Wow! What an amazing gift...what an amazing letter...and what an amazing
affirmation that in fact you were a good mother.

You raised an amazing daughter...so thru all the errors you are sure you
made...you had ot have done something right.

Parenting is not something we are born knowing....sadly its pretty much trial
and error. Yes our parents and other adults in our lives should be our
teachers....but we can't blame them. We jsut have to try to do the best we can.
The only thing guaranteed is that we WILL make mistakes along the way.

I am sooooo happy for you and your daughter and the wonderful journey that the
two of you are about to embark on TOGETHER!
 
 Irene 
Life may not be the party you hoped for, but while you are here..you might as
well dance!
"The more you have and are grateful for, The more will be given you."
View My Space at :              http://www.myspace.com/free2birene




________________________________
From: Suzanne <misssueis@...>
To: adult children of child abuse
<adult_children_of_child_abuse@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wed, October 7, 2009 10:26:19 AM
Subject: [AdultChildrenOfChildAbuse] Elderly Abuse

 
hi,I hadn't been strong enoough to comunicate with the list since I joined
but,am ready to share now as I need to.When I joined the list I was on the verge
of a nervous breakdown which now they call post partum depression and I was also
dellusional and also marijuana abuse.I also was having anxiety attacks and was
hospitalized for a week in a mental ward.The reason this happened was,I since
last October was being abused by my sister.My mother is 86 years old and had a
stroke 2 years ago and the doctor told my mother she could not live alone so my
mother begged my sister to quit her job to stay with her so she wouldn't have to
go in a nursing home.My mother gave her full access to her checking and savings
and my sister went through virtually all her life savings and stopped paying her
life insurance policy and ran credit cards up.She went through approximately
70.000 and let my mother with under 10.000 dollars.I live in louisiana and my
mother and sister
live in New york..I also have my youngest daughter who also lives in New
york.My daughter called me back in October and told me whst was going on.I
immediately contacted the police where they live and adult protection took on
the case.The problem was that my mother was and still is considered to be of
sound mind wouldn't tell adult protection what my sister was doing to her
because she wanted to stay in her apartment that she had lived in for 35 years
with her 2 cats.So for 6 months I had to listen to the horror stories of what my
sister was doing to her.I may I flew to New york for 2 reasons,to say my goodbye
to my mother before she died and and also to try to help her help herself.Well
the day before I was to come back home walked into family court and gotr a
restraining order and the next day before my fflight home my mother,daughter and
I went to my mothers bank and put all the accounts back in her name.When I came
back home I joined your list.I
knew something was wrong but,didn't know how badly.I regressed back to that
little child.I would sit at my pc and lost interest in all the things I used to
do.I had thoughs of noone loved me or heard me and felt invisible.2 weeks ago it
came to a head.I never had an anxiety attack in my life and when I did I thought
I was dying.I thought I swallowed my tongue.I called paramedics and they took me
to a hospital where the doctor in the emergny room gave me some bogus medicine
to relax my tongue and his diagnosis is that I was choking.the next day I called
the paramedics again complaining of dizziness.They took my vitals and left my on
my porch dizzy.I couldn't catch my breath.The last time I called 911 again and
they sent a police officer out.He asked me why I couldn't drive myself to the
hospital.I had never had anxiety attacks before so I couldn't explain what was
happening to me.When the officer left I remember screeming on my front porch
somebody help
me! Well I finally in an anxiety attack drove to a hospital and they put me on
the mental ward.I stayed for 1 week.the first day there I still thought
something was physically wrong with me.I called my daughter and told her that
she had to get me outta there after all I did for her.(guilt trip) The next day
I realized it was mental and when my daughter came to visit me I told her I
loved her and that I hurt her and I was sorry.You see,I was a lousy mother.I had
no parenting skills as my parents had none either.The following day when my
daughter came to visit me she gave me a card and I would like to share what my
daughter wrote on that card from her heart.

Dear mom,
No worry,let go of what happened in the past.You were the best mother you knew
how to be.It's not your fault at all you had no idea you were not being a good
mother.You stayed by my side through all the ups and downs so now today we can
climb up up up.I'm here for you just like you were here for me.Believe me it's
my pleasure.I love you not every day but,forever. You've traveled a long hard
road.Now you have a bright new beginning ahead of you and the sails are up.Take
me with you please.We all have needs physical and mental and I know better than
anyone else that none of your needs were ever met.You found a way to survive
through many wars and you will win this one.Even though you didn't create the
war,soldier is who you are with no training,no guns,no gear no shelter.Wow! you
managed to come this far without all of that!!!! I am impressed and proud of
you. My mom is a survivor
Your loving daughter,Rhonda.

This letter from my daughter was the greatest gift I have ever recieved from
her...
My mother is now safe in a nursing home.

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