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#11961 From: poodlesbyjodie
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 4:20 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
poodlesbyjodie
Offline Offline
 
Emily,
I am in the rebellion right now.  The only thing I an taking is the
xanax.  You literally have to peel me off the ceiling without.  I'm
sick of the side effects.  They make you feel as bad as no meds,
just in a defferent way.  Good Luck.
I have just started this morning- so I may be way out there in the
next week or two.





--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "emilina21"
<emilina21@y...> wrote:
> Tina,
>
> Thanks for your response. I hope you are able to find a way
through
> this tricky period of time. All sorts of catch-22's arise in this
> illness, don't they?
>
> Emily C
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Tina Kunst"
<tkunst@a...>
> wrote:
> > Emily,
> >
> > Yes, I am currently doing the same and would not advise it.  I
> stopped
> > because the lithium made me sick and the weight gain.  I'm not
> depressed
> > yet, though I know I am on an up cycle and need to start my meds
> again
> > soon before the depression hits.  I don't know how long I have
and
> it's
> > a dangerous game I'm playing.  I should have never have stopped,
> but now
> > I feel stuck because I'm in the process of looking for a job and
> can't
> > afford to be sidelined for 2-4 weeks while I get adjusted to my
meds
> > again.  But I also know if I don't start soon, I won't care about
> > looking for a job.  So hopefully, I'll find one soon, start my
> meds, and
> > everything will be fine, lol.
> >
> > Tina
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: emilina21 [mailto:emilina21@y...]
> > Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:38 AM
> > To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
> >
> > Hi lovelies,
> > I've been reading lately, but never posted until now. I seem to
be
> > drifting into new terrain, becoming one of those patients who
skips
> > her medication. I swore to myself I would not succomb to the
urge,
> > but, damn it, Zyprexa rebellion has hit me hard. Since I (I know
> it's
> > ill-advised) quit the Z, I feel sharper, more alert, less dead
to
> the
> > world. No manic signs as of now. I'm afraid to admit to my
doctor
> > that I've altered my meds in this way. Any thoughts on skipping
> meds?
> > Does anyone struggle with this?
> >
> > Emily
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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#11960 From: poodlesbyjodie
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 4:15 pm
Subject: I take it everyone has problems leaving the house?
poodlesbyjodie
Offline Offline
 
I have just gotten worse and worse about leaving the house.  My
husband does the grocery shopping.  And I don't want visitors!  It
is like they are invading my space.  Is this a big part of bp? I
used to be a social butterfly- I live in a small community of 5000
and people here think or have thought that I moved!!

jodie

#11959 From: "emilina21" <emilina21@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 3:55 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
emilina21
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Tina,

Thanks for your response. I hope you are able to find a way through
this tricky period of time. All sorts of catch-22's arise in this
illness, don't they?

Emily C

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@a...>
wrote:
> Emily,
>
> Yes, I am currently doing the same and would not advise it.  I
stopped
> because the lithium made me sick and the weight gain.  I'm not
depressed
> yet, though I know I am on an up cycle and need to start my meds
again
> soon before the depression hits.  I don't know how long I have and
it's
> a dangerous game I'm playing.  I should have never have stopped,
but now
> I feel stuck because I'm in the process of looking for a job and
can't
> afford to be sidelined for 2-4 weeks while I get adjusted to my meds
> again.  But I also know if I don't start soon, I won't care about
> looking for a job.  So hopefully, I'll find one soon, start my
meds, and
> everything will be fine, lol.
>
> Tina
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: emilina21 [mailto:emilina21@y...]
> Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:38 AM
> To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
>
> Hi lovelies,
> I've been reading lately, but never posted until now. I seem to be
> drifting into new terrain, becoming one of those patients who skips
> her medication. I swore to myself I would not succomb to the urge,
> but, damn it, Zyprexa rebellion has hit me hard. Since I (I know
it's
> ill-advised) quit the Z, I feel sharper, more alert, less dead to
the
> world. No manic signs as of now. I'm afraid to admit to my doctor
> that I've altered my meds in this way. Any thoughts on skipping
meds?
> Does anyone struggle with this?
>
> Emily
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
>
> ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
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>
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#11958 From: poodlesbyjodie
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 3:41 pm
Subject: stopping all my meds
poodlesbyjodie
Offline Offline
 
I can;t ever get in to see my pdoc, and she has a nurse that doesn't
give a d.... Actually I think she is tired of messing with me.  She
needs to find a new area of nursing!!

So I get frustrated- and then the self harm comes in.  I made a new
appt. with the doc that i had while i was in the hospital- i semed
to get along pretty well with him.  He seemed to listen, (if they
have that ability) But it will be 3 weeks before I can see him.  ANd
i am out of 2 of my meds that my pdoc always gives me.  So I don't
have prescriptions to fill.

this has pushed me over the edge, so just decided to quit them all.
It seems all I ever do is beg someone for samples or refills.

my husband has to keep all the meds because if i have a bad day, i
will go and just start popping pills until I can sleep.  Which is
bad- one of these times I won't wake up! I don't want to kill
myself, i just don't want to have to deal with all the politics and
crap.

i am definately in trouble, wish me luck

#11957 From: Bonnie and Daniel <lost_inalaska@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 3:30 pm
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
lost_inalaska
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kay--
im not bp iether (though i am s.a.d., and they say that is in the bp family). but i am married to MR. BP, and i have some first hand experience of observing what it has been for him, dont know his early history totally, as we have been together only 6 years, but he was not dx until last july, now age 48, and he is rapid cycle, with a history of bp symptoms for the last 21 years or so.
 
he can cycle REALY  rapidly! sometimes multiple in a day, sometimes the manic can last for weeks, or the depression for months, sometimes he is higher and faster than a jet for only a few hours, and then crahses like a rock, and bounces right back up again within 30 minutes.there aer days i cannot tell which he is, cause heis alternating with depression and symptoms of mania. he can run hypomanic for hours, and when that happens i know he is going to iether crqash into depression soon, or jet out of sight again into mania.
 
and this is with his meds! needless to say we aer still working sith the pdoc on these issues. it makes him very frustrated trying to manage his life, yet he now has so much more control over what is happening, with the mes, that we both feel life is greatly improved for him since getting them last september.
 
they tell us it takes sometimes a year or two to get this balanced with meds. some dont ever find what works.  some find it on the first try (lucky ones!)
 
short story of it all is that there is no one answer to any bp question, except that they need to STAY ON THE MEDS! catherine is a great one for these kinds of questions due to her long experience and great intellect. another is mary. each has a different perspective, cause each has experienced life and bp differntly.
 
patience and hope are the keys to making it through all of this. that part i know from being the significant other of the bp. faith is a great asset for the bp. that i kow from watching dan and others who are bp. support is vital to all involved! it takes a lot of encouragement on some bad days, and a good bit of love on all days.
 
we keep you in prayer, as we do all here.
 
God bless you, bonnie and daniel

Kay Fielding <berners@...> wrote:
Thanks.
 
Let me ask one more question.  I am a little confused, and not being bipolar, I cannot answer this. 
 
If a bipolar person cycles are fast (say a complete cycle last 10 days) as a teenager, then they get older teenager or adult, can those cycles change to cycling maybe once every six, eight, ten months and then stay manic for weeks?
 
How long does the manic stage last for people?  Can it last for weeks or does it come, hit hard, and die?
 
I thought I'd ask the experts!  *G*
 
Thanks.
 
Kay
 


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#11956 From: Bonnie and Daniel <lost_inalaska@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 3:16 pm
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
lost_inalaska
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
kay--
no saint here!
i am often i, i think, his worst problem. but i do have a strong faith, and in that i believe God placed us together, and that, second only to my service to God, is my committment to husbands higher good. the hard part is to remember i can do none of that if i am not whole and well in myself. thats where i fail often. working on it though! and all of those in this group are appreciated for the information and support that comes from all the love and understanding here.
i too, hope your son can find someone who will love him well, and unselfishly. we all desire that in our lives. it makes all the difference!
God bless you,
bonnie

Kay Fielding <berners@...> wrote:
Wow Bonnie, YOU are a saint to love someone so much!  I hope my son finds a woman just like you.
 
God bless,
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:53 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

christina--
i do try. you have contributed to what i do know.
truth is i spend about an hour a day online researching this . i also go to our library, ransack the pdocs mind ( :D ), and pick the brain of anyone who is willing to share about this who has some idea of what it realy is/does.
 
i have good reason: MY HUSBANDS LIFE DEPENDS ON MY UNDERSTANDING, as does our marriage. he is often seriously depressed. i have learned in the last week that he has hallucinations much worse than he would ever confess in the past, and he has not told the pdoc or anyone else. the depth of fear of being judged or having to go inpatient is greater for him than what he has to endure when the world goes upspide down for him . if i do not understand what he is having to deal with, and learn what can be done to assist with that, he may never find a way to regain total control of his life.
 
you have all had the experience of someone who mattered to you passing judgement on you--finding your behavior as simply mean, selfish, ugly, or immoral. i find it totaly unacceptable to allow the man i love to have to live his life out with that happening. i know the soul of who he realy is. he is in agony over what has occured during manic times. and he lives in fear of the fearful times returning. THIS IS NO WAY FOR ANYONE TO LIVE.
 
so, yes, i do try to do my homework. this is the most important class i have ever in my life taken. the final exam is indeed a pass/no pass grade. iether i/we get it right, or he might lose his life. there's a lot of motivation in that one.
 
there is a great deal of good information at this site. i thank you all for the time it takes to send these emails. you are, unknowingly, educating many who may make a differnce some day in finding a treatment for this illness which might lead to real success in overcoming it for life. each time you go to your pdoc and tell them what does or doesnt work, each time you share with another bp who then asks thier own pdoc about something--these all feed the information river that may lead to a 'cure'.
 
God bless you all for hanging in there, and supporting each other.
bonnie
christina <reaverwoman@...> wrote:
bonnie you must have really done your homework to understand the bp
condition so very well!


love, christina.



--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, Bonnie and Daniel
<lost_inalaska@y...> wrote:
> this one begs a reply.
> bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and with
the logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER 
dream of acting out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would
NEVER  dream of stealing, may do so when manic. there IS proof of
this. the parts of the brain responsible for those choices are
seriously affected in some cycles. behavior which wuold never occur
to some as acceptable, suddenly becomes ok, and the reasoning needed
to prevent it, simply does not make sense to them at that time.
> had to say this bit.
> no more preaching.
> god bless you,
> bonnie
>
> patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
> Serena
> I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their misconduct
> erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral convicitons - if
you
> are basically honest, good etc you will display the same character
> being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar may
> exarbate your behavior.
> Larry
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain <no_reply@y...>
wrote:
> > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many many
years. 
> > i understand all the things you are saying about god and your son
and
> > his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to where i
> > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in our
heads
> > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with.  these
are
> > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" person thinks to
get
> > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and no one
has
> > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even get my
so
> > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for that
matter.
> > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have alot of
very
> > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray and do
> > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do, sometimes it
> > works but most of the time it does not work and we always come
back
> > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management classes
and
> > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you.  Love
serena
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
> > <berners@i...> wrote:
> > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we all
have
> > demons
> > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
> > >
> > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that creature
(or
> > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the person
> > writes like
> > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he is
crazy? 
> > How about
> > > Stephen King?
> > >
> > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those that
> > say "you are
> > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have those that
> > say "you are
> > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even the
bullet
> > to blow
> > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or a
loser. 
> > If you are
> > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You might
listen
> > more
> > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it doesn't make
it
> > true if
> > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give you right
> > information?
> > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other (who
might be
> > nuts)
> > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a parent or
friend
> > says it.
> > > Do people always give you infallible information?  It makes it
true
> > if you
> > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
> > >
> > > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are
anything but
> > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine that! 
You
> > are created
> > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then only the
> > demons, the
> > > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God doesn't
> > consider
> > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough that he
sent
> > his son to
> > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his best
son,
> > his very
> > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only because
he
> > felt you
> > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let you go. 
And
> > even if
> > > you are any other religion, they also say that you are saved
> > because you are
> > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only the
lying,
> > deceiving,
> > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to destroy you. 
Why
> > be
> > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
> > >
> > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's world, you
have a
> > purpose.
> > > And He allowed you to be created so that you could fulfill that
> > purpose.
> > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job.  So go
find
> > out what
> > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your life in
fear,
> > in
> > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You will feel
> > better about
> > > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help others.
> > >
> > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as bipolar,
went
> > manic at
> > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and stole
stereos
> > and
> > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is 17, they
are
> > discussing
> > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard for me to
> > deal with
> > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
> > >
> > > Thanks for hearing me.
> > >
> > > Kay
> > >   -----Original Message-----
> > >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
> > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
> > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
> > >
> > >
> > >   WOW.
> > >   that explains SO well the questions that have been haunting
me
> > for so
> > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help suppress the
> > demons, but it
> > > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
> > >   emily
> > >
> > >
> > >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central Daylight
Time,
> > > canislupus7777@y... writes:
> > >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to remove
> > yourself
> > >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to remove
yourself
> > soon
> > >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within you. It
> > visits you
> > >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your best .
> > Dimming
> > >     the light that those few occasions have to offer. It holds
you
> > and
> > >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no matter how
far
> > you
> > >     run or how hard you work for something better...the
darkness,
> > sooner
> > >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon that
> > consumes me?
> > >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me who
feeds it
> > so
> > >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my head from
> > draining
> > >     all the life inside my soul?
> > >
> > >     Canis...waya
> > >
> > >
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#11955 From: Erin Gibson <erinandtwo@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 2:04 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] thanks for the welcome
erinandtwo
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Emilina,
No question is ever too simple in this forum.  As you said yourself you are learning so much here.  You are amongst many that benefit from brave readers whom share their intimate experiences here. Feel safe and secure that if someone knows the answer to you inquiries either from experience or research that they will do their best to give you viable input.  I feel very fortunate having these postings sent to my mailbox all day, everyday.  They are like warm hugs from people who understand where I have come from and even those that have experienced where I am going.  Stay in touch here it is a priceless resource.
Greatfully,
Erin "prettycloudy" Gibson

emilina21 <emilina21@...> wrote:
Thanks for welcoming me.
I've enjoyed reading everything so far, and I have an inkling that
this group could potentially be as helpful to me as the pile of
psychology books I lugged home with me from the library after my
diagnosis. I'm seeing my pdoc today and will let her know about my
medication issues. I think I've only been rebelling against this one
medication because of the side effects. I've had no problems with my
others: Lamictal and Neurontin. That leads me to my next question.
Has anyone had any experience with these two drugs? The books can
only give me limited answers; I'd rather hear a more personal
perspective.

I'm stable now, feeling pretty darn good for a change. But at the
same time, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hearing your
stories helps me know I'm not alone in this. My first year of BP (I
mean my first diagnosed and medicated year--this struggle stretches
back to childhood probably) has been a year of rapid cycling, and the
last month has been my first real breather. It feels so good to come
up for air. I want to take this precious time of stability to educate
myself on my own condition. So if I ask a lot of seemingly simple
questions, that's why.

Thanks everybody,
Emily C


 




Erin Gibson
By His grace I am free to live, love and explore! 
As you take my hand LORD, I will hold on tightly!


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#11954 From: Michelle Petersen <chowten@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 2:25 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
chow101010
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Hugs to Tina. I will pray for you that your meds kick in before the
crash of depression.
Good things will come.

Michelle :-)
On Jul 1, 2004, at 3:18 AM, Tina Kunst wrote:

> Emily,
>
>  
>
> Yes, I am currently doing the same and would not advise it.  I stopped
> because the lithium made me sick and the weight gain.  I’m not
> depressed yet, though I know I am on an up cycle and need to start my
> meds again soon before the depression hits.  I don’t know how long I
> have and it’s a dangerous game I’m playing.  I should have never have
> stopped, but now I feel stuck because I’m in the process of looking
> for a job and can’t afford to be sidelined for 2-4 weeks while I get
> adjusted to my meds again.  But I also know if I don’t start soon, I
> won’t care about looking for a job.  So hopefully, I’ll find one soon,
> start my meds, and everything will be fine, lol.
>
>  
>
> Tina
>
>  
>
>  
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: emilina21 [mailto:emilina21@...]
>  Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:38 AM
> To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
>
>  
>
> Hi lovelies,
>  I've been reading lately, but never posted until now. I seem to be
>  drifting into new terrain, becoming one of those patients who skips
>  her medication. I swore to myself I would not succomb to the urge,
>  but, damn it, Zyprexa rebellion has hit me hard. Since I (I know it's
>  ill-advised) quit the Z, I feel sharper, more alert, less dead to the
>  world. No manic signs as of now. I'm afraid to admit to my doctor
>  that I've altered my meds in this way. Any thoughts on skipping meds?
>  Does anyone struggle with this?
>
> Emily 
>
>
>
>
>
>
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#11953 From: "christina" <reaverwoman@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 2:23 pm
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
reaverwoman
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yes, of course you may!

anything posted here must be considered public property since the
group is open for viewing to all...

so no one post stuff you want to publish is my real point, ok?


love, christina.

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
<berners@i...> wrote:
> Thanks Christina.  Can I share your views?
>
> Kay
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: christina [mailto:reaverwoman@h...]
>   Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2004 6:09 AM
>   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>
>
>   unfortunately kay there are no absolute patterns in bp, only the
very
>   general ones like rapid cycler or bp 1 and 2...
>
>   every manic episode i have had has been different, and my bp is
>   evolving as i grow older, luckily for me i seem to be getting less
>   mania prone, but with others it could be opposite.
>
>   also meds slow the disease's progress so if they have not been on
>   meds much till late adulthood, say, their bp would have grown
worse
>   than someone who began meds in their teens...
>
>   there are just too many variables to consider to have a single
answer
>   kay, sorry!
>
>
>   love, christina.
>
>   --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
>   <berners@i...> wrote:
>   > Thanks.
>   >
>   > Let me ask one more question.  I am a little confused, and not
being
>   > bipolar, I cannot answer this.
>   >
>   > If a bipolar person cycles are fast (say a complete cycle last
10
>   days) as a
>   > teenager, then they get older teenager or adult, can those
cycles
>   change to
>   > cycling maybe once every six, eight, ten months and then stay
manic
>   for
>   > weeks?
>   >
>   > How long does the manic stage last for people?  Can it last for
>   weeks or
>   > does it come, hit hard, and die?
>   >
>   > I thought I'd ask the experts!  *G*
>   >
>   > Thanks.
>   >
>   > Kay
>   >   -----Original Message-----
>   >   From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>   >   Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:34 PM
>   >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   >   Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>   >
>   >
>   >   kay--
>   >   be my guest.
>   >   God bless ou,
>   >   bonnie
>   >
>   >   Kay Fielding <berners@i...> wrote:
>   >     Bonnie:
>   >
>   >     I have researched BPD also, and you are right on entirely.
May
>   I share
>   > your post?
>   >
>   >     Kay
>   >       -----Original Message-----
>   >       From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>   >       Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2004 8:48 PM
>   >       To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   >       Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>   >
>   >
>   >       this one begs a reply.
>   >       bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability,
and
>   with the
>   > logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER
dream
>   of acting
>   > out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER  dream of
>   stealing,
>   > may do so when manic. there IS proof of this. the parts of the
brain
>   > responsible for those choices are seriously affected in some
cycles.
>   > behavior which wuold never occur to some as acceptable, suddenly
>   becomes ok,
>   > and the reasoning needed to prevent it, simply does not make
sense
>   to them
>   > at that time.
>   >       had to say this bit.
>   >       no more preaching.
>   >       god bless you,
>   >       bonnie
>   >
>   >       patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
>   >         Serena
>   >         I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for
their
>   misconduct
>   >         erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral
>   convicitons - if
>   > you
>   >         are basically honest, good etc you will display the same
>   character
>   >         being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue,
biploar
>   may
>   >         exarbate your behavior.
>   >         Larry
>   >
>   >         --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain
>   <no_reply@y...>
>   > wrote:
>   >         > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for
many
>   many
>   > years.
>   >         > i understand all the things you are saying about god
and
>   your son
>   > and
>   >         > his demons and all of this but i have never gone
manic to
>   where i
>   >         > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put
in
>   our heads
>   >         > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up
with.
>   these
>   > are
>   >         > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL"
person
>   thinks to
>   > get
>   >         > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life
and
>   no one
>   > has
>   >         > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant
even
>   get my so
>   >         > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try
for
>   that
>   > matter.
>   >         > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we
have
>   alot of
>   > very
>   >         > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we
pray
>   and do
>   >         > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do,
>   sometimes it
>   >         > works but most of the time it does not work and we
always
>   come
>   > back
>   >         > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger
management
>   classes
>   > and
>   >         > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and
you.
>   Love
>   > serena
>   >         >
>   >         >
>   >         >
>   >         >
>   >         >
>   >         > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay
Fielding"
>   >         > <berners@i...> wrote:
>   >         > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think
that we
>   all have
>   >         > demons
>   >         > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
>   >         > >
>   >         > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is
that
>   creature
>   > (or
>   >         > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If
the
>   person
>   >         > writes like
>   >         > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that
he
>   is crazy?
>   >         > How about
>   >         > > Stephen King?
>   >         > >
>   >         > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have
those
>   that
>   >         > say "you are
>   >         > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have
>   those that
>   >         > say "you are
>   >         > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth
even
>   the
>   > bullet
>   >         > to blow
>   >         > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or
wrong or
>   a loser.
>   >         > If you are
>   >         > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.
You
>   might
>   > listen
>   >         > more
>   >         > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it
>   doesn't make
>   > it
>   >         > true if
>   >         > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always
give
>   you right
>   >         > information?
>   >         > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant
other
>   (who might
>   > be
>   >         > nuts)
>   >         > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a
>   parent or
>   > friend
>   >         > says it.
>   >         > > Do people always give you infallible information?
It
>   makes it
>   > true
>   >         > if you
>   >         > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
>   >         > >
>   >         > > Why in the world would you want to believe that you
are
>   anything
>   > but
>   >         > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.
Imagine
>   that!  You
>   >         > are created
>   >         > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then
>   only the
>   >         > demons, the
>   >         > > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.
God
>   doesn't
>   >         > consider
>   >         > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough
>   that he
>   > sent
>   >         > his son to
>   >         > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son,
his
>   best son,
>   >         > his very
>   >         > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him
only
>   because he
>   >         > felt you
>   >         > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let
>   you go.
>   > And
>   >         > even if
>   >         > > you are any other religion, they also say that you
are
>   saved
>   >         > because you are
>   >         > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?
Only
>   the
>   > lying,
>   >         > deceiving,
>   >         > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to
>   destroy you.
>   > Why
>   >         > be
>   >         > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
>   >         > >
>   >         > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's
>   world, you
>   > have a
>   >         > purpose.
>   >         > > And He allowed you to be created so that you could
>   fulfill that
>   >         > purpose.
>   >         > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that
job.
>   So go
>   > find
>   >         > out what
>   >         > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all
your
>   life in
>   > fear,
>   >         > in
>   >         > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You
>   will feel
>   >         > better about
>   >         > > yourself when you help others.  We were created to
help
>   others.
>   >         > >
>   >         > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as
>   bipolar,
>   > went
>   >         > manic at
>   >         > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and
>   stole
>   > stereos
>   >         > and
>   >         > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is
>   17, they
>   > are
>   >         > discussing
>   >         > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is
hard
>   for me to
>   >         > deal with
>   >         > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
>   >         > >
>   >         > > Thanks for hearing me.
>   >         > >
>   >         > > Kay
>   >         > >   -----Original Message-----
>   >         > >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
>   >         > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
>   >         > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   >         > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon
within
>   >         > >
>   >         > >
>   >         > >   WOW.
>   >         > >   that explains SO well the questions that have been
>   haunting me
>   >         > for so
>   >         > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help
>   suppress the
>   >         > demons, but it
>   >         > > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
>   >         > >   emily
>   >         > >
>   >         > >
>   >         > >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central
>   Daylight
>   > Time,
>   >         > > canislupus7777@y... writes:
>   >         > >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first
have to
>   remove
>   >         > yourself
>   >         > >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to
>   remove
>   > yourself
>   >         > soon
>   >         > >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live
within
>   you. It
>   >         > visits you
>   >         > >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in
your
>   best .
>   >         > Dimming
>   >         > >     the light that those few occasions have to
offer.
>   It holds
>   > you
>   >         > and
>   >         > >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no
>   matter how
>   > far
>   >         > you
>   >         > >     run or how hard you work for something
better...the
>   > darkness,
>   >         > sooner
>   >         > >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the
demon
>   that
>   >         > consumes me?
>   >         > >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's
me
>   who feeds
>   > it
>   >         > so
>   >         > >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside
my
>   head from
>   >         > draining
>   >         > >     all the life inside my soul?
>   >         > >
>   >         > >     Canis...waya
>   >         > >
>   >         > >
>   >         > >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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#11952 From: "emilina21" <emilina21@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 1:52 pm
Subject: thanks for the welcome
emilina21
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Thanks for welcoming me.
I've enjoyed reading everything so far, and I have an inkling that
this group could potentially be as helpful to me as the pile of
psychology books I lugged home with me from the library after my
diagnosis. I'm seeing my pdoc today and will let her know about my
medication issues. I think I've only been rebelling against this one
medication because of the side effects. I've had no problems with my
others: Lamictal and Neurontin. That leads me to my next question.
Has anyone had any experience with these two drugs? The books can
only give me limited answers; I'd rather hear a more personal
perspective.

I'm stable now, feeling pretty darn good for a change. But at the
same time, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hearing your
stories helps me know I'm not alone in this. My first year of BP (I
mean my first diagnosed and medicated year--this struggle stretches
back to childhood probably) has been a year of rapid cycling, and the
last month has been my first real breather. It feels so good to come
up for air. I want to take this precious time of stability to educate
myself on my own condition. So if I ask a lot of seemingly simple
questions, that's why.

Thanks everybody,
Emily C

#11951 From: "Kay Fielding" <berners@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 1:31 pm
Subject: The demon within...TRIGGERS
kythe_berners
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Wow, Jeryl, what a story.  It seems that being sexually abused is a key factor in life for you.  It surely was for me! 
 
I was sexually abused from maybe three (I don't remember when it first started with my dad) all the way until I was 25 or maybe older.  After having a baby in my early 20s and being torn all the way up an inch into my uterus, and the ob/gyn sewing straight for over an hour without stopping to rest, he told me no sex for six weeks and then he would decide if I could start again then, but he wanted to see how the healing was going.  When I stopped bleeding about 2 weeks after my son was born, my ex decided it was time and I owed it to him.  So he did it.  He was a very largely built man in that area, way larger than average.  I cried while he did it, and I begged him to stop and begged him to stop hurting me.  It makes me sick to my stomach to remember it even today.  I started bleeding furiously.  It was not fun.  If you are going to be raped, it would have been much better to have not just had surgery on the raped part.  My father was the first person and did things to me until I left home.  Then a stranger.  Then my brother or maybe my brother was in there before that.  Then a neighbor boy down the street.  He was 16; I was 12.  Then my uncle tried.  He was 40 or something, and I was 15.  Then another stranger.  Oh, I forgot the two guys when I was 12 or 13.  There were more that I also forget.  I did not have a really good childhood.  Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard, but my mother said I was at fault.  I didn't know how to protect myself, she didn't teach me, nobody did, and I didn't know how to keep myself out of situations that it happened.  I just blindly went my way in life, and I was sexually assaulted or abused repeatedly where ever I went--in my own house, my dad's car, my bathroom, at a public library, at a public pool, at the neighbor's house, in front of the neighbor's house, on a public bus I was nearly raped by the bus driver, oh I could go on.  I wasn't a particularly beautiful child or anything, but I was definitely marked as victim who probably wouldn't talk.  Who did I have to talk to?  My mother said it was my fault.  She wouldn't allow me to talk about it to her.  Her attitude was that I was asking for it, and if I didn't want it to happen, I could stop it.  But since I didn't stop it, I wanted it.  My dad was doing it.  My brother did too.  All I knew is that it was going to happen.  I finally came to the conclusion that I was a siren--what else could I conclude?  And I got very sexually active.  I wanted it (my mom said, my dad said) and so I started doing it since I knew I wanted it.  I was raised in an upper-middle class and upper class life.  That gave them lots of chances as they have more places to hide.
 
I knew I was messed up, but didn't realize it until I hit about 30, but I didn't know to what extent.  I kept seeking help.  Nothing went through the walls I had put up.  It was as if I had brick walls 10' high that surrounded me in circles so that nobody could get through.  They had been put up brick by brick and were built by me.  Nobody could get through.  But I kept helping myself.  I did a lot of reading, and I discovered that it really wasn't my fault, and my mother was dead wrong.  And my dad, saying he abused me because I wanted it, was dead wrong.  He was a sexual predator, and I was a baby who had no idea even what sex was.  I was a little kid without sexual ideas.  Little kids don't have a sex drive.  So what was I seeking out of this?  Nothing!  I could seek nothing because it wasn't what I wanted.  Perverts were attracted to me because my dad opened that door, and then I had it written on my face.  Perverts learn early who will be victimized and who will not.  It keeps them out of trouble.  So I became victim more and more.  I was set up for it, expected it, and got it.
 
I did a lot of healing through my church.  We had alter calls, and I went up very often.  I wanted healing, and I prayed for it and sought it every chance I got.  Lots of times, nobody knew what it was that I was praying for, but I prayed and I talked to God and I wanted to be average.  I knew that sleeping around with anyone, demanding sex all the time, and having hours of it at times, was not normal.  People told me they couldn't believe what I did, and I didn't want so many one night stands.  By then, I'd been married several times.  Nobody could satisfy my sexual desire, and even when it was satisfied, and someone said they wanted more, I was sick of it.  It was far, far too abnormal and even when I got more than I wanted naturally, I still wasn't satisfied. 
 
But then I went to a seminar that really changed things for me.  It was horrible to experience what I did, but it changed things.  I still kind of hate the man who put it on for letting me go through my "awakening" alone, and I don't know how I made it through it, but I realized at that time that I wasn't at fault at all.  I actually went into shock from what happened, drove off, and couldn't even drive, and had to pull over I was sobbing so much.  I felt dizzy I was so incredibly upset, and I don't know how I got home.  I don't remember much.  But when I came out on the other side, I was on the road to recovery.  I don't remember the trigger that he did that caused it, but it was very, very painful.  I realized that others, who were users, were using me.  I was innocent
 
I still have my issues that I deal with, and I still need to work on them.  But I am far, far better than I was.  I have learned, through my son's BPD, to stand up and insist that I have rights.  I will be listened to.  I have not learned yet to be a leader, though I am learning.  I always had it in me to do that, but the damage done by being abused has been hard to overcome.  And it has affected my life adversely and even my children.  Abuse teaches you to follow not lead.  So learning to lead was a slow process, and still others ignore me.
 
You need to read about abuse.  You need to go to abuse groups.  You can get well if you want to.  It doesn't matter who did what to you, you were not at fault.  Did you go and ask them to do it again the second time?  Probably not.  And even if you did, you were taught to do that.  So you are not at fault in any way.  Kids are followers.  You learned to do what you learned to do from others especially the adults around you.  That is how we learn.  If they taught you to be sexual even if you were not, then you learned to do it because it was normal to them, and you were learning normal from them.  You thought it was because your adult teachers told you it was normal.  THEY taught you.  You did not seek it out at a normal age in a normal way.  You were taught to do it.  You are not at fault.  You are not at fault.  You are not at fault.  So go get help.
 
If someone who had power over you, took a whip and beat you until you bled and cut deep wounds into your back, and if you had scars from it, would you feel it was your fault that they abused you to that point?  No!  Not even if you deserved punishment do you deserve scars.  You did not deserve the punishment that was put on you.  It left scars.  Go get help.  You were an innocent victim.  And those victimizers are STILL victimizing your life.  Do you really want them to win?  You need to let them go!  Get help and get healed.
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: socialmom1947@... [mailto:socialmom1947@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:46 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within...TRIGGERS

Unfortunately I think most of us have our demons. My demons are baried so deep that the rage just simmers at the surfice like a bubbling volcano and my sadness is untouchable. I was sexually abused from the age of 3 to 6, verbably and physically abused by my mother and a battered wife for 23 yrs. I have built so many walls around me  it is pitaful. I would give my life to tear them down and deal with my demons, I life by my intellect
Well over 80% of the mentally illy were sexaully abused, that is scarey
Jeryl


#11950 From: "Kay Fielding" <berners@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 1:31 pm
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
kythe_berners
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Thanks Christina.  Can I share your views?
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: christina [mailto:reaverwoman@...]
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2004 6:09 AM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

unfortunately kay there are no absolute patterns in bp, only the very
general ones like rapid cycler or bp 1 and 2...

every manic episode i have had has been different, and my bp is
evolving as i grow older, luckily for me i seem to be getting less
mania prone, but with others it could be opposite.

also meds slow the disease's progress so if they have not been on
meds much till late adulthood, say, their bp would have grown worse
than someone who began meds in their teens...

there are just too many variables to consider to have a single answer
kay, sorry!


love, christina.

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
<berners@i...> wrote:
> Thanks.
>
> Let me ask one more question.  I am a little confused, and not being
> bipolar, I cannot answer this.
>
> If a bipolar person cycles are fast (say a complete cycle last 10
days) as a
> teenager, then they get older teenager or adult, can those cycles
change to
> cycling maybe once every six, eight, ten months and then stay manic
for
> weeks?
>
> How long does the manic stage last for people?  Can it last for
weeks or
> does it come, hit hard, and die?
>
> I thought I'd ask the experts!  *G*
>
> Thanks.
>
> Kay
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>   Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:34 PM
>   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>
>
>   kay--
>   be my guest.
>   God bless ou,
>   bonnie
>
>   Kay Fielding <berners@i...> wrote:
>     Bonnie:
>
>     I have researched BPD also, and you are right on entirely.  May
I share
> your post?
>
>     Kay
>       -----Original Message-----
>       From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>       Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2004 8:48 PM
>       To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>       Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>
>
>       this one begs a reply.
>       bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and
with the
> logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER  dream
of acting
> out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER  dream of
stealing,
> may do so when manic. there IS proof of this. the parts of the brain
> responsible for those choices are seriously affected in some cycles.
> behavior which wuold never occur to some as acceptable, suddenly
becomes ok,
> and the reasoning needed to prevent it, simply does not make sense
to them
> at that time.
>       had to say this bit.
>       no more preaching.
>       god bless you,
>       bonnie
>
>       patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
>         Serena
>         I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their
misconduct
>         erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral
convicitons - if
> you
>         are basically honest, good etc you will display the same
character
>         being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar
may
>         exarbate your behavior.
>         Larry
>
>         --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain
<no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
>         > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many
many
> years.
>         > i understand all the things you are saying about god and
your son
> and
>         > his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to
where i
>         > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in
our heads
>         > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with. 
these
> are
>         > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" person
thinks to
> get
>         > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and
no one
> has
>         > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even
get my so
>         > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for
that
> matter.
>         > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have
alot of
> very
>         > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray
and do
>         > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do,
sometimes it
>         > works but most of the time it does not work and we always
come
> back
>         > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management
classes
> and
>         > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you. 
Love
> serena
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
>         > <berners@i...> wrote:
>         > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we
all have
>         > demons
>         > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
>         > >
>         > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that
creature
> (or
>         > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the
person
>         > writes like
>         > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he
is crazy?
>         > How about
>         > > Stephen King?
>         > >
>         > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those
that
>         > say "you are
>         > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have
those that
>         > say "you are
>         > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even
the
> bullet
>         > to blow
>         > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or
a loser.
>         > If you are
>         > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You
might
> listen
>         > more
>         > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it
doesn't make
> it
>         > true if
>         > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give
you right
>         > information?
>         > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other
(who might
> be
>         > nuts)
>         > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a
parent or
> friend
>         > says it.
>         > > Do people always give you infallible information?  It
makes it
> true
>         > if you
>         > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
>         > >
>         > > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are
anything
> but
>         > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine
that!  You
>         > are created
>         > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then
only the
>         > demons, the
>         > > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God
doesn't
>         > consider
>         > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough
that he
> sent
>         > his son to
>         > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his
best son,
>         > his very
>         > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only
because he
>         > felt you
>         > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let
you go.
> And
>         > even if
>         > > you are any other religion, they also say that you are
saved
>         > because you are
>         > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only
the
> lying,
>         > deceiving,
>         > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to
destroy you.
> Why
>         > be
>         > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
>         > >
>         > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's
world, you
> have a
>         > purpose.
>         > > And He allowed you to be created so that you could
fulfill that
>         > purpose.
>         > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job. 
So go
> find
>         > out what
>         > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your
life in
> fear,
>         > in
>         > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You
will feel
>         > better about
>         > > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help
others.
>         > >
>         > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as
bipolar,
> went
>         > manic at
>         > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and
stole
> stereos
>         > and
>         > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is
17, they
> are
>         > discussing
>         > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard
for me to
>         > deal with
>         > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
>         > >
>         > > Thanks for hearing me.
>         > >
>         > > Kay
>         > >   -----Original Message-----
>         > >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
>         > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
>         > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>         > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >   WOW.
>         > >   that explains SO well the questions that have been
haunting me
>         > for so
>         > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help
suppress the
>         > demons, but it
>         > > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
>         > >   emily
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central
Daylight
> Time,
>         > > canislupus7777@y... writes:
>         > >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to
remove
>         > yourself
>         > >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to
remove
> yourself
>         > soon
>         > >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within
you. It
>         > visits you
>         > >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your
best .
>         > Dimming
>         > >     the light that those few occasions have to offer.
It holds
> you
>         > and
>         > >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no
matter how
> far
>         > you
>         > >     run or how hard you work for something better...the
> darkness,
>         > sooner
>         > >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon
that
>         > consumes me?
>         > >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me
who feeds
> it
>         > so
>         > >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my
head from
>         > draining
>         > >     all the life inside my soul?
>         > >
>         > >     Canis...waya
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>         > >               ADVERTISEMENT
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------
--
>         > --------
>         > > --
>         > >   Yahoo! Groups Links
>         > >
>         > >     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
>         > >     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
>         > >
>         > >     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email
to:
>         > >     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>         > >
>         > >     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
Yahoo! Terms
> of
>         > Service.
>
>
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
------
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>
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
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>               ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
>
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>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
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> --
>   Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
>     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
>
>     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.



#11949 From: "jennifer" <dljm74sgrl@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 1:25 pm
Subject: Re: stopping all your med's
dljm74sgrl
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Hi jodie.
I have been there. My bf still keeps my meds from me when I feel like
that. Mostly cause i did take all the pills that would hurt me in
december and ended up in a coma. No fun for him or my family. So now
he keeps them from me. I have awful side effects too. I can barely
drive. I have an upset stomach all the time and i have the shakes. So
I can understand what your going through. I feel like not taking them
but my bf says that if i quit without my dc's permission that i'll
get sick again. So I don't quit taking them . My dc is never in her
office except every other monday. very frustrating.

Just keep hanging in there.
Love, Jennifer.


> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, poodlesbyjodie
> <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> > Has anyone just stopped all their med's, and tried to go cold
> turkey?
> >
> > I am taking:
> > xanax 1 mg 4x day
> > seroquel 400mg 1x day
> > remeron 20 mg 1x day
> > lithium 300 mg 2x day
> > lexapro 10 mg 1x day
> >
> > The side effects are making feel like crap!  Besides eating
> > everything edible in the house- I have had diarrhea for the past
> > three weeks!  They have checked my lithium level and it is 0.04
> (low)
> > And now to top it off, my pdoc decided overnight to take a 2 week
> > vacation- effective now!!  I swear she is gone out of the office
> > more than she is in it.  I am really at the end of my rope.  If
my
> > husband didn't have all my meds locked up I would take them all!
> > Has anyone been here before.
> > jodie

#11948 From: "christina" <reaverwoman@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 1:09 pm
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
reaverwoman
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
unfortunately kay there are no absolute patterns in bp, only the very
general ones like rapid cycler or bp 1 and 2...

every manic episode i have had has been different, and my bp is
evolving as i grow older, luckily for me i seem to be getting less
mania prone, but with others it could be opposite.

also meds slow the disease's progress so if they have not been on
meds much till late adulthood, say, their bp would have grown worse
than someone who began meds in their teens...

there are just too many variables to consider to have a single answer
kay, sorry!


love, christina.

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
<berners@i...> wrote:
> Thanks.
>
> Let me ask one more question.  I am a little confused, and not being
> bipolar, I cannot answer this.
>
> If a bipolar person cycles are fast (say a complete cycle last 10
days) as a
> teenager, then they get older teenager or adult, can those cycles
change to
> cycling maybe once every six, eight, ten months and then stay manic
for
> weeks?
>
> How long does the manic stage last for people?  Can it last for
weeks or
> does it come, hit hard, and die?
>
> I thought I'd ask the experts!  *G*
>
> Thanks.
>
> Kay
>   -----Original Message-----
>   From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>   Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:34 PM
>   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>
>
>   kay--
>   be my guest.
>   God bless ou,
>   bonnie
>
>   Kay Fielding <berners@i...> wrote:
>     Bonnie:
>
>     I have researched BPD also, and you are right on entirely.  May
I share
> your post?
>
>     Kay
>       -----Original Message-----
>       From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@y...]
>       Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2004 8:48 PM
>       To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>       Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
>
>
>       this one begs a reply.
>       bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and
with the
> logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER  dream
of acting
> out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER  dream of
stealing,
> may do so when manic. there IS proof of this. the parts of the brain
> responsible for those choices are seriously affected in some cycles.
> behavior which wuold never occur to some as acceptable, suddenly
becomes ok,
> and the reasoning needed to prevent it, simply does not make sense
to them
> at that time.
>       had to say this bit.
>       no more preaching.
>       god bless you,
>       bonnie
>
>       patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
>         Serena
>         I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their
misconduct
>         erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral
convicitons - if
> you
>         are basically honest, good etc you will display the same
character
>         being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar
may
>         exarbate your behavior.
>         Larry
>
>         --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain
<no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
>         > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many
many
> years.
>         > i understand all the things you are saying about god and
your son
> and
>         > his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to
where i
>         > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in
our heads
>         > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with.
these
> are
>         > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" person
thinks to
> get
>         > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and
no one
> has
>         > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even
get my so
>         > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for
that
> matter.
>         > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have
alot of
> very
>         > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray
and do
>         > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do,
sometimes it
>         > works but most of the time it does not work and we always
come
> back
>         > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management
classes
> and
>         > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you.
Love
> serena
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         >
>         > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
>         > <berners@i...> wrote:
>         > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we
all have
>         > demons
>         > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
>         > >
>         > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that
creature
> (or
>         > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the
person
>         > writes like
>         > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he
is crazy?
>         > How about
>         > > Stephen King?
>         > >
>         > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those
that
>         > say "you are
>         > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have
those that
>         > say "you are
>         > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even
the
> bullet
>         > to blow
>         > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or
a loser.
>         > If you are
>         > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You
might
> listen
>         > more
>         > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it
doesn't make
> it
>         > true if
>         > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give
you right
>         > information?
>         > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other
(who might
> be
>         > nuts)
>         > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a
parent or
> friend
>         > says it.
>         > > Do people always give you infallible information?  It
makes it
> true
>         > if you
>         > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
>         > >
>         > > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are
anything
> but
>         > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine
that!  You
>         > are created
>         > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then
only the
>         > demons, the
>         > > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God
doesn't
>         > consider
>         > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough
that he
> sent
>         > his son to
>         > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his
best son,
>         > his very
>         > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only
because he
>         > felt you
>         > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let
you go.
> And
>         > even if
>         > > you are any other religion, they also say that you are
saved
>         > because you are
>         > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only
the
> lying,
>         > deceiving,
>         > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to
destroy you.
> Why
>         > be
>         > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
>         > >
>         > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's
world, you
> have a
>         > purpose.
>         > > And He allowed you to be created so that you could
fulfill that
>         > purpose.
>         > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job.
So go
> find
>         > out what
>         > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your
life in
> fear,
>         > in
>         > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You
will feel
>         > better about
>         > > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help
others.
>         > >
>         > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as
bipolar,
> went
>         > manic at
>         > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and
stole
> stereos
>         > and
>         > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is
17, they
> are
>         > discussing
>         > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard
for me to
>         > deal with
>         > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
>         > >
>         > > Thanks for hearing me.
>         > >
>         > > Kay
>         > >   -----Original Message-----
>         > >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
>         > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
>         > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>         > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >   WOW.
>         > >   that explains SO well the questions that have been
haunting me
>         > for so
>         > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help
suppress the
>         > demons, but it
>         > > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
>         > >   emily
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central
Daylight
> Time,
>         > > canislupus7777@y... writes:
>         > >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to
remove
>         > yourself
>         > >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to
remove
> yourself
>         > soon
>         > >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within
you. It
>         > visits you
>         > >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your
best .
>         > Dimming
>         > >     the light that those few occasions have to offer.
It holds
> you
>         > and
>         > >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no
matter how
> far
>         > you
>         > >     run or how hard you work for something better...the
> darkness,
>         > sooner
>         > >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon
that
>         > consumes me?
>         > >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me
who feeds
> it
>         > so
>         > >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my
head from
>         > draining
>         > >     all the life inside my soul?
>         > >
>         > >     Canis...waya
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>         > >               ADVERTISEMENT
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         > >
>         >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------
--
>         > --------
>         > > --
>         > >   Yahoo! Groups Links
>         > >
>         > >     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
>         > >     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
>         > >
>         > >     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email
to:
>         > >     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>         > >
>         > >     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the
Yahoo! Terms
> of
>         > Service.
>
>
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
------
>       Do you Yahoo!?
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>
>
>
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> --------------------------------------------------------------------
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>               ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
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> --
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>
>     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
>     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
>
>     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.

#11947 From: "christina" <reaverwoman@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 12:51 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Very long... provides some much needed release...
reaverwoman
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
ok shannon, no more mail for you either, no problem.

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Shannon" <smrand3@c...>
wrote:
> stop emailing me too
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: sassyangel4229@a...
>   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
>   Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 4:15 PM
>   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Very long... provides some
much needed release...
>
>
>   please
>   stop
>   emailing
>   me!
>         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>               ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
>   Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
>     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
>
>     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.

#11946 From: "Kay Fielding" <berners@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 12:50 pm
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
kythe_berners
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Wow Bonnie, YOU are a saint to love someone so much!  I hope my son finds a woman just like you.
 
God bless,
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:53 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

christina--
i do try. you have contributed to what i do know.
truth is i spend about an hour a day online researching this . i also go to our library, ransack the pdocs mind ( :D ), and pick the brain of anyone who is willing to share about this who has some idea of what it realy is/does.
 
i have good reason: MY HUSBANDS LIFE DEPENDS ON MY UNDERSTANDING, as does our marriage. he is often seriously depressed. i have learned in the last week that he has hallucinations much worse than he would ever confess in the past, and he has not told the pdoc or anyone else. the depth of fear of being judged or having to go inpatient is greater for him than what he has to endure when the world goes upspide down for him . if i do not understand what he is having to deal with, and learn what can be done to assist with that, he may never find a way to regain total control of his life.
 
you have all had the experience of someone who mattered to you passing judgement on you--finding your behavior as simply mean, selfish, ugly, or immoral. i find it totaly unacceptable to allow the man i love to have to live his life out with that happening. i know the soul of who he realy is. he is in agony over what has occured during manic times. and he lives in fear of the fearful times returning. THIS IS NO WAY FOR ANYONE TO LIVE.
 
so, yes, i do try to do my homework. this is the most important class i have ever in my life taken. the final exam is indeed a pass/no pass grade. iether i/we get it right, or he might lose his life. there's a lot of motivation in that one.
 
there is a great deal of good information at this site. i thank you all for the time it takes to send these emails. you are, unknowingly, educating many who may make a differnce some day in finding a treatment for this illness which might lead to real success in overcoming it for life. each time you go to your pdoc and tell them what does or doesnt work, each time you share with another bp who then asks thier own pdoc about something--these all feed the information river that may lead to a 'cure'.
 
God bless you all for hanging in there, and supporting each other.
bonnie
christina <reaverwoman@...> wrote:
bonnie you must have really done your homework to understand the bp
condition so very well!


love, christina.



--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, Bonnie and Daniel
<lost_inalaska@y...> wrote:
> this one begs a reply.
> bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and with
the logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER 
dream of acting out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would
NEVER  dream of stealing, may do so when manic. there IS proof of
this. the parts of the brain responsible for those choices are
seriously affected in some cycles. behavior which wuold never occur
to some as acceptable, suddenly becomes ok, and the reasoning needed
to prevent it, simply does not make sense to them at that time.
> had to say this bit.
> no more preaching.
> god bless you,
> bonnie
>
> patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
> Serena
> I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their misconduct
> erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral convicitons - if
you
> are basically honest, good etc you will display the same character
> being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar may
> exarbate your behavior.
> Larry
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain <no_reply@y...>
wrote:
> > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many many
years. 
> > i understand all the things you are saying about god and your son
and
> > his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to where i
> > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in our
heads
> > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with.  these
are
> > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" person thinks to
get
> > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and no one
has
> > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even get my
so
> > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for that
matter.
> > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have alot of
very
> > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray and do
> > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do, sometimes it
> > works but most of the time it does not work and we always come
back
> > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management classes
and
> > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you.  Love
serena
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
> > <berners@i...> wrote:
> > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we all
have
> > demons
> > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
> > >
> > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that creature
(or
> > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the person
> > writes like
> > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he is
crazy? 
> > How about
> > > Stephen King?
> > >
> > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those that
> > say "you are
> > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have those that
> > say "you are
> > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even the
bullet
> > to blow
> > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or a
loser. 
> > If you are
> > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You might
listen
> > more
> > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it doesn't make
it
> > true if
> > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give you right
> > information?
> > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other (who
might be
> > nuts)
> > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a parent or
friend
> > says it.
> > > Do people always give you infallible information?  It makes it
true
> > if you
> > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
> > >
> > > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are
anything but
> > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine that! 
You
> > are created
> > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then only the
> > demons, the
> > > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God doesn't
> > consider
> > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough that he
sent
> > his son to
> > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his best
son,
> > his very
> > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only because
he
> > felt you
> > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let you go. 
And
> > even if
> > > you are any other religion, they also say that you are saved
> > because you are
> > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only the
lying,
> > deceiving,
> > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to destroy you. 
Why
> > be
> > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
> > >
> > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's world, you
have a
> > purpose.
> > > And He allowed you to be created so that you could fulfill that
> > purpose.
> > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job.  So go
find
> > out what
> > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your life in
fear,
> > in
> > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You will feel
> > better about
> > > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help others.
> > >
> > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as bipolar,
went
> > manic at
> > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and stole
stereos
> > and
> > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is 17, they
are
> > discussing
> > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard for me to
> > deal with
> > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
> > >
> > > Thanks for hearing me.
> > >
> > > Kay
> > >   -----Original Message-----
> > >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
> > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
> > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
> > >
> > >
> > >   WOW.
> > >   that explains SO well the questions that have been haunting
me
> > for so
> > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help suppress the
> > demons, but it
> > > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
> > >   emily
> > >
> > >
> > >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central Daylight
Time,
> > > canislupus7777@y... writes:
> > >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to remove
> > yourself
> > >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to remove
yourself
> > soon
> > >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within you. It
> > visits you
> > >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your best .
> > Dimming
> > >     the light that those few occasions have to offer. It holds
you
> > and
> > >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no matter how
far
> > you
> > >     run or how hard you work for something better...the
darkness,
> > sooner
> > >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon that
> > consumes me?
> > >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me who
feeds it
> > so
> > >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my head from
> > draining
> > >     all the life inside my soul?
> > >
> > >     Canis...waya
> > >
> > >
> > >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> > >               ADVERTISEMENT
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------------------------------
----
> > --------
> > > --
> > >   Yahoo! Groups Links
> > >
> > >     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
> > >     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
> > >
> > >     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> > >     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> > >
> > >     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo!
Terms of
> > Service.
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>    To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
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#11945 From: "Kay Fielding" <berners@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 12:50 pm
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
kythe_berners
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Thanks.
 
Let me ask one more question.  I am a little confused, and not being bipolar, I cannot answer this. 
 
If a bipolar person cycles are fast (say a complete cycle last 10 days) as a teenager, then they get older teenager or adult, can those cycles change to cycling maybe once every six, eight, ten months and then stay manic for weeks?
 
How long does the manic stage last for people?  Can it last for weeks or does it come, hit hard, and die?
 
I thought I'd ask the experts!  *G*
 
Thanks.
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:34 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

kay--
be my guest.
God bless ou,
bonnie

Kay Fielding <berners@...> wrote:
Bonnie:
 
I have researched BPD also, and you are right on entirely.  May I share your post?
 
Kay
-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@...]
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2004 8:48 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

this one begs a reply.
bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and with the logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER  dream of acting out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER  dream of stealing, may do so when manic. there IS proof of this. the parts of the brain responsible for those choices are seriously affected in some cycles. behavior which wuold never occur to some as acceptable, suddenly becomes ok, and the reasoning needed to prevent it, simply does not make sense to them at that time.
had to say this bit.
no more preaching.
god bless you,
bonnie

patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@...> wrote:
Serena
I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their misconduct
erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral convicitons - if you
are basically honest, good etc you will display the same character
being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar may
exarbate your behavior.
Larry

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many many years. 
> i understand all the things you are saying about god and your son and
> his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to where i
> have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in our heads
> not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with.  these are
> my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" person thinks to get
> them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and no one has
> helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even get my so
> called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for that matter.
> im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have alot of very
> bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray and do
> everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do, sometimes it
> works but most of the time it does not work and we always come back
> (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management classes and
> AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you.  Love serena
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
> <berners@i...> wrote:
> > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we all have
> demons
> > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
> >
> > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that creature (or
> > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the person
> writes like
> > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he is crazy? 
> How about
> > Stephen King?
> >
> > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those that
> say "you are
> > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have those that
> say "you are
> > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even the bullet
> to blow
> > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or a loser. 
> If you are
> > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You might listen
> more
> > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But it doesn't make it
> true if
> > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give you right
> information?
> > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other (who might be
> nuts)
> > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a parent or friend
> says it.
> > Do people always give you infallible information?  It makes it true
> if you
> > believe it and choose it for yourself.
> >
> > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are anything but
> > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine that!  You
> are created
> > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then only the
> demons, the
> > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God doesn't
> consider
> > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough that he sent
> his son to
> > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his best son,
> his very
> > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only because he
> felt you
> > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let you go.  And
> even if
> > you are any other religion, they also say that you are saved
> because you are
> > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only the lying,
> deceiving,
> > creeping crawling things that visit your head to destroy you.  Why
> be
> > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
> >
> > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's world, you have a
> purpose.
> > And He allowed you to be created so that you could fulfill that
> purpose.
> > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job.  So go find
> out what
> > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your life in fear,
> in
> > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You will feel
> better about
> > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help others.
> >
> > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as bipolar, went
> manic at
> > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and stole stereos
> and
> > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is 17, they are
> discussing
> > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard for me to
> deal with
> > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
> >
> > Thanks for hearing me.
> >
> > Kay
> >   -----Original Message-----
> >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
> >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
> >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
> >
> >
> >   WOW.
> >   that explains SO well the questions that have been haunting me
> for so
> > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help suppress the
> demons, but it
> > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
> >   emily
> >
> >
> >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central Daylight Time,
> > canislupus7777@y... writes:
> >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to remove
> yourself
> >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to remove yourself
> soon
> >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within you. It
> visits you
> >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your best .
> Dimming
> >     the light that those few occasions have to offer. It holds you
> and
> >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no matter how far
> you
> >     run or how hard you work for something better...the darkness,
> sooner
> >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon that
> consumes me?
> >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me who feeds it
> so
> >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my head from
> draining
> >     all the life inside my soul?
> >
> >     Canis...waya
> >
> >
> >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> >               ADVERTISEMENT
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
> > --
> >   Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
> >     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
> >
> >     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.



Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail is new and improved - Check it out!


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#11944 From: "christina" <reaverwoman@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 12:49 pm
Subject: Re: sassy
reaverwoman
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
dizzy i feel something good has grown inside you lately from your
last few posts!

with all the crap and confusion and blame thrown on you all the time
you are still standing strong!

i know the feeling of being scared when your energy or stability will
run out, but with your new inner strength you will know just how to
cope, i am sure of it!

love, christina.

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, darlindiz <no_reply@y...>
wrote:
> change your options for your membership to the board so that you
> don't get email... that is the only reason anything directly posted
> to the board is coming to you.
>
> have a good evening!
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, sassyangel4229@a... wrote:
> > please
> > stop
> > emailing
> > me!

#11943 From: "christina" <reaverwoman@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 12:45 pm
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Very long... provides some much needed release...
reaverwoman
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you will get no more email from the group, but it was not my fault
that you chose to get all the posts by email!

a simple request is all that is needed...swearing only bugs ppl...




--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, sassyangel4229@a... wrote:
> STOP FUCKING EMAILING ME!

#11942 From: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 11:57 am
Subject: Chat Room - Bipolar, 7/1/2004, 10:00 am
alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
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Reminder Reminder from the Calendar of alicesbipolarchat
Chat Room - Bipolar

Thursday July 1, 2004
10:00 am - 12:00 pm
This event repeats every day.


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#11941 From: Yahoo! Reminder <reminders@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 11:55 am
Subject: Evening Chat, 7/1/2004, 8:00 pm
reminders@...
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Reminder Reminder from the Calendar of alicesbipolarchat
Evening Chat

Thursday July 1, 2004
8:00 pm - 12:00 am
This event repeats every day.
The next reminder for this event will be sent in 11 hours, 4 minutes.

Event Location: alice's chat room
Notes:
I would love to be able to in touch with this group. I have no one to talk to or to understand me.

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#11940 From: "Shannon" <smrand3@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:03 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders
sanyand3
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Shannon,
 
I can totally relate to everything you are saying.  And the depakote unfotunatly for me did not help as much as I had hoped.  give it a chance tho because it may in the long wrong but if after a total of about 3 months and not working be sure to tell your pdoc ok.
 
with the depakote and also Zyprexa I gained alot of weight.  And with the depakote I lost so much hair that I had to get it cut real short.  My hair is naturally thin and straight and when I got it cut I had the curliest hair ever.  For about a year and a half even when it grew out again I looked like I had a perm. 
 
Eventually I got up to 185 and my normal weight had been 135.
 
2 years ago I began taking Lamictal and now I can say I truly feel "normal"and am real stable.  I also lost all the wieght and got down to 110 lbs.  But, my husband thought that was too skinny so I am at 120-125 now.
 
Anyway it does take time to feel well again.  And then when you are you realize that there is a lot of work to do to begin viewing yourself in the proper way to build you strength and self esteem. 
 
I will try to post some helpful articles for you soon.
 
Also try reading the Feeling Good book and the accompanying workbook by David Burns.  It is really helpful.
 
You will want to get as much knowlege about this illness in order to get well.
 
Shannon C
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2004 2:00 AM
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders

Shannon I had the same thing happen to me about 9 mths ago and I ran home to mum as we call them in Australia but they have been great support I offten wonder if I would of been better sticking it out by myself only you will know. I would go home for a while and see if it is any better. Regards
Adam.

shnnygrl <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
Hi everyone.  I posted here for the first time about 2 1/2 weeks
ago.  It helps me to read what everyone says as I can relate to so
much of it.  I was dx as being bipolar type 2 about a month ago.  I
was in the hospital for 9 days and left feeling hopeful.  Now, I
don't know how I feel other than...depressed still.  I tried to stop
taking my medications thinking they weren't really helping.  Two days
later I was crying harder than I've ever cried then hysterically
laughing back to crying my eyes out.  This lasted for about 5 hours. 
I felt like I had no control over my mind or body.  It was horrible. 
Needless to say, I realize the medication must help somewhat and I
wont just stop taking them ever again.  I guess I'm writing mostly
because I don't know how to deal with all of this.  I'm 29 years old
and part of me wants to run home to Mom, and another part of me gets
pissed off when she even suggests it.  I honestly don't think this
medication I'm on is working (seroquel and depakote).  I think I've
gained 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  My hair is falling out.  AND I
still feel flipping depressed!  Not as depressed as before, not
thinking of ways to kill myself.  But depressed enough that I am
almost..afraid to answer my phone.  I rarely leave my house.  What
the hell am I afraid of??  I have no clue.  I feel like I can't fully
function anymore.  I am a prisoner and I could only admit this to all
of you, because I think at least a few of you will understand.  I
think I'm almost afraid to feel healthy.  I have been depressed for
as long as I can remember.  I've had racing thoughts and ideas for so
long that it's a part of me.  When I first started the seroquel it
was the oddest feeling to have my mind be quiet..blank.  I felt like
my mind was a chalk board and someone came by and wiped it clean.  Is
that how it is to be "normal"??  I feel like I'm just existing these
days.  I am not happy.  I feel I was forced due to circumstances to
make some choices that had it not been for my being sick I wouldn't
have made.  I don't know how to get out of it now.  I feel stuck and
lost and alone.  My Mom is pressuring me to move to her state so she
can "take care of me".  Part of me wants to run home to her, but
another part of me feels that that's a cop out.  That my life is
here, maybe it's not the life I want, but it's mine.  I just wish I
knew what to do.  Any encouragement or advice would mean a lot. 
Thanks for listening to me ramble.  Shannon


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#11939 From: "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:34 am
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Very long... provides some much needed release...
twinmomtina
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Diz,

 

Whoa!  Maybe you should avoid your mother, too, until the situation clears up a little.  She seems to be in the middle, and your need to keep your home life stable until their threats are too ancient.

 

I’ll pray for you.

 

Tina

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: darlindiz [mailto:no_reply@yahoogroups.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 3:56 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Very long... provides some much needed release...

 

It's been about 4 weeks since I let anyone know how I was doing...
I'm still doing good... this fact scares me a little because I have
had an extremely stressful 4 weeks and I'm not use to being able to
keep myself together especially when everyone else around me is
falling apart and some of them are trying harder than usual to take
me down.  My grandfather had bypass surgery on his leg (took 7 long
hours as opposed to the 5 it was suppose to) and they only had to
amputate one toe... he is finally home and doing as well as can be
expected... my mother was a complete wreck but now that she sees her
dad is going to be ok she is coming back to earth.  The day of my
grandpa's surgery my youngest brother decided he needed to lash out
at someone (of course I'm always his target) over breakfast in a
Village Inn... we were sitting there talking about my middle brother
(he is an ex-con, alcoholic, druggie who is a basic sociopath turned
hippie) and what we would like him to acknowledge doing wrong to
us... I had said I wanted him to pay back the money that it cost for
him destroying an apartment I rented because it destroyed my credit
rating, of course my little brother doesn't think anyone owes me
anything (world according to him I NEVER help anyone, including my
children, I'm completely selfish and can't afford to financially
help because I WON'T hold a job more than 6 months because I'm "just
a lazy little bitch who doesn't care") he of course went into his
speech starting with me never working, blah , blah, blah... my dad's
jaw dropped open (we're in public and my brother doesn't care) and
he tried to defend me (only person who is willing to when it comes
to my little brother or his wife)... so I'm sitting there at the
table trying to keep myself from bursting into tears and trying to
keep my food down (my poor appetite doesn't allow for much and I
still have a problem keeping food down when I get upset)... the next
couple of days following this I avoided him at all costs, however
his wife was another story, I couldn't avoid her and she was so
stressed out that she couldn't keep her mouth shut (I'm also her
target),  she started calling me down so I took my daughter and
left... the next day I returned to watch her kids and give her the
car, she got home from school and went ballistic when I told her my
daughter wasn't going camping with her and my brother this week
("you can't take care of her!  How can you try and take her from
me?" attempts to throw a pail of water at me, slams and locks the
sliding glass door... when I ask to be let in she throws the door
open and knocks it off track, stands in the doorway and screams
obscenities in my face while telling me what a horrible mother and
person I am... she continues screaming at me while gathering her
children and forcing them to sit in her hot stuffy room until I
leave... opens her door every couple of minutes to scream at me some
more and threatens to call department of social services and
something about my boyfriend involving DSS...) when I'm finally able
to, I leave and of course come back the next morning... this time
when she gets home from school she asks if she can watch my daughter
while I'm at school and I tell her no, I also told her that she was
going to have to find a sitter for her daughter once I got my own
car (we've had that conversation before because I'm going to school
during the day come fall)... she goes into hysterics about how I'm
ruining her life, how I'm making it so she has to drop out of
school... she takes her daughter and locks herself in her room...
comes back out as I'm walking out the door and says "you're going to
be taking care of my children whether you want to or not because I'm
going to kill myself and you'll be to blame" this in front of a four
year old... I told her if she did that it would be her own decision,
that was not something I could force her to do, went outside told my
nephew to go watch his mother, got my daughter and left.  The next
day I break up with my boyfriend because he starts ragging on me
despite the fact that I'm trying to keep myself from totally losing
it... we argue, I make sure I have all my stuff out of his apartment
and return to my townhouse...  5 minutes later my wreck of a mother
is standing at my door screaming at me for a message my now ex-b/f
left on her voice messaging for my sis-in-law about what would
happen if she called DSS on me... my mom is crying and
screaming "how dare you put me in the middle of this when you know I
could lose my father"... my computer is on and my ex-b/f is sending
me instant messages while my mother is taking her turn to tear me
apart.  My sis-in-law didn't say anything to me about this message
but she saved it for my mother to listen to and she put my mother in
the middle by telling her f*&^ed up side of the story and BOOM! all
the bad stuff happening in everyones life is now my fault (if only I
had this much power in reality imagine what I could do... lol)...
somehow I got my mom calmed down... somehow my sis-in-law gets a
grip and a clue, but I'm still not talking to my brother unless I
have to... a week later their car breaks down and is going to cost
more than what they and my mother can afford and once again
it's "Diz we need your help..."  my mother borrows $400 to fix their
car and then she is the only one who thanks me... everytime they
need to be bailed out I somehow have the money or a way to get it...
if it hadn't been for me they would not have been able to make their
improptu move back to CO from TN 3 years ago and I would not have
had to move out of the house I helped my mother design and help with
the down payment and I would not have had to completely disrupt my
son's life by moving out of the house we built for him to grow up in
(I'm a big enough person to admit that I resented them for that, but
I got over it)... my son has been on the road with my dad for the
last 3 weeks, so he doesn't know yet that I got him back earlier
than I was suppose to (my mother took my kids and said I could have
them at the end of July as long as I could prove I was stable...)
the situation with my brother and his wife was very unsafe for my
children so I just took my kids back and my mother isn't fighting
me... I have achieved stability and kept it through many attempts on
my brothers and sis-in-laws part to knock me back to the Abyss plus
some major stressors... I am now more stable for my children then
the situation going on in her home, and she knows it.  My last three
weeks of Public speaking were not easy but I got a "B"... and
yesterday I started my Intro to Lit class.  But after all this in
the back of my mind way down deep I'm wondering when I'm going to
lose my grip and come tumbling down... my own strength is amazing
me.  I have been without meds now for about three months or almost
and I feel better about my chances every day... :)

Sorry this is so long but I had to release some stress and this is
the best way I know how...

Hang on tight; it's one wild ride!
diz




#11938 From: "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:23 am
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
twinmomtina
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I agree.  Although bp changes the thinking process, one can take responsibility by doing what’s necessary to be as stable as possible.

 

Tina

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: christina [mailto:reaverwoman@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 12:02 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

 

as in all segments of society, there are bipolars who,

_When Stable,_ are still jerks i believe is larry's point.

agreed, bp is a disease not an excuse for knowing and continuing bad
behavior, larry!

i believe we all know it is our duty to get stable and behave
properly for our own sake's and our loved ones and to ignore that
duty purposefully does make one a not nice person...

love, christina.



--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, Tom Smith
<patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
> Bonnie
> If I am wrong, I stand corrected - what I said I
> learned from a director of a mh clinic who was a phd
> and a friend.  But that was over 20 years ago and a
> lot more info is  out now.  But I do know there are
> some blaming their misconduct on bp and it really is
> their morals.
> (:
> Larry
>
> --- Bonnie and Daniel <lost_inalaska@y...> wrote:
> > this one begs a reply.
> > bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making
> > ability, and with the logic and rational thinking
> > processes! some who wuold NEVER  dream of acting out
> > sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER
> > dream of stealing, may do so when manic. there IS
> > proof of this. the parts of the brain responsible
> > for those choices are seriously affected in some
> > cycles. behavior which wuold never occur to some as
> > acceptable, suddenly becomes ok, and the reasoning
> > needed to prevent it, simply does not make sense to
> > them at that time.
> > had to say this bit.
> > no more preaching.
> > god bless you,
> > bonnie
> >
> > patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@y...> wrote:
> > Serena
> > I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for
> > their misconduct
> > erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral
> > convicitons - if you
> > are basically honest, good etc you will display the
> > same character
> > being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue,
> > biploar may
> > exarbate your behavior.
> > Larry
> >
> > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain
> > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> > > hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar
> > for many many years. 
> > > i understand all the things you are saying about
> > god and your son and
> > > his demons and all of this but i have never gone
> > manic to where i
> > > have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are
> > put in our heads
> > > not by our own selves but by the people we grew up
> > with.  these are
> > > my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL"
> > person thinks to get
> > > them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole
> > life and no one has
> > > helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i
> > cant even get my so
> > > called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even
> > try for that matter.
> > > im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here,
> > we have alot of very
> > > bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we
> > pray and do
> > > everything our drs and everyone else tells us to
> > do, sometimes it
> > > works but most of the time it does not work and we
> > always come back
> > > (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger
> > management classes and
> > > AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him
> > and you.  Love serena
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay
> > Fielding"
> > > <berners@i...> wrote:
> > > > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think
> > that we all have
> > > demons
> > > > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
> > > >
> > > > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse
> > is that creature (or
> > > > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.
> > If the person
> > > writes like
> > > > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean
> > that he is crazy? 
> > > How about
> > > > Stephen King?
> > > >
> > > > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have
> > those that
> > > say "you are
> > > > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We
> > have those that
> > > say "you are
> > > > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not
> > worth even the bullet
> > > to blow
> > > > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or
> > wrong or a loser. 
> > > If you are
> > > > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.
> >  You might listen
> > > more
> > > > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But
> > it doesn't make it
> > > true if
> > > > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always
> > give you right
> > > information?
> > > > And it doesn't make it true if your significant
> > other (who might be
> > > nuts)
> > > > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if
> > a parent or friend
> > > says it.
> > > > Do people always give you infallible
> > information?  It makes it true
> > > if you
> > > > believe it and choose it for yourself.
> > > >
> > > > Why in the world would you want to believe that
> > you are anything but
> > > > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.
> > Imagine that!  You
> > > are created
> > > > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are,
> > then only the
> > > demons, the
> > > > lying demons, can tell you that you are
> > worthless.  God doesn't
> > > consider
> > > > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth
> > enough that he sent
> > > his son to
> > > > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect
> > son, his best son,
> > > his very
> > > > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him
> > only because he
> > > felt you
> > > > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to
> > let you go.  And
> > > even if
> > > > you are any other religion, they also say that
> > you are saved
> > > because you are
> > > > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?
> >  Only the lying,
> > > deceiving,
> > > > creeping crawling things that visit your head to
> > destroy you.  Why
> > > be
> > > > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
> > > >
> > > > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In
> > God's world, you have a
> > > purpose.
> > > > And He allowed you to be created so that you
> > could fulfill that
> > > purpose.
> > > > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that
> > job.  So go find
> > > out what
> > > > it is and be productive.  You can sit around all
> > your life in fear,
> > > in
> > > > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?
> > You will feel
> > > better about
> > > > yourself when you help others.  We were created
> > to help others.
> > > >
> > > > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3
> > psychiatrists as bipolar, went
> > > manic at
> > > > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in
> > and stole stereos
> > > and
> > > > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although
> > he is 17, they are
> > > discussing
> > > > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is
> > hard for me to
> > > deal with
> > > > this.  If you are a person who prays, please
> > pray.
> > > >
> > > > Thanks for hearing me.
> > > >
> > > > Kay
> > > >   -----Original Message-----
> > > >   From: Yoga4life83@a...
> > [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
> > > >   Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
> > > >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> > > >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon
> > within
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >   WOW.
> > > >   that explains SO well the questions that have
> > been haunting me
> > > for so
> > > > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help
> > suppress
> === message truncated ===
>
>
>
>            
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Get it on your mobile phone.
> http://mobile.yahoo.com/maildemo




#11937 From: "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:18 am
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients
twinmomtina
Offline Offline
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Emily,

 

Yes, I am currently doing the same and would not advise it.  I stopped because the lithium made me sick and the weight gain.  I’m not depressed yet, though I know I am on an up cycle and need to start my meds again soon before the depression hits.  I don’t know how long I have and it’s a dangerous game I’m playing.  I should have never have stopped, but now I feel stuck because I’m in the process of looking for a job and can’t afford to be sidelined for 2-4 weeks while I get adjusted to my meds again.  But I also know if I don’t start soon, I won’t care about looking for a job.  So hopefully, I’ll find one soon, start my meds, and everything will be fine, lol.

 

Tina

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: emilina21 [mailto:emilina21@...]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:38 AM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] one of those patients

 

Hi lovelies,
I've been reading lately, but never posted until now. I seem to be
drifting into new terrain, becoming one of those patients who skips
her medication. I swore to myself I would not succomb to the urge,
but, damn it, Zyprexa rebellion has hit me hard. Since I (I know it's
ill-advised) quit the Z, I feel sharper, more alert, less dead to the
world. No manic signs as of now. I'm afraid to admit to my doctor
that I've altered my meds in this way. Any thoughts on skipping meds?
Does anyone struggle with this?

Emily 




#11936 From: "Shannon" <smrand3@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:13 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders
sanyand3
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Shannon,

             Here are some very helpful facts and places to look for more
information on bipolar.  The more informed we are the more we understand the
illness and how to combat the symptoms.  I wish you well in your road to
recovery.  Do not give up.  Altho we cannot ever get rid of the illness we
can definatly better our lives and be able to cope and enjoy life to the
fullest just as anyone else.

             The main thing is that we have to have the strength and
determiantion in ourselves to do so.  It is not up to others to make us feel
worthy and deserving of feeling happiness.  It comes from within.  As soon
as we understand that and believe it is up to us then the healing can truly
begin.

             Shannon C

             Mental illness - information for family and friends

            Although there are different types of mental illness and
symptoms, family members and friends of those affected share many similar
experiences. There is a lot you can do to help your friend or relative.
However, you need to look after yourself too.

                   Get help early
                   Don't ignore warning signs of mental illness in a family
member or friend. The sooner the person receives treatment, the better the
outcome is likely to be. It will help if you:

                     a.. Encourage the person to see a general practitioner
(GP) or other doctor for an assessment.
                     b.. Make an appointment with the GP yourself to discuss
your concerns and what can be done (if the person refuses to see a doctor).
                   Common reactions
                   The distress associated with having a family member with a
mental illness may lead to feelings of guilt, anger or shame. Acknowledging
these feelings is the first step towards resolving them. It is important to
understand that neither you nor the person with the mental illness are to
blame for it.

                   A positive attitude helps
                   Developing a positive attitude will help you to provide
better support for a friend or family member with a mental illness. It will
help if you:

                     a.. Find out as much as you can about mental illness,
treatment and what services are available in your area.
                     b.. Find out if there are any education and training
courses for carers that you can attend.
                     c.. Recognise and accept that symptoms may come and go,
and may vary in severity. Varying levels of support will be required at
different times.
                     d.. Develop a sense of balance between your own needs
and the needs of the person you care for.
                     e.. Contact a support group for carers or relatives and
friends of people with a mental illness.
                   Recognise your limits
                   You should decide what level of support and care you are
realistically able to provide. Explain this to the friend or relative with
the mental illness as well as the health professionals involved in their
care (for example, the psychiatrist or case manager). This will ensure that
the type of support you are unable to provide can be arranged in another
way. You should also discuss options for future care with health
professionals and other family members and friends. This will ensure
continuity of care when you are unable to fulfill your role as a carer.

                   Develop plans
                   Plans to cope on a day-to-day basis
                   It is important to encourage a sense of structure in the
life of a person with a mental illness. You can:

                     a.. Develop predictable routines - for example, regular
times to get up and eat. Introduce gradual changes to prevent boredom.
                     b.. Break tasks into small steps - for example,
encourage someone to shower more by helping them put out towels and choose
clean clothes.
                     c.. Try to overcome a lack of motivation - for example,
encourage and include the person in activities.
                     d.. Allow the person to make decisions - even though it
can sometimes be difficult for them to do this and they may keep changing
their mind. Try to resist the temptation to make the decision for them.
                   Plans to deal with disturbed behaviour
                   Try and discuss strategies with the person and health
professionals to deal with:

                     a.. Suicidal thoughts - talk about the thoughts with the
person and discuss why they are having them. Suggest things to distract the
person from the suicidal thoughts. If the thoughts persist, especially if
the person experiences hallucinatory voices that suggest suicide, inform
their doctor.
                     b.. 'Manipulative' behaviour - for example, where the
person with the illness tells one person untrue stories about mistreatment
by the others who care for them. Establish whether the behaviour is being
used to get extra help and support. Try and involve the person in activities
which will make them feel less resentful towards others. Check out the
stories before you react.
                     c.. Aggressive or violent behaviour - this may be
associated with psychotic symptoms or alcohol or drug abuse. Involve health
professionals promptly. For aggressive behaviour associated with extreme
stress, try to develop an atmosphere that is open and relaxed.
                   Report aggressive behaviour
                   If someone is persistently aggressive, you should report
actual or threatened violence to the treating health professionals (and the
police, if necessary) immediately. If you live with someone who is
persistently aggressive, seriously consider ways you can live apart. It is
very likely that living apart will work out better for both of you.

                   The effects of mental illness on brothers and sisters
                   Mental illness can lead to a variety of emotional effects
for brothers and sisters of the affected person. For example, they may feel:

                     a.. Confusion about their sibling's changed behaviour.
                     b.. Embarrassment about being in the affected person's
company.
                     c.. Jealous of their parent's attention.
                     d.. Resentment about not being like their peers.
                     e.. Fear of developing the mental illness.
                   What brothers and sisters can and can't do
                   What you can do
                   If your sibling has a mental illness, you can:

                     a.. Talk honestly about your feelings and encourage
others in the family to do the same.
                     b.. Be active in improving mental health services - for
example, through local mental health support groups.
                     c.. Avoid making the ill person the axis around which
the family revolves.
                     d.. Maintain your focus on living and enjoying your own
life.
                   What you can't do
                   If your sibling has a mental illness, you can't:

                     a.. Be totally responsible for their welfare.
                     b.. Make your sibling behave in a certain way - for
example, force them to take their medication.
                     c.. Solve all their problems or feel you ought to.
                     d.. Lessen the impact of the illness by pretending that
it is not there.
                   Where to get help

                     a.. SANE Australia Tel. (03) 9682 5933
                     b.. Your doctor.
                   Things to remember

                     a.. Neither you nor the person affected by the mental
illness are responsible for their condition.
                     b.. It may help to contact a support group for family,
friends or carers of people with mental illness.






             Related articles:
             Mental health laws protect rights of involuntary patients.
             Mental health problems benefit from immediate care.
             Mental Health Week raises community awareness.
             Mental illness and violence explained.
             Mental illness prevalence.
             Mental illness treatments.
             Mental illnesses can be treated.




















      Site map | Link to us | Copyright | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement |
Access tips | Accreditation












             Mainly personal websites by bipolar patients.


             Bipolar World
             The work of Colleen Sullivan, Bipolar World features a veritable
smorgasbord of information, plus a some of the best personal stories
gathered under one roof, poetry, chat rooms, message board, and more.


             About.com - Bipolar Disorder
             Consider About.com a perfect complement to this one, with a
wealth of articles, news, and links - always current.  You can also join in
on chats and discussions.


             Bipolar Disorder Sanctuary
             Easy to read and navigate, this site features news, chats and
message boards, bipolar stories, links to articles, and more.


             Bipolar Disorder Today
             Patty Pheil has migrated from Bipolar Disorder Sanctuary and set
up a new home, with her usual standard of excellence. From the site, you can
link to sister sites covering depression, borderline, PTSD, and related
illnesses.


             PsychEducation.org
             Learned but highly-readable articles by Jim Phelps MD


             Bipolar Survivor.com
             Creation of Paul Jones, author of Dear World: A Suicide Letter,
with plenty of articles and good info.


             Bipolar.com
             Good introductory info from GlaxoSmithKline, makers of Lamictal,
Paxil, and Wellbutrin, with no attempt to market any of these meds.


             Bipolar Disorder Research
             Laura is frequently updating this very useful site with latest
research links.


             Manic's Dance
             Message boards, chat, information, books, and people to email
for support.


             Melissa's Website
             Melissa Mullek writes for this website, but also has her own
well worth checking out, including her personal memoirs and poetry.


             Bipolar Brain
             Juliet's highly personal take on her illness.


             Basket Weaving for Beginners
             Twenty or so essays by Peter Newman.


             Bipolar Home
             Articles and links by Charles Geitner.


             Bipolar Bear
             Several personal stories well worth reading, plus info on BP,
OCD, PTSD, and DID.


             Scott Zwiren.com
             The first chapter of his well-received bipolar memoir, God Head.





View other groups in this category.Links to Major Bipolar Sites -



       Psych Central -

       McMan's Depression and Bipolar Site -

       National Institute of Mental Health -

       NAMI - Top News -

       WebMD -

       BPhoenix -

       Dr. Ivan's Depression Central -

       Without emotion, man would be nothing
       but a biological computer. Love, joy,
       sorrow, fear, apprehension, anger,
       satisfaction, and discontent provide
       the meaning of human existence.
       Arnold M. Ludwig---1980

       Yahoo Health News -

       Bipolar Disorders Information Center -

       Cutting - Self Injury

       http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/collection/bipolar_disorder

       http://www.cpa-apc.org/index.asp

       http://freemedicaljournals.com/htm/spec13.htm#psych

       http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/




http://www.drkoop.com/template.asp?page=channel&ap=93&cid=1056&subcid=1334



       http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/



       http://www.bmj.com/



       http://www.priory.com/psych.htm



             Bipolar Resources at Mental Help Net Top site with lots of well
organized information.   Some very good articles in the Latest News section.
Also topical book reviews.

              BPSO Public Pages (Bipolar Significant Others)  A good place to
start from if someone you know has bipolar disorder

             Mcman's Depression and Bipolar Web:    Articles (over 170 now)
Links, Newsletter (Subscription  $29 American for 48 issues/year. He
researches latest news and developments)

              Mentalhealth.com  Bipolar page One of my favorite sites for
information. Online diagnosis link is now a subscription service  Mental
health home care Article about site (updated link)

              Ivan Goldberg's site Includes his depression and mania
inventory List of relevant articles No organization but some of the best
articles

              PsychCentral Bipolar Links Lists 17 main sites,  support
groups, Ivan Goldberg's Mania Inventory and 5 links describing the types of
episodes..

             Bipolar Disorder Sanctuary  This is an extensive, easy to
navigate site. Bipolar and Borderline listserv has been combined and often
serves as a soapbox for the owner. Free but donations requested

              About.com Bipolar  It includes a Bipolar glossary , a
medication side effect section , a "what's new " section, support chats at
scheduled times (java) Bipolar Disorder A-Z

             The Write Brain Steven  Thow's Mental Health Resources -
Depression/Bipolar Disorder by Steven Thow. Written in the form of a FAQ, he
uses a question and answer format to provide links. Lots and lots of links.
Many links have become outdated which is unfortunate.

             Bipolar Disorder At Health, Inc.
             Friday's Progress Notes - September 29, 2000  Vol. 4 Issue 29
             Friday's Progress Notes - November 19, 1999 Vol. 3 Issue 44
             Friday's Progress Notes April 3, 1998 Vol. 2 Issue 14 -

             Bipolar resources NAMI
            Nami's links to other sites

             The South African Bipolar Homepage  includes info on South
African Support Groups

             (FyrenIyce) - Welcome Australian Site  (FyrenIyce) -
International BP Resources

             Mental Health and Nutrition Journal

             Suite101.com Bipolar disorder  a meta site including
articlesCMHA-Coping with Stress Still a good site but not being updated

             Stanley Foundation Bipolar Network This site includes issues of
the Bipolar Network News

             The Mood Disorders Support Group of New York City  News articles

             Bipolar Info_Online
            drkoop Bipolar

             Bipolar World  chat, listserv ,ask the expert and more

             DMDA of Greeneville


             Bipolar Affective Disorder , A digest about Manic/Depression
sites are rated

             Bipolar Disorder Source Page  includes write ups on latest
research

             General Resources and Information General Resources and
Information on Bipolar Disorders The page of links to other sites is called
Surprise site. Also has links to the psychoeducational webring

             Accurian this site requires registration but includes a list of
clinical trials, drug information and news in an easily navigable  format.







D.     1. Background Information on Mental Illness

MYTH: Mental illness is rare.
FACT: Mental illnesses are more common than cancer, diabetes, or heart
disease. In any given year, more than five million Americans experience an
acute episode of mental illness. One in every five families is affected in
their lifetime by a severe mental illness, such as bipolar disorder,
schizophrenia, and major depression. (Source: NAMI)

MYTH: Someone who is mentally ill is likely to get much worse.
FACT: The course of severe mental illness over an extended period of time is
not necessarily just maintenance (staying the same) or regression (getting
worse). The treatment success rate for schizophrenia is 60 percent, 65
percent for major depression, and 80 percent for bipolar disorder.
Comparatively, the success rate for heart disease ranges from 41 to 52
percent. One half to two thirds of people with schizophrenia achieve
considerable improvement or recovery over 20 to 25 years. With time,
resources, ongoing intervention, and enough support, an individual can reach
significant employment outcomes.

MYTH: If someone looks or acts odd it means that staff need to be concerned
about the potential for violence.
FACT: Contrary to media focus, individuals with mental illness are no more
prone to violence than the general public, and in fact, are more likely to
be the victims of violence than the perpetrators. The exception is adding
the presence of substance abuse, which increases the likelihood of
aggressive behaviors (as it does with the general public).

The article Myths and Facts About Mental Illness can be read in its entirety
by clicking on the underlined name.



2. Who Can Work

MYTH: If someone's mental illness is not under control, they are not "job
ready".
FACT: Individuals with complex needs, including psychiatric disabilities,
have often been labeled as not "job ready". However, individuals with
similar needs can be found working successfully in the community. Waiting
for all disability-related issues to be under control may mean that the
customer is never judged to be "ready". Job readiness really happens when
"the skills, interests, values and needs of a person [are matched] with the
demands of a specific job and the values and needs of a particular
employer." (Marrone, Gandolfo, Gold, Hoff, 1998). Job readiness is a
dynamic, not a static, concept.

MYTH: The stress of working is likely to cause relapses for someone with
severe mental illness.
FACT: Part of the stress response for these individuals is the knowledge
that the typical new worker adjustment period might be misread as a
recurrence of mental illness symptoms. All people undergo stress in making
major life changes, both positive and negative ones. If the changes caused
by a new job are planned and have built-in supports, stress can be
minimized. Individuals who are taught coping skills to anticipate potential
problems are likely to do better at handling stressful situations. Education
on self-monitoring can be an important tool for the individual adjusting to
a new work environment.

MYTH: A person with mental illness who states he/she is not ready to enter
the world of work is obviously not ready.
FACT: Individuals with mental illness may be fearful at the prospect of work
due to poor self esteem or inexperience. These individuals need to build
confidence through career exploration activities, such as those listed
elsewhere in this section. One-Stops can assist such individuals by
gradually introducing them to the world of work, through classes on
interview techniques and resume building, informational interviews, job
shadowing, tours, and so on. Participating in group activities at a One-Stop
Center, especially activities which include individuals without
disabilities, can be particularly helpful in building the confidence of
people with mental illness.

MYTH: If customers request or need help to get a job, they are not ready to
work.
FACT: Asking for help is a sign of health, not weakness. The professional is
there not to "do it all" but to enhance that customer's skills,
presentation, and self-confidence. Professionals can help by:

·         identifying assets

·         providing training and support

·         gathering information

·         presenting options

·         counseling on implications

·         bringing in other contacts.



The article Myths and Facts About Mental Illness can be read in its entirety
by clicking on the underlined name.



3. Securing Employment

MYTH: A person with mental illness always needs specialized disability
resources to get a job.
FACT: Specialized resources can help, but basic strategies are always
useful. Networking, in particular, is invaluable to all job seekers. People
with mental illness may find that connections are helpful in lessening the
chance of being automatically rejected due to lack of recent job experience,
gaps in work history, previous terminations from jobs, and discriminatory
attitudes.

MYTH: If a person with mental illness is really motivated to work he/she
should be willing to try out any job.
FACT: Every person has different needs and concerns. Severe mental illnesses
often arise in late adolescence or early adulthood. A person with a mental
illness therefore, may not have had the opportunity for much vocational
exploration and, early on in the personal journey into (or back into)
employment, may need to try out different jobs based on preferences as
opposed to aptitude, knowledge, or experience.

MYTH: A person with a mental illness should only work at low stress jobs
that require no interpersonal contact.
FACT: While mental illness can cause problems in interpersonal relations,
each person's strengths and deficits are different, as are each job's
requirements. (For example, the interpersonal skills needed for a desk clerk
at a Motel 6 are different than those required for a desk clerk at a
five-star hotel.) Rather than broadly generalizing about personal barriers,
it is best to help job seekers with mental illness understand their own
capabilities and how those capabilities fit into a specific job match.

MYTH: Since it seems impossible to find a job listing that fits a particular
customer, it is unlikely he/she will be able to find any appropriate job.
FACT: There are many points of entry into the world of work. Networking and
personal relationships are important ways to create jobs that fit. Employers
are much more flexible then we often realize. One-Stop staff should work on
finding out the needs of employers and proposing to fill them in a way that
is a "win-win" for all involved.

The article Myths and Facts About Mental Illness can be read in its entirety
by clicking on the underlined name.


References

Marrone, J., Balzell, A., Gold, M. (1995). Employment Supports for People
with Mental Illness. Psychiatric Services 46(7), 707-711.

Marrone, J., Gandolfo, C., Gold, M., Hoff, D. (1998). Just Doing It: Helping
People with Mental Illness Get Good Jobs. Journal of Applied Rehabilitation
Counseling, 29 (1), 37-48.

Marrone, J., Gold, G. (1994). Supported Employment for People with Mental
Illness: Myths & Facts. Journal of Rehabilitation, 60 (4), 38-47.

National Alliance for Mentally Ill (www.nami.org)

Written by:
Institute for Community Inclusion
The National Center on Workforce and Disability/Adult is based at the
Institute for Community Inclusion at the University of Massachusetts Boston.
It is funded through the U.S. Department of Labor's Office of Disability
Employment Policy (ODEP). Read our accessibility statement.
© Copyright 1992-2002, Institute for Community Inclusion


Return To Top

4. Employer Issues

MYTH: Only employers who are "Good Samaritans" will hire someone with mental
illness.
FACT: Employers hire people with mental illness for a number of reasons. The
primary reason is the same reason that they hire anyone else - in order to
get the services of a good employee. Additionally, employers may hire an
individual with a mental illness because they appreciate the consultation
and support that an agency offers, and/or because they believe it is the
right thing to do. For more information, see the piece "Why Employers Hire
People with Disabilities" elsewhere in this section.

MYTH: Employers need to know that a person has a mental illness.
FACT: Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, employers cannot ask about
a person's disability, and people are under no obligation to disclose that
they have a disability. It is essential to discuss the issue of disclosure
with a customer early in the job hunting process, and to help that person
make an informed choice about the best course of action to pursue. See the
discussion on disclosure in the piece entitled, "Contacting Employers:
Disclosure, Interviews, and Accommodations" elsewhere in this section.

MYTH: Employment settings are limited in their ability to handle people who
are perceived as deviating from the norm.
FACT: Community settings can and do accommodate a range of skills and
behaviors, and employers are getting better every day at creating
environments which value and support a wide range of personalities. Advocacy
and a good person-job match are key to a successful job search.

MYTH: It is very difficult to accommodate a worker with a mental illness.
FACT: By definition, accommodation is specific to an individual and a job.
There are many types of possible accommodations, such as flexible work
schedules, job creation and job carving, and providing a co-worker mentor.
It is important to approach the issue of accommodations with an employer in
the spirit of cooperation. Most data show that accommodation costs are
minimal (less than $500) in the overwhelming majority of situations. See
Section 6, "Job Accommodations", for additional information and examples.

MYTH: If person with mental illness gets a job and it does not work out, it
means that that person is less likely to succeed in another job.
FACT: Different job situations, even the same job titles with different
employers, have both similarities and differences. When a person with a
mental illness loses a job, that person should not be precluded from seeking
another job right away. The fact that the person was successful in becoming
employed should be celebrated. At the same time, help the person understand
what went awry and how it can be avoided in the future. The loss of a job
can be a learning experience. Focus on what the individual learned about
his/her strengths and abilities, and then use this knowledge to find a
better job!


The article Myths and Facts About Mental Illness can be read in its entirety
by clicking on the underlined name.

#11935 From: "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:11 am
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders
twinmomtina
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 

Shannon,

 

If you’re not happy with “your” life as it is, would it be so bad to go back home?  Especially if your mom would be supportive and not condescending.  My sister has bp (me too) and also went through rehab for drugs and alcohol.  She stayed with me awhile while she was waiting to get into a halfway house, and the cycles she went through, I don’t know how she could have done it alone. 

 

It does not have to be a permanent decision.  Maybe just a hiatus, until you get adjusted to your meds.  Or you could go for a trial period and see if the situation would be less or more stressful.  But if your mother isn’t the one to “take care of you,” make sure you have someone you can lean on.  That’s what tough periods are for and sometimes it’s so hard to ask for help or feel you don’t deserve it, but you do.  Don’t think of it as a failure.  Get the support you need.

 

Tina

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: shnnygrl [mailto:no_reply@yahoogroups.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 1:47 AM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders

 

Hi everyone.  I posted here for the first time about 2 1/2 weeks
ago.  It helps me to read what everyone says as I can relate to so
much of it.  I was dx as being bipolar type 2 about a month ago.  I
was in the hospital for 9 days and left feeling hopeful.  Now, I
don't know how I feel other than...depressed still.  I tried to stop
taking my medications thinking they weren't really helping.  Two days
later I was crying harder than I've ever cried then hysterically
laughing back to crying my eyes out.  This lasted for about 5 hours. 
I felt like I had no control over my mind or body.  It was horrible. 
Needless to say, I realize the medication must help somewhat and I
wont just stop taking them ever again.  I guess I'm writing mostly
because I don't know how to deal with all of this.  I'm 29 years old
and part of me wants to run home to Mom, and another part of me gets
pissed off when she even suggests it.  I honestly don't think this
medication I'm on is working (seroquel and depakote).  I think I've
gained 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  My hair is falling out.  AND I
still feel flipping depressed!  Not as depressed as before, not
thinking of ways to kill myself.  But depressed enough that I am
almost..afraid to answer my phone.  I rarely leave my house.  What
the hell am I afraid of??  I have no clue.  I feel like I can't fully
function anymore.  I am a prisoner and I could only admit this to all
of you, because I think at least a few of you will understand.  I
think I'm almost afraid to feel healthy.  I have been depressed for
as long as I can remember.  I've had racing thoughts and ideas for so
long that it's a part of me.  When I first started the seroquel it
was the oddest feeling to have my mind be quiet..blank.  I felt like
my mind was a chalk board and someone came by and wiped it clean.  Is
that how it is to be "normal"??  I feel like I'm just existing these
days.  I am not happy.  I feel I was forced due to circumstances to
make some choices that had it not been for my being sick I wouldn't
have made.  I don't know how to get out of it now.  I feel stuck and
lost and alone.  My Mom is pressuring me to move to her state so she
can "take care of me".  Part of me wants to run home to her, but
another part of me feels that that's a cop out.  That my life is
here, maybe it's not the life I want, but it's mine.  I just wish I
knew what to do.  Any encouragement or advice would mean a lot. 
Thanks for listening to me ramble.  Shannon




#11934 From: "Tina Kunst" <tkunst@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 10:01 am
Subject: RE: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within
twinmomtina
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 

Thanks Bonnie for being such a good resource.  You are absolutely right.  That’s why addictive behavior is so closely tied with bp.  Good and bad are on such a continuum and there are so many factors involved in our moral decisions, even for a so called “normal” person.  Sure, hopefully, we can take responsibility for our actions, even if guided by the bp disease.  However, to say that those actions are our intentions, or our nature, is just not fair.  I struggle every day to make the right choices for my family and thank god everyday that I have children to keep me grounded.  Even then, it is sooo hard and I fumble a lot.  I do take responsibility and I do try to make the right choices, but like you said, when I’m in the right state, I can’t think of one logical reason why NOT to do something.

 

Also, I recently read of a recent study that teenagers cannot reason properly.  That area of the brain is not fully developed yet, and that’s why high schoolers, even those who are bright and stable, make such stupid choices sometimes.  That’s probably the same area of the brain you are talking about Bonnie.

 

Tina

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie and Daniel [mailto:lost_inalaska@...]
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2004 10:48 PM
To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: The demon within

 

this one begs a reply.

bipolar DOES interfere with the decision making ability, and with the logic and rational thinking processes! some who wuold NEVER  dream of acting out sexually, do so when manioc. some who would NEVER  dream of stealing, may do so when manic. there IS proof of this. the parts of the brain responsible for those choices are seriously affected in some cycles. behavior which wuold never occur to some as acceptable, suddenly becomes ok, and the reasoning needed to prevent it, simply does not make sense to them at that time.

had to say this bit.

no more preaching.

god bless you,

bonnie

patriotz2004 <patriotz2004@...> wrote:

Serena
I agree with what you said.  Many blame bipolar for their misconduct
erroneously.  Bipolar does NOT change your moral convicitons - if you
are basically honest, good etc you will display the same character
being bipolar.  But if you are dishonest by natue, biploar may
exarbate your behavior.
Larry

--- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, marejain <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> hi kay my name is serena and i have had bipolar for many many years. 
> i understand all the things you are saying about god and your son and
> his demons and all of this but i have never gone manic to where i
> have been violent.  and the demons, i beleive are put in our heads
> not by our own selves but by the people we grew up with.  these are
> my demons and they are not as easy as a "NORMAL" ! person thinks to get
> them out or repress them. i have prayed my whole life and no one has
> helped me but me.....and that is hard.  hell i cant even get my so
> called wonderful boyfriend to understand(or even try for that matter.
> im not trying to be mean but alot of us in here, we have alot of very
> bad bipolar problems from day to day and i know we pray and do
> everything our drs and everyone else tells us to do, sometimes it
> works but most of the time it does not work and we always come back
> (usually worse than ever).  has he tried anger management classes and
> AA/NA? these may also be very beneficial to him and you.  Love serena
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "Kay Fielding"
> <berners@i...> wrote:
> > I am not bipolar.  My son is.  However, I think that we all have
> demons
> > within.  I do not think it is a bipolar issue.
> >
> > For example, you have heard of a muse?  A muse is that creature (or
> > whatever) that guides a great writer's writing.  If the person
> writes like
> > Poe (who I think was awesome), does that mean that he is crazy? 
> How about
> > Stephen King?
> >
> > We all have our own demons in our head.  We have those that
> say "you are
> > worthless."  We all feel that way at times.  We have those that
> say "you are
> > crazy."  We have those that say "you are not worth even the bullet
> to blow
> > you to hell."  But that doesn't make us bad or wrong or a loser. 
> If you are
> > bipolar, you might hear it louder than other do.  You might listen
> more
> > carefully.  You might even believe easier.  But i! t doesn't make it
> true if
> > you hear it in your head.  Does your head always give you right
> information?
> > And it doesn't make it true if your significant other (who might be
> nuts)
> > says it either.  And it doesn't make it true if a parent or friend
> says it.
> > Do people always give you infallible information?  It makes it true
> if you
> > believe it and choose it for yourself.
> >
> > Why in the world would you want to believe that you are anything but
> > beautiful?  God created us all in His image.  Imagine that!  You
> are created
> > in the image of God!  If you are, and you are, then only the
> demons, the
> > lying demons, can tell you that you are worthless.  God doesn't
> consider
> > your worthless.  You are his child, and worth enough that he sent
> his! son to
> > suffer and die for you.  God sent his perfect son, his best son,
> his very
> > best child, to pay the price to bring you to Him only because he
> felt you
> > were worth so much to Him that He didn't want to let you go.  And
> even if
> > you are any other religion, they also say that you are saved
> because you are
> > the child of a God.  Who says you are worthless?  Only the lying,
> deceiving,
> > creeping crawling things that visit your head to destroy you.  Why
> be
> > destroyed by some Thing that is wrong?
> >
> > Live as if you have a purpose.  You do.  In God's world, you have a
> purpose.
> > And He allowed you to be created so that you could fulfill that
> purpose.
> > And nobody else is as good as you are to do that job.  So go find
> out what
> &g! t; it is and be productive.  You can sit around all your life in fear,
> in
> > self-criticism, and feeling worthless, but why?  You will feel
> better about
> > yourself when you help others.  We were created to help others.
> >
> > My son, who has been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as bipolar, went
> manic at
> > his dad's house in May.  He apparently broke in and stole stereos
> and
> > alcohol from houses.  He is in juvy.  Although he is 17, they are
> discussing
> > pressing charges against him as an adult.  It is hard for me to
> deal with
> > this.  If you are a person who prays, please pray.
> >
> > Thanks for hearing me.
> >
> > Kay
> >   -----Original Message-----
> >   From: Yoga4life83@a... [mailto:Yoga4life83@a...]
> >   Sent! : Monday, June 28, 2004 9:16 AM
> >   To: alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com
> >   Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] The demon within
> >
> >
> >   WOW.
> >   that explains SO well the questions that have been haunting me
> for so
> > long. i don't know. i keep hoping meds will help suppress the
> demons, but it
> > doesn't; they have a hold on me, too.
> >   emily
> >
> >
> >   In a message dated 6/28/2004 12:05:43 AM Central Daylight Time,
> > canislupus7777@y... writes:
> >     To save yourself from a dark fate you first have to remove
> yourself
> >     from dark places. Sometimes you aren't able to remove yourself
> soon
> >     enough. Before the darkness begins to live within you. It > visits you
> >     not just in your worst of moments, but also in your best .
> Dimming
> >     the light that those few occasions have to offer. It holds you
> and
> >     tells you that this is where you belong. That no matter how far
> you
> >     run or how hard you work for something better...the darkness,
> sooner
> >     or later, will claim you. How do I fight the demon that
> consumes me?
> >     When it's me that is the demon within? And it's me who feeds it
> so
> >     lavishly? How do I end the evil warfare inside my head from
> draining
> >     all the life inside my soul?
> >
> >     Canis...waya
> >
> >
> >         Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> >               ADVERTISEMENT
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
> > --
> >   Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >     a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
> >     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alicesbipolarchat/
> >
> >     b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >     alicesbipolarchat-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.


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#11933 From: "Shannon" <smrand3@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 9:55 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: Need some shoulders
sanyand3
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Are there by chance 2 Shannon's here.  I get email to me that is not in
regard to me other than the name.

this is Shannon Craig from now on I will write shannon c ok
----- Original Message -----
From: "marejain" <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>
To: <alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 11:32 PM
Subject: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Re: Need some shoulders


> ((((((((((((shannon))))))))))))
> oh babe i am so sorry about all the stuff you are going through, i
> can relate to alot of the things you are saying .  i am 28 and i was
> dx bp1 about 4 years ago (give or take a few) i was also admitted,
> but i admitted myself because i was feeling the same feelings you are
> having now.  it is the scariest feeling, like someone is going to get
> us.  if you need to talk please just reach out and grab hold of
> everyones hand and we will pray together.  hang in there, there is
> hope.  Love, serena
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, "christina"
> <reaverwoman@h...> wrote:
> > shannon you need a med switch!
> >
> > falling hair is a serious side effect, tell your doc immediately!
> >
> > most psych meds have weight gain so there is not much to be done
> for
> > that except iron will of not eating any extra, lol, even tho the
> meds
> > make you think you are starving to death, lol.
> >
> > seroquel takes time toi get used to, all meds do, give them 2
> months
> > usually unless severe side effects like hair falling out.
> >
> > you are new to your dx, there is hope i promise!
> >
> >
> > love, christina.
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In alicesbipolarchat@yahoogroups.com, shnnygrl <no_reply@y...>
> > wrote:
> > > Hi everyone.  I posted here for the first time about 2 1/2 weeks
> > > ago.  It helps me to read what everyone says as I can relate to
> so
> > > much of it.  I was dx as being bipolar type 2 about a month ago.
> I
> > > was in the hospital for 9 days and left feeling hopeful.  Now, I
> > > don't know how I feel other than...depressed still.  I tried to
> > stop
> > > taking my medications thinking they weren't really helping.  Two
> > days
> > > later I was crying harder than I've ever cried then hysterically
> > > laughing back to crying my eyes out.  This lasted for about 5
> > hours.
> > > I felt like I had no control over my mind or body.  It was
> > horrible.
> > > Needless to say, I realize the medication must help somewhat and
> I
> > > wont just stop taking them ever again.  I guess I'm writing
> mostly
> > > because I don't know how to deal with all of this.  I'm 29 years
> > old
> > > and part of me wants to run home to Mom, and another part of me
> > gets
> > > pissed off when she even suggests it.  I honestly don't think
> this
> > > medication I'm on is working (seroquel and depakote).  I think
> I've
> > > gained 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  My hair is falling out.  AND
> I
> > > still feel flipping depressed!  Not as depressed as before, not
> > > thinking of ways to kill myself.  But depressed enough that I am
> > > almost..afraid to answer my phone.  I rarely leave my house.
> What
> > > the hell am I afraid of??  I have no clue.  I feel like I can't
> > fully
> > > function anymore.  I am a prisoner and I could only admit this to
> > all
> > > of you, because I think at least a few of you will understand.  I
> > > think I'm almost afraid to feel healthy.  I have been depressed
> for
> > > as long as I can remember.  I've had racing thoughts and ideas
> for
> > so
> > > long that it's a part of me.  When I first started the seroquel
> it
> > > was the oddest feeling to have my mind be quiet..blank.  I felt
> > like
> > > my mind was a chalk board and someone came by and wiped it
> clean.
> > Is
> > > that how it is to be "normal"??  I feel like I'm just existing
> > these
> > > days.  I am not happy.  I feel I was forced due to circumstances
> to
> > > make some choices that had it not been for my being sick I
> wouldn't
> > > have made.  I don't know how to get out of it now.  I feel stuck
> > and
> > > lost and alone.  My Mom is pressuring me to move to her state so
> > she
> > > can "take care of me".  Part of me wants to run home to her, but
> > > another part of me feels that that's a cop out.  That my life is
> > > here, maybe it's not the life I want, but it's mine.  I just wish
> I
> > > knew what to do.  Any encouragement or advice would mean a lot.
> > > Thanks for listening to me ramble.  Shannon
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>

#11932 From: ADAM OBRIEN <adamob14@...>
Date: Thu Jul 1, 2004 7:00 am
Subject: Re: [Alices Bipolar Chat ] Need some shoulders
adamob14
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
 
Shannon I had the same thing happen to me about 9 mths ago and I ran home to mum as we call them in Australia but they have been great support I offten wonder if I would of been better sticking it out by myself only you will know. I would go home for a while and see if it is any better. Regards
Adam.

shnnygrl <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
Hi everyone.  I posted here for the first time about 2 1/2 weeks
ago.  It helps me to read what everyone says as I can relate to so
much of it.  I was dx as being bipolar type 2 about a month ago.  I
was in the hospital for 9 days and left feeling hopeful.  Now, I
don't know how I feel other than...depressed still.  I tried to stop
taking my medications thinking they weren't really helping.  Two days
later I was crying harder than I've ever cried then hysterically
laughing back to crying my eyes out.  This lasted for about 5 hours. 
I felt like I had no control over my mind or body.  It was horrible. 
Needless to say, I realize the medication must help somewhat and I
wont just stop taking them ever again.  I guess I'm writing mostly
because I don't know how to deal with all of this.  I'm 29 years old
and part of me wants to run home to Mom, and another part of me gets
pissed off when she even suggests it.  I honestly don't think this
medication I'm on is working (seroquel and depakote).  I think I've
gained 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  My hair is falling out.  AND I
still feel flipping depressed!  Not as depressed as before, not
thinking of ways to kill myself.  But depressed enough that I am
almost..afraid to answer my phone.  I rarely leave my house.  What
the hell am I afraid of??  I have no clue.  I feel like I can't fully
function anymore.  I am a prisoner and I could only admit this to all
of you, because I think at least a few of you will understand.  I
think I'm almost afraid to feel healthy.  I have been depressed for
as long as I can remember.  I've had racing thoughts and ideas for so
long that it's a part of me.  When I first started the seroquel it
was the oddest feeling to have my mind be quiet..blank.  I felt like
my mind was a chalk board and someone came by and wiped it clean.  Is
that how it is to be "normal"??  I feel like I'm just existing these
days.  I am not happy.  I feel I was forced due to circumstances to
make some choices that had it not been for my being sick I wouldn't
have made.  I don't know how to get out of it now.  I feel stuck and
lost and alone.  My Mom is pressuring me to move to her state so she
can "take care of me".  Part of me wants to run home to her, but
another part of me feels that that's a cop out.  That my life is
here, maybe it's not the life I want, but it's mine.  I just wish I
knew what to do.  Any encouragement or advice would mean a lot. 
Thanks for listening to me ramble.  Shannon


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