Hi everyone, thought I’d share the following with you...some words of wisdom I found on the internet not about alopecia particularly but it applies just the same.

“What does it mean to survive? The word itself is a combination of sur+vive. These words have French roots meaning sur (on) and vive (life). The word literally means to "get on with life".

What does it mean to "get on with life"? To me it does not mean to simply exist. Merely existing does not convey living to me. A person can be in an emotional coma and still be in existence.

To me, living is about becoming part of life again. The ability to reconnect and enjoy life, not merely endure its hardships. Given the nature of traumas, it seems like the world stops when the bad thing happened. That stopping freezes one emotionally, spiritually and mentally to that traumatizing moment. The victim often replays what occurred. In replaying the events over in their mind, they are often hoping that it turns out different somehow. They keep doing what they have repeatedly done, yet expect a change to have occurred. Is that irrational? Yes. Even though it is irrational, we do it. Since the trauma involves emotion, the victim is not thinking in a rational manner.  Like a fairy tale, they hope in a miracle, or some kind of magic event that will alter their situation. Although the fairy tale may be entertaining, holding onto it is not living.

In order to live, one has to let go of those things that are killing oneself either physically, emotionally or spiritually.

In order to live, one has to connect with life.

In order to live, one has to give oneself permission to let go.

Resentments are a drain on your soul. If you want to live, you will have to let go of them.”

I lost the last of my youth to this disease because I reacted just like those words above. I can never get those years back. I hid myself away, feeling ashamed of the way I looked. My personality suffered, I became introverted and isolated. I rejected the love I received from family and friends because I couldn’t love myself. Was I a victim? You bet I was. I can continue to play that role but what sort of life would I have? Today I prefer to not let alopecia hold me back from doing the things I love. Yes sometimes it’s uncomfortable, sometimes I hate it, but I do it anyway. That’s the difference today. I’m no longer a victim.

Pat