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#45824 From: "nisha_sharma03" <nisha_sharma03@...>
Date: Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:08 am
Subject: The Birth Control Pill & The Breast Cancer Connection
nisha_sharma03
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#45823 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Tue Jan 1, 2008 12:03 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
Online Now Online Now
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Hi and thanks Clara. I'm still here, that's something. Hanging in there, as you say. But I don't believe in a god. I think this life is it, and when it's over, it's over. Without a heart, you cannot circulate blood, without lungs, you cannot breathe. And without a brain, you cannot think. Seems pretty obvious to me that when your brain is dead, you are dead. I don't believe in an after life. This life is all there is. After death, you cease to be. And sometimes, that's what I want - to cease to be.
 
Rich

cleardawn40 <cleardawn40@...> wrote:
Rich FYI everyday that you are still alive it gives me a sense of
hope. It helps especially when I get into that mode. Hang in there.

Clara

#45822 From: "cleardawn40" <cleardawn40@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:17 pm
Subject: Re: suicide
cleardawn40
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Rich FYI everyday that you are still alive it gives me a sense of
hope.  It helps especially when I get into that mode. Hang in there.

Clara
>
> Rich,
>   It feels like it's been forever since I've posted, but your
subject caught my attention. Believe me I completely understand your
desperation and pain. I won't lie there have been times when I have
felt the same and even prayed for God to take me home. I know now
though that it really isn't an option. We are all put here for a
reason and there is someone or something God has made you for and no
matter what that won't change so please don't give up. I will make
sure to pray for you and pray that God sends you some support. I pray
you experience God's divine comfort, peace, and love in Jesus name. I
hope I haven't offended you in any way by praying for you and as long
as it's ok I will continue and pls keep in touch we can support in
print at least. I also have messenger so if you do too just add me to
ur list and attach a quick note letting me know you're Rich from the
site. God Bless and take it one step, one breath, one second at a
time. Kenelia
>
> Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
>             Hi Nancy, I'm still here. I survived another morning of
wanting to kill myself. I don't know how many more I can survive. I
just want out of this miserable life. I'm always depressed, and I'm
sick of it. I can barely take care of myself anymore. Plus, my two
main supports, my older brother and my mom, are both pisssed at me
for starting to drink again. So I've lost my supports, and I have
nowhere to turn. I'm in a very bad state right now, and suicide seems
like the only answer. I can't help but feel that way.
>
>   Rich
>
> Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
>   JUST TRUST THAT IT'S GOING TO BE "OK" RICH REGARDLESS OF THE
SITUATION.  I'VE BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD AND HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM
AND IT SUCKS, BUT I GET JUST ENOUGH FROM MY DISABILITY TO GO TO A
NICE MOTEL ONCE A MONTH TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND JUST BE
ALONE.  ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME SO, I'M TRYING
TO TEACH MYSELF SOME TOOLS TO GET BY.  YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY RICH,
BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE.  FEEL DOWN AND LIKE YOUR LIFE IS
COMING DOWN AROUND YOU AND YOU JUST WANT OUT, BUT DON'T TAKE THE EASY
WAY OUT.  I JUST POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GIVING UP AND WAS
GOING TO END MY LIFE, BUT I GOT YOUR EMAIL TALKING ABOUT NOT DYING
AND BECOMING A VEGETABLE AND THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING TO NOT
TRY TO TAKE MY LIFE.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL I GOT YOUR
EMAIL ABOUT IT.  IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN I'D LOSE ALL CONTROL OVER MY
LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.  TALK ABOUT IT OR DON'T IF YOU JUST
WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, BUT I'LL WORRY IF I
>  DON'T HEAR FROM YOU!
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Never miss a thing.   Make Yahoo your homepage.
>

#45821 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:01 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
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Hi Nancy, I'm on Cymbalta, Zyprexa, Lamictal and Ativan. I am bipolar II, but I haven't had a hypomania in quite some time, because of the Zyprexa and Lamictal. I have stopped drinking, bu the thing is, I was on meds the whole time I was sober, over a year, and they did not help with the depression.
 
Thanks for wanting to help, Rich.

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
Hi Rich - What other meds are you on and are you bipolar?  I can help you more if I know these things.  Really I can help - I was once a drinker and your meds won't work if your drinking.  Please let me help.

#45820 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:14 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
Offline Offline
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The only thing you can do is keep on getting through.  I was p;anning my suicide last night but your email about becoming a vegetable has helped me be to scared to do it.  Just keep taking it one day at a time and your family may have given up on you but I won't!

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi and thanks Nancy. I'm still here. Got through another suicidal morning. That's something. But still feeling very down, with no way out of this miserable life I lead.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
RICH CONTACT ME DAILY SO I CAN HELP YOU.  I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND I UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS YOU ARE FEELING.  WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.  PLEASE, NANCY



 
Nancy
 


Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

#45819 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:11 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
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Is it "normal" to be going along just fine and feeling good and then just fall down like I have?  There is so much I don't understand.

cleardawn40 <cleardawn40@...> wrote:
---
>I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my
life.

I can truly relate to the suicidal thinking. Sometimes one step
forward and to steps back. I really don't have a plan. It's like I
wish I never was born type of scenerio. It appears now that I have to
get my meds on the very last day that I have them. This is something
new. I don't know if it is procedure that is changing or it being a
chance that I don't horde meds. What is so frustrating to me is
that I will be ok then I will fall backwards and feel more like an
adolecent than an adult. Like I am trapped in that phaze forever. I
had a crappy adolocence. MUST FOCUS ON PRESENT. I guess that is why I
am in therapy. It is a struggle but pretty much all the time it does
pass. I may not be facing anorexia but yes the key words to that
sentence is control. I am searching for some sense of control.

I hope this makes sense???
clara

> I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in. I pour my meds
out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't
take my life. I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to
end my life again the State would jump in and take control. This
bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am
facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life. I
am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting
all over again from scratch. Is it possible to have these set backs
when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right
way? I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have
to too!
>
> Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote: I've been feeling
suicidal lately, too, because my whole life is falling apart. But if
I can hang in there, maybe you can, too.
>
> My best to you, Rich
>
> geeleeus2 <geeleeus2@...> wrote:
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "claysmom0422"
> <claysmom0422@> wrote:
> >
> > I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship
> with
> > my son i'm giving up!
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Nancy
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.
Try it now.
>




 
Nancy
 


Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

#45818 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:01 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
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Send Email Send Email
 
Hi Rich - What other meds are you on and are you bipolar?  I can help you more if I know these things.  Really I can help - I was once a drinker and your meds won't work if your drinking.  Please let me help.

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi Nancy, I'm still here. I survived another morning of wanting to kill myself. I don't know how many more I can survive. I just want out of this miserable life. I'm always depressed, and I'm sick of it. I can barely take care of myself anymore. Plus, my two main supports, my older brother and my mom, are both pisssed at me for starting to drink again. So I've lost my supports, and I have nowhere to turn. I'm in a very bad state right now, and suicide seems like the only answer. I can't help but feel that way.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
JUST TRUST THAT IT'S GOING TO BE "OK" RICH REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION.  I'VE BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD AND HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM AND IT SUCKS, BUT I GET JUST ENOUGH FROM MY DISABILITY TO GO TO A NICE MOTEL ONCE A MONTH TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND JUST BE ALONE.  ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME SO, I'M TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF SOME TOOLS TO GET BY.  YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY RICH, BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE.  FEEL DOWN AND LIKE YOUR LIFE IS COMING DOWN AROUND YOU AND YOU JUST WANT OUT, BUT DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.  I JUST POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GIVING UP AND WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE, BUT I GOT YOUR EMAIL TALKING ABOUT NOT DYING AND BECOMING A VEGETABLE AND THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING TO NOT TRY TO TAKE MY LIFE.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL I GOT YOUR EMAIL ABOUT IT.  IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN I'D LOSE ALL CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.  TALK ABOUT IT OR DON'T IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, BUT I'LL WORRY IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU!



 
Nancy
 


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#45817 From: Kenelia Cook <kcook12953@...>
Date: Mon Dec 31, 2007 5:29 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
kcook12953
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Rich,
It feels like it's been forever since I've posted, but your subject caught my attention. Believe me I completely understand your desperation and pain. I won't lie there have been times when I have felt the same and even prayed for God to take me home. I know now though that it really isn't an option. We are all put here for a reason and there is someone or something God has made you for and no matter what that won't change so please don't give up. I will make sure to pray for you and pray that God sends you some support. I pray you experience God's divine comfort, peace, and love in Jesus name. I hope I haven't offended you in any way by praying for you and as long as it's ok I will continue and pls keep in touch we can support in print at least. I also have messenger so if you do too just add me to ur list and attach a quick note letting me know you're Rich from the site. God Bless and take it one step, one breath, one second at a time. Kenelia

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi Nancy, I'm still here. I survived another morning of wanting to kill myself. I don't know how many more I can survive. I just want out of this miserable life. I'm always depressed, and I'm sick of it. I can barely take care of myself anymore. Plus, my two main supports, my older brother and my mom, are both pisssed at me for starting to drink again. So I've lost my supports, and I have nowhere to turn. I'm in a very bad state right now, and suicide seems like the only answer. I can't help but feel that way.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
JUST TRUST THAT IT'S GOING TO BE "OK" RICH REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION.  I'VE BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD AND HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM AND IT SUCKS, BUT I GET JUST ENOUGH FROM MY DISABILITY TO GO TO A NICE MOTEL ONCE A MONTH TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND JUST BE ALONE.  ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME SO, I'M TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF SOME TOOLS TO GET BY.  YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY RICH, BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE.  FEEL DOWN AND LIKE YOUR LIFE IS COMING DOWN AROUND YOU AND YOU JUST WANT OUT, BUT DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.  I JUST POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GIVING UP AND WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE, BUT I GOT YOUR EMAIL TALKING ABOUT NOT DYING AND BECOMING A VEGETABLE AND THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING TO NOT TRY TO TAKE MY LIFE.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL I GOT YOUR EMAIL ABOUT IT.  IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN I'D LOSE ALL CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.  TALK ABOUT IT OR DON'T IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, BUT I'LL WORRY IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU!


Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

#45816 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:52 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
Online Now Online Now
Send Email Send Email
 
Hi Nancy, I'm still here. I survived another morning of wanting to kill myself. I don't know how many more I can survive. I just want out of this miserable life. I'm always depressed, and I'm sick of it. I can barely take care of myself anymore. Plus, my two main supports, my older brother and my mom, are both pisssed at me for starting to drink again. So I've lost my supports, and I have nowhere to turn. I'm in a very bad state right now, and suicide seems like the only answer. I can't help but feel that way.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
JUST TRUST THAT IT'S GOING TO BE "OK" RICH REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION.  I'VE BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD AND HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM AND IT SUCKS, BUT I GET JUST ENOUGH FROM MY DISABILITY TO GO TO A NICE MOTEL ONCE A MONTH TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND JUST BE ALONE.  ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME SO, I'M TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF SOME TOOLS TO GET BY.  YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY RICH, BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE.  FEEL DOWN AND LIKE YOUR LIFE IS COMING DOWN AROUND YOU AND YOU JUST WANT OUT, BUT DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.  I JUST POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GIVING UP AND WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE, BUT I GOT YOUR EMAIL TALKING ABOUT NOT DYING AND BECOMING A VEGETABLE AND THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING TO NOT TRY TO TAKE MY LIFE.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL I GOT YOUR EMAIL ABOUT IT.  IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN I'D LOSE ALL CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.  TALK ABOUT IT OR DON'T IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, BUT I'LL WORRY IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU!

#45815 From: "cleardawn40" <cleardawn40@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:47 pm
Subject: Re: suicide
cleardawn40
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
---
>I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my
life.


I can truly relate to the suicidal thinking.  Sometimes one step
forward and to steps back.  I really don't have a plan.  It's like I
wish I never was born type of scenerio. It appears now that I have to
get my meds on the very last day that I have them.  This is something
new.  I don't know if it is procedure that is changing or it being a
chance that I don't horde meds.   What is so frustrating to me is
that I will be ok then I will fall backwards and feel more like an
adolecent than an adult.  Like I am trapped in that phaze forever.  I
had a crappy adolocence. MUST FOCUS ON PRESENT. I guess that is why I
am in therapy.  It is a struggle but pretty much all the time it does
pass.  I may not be facing anorexia but yes the key words to that
sentence is control.  I am searching for some sense of control.

I hope this makes sense???
clara


> I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds
out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't
take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to
end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This
bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am
facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I
am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting
all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs
when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right
way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have
to too!
>
> Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:            I've been feeling
suicidal lately, too, because my whole life is falling apart. But if
I can hang in there, maybe you can, too.
>
>   My best to you, Rich
>
> geeleeus2 <geeleeus2@...> wrote:
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "claysmom0422"
> <claysmom0422@> wrote:
> >
> > I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship
> with
> > my son i'm giving up!
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   Nancy
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.
Try it now.
>

#45814 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:07 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
Online Now Online Now
Send Email Send Email
 
Hi and thanks Nancy. I'm still here. Got through another suicidal morning. That's something. But still feeling very down, with no way out of this miserable life I lead.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
RICH CONTACT ME DAILY SO I CAN HELP YOU.  I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND I UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS YOU ARE FEELING.  WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.  PLEASE, NANCY

#45813 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:02 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
JUST TRUST THAT IT'S GOING TO BE "OK" RICH REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION.  I'VE BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD AND HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM AND IT SUCKS, BUT I GET JUST ENOUGH FROM MY DISABILITY TO GO TO A NICE MOTEL ONCE A MONTH TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND JUST BE ALONE.  ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME SO, I'M TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF SOME TOOLS TO GET BY.  YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY RICH, BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE.  FEEL DOWN AND LIKE YOUR LIFE IS COMING DOWN AROUND YOU AND YOU JUST WANT OUT, BUT DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.  I JUST POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GIVING UP AND WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE, BUT I GOT YOUR EMAIL TALKING ABOUT NOT DYING AND BECOMING A VEGETABLE AND THAT SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING TO NOT TRY TO TAKE MY LIFE.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL I GOT YOUR EMAIL ABOUT IT.  IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN I'D LOSE ALL CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.  TALK ABOUT IT OR DON'T IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, BUT I'LL WORRY IF I DON'T HEAR FROM YOU!

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi and thanks Nancy. I'm just so sick and tired of feeling so down all the time. My life is crashing all around me. I love my home, but have to move out of it because I can't afford the rent anymore. I am almost broke. I don't know what to do. I want out of this life. But I guess the Ativan isn't going to do the job.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Rich - I know this because I was on 8mg of XanaX and I just got it refilled and took yhe whole thing in the morning and I wasn't found until the evening.  Xanax is much stronger then Ativan so, it wont kill you.  When I did it again with another med I'm on, it didn't kill me either but I was in a coma for three days.  Please keep reaching out Rich.  I'll help you I promise!!!!



 
Nancy
 


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#45812 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:21 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
Online Now Online Now
Send Email Send Email
 
Hi and thanks Nancy. I'm just so sick and tired of feeling so down all the time. My life is crashing all around me. I love my home, but have to move out of it because I can't afford the rent anymore. I am almost broke. I don't know what to do. I want out of this life. But I guess the Ativan isn't going to do the job.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
Hi Rich - I know this because I was on 8mg of XanaX and I just got it refilled and took yhe whole thing in the morning and I wasn't found until the evening.  Xanax is much stronger then Ativan so, it wont kill you.  When I did it again with another med I'm on, it didn't kill me either but I was in a coma for three days.  Please keep reaching out Rich.  I'll help you I promise!!!!

#45811 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:24 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
RICH CONTACT ME DAILY SO I CAN HELP YOU.  I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND I UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS YOU ARE FEELING.  WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.  PLEASE, NANCY

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi and thanks Nancy. How do you know that 90 pills of Ativan won't kill me? That's 45 times the highest dose I was ever given in the psych hospital. It's got to do the job.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
THOSE ARE THE SAME FEARS I DEAL WITH SO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!  90 PILLS OF ATIVAN WON'T KILL YOU, BUT IF YOU MIX THEM WITH OTHER MEDS WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU WILL DO TO YOUR MIND AND BODY.  WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS WORTH THE RISK OF BECOMING A VEGETABLE.  I'D RATHER BE GONE FROM THIS EARTH THEN LIVE LIKE A VEGETABLE SO THE RISK IS NOT WORTH TRYING IT OUT.  ONCE YOU ARE A VEGETABLE THE ABILITY TO END IT WILL BE GONE BECAUSE YOU WON'T KNOW ANYTHING IN A VEGETABLE STATE OF MIND.  JUST DON'T TRY IT AND KEEP REACHING OUT!!!!!!! 



 
Nancy
 


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#45810 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:17 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
Offline Offline
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Hi - I too have a dog that is not easy to take care of because he's like my baby so, he is very spoiled.  I got him right after I had my hystorectomy because I was so depressed that I would never be able to have another child.  I have a son, but he comes in and out of my life depending on what he needs from me, but there is a bond there and I know it would hurt him if I did anything to myself.  Rich on this site actually helped me alot because he spoke of becoming a vegetable instead of dying and my suicidal thoughts have really come to an end!

kaghos2 <kaghos2@...> wrote:
Hi I'm kaghos and I live alone.
    Over the summer it was real ruff on me to only work part time, I live 2 hour away from my pdoc and therapist. ( Va disability ). Then towards the end of the summer I was having phone bill problem. During this time my van broke down so now I have to get the American legion to take me there, but I couldn't get a hold off them, thing got worse and worse . Shaved my hair ( mine you I am a female ) I was in fact wanting to kill myself, the biggest thing that stopped me was my cat, it would be fair to him being trapped up in this apartment. With working part time it may be days before I would need to be back at work.. Needless to say my cat brings me comfort and to have some to care about.  
 
-------Original Message-------
 
Date: 12/29/2007 6:37:57 PM
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
 
I can't make those steps. I live alone, and so there's no one to give my meds to. Every morning I contemplate ending it all, by taking a full bottle of Adivan (about 90 pills). The only thing that gets me through is that I'm afraid it won't kill me, but will leave me in a coma or a vegetative state.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have to too!
 



 
Nancy
 


Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

#45809 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:04 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
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Hi Rich - I know this because I was on 8mg of XanaX and I just got it refilled and took yhe whole thing in the morning and I wasn't found until the evening.  Xanax is much stronger then Ativan so, it wont kill you.  When I did it again with another med I'm on, it didn't kill me either but I was in a coma for three days.  Please keep reaching out Rich.  I'll help you I promise!!!!

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
Hi and thanks Nancy. How do you know that 90 pills of Ativan won't kill me? That's 45 times the highest dose I was ever given in the psych hospital. It's got to do the job.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
THOSE ARE THE SAME FEARS I DEAL WITH SO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!  90 PILLS OF ATIVAN WON'T KILL YOU, BUT IF YOU MIX THEM WITH OTHER MEDS WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU WILL DO TO YOUR MIND AND BODY.  WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS WORTH THE RISK OF BECOMING A VEGETABLE.  I'D RATHER BE GONE FROM THIS EARTH THEN LIVE LIKE A VEGETABLE SO THE RISK IS NOT WORTH TRYING IT OUT.  ONCE YOU ARE A VEGETABLE THE ABILITY TO END IT WILL BE GONE BECAUSE YOU WON'T KNOW ANYTHING IN A VEGETABLE STATE OF MIND.  JUST DON'T TRY IT AND KEEP REACHING OUT!!!!!!! 



 
Nancy
 


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#45808 From: "nisha_sharma03" <nisha_sharma03@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:03 am
Subject: Questions To Assess Breast Cancer Recurrence Risk
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#45807 From: "girlfeblog" <girlfeblog@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:05 am
Subject: Sexy Models and Beauty Queens looking for Sugar Daddy!
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Yahoo! Groups - Date a sugar daddy or sugar baby.
Would you like to date a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Check out this club, join
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#45806 From: "kaghos2" <kaghos2@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:21 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
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Hi I'm kaghos and I live alone.
    Over the summer it was real ruff on me to only work part time, I live 2 hour away from my pdoc and therapist. ( Va disability ). Then towards the end of the summer I was having phone bill problem. During this time my van broke down so now I have to get the American legion to take me there, but I couldn't get a hold off them, thing got worse and worse . Shaved my hair ( mine you I am a female ) I was in fact wanting to kill myself, the biggest thing that stopped me was my cat, it would be fair to him being trapped up in this apartment. With working part time it may be days before I would need to be back at work.. Needless to say my cat brings me comfort and to have some to care about.  
 
-------Original Message-------
 
Date: 12/29/2007 6:37:57 PM
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
 

I can't make those steps. I live alone, and so there's no one to give my meds to. Every morning I contemplate ending it all, by taking a full bottle of Adivan (about 90 pills). The only thing that gets me through is that I'm afraid it won't kill me, but will leave me in a coma or a vegetative state.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have to too!

 

#45805 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:19 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
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Hi and thanks Nancy. How do you know that 90 pills of Ativan won't kill me? That's 45 times the highest dose I was ever given in the psych hospital. It's got to do the job.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
THOSE ARE THE SAME FEARS I DEAL WITH SO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!  90 PILLS OF ATIVAN WON'T KILL YOU, BUT IF YOU MIX THEM WITH OTHER MEDS WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU WILL DO TO YOUR MIND AND BODY.  WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS WORTH THE RISK OF BECOMING A VEGETABLE.  I'D RATHER BE GONE FROM THIS EARTH THEN LIVE LIKE A VEGETABLE SO THE RISK IS NOT WORTH TRYING IT OUT.  ONCE YOU ARE A VEGETABLE THE ABILITY TO END IT WILL BE GONE BECAUSE YOU WON'T KNOW ANYTHING IN A VEGETABLE STATE OF MIND.  JUST DON'T TRY IT AND KEEP REACHING OUT!!!!!!! 

#45804 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:53 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
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THOSE ARE THE SAME FEARS I DEAL WITH SO DON'T DO IT!!!!!!  90 PILLS OF ATIVAN WON'T KILL YOU, BUT IF YOU MIX THEM WITH OTHER MEDS WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU WILL DO TO YOUR MIND AND BODY.  WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS WORTH THE RISK OF BECOMING A VEGETABLE.  I'D RATHER BE GONE FROM THIS EARTH THEN LIVE LIKE A VEGETABLE SO THE RISK IS NOT WORTH TRYING IT OUT.  ONCE YOU ARE A VEGETABLE THE ABILITY TO END IT WILL BE GONE BECAUSE YOU WON'T KNOW ANYTHING IN A VEGETABLE STATE OF MIND.  JUST DON'T TRY IT AND KEEP REACHING OUT!!!!!!! 

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
I can't make those steps. I live alone, and so there's no one to give my meds to. Every morning I contemplate ending it all, by taking a full bottle of Adivan (about 90 pills). The only thing that gets me through is that I'm afraid it won't kill me, but will leave me in a coma or a vegetative state.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have to too!



 
Nancy
 


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#45803 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:35 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
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I can't make those steps. I live alone, and so there's no one to give my meds to. Every morning I contemplate ending it all, by taking a full bottle of Adivan (about 90 pills). The only thing that gets me through is that I'm afraid it won't kill me, but will leave me in a coma or a vegetative state.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have to too!

#45802 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:26 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] suicide
richardschmid
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Hi Nancy, I should probably do the same thing. I have a bottle of Ativan with about 90 pills in it, and every morning when I wake up I'm tempted to take them all and end this horrible life I'm living. But my fear of death creeps in, and I eventually get up and start my day.
 
Rich

Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...> wrote:
thank you all for your help.  i ended up giving all my meds to my mom for her to keep hidden from me as the temptation was getting strong for me.  i have already tried to take my life six times and i'm so glad i went to my mom and told her to take everything from me because i know in my heart i would not have woken up this morning as i was getting that bad.  thank you all for your help.  nancy

#45801 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:48 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
claysmom0422
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I'm taking some steps to make sure I don't give in.  I pour my meds out for morning and night and then give them to my mom so i can't take my life.  I was told after my last attempt that if I tried to end my life again the State would jump in and take control.  This bipolar has taken away so much of "my control" over my life that I am facing anorexia so that I'm "in control" of some part of my life.  I am fine for long periods of time and then I feel like I'm starting all over again from scratch.  Is it possible to have these set backs when you are bipolar even if you have your meds dialed in the right way?  I just don't know anymore, but I'm hanging in there so you have to too!

Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...> wrote:
I've been feeling suicidal lately, too, because my whole life is falling apart. But if I can hang in there, maybe you can, too.
 
My best to you, Rich

geeleeus2 <geeleeus2@yahoo.com> wrote:

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "claysmom0422"
<claysmom0422@...> wrote:
>
> I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship
with
> my son i'm giving up!
>





 
Nancy
 


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#45800 From: Rich Schmid <richardschmid@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:27 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: suicide
richardschmid
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I've been feeling suicidal lately, too, because my whole life is falling apart. But if I can hang in there, maybe you can, too.
 
My best to you, Rich

geeleeus2 <geeleeus2@...> wrote:

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "claysmom0422"
<claysmom0422@...> wrote:
>
> I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship
with
> my son i'm giving up!
>



#45799 From: "Rosemary" <rose25672000@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:53 pm
Subject: Re: suicide
rose25672000
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--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, Nancy Wheeler
<claysmom0422@...> wrote:
>
> thank you all for your help.  i ended up giving all my meds to my
mom for her to keep hidden from me as the temptation was getting
strong for me.  i have already tried to take my life six times and
i'm so glad i went to my mom and told her to take everything from me
because i know in my heart i would not have woken up this morning as
i was getting that bad.  thank you all for your help.  nancy
>
> natalie wilder <natalie2001wilder@...> wrote:          do not give
up, you are worth it !!!!!hang in there!!!!
>
> claysmom0422 <claysmom0422@...> wrote:       I had been doing so
well but with the weather and the relationship with
> my son i'm giving up!
>
>
> i felt the same way on wensday i had to give all my meds to a
friend to take home because i have been suicidal and paranoid and i
knew i could od on all my pills i have tried to take my life atleast
9 times so i know the symtoms and when i gave her my meds it was a
cry for help and it worked cause im still here so dont give up on
getting the help you need no matter what cause life is worth living
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
>
>
>
>
>
>   Nancy
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo!
Mobile.  Try it now.
>

#45798 From: Nancy Wheeler <claysmom0422@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:42 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] suicide
claysmom0422
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thank you all for your help.  i ended up giving all my meds to my mom for her to keep hidden from me as the temptation was getting strong for me.  i have already tried to take my life six times and i'm so glad i went to my mom and told her to take everything from me because i know in my heart i would not have woken up this morning as i was getting that bad.  thank you all for your help.  nancy

natalie wilder <natalie2001wilder@...> wrote:
do not give up, you are worth it !!!!!hang in there!!!!

claysmom0422 <claysmom0422@yahoo.com> wrote:
I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship with
my son i'm giving up!



Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.



 
Nancy
 


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#45797 From: "nisha_sharma03" <nisha_sharma03@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:46 am
Subject: Nine Ways to Reduce Breast Cancer Risk
nisha_sharma03
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#45796 From: "nisha_sharma03" <nisha_sharma03@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:45 am
Subject: Nine Ways to Reduce Breast Cancer Risk
nisha_sharma03
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#45795 From: "juanitacole2000" <juanitacole2000@...>
Date: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:41 am
Subject: Re: suicide
juanitacole2000
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--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "claysmom0422"
<claysmom0422@...> wrote:
>
> I had been doing so well but with the weather and the relationship
with
> my son i'm giving up!
>
hello my name is juanita, i am also bipolar,i just need to tell you
please don't give up, take it one day at a time,talk to someone like a
family member or friend your priest someone but don't give up! never
give up.
god bless you.

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