I had case manager and therapy today....wait a second...therapy was
cancelled due to therapist illness. That was one bit of "good" news.

I thought my case manager was going to be fun today, but after dad got home
from his neurological appointment he started telling her things about me. I
finally snapped. I said I had it... And I don't want to get kicked out of
the house cause I don't do my share at home. I do help with cleaning dishes
I help when I can with the trash, the lawn, feeding our poor cat. WHat
more do you want besides a piece of my welfare check for rent and gas money.
I don't see my sister even remotely helping with anything. SHe does like a
dish then she asks for relieve. Yes it still bothers me. Yes she has a job
So what!!! I know you guys have jobs or school and still do house chores.
What's wrong with her doing things on the weekend??? It bugs me to so the
point I did raise my voice. That's what they wanted today. My deepest
anger moment. THat shows my case manager how angry I can get. I didn't
hurt anyone I don't think but I just boiled.

I don't know if I'll ever go back to my regular therapist. Everyone says I
didn't improve since NOvember since I started seeing them. Or was it
September a week after my uncle died. Who knows.

Then dad got on my with the therapist saying I ask him to clean after
himself or the floor if he sees something and he don't. I said if I move
shoes out of the way like you claim, and then you ask where I put them I may
forget. I know it sounds like an excuse, but with my memory so lousy, I
will forget where I put things if I move things for them. I even feel
scared throwing the newspaper away for the day not knowing if they wanted it
kept for something. I know they would put it to the side or something, but
it seems if I do something wrong, I'll get the blame, but who is told to do
this stuff.

I rode my dad's new riding tractor today. It kept stalling though. I guess
dad set the blade too low or something. ANyway we got finished with the
grass. The ride is smooth. Better than the junk he bought last year and
got his money back on. That was a lemon to say the least. We even tried to
make a contraption for the tractor but it didn't work too good. I even told
him you can move a bar to move the grass bags. He denied it, but I proved
him wrong...as he says, do I get a thank you??? NO. So why should I say
thanks for things they do for me?? Oh well I vented enough, but one more
thing...no big deal... I pulled a chest muscle today... I thought I would
share that so if you have a pain somewhere, I got the sympathy pain going on
Take care and thanks for listening...

Good ole me;
Chris

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