From Maureen - thanks

Program helps Indian dads, children bond
By Travis Coleman Journal staff writer

http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2007/04/27/news/top/9ae9794998861875862\
572ca000e8bd9.txt


Six months ago, a rift with the mother of his 2-year-old son stopped Robert
Rouillard from seeing his son.

"I felt like I was down and out. You wake up every morning and think about your
son and he's not there," Rouillard said.

Then came Fatherhood is Sacred, a 12-week program that Rouillard joined to help
him become a better dad. Rouillard, along with Anthony Yellowbank from Sioux
City, graduated from the Mesa, Ariz.-based program and recently created the
first urban chapter of the program that had only been offered to American Indian
men on reservations.

Rouillard's participation in the program helped him recently gain temporary
custody of his son.

About 20 dads from the Omaha, Santee and Winnebago tribes joined Rouillard
recently to discuss similar experiences and what the program means to them.

"It's a guiding light that allows us to be what we were meant to be," said
attendee Scott Aldrich. "And that's a leader."

Aldrich and others are products of the program created in 2001 by Albert Pooley.
When the program first began, there was only one attendee. The program then
reached out to American Indian fathers in jail. But the program has since
reached out to those who are set to become dads to those looking for ways to
become a more effective dad.

"When the program found me, I thought I was living a pretty decent life,"
Yellowbank said. "It has enhanced me, helped me. My life has been getting better
and better by the day."

The program is the first of its kind, as courses that seek to create a stronger
bond between parent and child have been traditionally offered to women and
children.

And, according to organizers, the need for the program is strong.

The lack of strong father figures is, in part, a factor in the
disproportionately high amount of American Indian children in foster care and
the number of youth suicides, said Terry Medina, a 52-year-old probation officer
from Winnebago, Neb., who teaches the course at the Winnebago Tribe of
Nebraska's chapter. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for American
Indian men ages 15-24, according to the American Association of Suicidology in
Washington D.C.

"We are the first teacher to our children. We are their first role models,"
Medina said.

This isn't always the case though. Historically, American Indian children have
been raised by grandparents, single moms or foster parents, Medina said.

Through learning five principles -- creator, choice, teachable, wisdom and
service -- participants become better fathers because "they listen and they feel
with their hearts," Medina said.

Meetings usually set for two hours often stretch to four. In most cases, these
men just needed people to listen to them, Medina said.

"The healing happens. It's beautiful," Medina said.

As the men huddled in a circle, they shared their fears and regrets. These men
-- some former gang members, recovering alcoholics and ex-cons -- are now paying
child support, regaining custody of their children and working.

Through these confessionals, Medina has seen past participants undergo stunning
transformations.

"You could take a picture of them and put it on a poster and imagine the worst
fathers ever," Medina said. "Twelve weeks later, these guys are fathers of the
year."

So far, there has been 15 graduates from the Omaha Tribe's chapter and 20
graduates from the Winnebago chapter. The Santee Sioux Tribe is also set to
start a chapter.

Last November, 500 dads attended the first national Fatherhood is Sacred
conference in Mesa. In the works is an instructional video and a Motherhood is
Sacred companion program. Eventually, Medina hopes to have a Fatherhood is
Sacred chapter on every reservation.
Fatherhood is Sacred is held Thursdays at 6 p.m. at the First Nations Outreach
Center, 804 West Seventh St. For more information, call Anthony Yellowbank at
(712) 212-8949 or the Office of Indian Education at (712) 252-0811.
For more information, call Anthony Yellowbank at (712) 212-8949 or the Office of
Indian Education at (712) 252-0811.
For more information, call Anthony Yellowbank at (712) 212-8949 or the Office of
Indian Education at (712) 252-0811.

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