Welcome to the group, Suzanne and thank you for joining the group. May you find
the support that you need.

Terry, thank you very much for your advice and guidelines. The quotation of
Aristotle in your signature is great.

Posts from members are always welcome!

Please always feel free to share your experiences, how you feel and your
questions with the group; also you can post any article or information which you
think are relevant and could help others.

Just a word of caution because this is the internet, always remember to protect
your privacy by not sharing personal info like phone numbers, exact location
etc, on list or off list. Thank you.

Best wishes to all. Take good care,

Brigitte
List Administrator/Moderator
ACOCA - Adult Children of Child Abuse
http://www.geocities.com/honoryourspirit/stopabuse.html


----- Original Message -----
From: Apacapacas
To: adult_children_of_child_abuse@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 12:26 AM
Subject: [AdultChildrenOfChildAbuse] Welcome new member Suzanne!


Howdy, Suzanne!

Welcome to the group! I'm so sorry you need us, but awfully glad you
reached out to us. I think you'll feel safe here, and will enjoy being
able to express yourself and to offer help when it's needed. You won't
find any one here who will judge you, although you're likely to get lots
of advice from folks who have either been through what you've been
through or are where you are now in your healing. I think I'm one of
the most guilty in the group for offering advice when someone just wants
to vent.

You can rant, rave, vent, write poetry, and even post something you've
seen on the net. The only thing you can't do is flame other members.

When you are writing about sensitive subjects, such as rape,
self-injury, religion, and so on, please write the word ALERT or TRIGGER
in the subject line. Then scroll down, using an asterisk (*) at the
beginning of every other line, until the person opening the email can't
see the first lines of the message. This is to protect those who can't
handle that particular topic.

I'm Terry S - I was sexually abused by my father from the time I was 4
until I was 15. I thought I was doing okay, but it took four marriages
for me to realize I wasn't fit to be a wife. I finally "got over" being
mistrustful of men, met the man of my dreams, and have been happily
married for 26 years.

Again, welcome to the group! I think you'll like it here!

Hug yourself often!

Blessings,

Terry S
--
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way.
You become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing
temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions." - Aristotle, 384
- 322 BC

Suzanne wrote:
> hi,my name is Suzanne.I needed to touch basis with people who have had similar
childhoods as I know they will understand whats happening to me.Two years ago my
mother suffered a stroke and my sister moved in to care for her but,instead took
care of herself and her two sons.My sisters oldest son had been telling me that
he didn't know the money that his mother was sending him was my mothers money.I
found out about a week ago that he did in fact know and so I am devastated by
this.You see,I have a daughter in ny where my mother and sister live and she
contacted me to tell me there was abuse going on.I contacted the police and
Adult protection got involved but,couldn't do anything to help my mother because
she wouldn't tell them anything so for 6 months I had to act like I was ok with
my sister for fear she would stop me from any contact with my mother.Meanwhile,
I got to hear all the horror stories of what my sister was doing to her..My mom
told me one day that my sister ! tol
d her she was doing this to her to pay her back for everything she did to us.I
really didn't like being included in that payback because my mom doesn't even
have to say she is sorry because she is also an abused child and so was my
father.My sister not only spent up practically my mothers whole life savings
but,hadn't been paying the life insurance policy and I was wondering how they
planned to bury my mom.In May I flew to ny and my mother at 86 years old walked
into family court and got a temporay restraining order right before I flew back
home we went to the bank and put all the accounts back in her name .My mom
opened a joint account when my sister moved in.My mom is now safely tucked away
in a nursing home and I chat with her every day.The reason I am here is because
what has transpired in the last ten months has triggered the emotions pain
lonliness of my childhood.I have had tons of theraphy so,I have no problem
talking about my childhood.I am not ashamed in the least ! a
bout what happened to me.I was raised in a family of alcoholics.Had tons of
beatings and watched my father beat my mother.My father used to bring strange
men home that he would meet in the bar and let them sleep with me and my
sister.I believe I was raped as a child because when I think about it I get very
emotional.I know my father did things to me when he was drunk.I was maybe 10
years old and he made me sit on his lap and he was kissing my mouth and
slobbering on my mouth.I remember I wanted to get away from him but,was too
afraid to tell him for fear he would get angry with me so,I remember I waited
till he was done with me and I went to my room and went behind the door so he
wouldn't see my wipe his saliva off my mouth.That memory was repressed for many
years.It came back to me when I was in psycotheraphy.I called my mother to ask
her if dad ever gave my sister and I any attention and she said only when he was
drunk,so it validated what I remembered.There is so mu! ch to
tell so this is a small part as to why I am here.I am in alot of emotional pain
and need the groups support.I know the meaning behind that void that peeps
always talk about that they fill with the wrong things.been there done that and
it can't be filled that way.I don't try to fill it with men anymore or
drugs.been alone for 11 years no more interest in men.I am 55 years old and know
enough about myself to know when I need people.I have become a loner and am also
an atheist.It's funny,I went to a website about abused children that are adults
and it said adults that have been abused usually don't believe in god..Well,I
wonder why? hmmm...No one helped me when I was young .There was noone there to
feel safe.There was noone there to talked to.Lots of yelling lots of
violence.How do I stop it from haunting me.It's everywhere please help
me.............
>




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