/00

Summary of the Contents of the ElderCare Beacon Newsletter for
December 1, 2000

Exercise and Chocolate?: You Can Have Both!
Hot Topic: Healthy Aging (Continued)
Featured Articles: Family Transitions and Home Care for the Holidays
Caregiver Support Network: New Poems by Dorothy Womack
Our Sponsor: Park Ridge Center
Top AD/Caregiving Sites: Signpost to Older People and Mental Health
Matters Journal
Live Discussion Groups: Schedule for December
Subscription Information

To read the entire newsletter online, please visit http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/beacon121500.htm

The newsletter is e-mailed twice each month to all subscribers free
of charge. You may subscribe to the newsletter at the front page of
the website at http://www.ec-online.net or http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/subscribe.htm.

ElderCare Online (http://www.ec-online.net) provides one of the most
comprehensive libraries of eldercare articles, practical educational
materials and supportive discussion groups on the Internet. For the
past three years we have been helping caregivers (especially those
coping with Alzheimer's Disease and related dementias) to maintain
quality of life for themselves and their aging loved ones.

Kind Regards,
Rich O'Boyle
ElderCare Online
"Tell me why – Show me how – Hold my hand"
http://www.ec-online.net

#57 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Tue Dec 19, 2000 2:02 pm
Subject: Fond Christmas Memories - OT
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
True story:  A number of years ago I had a cat named Dave.  At 8 months of
age he *celebrated* his first Christmas with us.  The tree went up with all
white lights, red bows, and dozens of red and white striped candy canes.  It
was so pretty.

We went to bed full of anticipation and joy; the kids with sugar plums
dancing in their heads, blah, blah, blah.

The next morning we found that not only had Santa Claus made a delivery, but
Dave decided he liked candy canes.  Every bow had been knocked to the floor,
scattered around the tree.  Every candy cane was gone; clear plastic wrap
scattered around.  The air was pungent not only with the scent of pine
needles, but also with peppermint.  Dave was off laying in the corner
looking very fat and burping.  He did not appear in distress; just very full
and tired.  He also had very nice breath.

That was the last year we decorated with candy canes.  Hehehe.....

Merry Christmas all,
Lynn

#58 From: Cleve & Linda <clevelin@...>
Date: Mon Dec 18, 2000 11:26 pm
Subject: Re: book
clevelin@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Tom:

I think the time for you to step in is now.  Your mother deserves to be clean
and have clean clothing.  Maybe you should suggest to your father that he hire
someone to come in at least twice a week and bathe her and also wash her hair
once a week.  Then she would at least have clean clothes twice a week.  Do you
suppose she sleeps in her clothes too.  Do some checking.  It might be that
your county has a free service that could accomodate her needs.

Linda/Oregon

Tom Thompson wrote:

> Beth,
> Thank you for sharing about your mom.  It  really helps to hear what others
> are going through.  My mom was diagnosed 7 years ago at 72 years of age.
> She doesn't bathe very often and my dad doesn't see to it that she does.
> She also is very resistant to the idea of washing her hair, or changing her
> clothes.  She has worn the same sweater for the past two months everyday.
> My dad does not get her to change her clothes.  So hard to intervene when
> your other parent, (in this case my dad) doesn't care.  He lives with her
> and I know he loves her, but he is so oblivious to her it seems.  Not sure
> when to step in.
> My name is Janie and I can be emailed at tomthompson@...
>

#59 From: ealalib@...
Date: Mon Dec 18, 2000 8:52 pm
Subject: Re: book
ealalib@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Susie,
   It was great hearing from you. As far as the violence goes, my mom went
through that about a year or so ago. She would get real violent with me and
my brothers and sister. Usually only when we care for her, (bathe, feed,
change, dress,etc.) I believe it was because she didn't want us to do but had
no way of expressing it. Anyway, it got real bad, but she went on Zoloft, an
antidepressant and it stopped right away.  She has been fine ever since. It
was real tough seeing my mom that way,especially because we knew she wasn't
like that. It was very hard on my dad at first because he didn't want to
believe she was that way with us. She was never like that with him. He saw me
with a fat lip one day and realized he had to do something. So he decided to
put her on an antidepressant.
   At first when the caretaker came to live my mom disliked her very much. But
after awhile it got better and she loves her now. The most important thing is
our caretaker truly loves her. She is like family to us, she takes care of us
all. She never has wondered really, but I guess that is just because there is
someone with her at all times. When she was alone in the beginning it wasn't
bad because she wasn't that far along. Once she got bad we always had someone
there with her.
   I hope I have answered your questions and I would love to be a part of
helping you in your book.
   Beth Laliberte

#60 From: swid89160@...
Date: Wed Dec 20, 2000 9:53 am
Subject: Re: book
swid89160@...
Send Email Send Email
 
It is true. My Mother gets this free service for in-home care provider
through the county of Monterey. She qualified for 12 hours per day but the
woman can only come for 8 hours per day. I am hiring a person full time as
live in to help me with the other hours. It will take all three of us to take
care of Mom, Dad and Grandma.

Dad sleeps in his clothes and must be coaxed into taking a bath.

Susie

#61 From: swid89160@...
Date: Wed Dec 20, 2000 9:57 am
Subject: Re: book
swid89160@...
Send Email Send Email
 
I have printed your letter for my provider, Anna, to read. Thank you for
sharing this and I'd like to be able to use your story in my book if you
don't mind me doing so. Let me know. It is so touching and a stark
alternative to putting your Mom away, which surely insures the death of her
spirit.

Thank you
Susie

#62 From: ealalib@...
Date: Sat Dec 23, 2000 10:58 am
Subject: Re: book
ealalib@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Susie,
   I am not sure if that email was directed at me or not. My name is Beth
Laliberte and I wrote to you about my mom being diagnosed with AD at the age
of 51. If it is me you were asking if you could include my letter in your
book, then yes, that would fine. I would be honored to have you mention my
mom. Let me know, if I am the person you were directing that email at.
  I hope your holidays are happy and bright and may you have a happy and safe
New Year. My whole family and I are going skiing over the Christmas holiday,
even my mom. We will all be together for the holdays and we look forward to
it. Anytime with my mom is a cherished time.
   Love, Beth

#63 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Sat Dec 23, 2000 11:18 pm
Subject: Santa stuff- VENTING - OT (actually whining)
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Not sure if Santa will come or not. Currently I am very pissed off at
Etoys.com.  On 12/08/00 I ordered Tekno the Robot Puppy for my 7 yr old
grandson, Sky, who REALLY wants this toy.  According to their tracking it
was shipped 12/11/00.  I have, since 12/17,  sent two emails to Etoys and NO
response other than a standard auto reply that they got my email and will
reply.

Will reply?  WHEN?  As of 3 days ago, the local stores are sold out.  He has
been a good boy; he has asked for this and he deserves it.  Today is Dec.
23.  It STILL HAS NOT ARRIVED!   I have left two emails for Etoys, with the
proper order number, etc., and NO response, and NO Tekno the Robot Puppy
has been delivered!

DO NOT trust Etoys, folks!

Lynn  (PissedOffSpirit, Venting, Who Is Not Feeling Very Patient When
Grandson Is Disappointed)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dick Barter" <rvb@...>
To: "Angelscot List" <AngelScot@egroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, December 23, 2000 4:10 PM
Subject: [AngelScot] Non-Scot


> Hey, anybody remember a thing called Y2K?
>
> Are we sure Monday is December 25th?  Will Santa Claus be coming or has
Y2K
> affected the North Pole and we don't know it?  I'm scared!  I want my
> Christmas on time!
>
> ;-)
>
> Dick, Willy, Haggis(RB 6/5/00), & Bobbi(RB 2/9/99)
> mailto:rvb@...   http://riscotties.com
>
>
>
> Community email addresses:
>   Post message: AngelScot@onelist.com
>   Subscribe:    AngelScot-subscribe@onelist.com
>   Unsubscribe:  AngelScot-unsubscribe@onelist.com
>   List owner:   AngelScot-owner@onelist.com
>
> Shortcut URL to this page:
>   http://www.onelist.com/community/AngelScot
>

#64 From: swid89160@...
Date: Wed Dec 27, 2000 4:41 pm
Subject: Re: book
swid89160@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Yes, Your story was very poignant and worthy of retelling for the comfort of
others in the same situation. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

Susie

#65 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:43 pm
Subject: Happy New Year from our home to yours!
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
#66 From: Pennie Wolf <penniewolf@...>
Date: Sat Dec 30, 2000 5:53 pm
Subject: Re: book,not me
penniewolf@...
Send Email Send Email
 
Sorry, wasn't me.
--- ealalib@... wrote:
> Susie,
>   I am not sure if that email was directed at me or
> not. My name is Beth
> Laliberte and I wrote to you about my mom being
> diagnosed with AD at the age
> of 51. If it is me you were asking if you could
> include my letter in your
> book, then yes, that would fine. I would be honored
> to have you mention my
> mom. Let me know, if I am the person you were
> directing that email at.
>  I hope your holidays are happy and bright and may
> you have a happy and safe
> New Year. My whole family and I are going skiing
> over the Christmas holiday,
> even my mom. We will all be together for the holdays
> and we look forward to
> it. Anytime with my mom is a cherished time.
>   Love, Beth
>
>


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos - Share your holiday photos online!
http://photos.yahoo.com/

#67 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Thu Jan 4, 2001 7:38 pm
Subject: Environmental Health Institute Scientists Begin To Unravel Cause Of Blocked Memory In Alzheimer's
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
#68 From: "Rich O'Boyle" <eldercareonline@...>
Date: Mon Jan 8, 2001 7:50 pm
Subject: ElderCare Beacon Digest 01/01/01
eldercareonline@...
Send Email Send Email
 
ElderCare Beacon: Digest 01/01/01

Summary of the Contents of the ElderCare Beacon Newsletter for
January 1, 2001

Exercise and Chocolate?: You Can Have Both!
Hot Topic: Caring for the Caregiver
Caregiver Support Network: New Poems by Dorothy Womack
Top AD/Caregiving Sites: Caregivers Hall of Fame
Live Discussion Groups: Schedule for January
Subscription Information

To read the entire newsletter online, please visit http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/beacon010101.htm

The newsletter is e-mailed twice each month to all subscribers free
of charge. You may subscribe to the newsletter at the front page of
the website at http://www.ec-online.net or http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/subscribe.htm.

ElderCare Online (http://www.ec-online.net) provides one of the most
comprehensive libraries of eldercare articles, practical educational
materials and supportive discussion groups on the Internet. For the
past three years we have been helping caregivers (especially those
coping with Alzheimer's Disease and related dementias) to maintain
quality of life for themselves and their aging loved ones.

Kind Regards,
Rich O'Boyle
ElderCare Online
"Tell me why – Show me how – Hold my hand"
http://www.ec-online.net

#69 From: "Rich O'Boyle" <eldercareonline@...>
Date: Tue Jan 16, 2001 11:11 pm
Subject: ElderCare Beacon Newsletter Digest January 15, 2001
eldercareonline@...
Send Email Send Email
 
ElderCare Beacon: Digest 01/15/01

Summary of the Contents of the ElderCare Beacon Newsletter for
January 15, 2001

ElderCare Forum: Multimedia Meditations, Guided Imagery and
Affirmations
Hot Topic: I, Caregiver Channel Launched (continued)
Learning Resource Guide: Managing Medications Safely
Respite Rewards: "Caregiving" Book for Forum Participants
Feature Articles: Support Groups Are Essential to Caregiver Wellbeing
and Wandering Tips
Caregiver's Voices: East Coast Caregivers Can Earn $100 for Their
Opinions
Top AD/Caregiving Sites: Caregiver's Army
Live Discussion Groups: Schedule for January
Subscription Information

To read the entire newsletter online, please visit http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/beacon011501.htm

The newsletter is e-mailed twice each month to all subscribers free
of charge. You may subscribe to the newsletter at the front page of
the website at http://www.ec-online.net or http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/subscribe.htm.

ElderCare Online (http://www.ec-online.net) provides one of the most
comprehensive libraries of eldercare articles, practical educational
materials and supportive discussion groups on the Internet. For the
past three years we have been helping caregivers (especially those
coping with Alzheimer's Disease and related dementias) to maintain
quality of life for themselves and their aging loved ones.

Kind Regards,
Rich O'Boyle
ElderCare Online
"Tell me why – Show me how – Hold my hand"
http://www.ec-online.net

#70 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Wed Jan 17, 2001 3:30 pm
Subject: problem visitors at our ALF's - what to do?
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
I need input, plz.

An elderly man, about 82, admitted his wife who has about stage 6 dementia
to one of our homes.  Betsy is a sweet and affectionate little woman whom
the staff adores.  William, the husband, is a retired engineer who work for
Ford Motor Company for all his career.  He is extremely focused, direct,
organized and to the point.

He chose one of our ALF's for his wife.  He showed us that while shopping
for ALF's he literally kept charts and graphs and notes on everything he
saw, heard and answers to his questions.  He counts every pill before he
brings monthly meds to us for Betsy, and charts the supply pill by pill.
Recently he gave us a hard time about why we give certain otc items such as
vitamin E at breakfast and not at lunch as he used to do.

Because Betsy is a wander risk, William periodically goes to our second
floor (which is off limits as it is staff quarters), and our basement (which
is also off limits for liability reasons), then directs my staff to open and
close main doors to check to see if he feels our security alarm is loud
enough.

He visits nearly every day, follows staff around as they are caring for
Betsy, asks constant questions and makes critical remarks.  This is then
followed by a nearly daily phone call to Spencer and me with a laundry list
of complaints like, "Lunch was served at 12:15.  Why was it not served at
noon like you said it would be when I agreed to place her with you?", or
"Why is Betsy's hair parted that way.  It is supposed to be parted this way,
"....and on and on.  Then, once a week, he comes to our door with a
typewritten list of the things he called us about, ........"for Betsy's
file".

All of this has been a tad frustrating for us and our staff, however we are
courteous to him, and were hoping as his faith in the good care we provide
Betsy becomes more obvious to him, he would back off a little.  Not so.

On Monday this week at 5 PM I got a call.  "WHERE IS YOUR STAFF AND WHY WERE
THE RESIDENTS LEFT ALL ALONE....ABANDONED!  WHY WASN'T THE DOOR ALARM ON?
BETSY OR ANY OTHER RESIDENT COULD HAVE WALKED OUT!"

Now, I happen to know that the staff was in the four-season room, in the
front of the house, having their weekly meeting.  I also happen to know that
the alarm WAS on, that he evidently didn't hear it, and that staff checked
and saw him come in.  They also took turns every few minutes checking on
residents who were seated in the recreation area of the kitchen quietly
watching TV.   William had a completely incorrect perception.  He never saw
staff and never heard the alarm.  His paranoia is alarming, and I am not so
sure that there is not a little early dementia going on with him.

Herein lies the problem.  William occupies an inordinate amount of our and
our staff's time and energy, better spent on our residents as a whole.  He
is well known and vocal in the community.  He also notates EVERYTHING and
gawd only knows what he may do with his erroneous notes and observations.
Betsy gets excellent care and is kept safe and loved.  How do y'all suggest
we deal with this guy to protect our reputation which is the backbone of our
business?  Engaging him in her care is not an option.  He already does
that.....to excess.

Thanks,
Lynn  (aka PatientSpirit)

#71 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Wed Jan 17, 2001 4:26 pm
Subject: Re: problem visitors at our ALF's - what to do?
Lsheldon@...
Send Email Send Email
 
PS:  Giving William jobs to keep him occupied is not an option.  He will be
having total hip replacement surgery this week, which will have him out of
commission for a while (small blessing for us?).

Also, asking him to place Betsy elsewhere is not an option as we are a very
small organization with only 12 beds and our census is down.  Not a good biz
move to ask him to move her.  Additionally, we have a reputation as the *St.
Elsewhere* of ALF's.  Our policy has always been that we NEVER ask anyone to
leave.

Lynn

#72 From: Ann <hawes@...>
Date: Fri Jan 19, 2001 1:57 am
Subject: Re: problem visitors at our ALF's - what to do?
hawes@...
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 How do y'all suggest
we deal with this guy to protect our reputation which is the backbone of our
business? 
Thanks,
Lynn  (aka PatientSpirit)

I've run into a few family members like this over the years. One thing that has helped a few times when nothing else would, was to call a meeting. Include the family member, the physician, key staff members (but only a few, so the family member doesn't feel "ganged up on"). Do you have an ombudsman that could attend also? Or someone from some sort of social services agency?
What this poor man needs is for an objective person to take HIS side, and then slowly guide him into the realization that his loved one truly is receiving good care.
Hope this helps.
Ann

#73 From: ealalib@...
Date: Thu Jan 18, 2001 6:19 pm
Subject: Re: problem visitors at our ALF's - what to do?
ealalib@...
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Lynn,
I just read your message and I am not sure if I have the right advice or
not, but I figured I would give it a shot.
 Maybe you could sit down with him and explain your concerns. Be open with
him and tell him how you  are feeling. Maybe asking him what he needs from
you and your staff to feel comfortable with his wife staying there.  What is
he feeling, maybe if you can approach it like that, it might be helpful.
 I hope this helps in some small way.

 Sincerely,
   Beth Laliberte

#74 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Fri Jan 19, 2001 3:16 pm
Subject: Re: problem visitors at our ALF's - what to do?
Lsheldon@...
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Thank you, Beth and all.  Your input is appreciated.

Lynn  (aka PatientSpirit)

----- Original Message -----
From: <ealalib@...>
To: <alzheimers_support@egroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, January 18, 2001 6:19 PM
Subject: Re: [alzheimers_support] problem visitors at our ALF's - what to
do?


> Lynn,
>  I just read your message and I am not sure if I have the right advice or
> not, but I figured I would give it a shot.
>   Maybe you could sit down with him and explain your concerns. Be open
with
> him and tell him how you  are feeling. Maybe asking him what he needs from
> you and your staff to feel comfortable with his wife staying there.  What
is
> he feeling, maybe if you can approach it like that, it might be helpful.
>   I hope this helps in some small way.
>
>   Sincerely,
>     Beth Laliberte
>

#75 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Mon Jan 22, 2001 9:36 pm
Subject: senior moment or caregivers dementia? OT - sort of
Lsheldon@...
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Ok, ok, I thought I'd give you all your chuckle for the day.

Most of you know Spencer and I do rescue of neglected and/or abused birds,
scottish terrier dogs, etc.  We re-hab these critters and use them for pet
therapy with our Alzheimers residents.  Doing right by these animals,
keeping them physically and emotionally well, keeping them well fed and
simply spoiling them comes second only after the quality care of our
residents.  It is time consuming, but it is, in a sense, our respite time
away from the sadness that is Alzheimers.

Today I had several tasks at home to do and a few errands to run.  I made my
*to-do* list and set about my day.  By 3 PM I still had not gotten to the
bank or supermarket, so I headed out the door.  Then I remembered Houdini,
our rabbit, was still out *sunning* in his hutch and needed to be brought
safely back inside before I left the house.  With bank deposit, grocery list
and car keys in hand, I rushed out the side door, grabbed Houdini, brought
him in, stuck the lil guy safely inside his cage and off I went.

An hour later upon arriving home, Spencer said to me, "Oh, isn't that cute!
Houdini is in the cockatoo's cage.  There he was.  Sitting in this huge bird
cage, just hanging out.  I had even put the clasp lock on the door.
Eleanor, the cockatoo sat perched up top on her play yard, cocking her head
and peering down at Houdini as if to ask, "What the HECK kind of a bird is
THAT, and what is he doing in MY cage?

Spencer and I laughed ourselves silly.  Houdini was nonplussed.

Lynn  (aka PatientSpirit)

#76 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Tue Jan 23, 2001 5:02 pm
Subject: Third Annual Caregivers' Reunion
Lsheldon@...
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Its that time of year again; time to start thinking about our annual
rendezvous to be held the weekend of June 8 - 10, 2001.  For all newcomers,
here is a quick explanation.

This get-together is for Caregivers of loved ones with Alzheimers or other
dementias, who have met online through a few different email support lists.
For the past two years, around 30 different online friends have made a
pilgrimage from all over the USA and Canada to Stevensville, Michigan, for a
relaxed, loosely structured, respite weekend just for themselves.  It is
sponsored by my ALF's, Bay-Spirit Acres Homes.  Naw, we are not a fig newton
of your collective imaginations; see www.qtm.net/~lsheldon ).

What joy there is the first time meeting someone with whom you have shared
your woes and tribulations, to whom you may have poured out your heart, or
someone you have helped along the Caregiving journey!  The hugs, tears, joy
and laughter abound at these reunions.  Many of the folks with whom you have
been exchanging emails have attended both our last reunions and hopefully
will again this year.  Additionally, we hope to have many more as well as
new folks join us.

Stevensville is a tranquil, little Norman Rockwell type of town near the
shores of Lake Michigan.  It is in southwestern Michigan, near the border of
Indiana, and a 90 minute drive from Chicago.  This is a very touristy area
in the summer, and quite beautiful.  Our sister town is St. Joseph.
Although two miles from a number of great beaches, we are semi-rural and
surrounded by orchards, vineyards and farm land.  This is known as the Fruit
Belt part of the midwest.  Some fine wine is produced here, and some of the
wineries have tours.  There are wonderful antique shops.  We also have
museums and a symphony orchestra.  I have added links about some of these
things below.  The best airports to fly in to are South Bend, Indiana or
Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Folks begin arriving on Friday.  (I am including a list of area motels below
which offer a corporate discount to Bay-Spirit Acres guests.)  From arrival
to Friday evening is free time.  You can tour our ALF's, meet our therapy
pets, tour the area, take a nap, or just do your own thing.  Then Friday
evening we generally go as a group to an Italian restaurant, eat, hang out,
gab, share photos of loved ones, take pictures of each other; etc.  There is
a bit of giggling; of course.

Saturday mornings we may do our own thing, or some of us may go to a resort
village on the lake to shop, gab and eat.  Saturday evening we generally go
all together to a fine area restaurant.  Sunday morning we meet for a
breakfast buffet, then hug a lot, say our goodbyes, and make our way
home..........tired in a sense, but filled with the joy of sharing, caring
in a relaxed, supportive environment with real friends who truly understand
what this caregiving thing is that we all do the rest of the year.  And, we
do it for love, after all.

I need to begin a head count in order to advise local hotels how many to
expect and especially in order to get the discount for y'all.  So check your
schedules, make respite care plans for your loved ones and plan to join us!
The anticipated cost for the weekend, including hotel and meals, but
exclusive of travel costs or any shopping you might do, will run a few
hundred dollars.  PLEASE do not respond to the lists, but email us privately
at Lsheldon@... .

Won't you join us this year?  You deserve it.

Spencer and Lynn Sheldon   (see links below)

http://www.qtm.net/sjwebcam/   St. Joseph web cam

http://www.sjcity.com/  and  http://www.sjtoday.org/   City of St. Joseph
(sister town to Stevensville)

http://www.swmichigan.org/    Southwest Michigan Tourist Council

http://www.multimag.com/city/mi/stevensville/   Stevensville

http://www.taborhill.com/    Tabor Hill Winery

http://www.heartofthevineyard.com/   Heart of the Vineyard Winery

http://www.smso.org/   Southwest Michigan Symphony Orchestra

#77 From: "Lynn Sheldon" <Lsheldon@...>
Date: Sun Jan 28, 2001 1:36 pm
Subject: get the box of kleenex ready and give this a listen
Lsheldon@...
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#78 From: eldercareonline@...
Date: Wed Jan 31, 2001 8:34 pm
Subject: ElderCare Beacon Newsletter Digest 2/1/01
eldercareonline@...
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ElderCare Beacon: Digest 02/01/01

Summary of the Contents of the ElderCare Beacon Newsletter for
February 1, 2001

ElderCare Forum: We Laugh to Survive
Hot Topic: Support On and Off the Internet
Respite Rewards: Caregiving Book Recipients
Caregiving Tip: Sundowning by Edyth Ann Knox
Feature Articles: Support Groups Are Essential to Caregiver Wellbeing
Alzheimer's Answers: Less Common Dementias: Understanding the
Differences to Improve Care
Top AD/Caregiving Sites: Leave `Em Laughin' Darlin' by Brenda Race
Live Discussion Groups: Schedule for February
Subscription Information

To read the entire newsletter online, please visit http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/beacon020101.htm

The newsletter is e-mailed twice each month to all subscribers free
of charge. You may subscribe to the newsletter at the front page of
the website at http://www.ec-online.net or http://www.ec-
online.net/Knowledge/Newsletters/subscribe.htm.

ElderCare Online (http://www.ec-online.net) provides one of the most
comprehensive libraries of eldercare articles, practical educational
materials and supportive discussion groups on the Internet. For the
past three years we have been helping caregivers (especially those
coping with Alzheimer's Disease and related dementias) to maintain
quality of life for themselves and their aging loved ones.

Kind Regards,
Rich O'Boyle
ElderCare Online
"Tell me why – Show me how – Hold my hand"
http://www.ec-online.net

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