New Page 1Perhaps this can help a teen with Bipolar disorder, and their
parents....

----- Original Message -----
From: Julie Fast
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2008 11:03 PM
Subject: Straight Talk for Parents of Teens with Bipolar Disorder: Part Three



Straight Talk for Parents of Teens with Bipolar Disorder: Part Three



March 5, 2008




In This Issue
Straight Talk for Parents of Teens with Bipolar Disorder - Part Three







Although this is a newsletter series for parents- all of us with bipolar
disorder will find it interesting, because we all have our teenage stories!



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This is part three of the Straight Talk for Parents of Teens with Bipolar
Disorder. I've had amazing response to the first two newsletters and I know this
one will be just as helpful. Teenage bipolar disorder is a topic that doesn't
get enough attention. As promised, this newsletter will address typical
teen/bipolar disorder behavior and school.

This newsletter may be for parents, but the information is helpful for
anyone who has a connection to bipolar disorder.

**

When you have a child with bipolar disorder, everything you've been taught
about parenting changes. What works with the typical teen, doesn't work for the
bipolar teen. Because of this, the first challenge you face is determining the
difference between what is 'normal' teenage angst and rebellion versus the far
more serious symptoms of bipolar disorder. This is the focus of the newsletter.

A Story...

Imagine being a 16 year old girl who has the typical teenage worries about
guys, classes, parents, friends and body image. Suddenly she starts to
experience moods she can't explain. She can be angry and depressed one minute
and then upbeat and creative the next. These moods start to affect her sleep and
she gets anxious and confused. Her parents keep asking, "What's wrong with you!
Why are you acting so angry? Why are you spending so much time in your room?'
Or, "Why did you just stop doing your homework? Where were you last night? You
were never like this before." They then talk to their friends and the friends
say, "She's just being a typical teenager. She'll grow out of it." But the
parents know something is wrong. They can feel it. So they call a doctor who
says- "I want to see her and she what's going on." The teenager doesn't want to
go- and this is where two things can happen:

The teenager agrees to go to the appointment and when faced with the
bipolar disorder diagnosis and the meds, she gets scared and then angry and
says, "Why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything wrong! This is your
problem not mine!" Or you can be lucky and have a teen who is scared but open
to hearing and learning more about the diagnosis. Either way, as a parent, you
will then have to learn to recognize what behavior can be tolerated and what
needs immediate attention.

Reality...

No matter what you go through, the reality is that it's going to be hard
to get a teenager with bipolar disorder stabilized. The following information is
for parents who are not sure how to differentiate between typical teen behavior
and bipolar teen behavior. Bipolar behaviors, when left untreated can lead to
drug and alcohol abuse, inappropriate sexual behavior, suicide attempts,
violence and running away. Knowledge is power. Use this information to recognize
what is REALLY happening and then talk with your teen (hopefully!) and a health
care professional before things go too far.

Here are two ways to recognize the difference between typical teen
behavior and bipolar teen behavior:

#1 Behavior.

A typical teen complains, but does it anyway. A bipolar teen complains and
then stubbornly refuses to do anything, no matter what you say is the
consequence.

Typical teens want to rebel, but they also want parameters. They grumble,
pout, yell, slam doors, and complain, but they come home at night. Bipolar teens
just don't have this impulse control. Their moods go beyond the above behaviors.

Grumbling becomes screaming and name calling.
Pouting becomes punishing behavior towards they person they feel wronged
them.
Yelling becomes violent either to you or themselves.
Slamming doors becomes kicking doors, punching walls or breaking
something. (I know this as I have done it.)

Complaining becomes something far more serious. When they feel you have
done something to punish them, they may run away or tell lies about you to
family and friends.

These are just a few examples.

If you really examine the behavior of a teen with bipolar disorder, you
can often see that what they do is simply a much stronger version of what you
would expect from the typical teen.

#2 School

Typical teens may not like school, but they often do well despite their
dislike, or it's very obvious they simply aren't applying themselves. It's not
so clear with bipolar teens.

Typical teens want to experiment in high school- they may actually
experiment or they may be too shy to experiment. But the experimentation is
usually within society's norms. These teens don't want to do homework, but they
do it anyway. If they have learning problems, such as true ADHD, it's easy to
see the causes of their behavior. ADHD does not come with suicide attempts and
hysterical crying for example. These teens look like the teens on television and
in the movies.

My bipolar disorder didn't start in my early teen years, so I can compare
myself to how I was in my first high school years to what it was like when I
went to college. I wasn't fond of high school, but I was certainly able to
focus. I didn't date, but I had friends and a good relationship with my family.
I complained and hated a lot of my classes, but I never skipped school. I was
bored in quite a few classes. I did ok on my SAT's and knew I wanted to go to
college, but I had little guidance and my school work suffered. This was all
normal.

At 18 I went to college and started to fall apart. The combination of
mania, depression, psychosis and ADHD symptoms paired with the excessive
drinking at my school was my undoing. I had no one to help me and I made extreme
mistakes with men and with my classes. I flunked out in less than a year. I was
far from home and bipolar disorder was not exactly talked about in 1982! I wish
I had been diagnosed then..... wishful thinking!

Here are some ways to know if your teenager is having normal school issues
or bipolar disorder related school issues.

Typical teens start to think about sexual relationships in high school-
they don't necessarily experiment with sex (most young teenagers don't) but they
become aware of feelings other than friendship.

Bipolar teens may either be excessively shy and introverted when they
think of sex- staying in their room and painting all of their walls black for
example- or they may be excessively sexual and called a slut or a player at a
very young age. It's hard to read isn't it, but as you may be going through
this, it's important that you know that sexual behavior in very young kids with
bipolar disorder is a possibility.

In terms of school performance, teens with bipolar disorder can have
severe problems in and out of the classroom. School is a highly structured and
often highly pressured place. School mimics all of the problems of adult work
for kids with bipolar disorder. Because of this pressure, teens may not only
have focus problems, they may have mood swings as a result of upcoming exams or
the pressure of going to gym class.

As you know, there is a big difference between nerves and mood swings.

Bipolar teens get hysterical, blow situations out of proportion, start to
act in very strange ways when compared to earlier behavior, fail classes and
become truly confused as to what is happened. Concentration when you're
depressed, manic or psychotic is basically impossible and extra help is needed.
If you think of your teen right now, or of yourself when you were a teen, the
signs of bipolar disorder are often clear. School years can teach you a lot
about the difference between typical behavior and bipolar disorder excess.

FACT: Teens Grow out of Typical Teen Behavior: Kids with Bipolar Disorder
Don't Grow Out of Their Symptoms- they can only manage them and prevent them.

It's true that typical teen behavior usually passes after a few years and
the child becomes an adult with adult maturity. Untreated bipolar disorder
caused teen behavior rarely has such a good outcome and can lead to problems for
the rest of a teen's life. This is why knowledge from the very beginning of a
teen's diagnosis is essential.

Solution: How to Use My Books to Help Yourself and Your Teenager

I have suggests for all parents of teens with bipolar disorder- the main
one being - create a treatment plan now.

Teens with bipolar disorder MUST have a plan to manage the illness for the
rest of their lives and it needs to start very early. This plan MUST involve
family, friends, health care professionals and teachers.

If your teen refuses to use the plan, they you have to use it yourselves
in order to keep your family intact. If your teen is open to a plan, but isn't
sure what to do, this is where my books come in. The Health Cards are my main
treatment plan- I've used them for the past seven years and they work. I wish,
with all of my heart that I had known about bipolar disorder management when I
was a teen. I would have saved myself many years of hell. The Health Cards are
ageless- I know parents who use them with a six year old. I know many families
who use them directly with a teenager. I also know families who use them on
their own when the teenager refuses help. They work for everyone- but like any
plan you choose- the plan only works if you sit down, learn how it works and
start to use it. The years are going to pass anyway- you might as well start a
plan today.

My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is not really appropriate for
a teen- the topics are so adult- but, it is a great resource for parents as you
will be able to use what is pertinent in the book.

Once a teen with bipolar disorder has accepted the diagnosis- even if the
acceptance is fleeting, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder can help a lot. It
requires quite a bit of maturity though- I suggest you read it first and then
decide if your teen is ready for the treatment plan it suggests- this plan is
based off of the Health Cards and works well with the system.

Get it Done When You're Depressed can definitely help a teen with bipolar
disorder. The book hardly mentions the diagnosis, so this may be the most
accessible book for an older teen who has trouble getting through the day,
especially in terms of school.

Teens with bipolar disorder need their own book!

I'm currently working on a book for teens with bipolar disorder. I feel
it's SO needed and I want to get it done quickly so that it can save teens and
their families years of worry. This is a treatable illness! I was sick as a
teen, but I am much better now. It's never too early, or too late to create a
plan.

Parenting is hard, isn't it! Parenting a teen with bipolar disorder is
even harder. But there is hope and your family can be a success story.

Start your plan now.

Julie

If you're a teen with bipolar disorder, please write and tell me what you
would like to see in a book - what would help you? Reply to
comments@... with TEEN in the subject line. Your input is
appreciated.


BipolarHappens.com

P.O. Box 86728
Portland, OR
97286
US


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