I have two VERY handsy boys (in different ways).  My oldest (who's know 9.5)
used to sit on my lap and rub his hands up and down my arms and chest.  All
well and good when he was a toddler but by the time he's school age people
start to give you queer looks!

With him we really started to talk about personal space and what is/isn't
appropriate and also what setting is/isn't appropriate.  So, if he wants to
sit and rub my neck and shoulders at HOME that's okay, but he can't do it
outside the home OR he has to ask if its okay.  Where rubbing my lower arms
was always allowed or hand holding always allowed as well as hugs.  Thus we
were able to refocus the behavior to more appropriate behaviors.  Now, he
rarely does it anymore (but still will occasionally).  We know it is
ENTIRELY a sensory thing!

My youngest, just can't keep his hands to himself and is so impulsive that
it doesn't help.  He uses touching to get attention, especially from kids
that are relatively shy or who have poorer social skills.  He just doesn't
get that THEY don't think he's playing around and don't like it.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Is it normal for most ADHD children to have sleep disorders? My oldest son has
issues with sleeping, but my younger son seems to sleep well at night. Both
children are ADHD and medicated. I don't understand why one has an issue
sleeping but the other is fine???




________________________________
From: Jeffrey Malc <jeffreymalc@...>
To: "adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com"
<adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 8:32:33 PM
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...

 
We give our son clonidine. You should ask your doctor. We also supplement with
small dose of OTC sleep aid.

Sent from my iPod

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail. yahoo.com






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have issues working and my family is in need of the extra income but I dread
leaving my son with a babysitter because it often ends in disaster and the
babysitter decides  they cannot handle my child. I cannot find a way to get him
to behave when I am not there. I think that he does it on purpose because he
simply wants me there all of the time. Any tips?




________________________________
From: justridinmyappy <justridinmyappy@...>
To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 9:11:27 PM
Subject: Re: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice

 
First of all...let me correct something. I didn't really mean that my parents
are getting irratated by my son.. Just that they are used to quiet and we all
know that ADHD kids find it hard to be quiet. He also is having a problem with
respect and behavior problems. He has an appt with a new counselor in a week to
hopefully help with this problem. I know that all of this is alot for them to
take on. And I really do appreciate everything they are doing for us. There is
really no one that can "fill-in" for me, except for my parents. They are there
for him when he gets off the bus if I am working at that time and they are there
for him to get him ready for bed for me til I get home at anywhere from 8-10 pm.
And how much can I really pay for in daycare when I'm making as much as I do?
Now I will have another problem coming up soon. The truck that I have will soon
be repossed because it was wrapped up in a bankruptcy that we had while married.
But, now that we
  are divorcing, he had the bankruptcy dismissed and I can't pay for the truck.
So that will then leave me without a vehicle while he has 4 paid vehicles.
Things may turn around in my favor, but it will most likely take time. I have
learned in this process, that the wheels of justice turn VERY, VERY slowly! Even
for kids!

Thanks for all your support and help!

Wendy
--- In adhdparentssupportg roup@yahoogroups .com, MELISSA GRIEBEL <magriebel@.
..> wrote:
>
>
> Could you find a home daycare situation where he might have more one-on-one
time with caregivers than a big center? Or a co-operative situation with another
mom?
>
>
>
> Melissa
>
>
>
> To: adhdparentssupportg roup@yahoogroups .com
> From: barbjay@...
> Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:51:09 -0600
> Subject: Re: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice
>
>
>
>
>
> I am replying to this after reading Monica's reply and really . . . she is the
voice of experience, so I can not add anything to what she said, except we're
here for you. Anytime. Just let us know what specifically you have problems
with.
>
> You say that your parents get annoyed with your son . . . what specifically is
irritating? Maybe we can find a solution for you to that problem.
>
> I sense that your concern is that you will not be able to handle a daycare
problem when you're at work and you need to figure out who you can get help from
to intervene in situations like that?? About the only thoughts that occur to me
are:
>
> Are you close with anyone in a church group who could step in once in awhile
if there's a problem while you're at work?
> Are there any other family members who could step in once in awhile if there's
a problem while you're at work?
>
> I wish you luck!
>
> Barb
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: justridinmyappy
> To: adhdparentssupportg roup@yahoogroups .com
> Sent: Monday, November 09, 2009 9:27 PM
> Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice
>
> I am now the single parent of my ADHD 8-year old son. His father and I are
going through a divorce and we live 200 miles from each other, so he is not
going to be much help to me with our son. Until I get back on my feet, my son
and I are living with my parents. I am working a part-time job and I am
considering looking for another part-time job so that I can have more money for
us to get our own place. I am getting no monetary help fom his father. If I do
get another job, that will not leave much time for my son and I to have time
together. As it is, I feel very guilty for doing what I am doing now. My parents
are used to living by themselves and getting somewhat frustrated with their
grandson. My son has had a hard time with daycare centers in the past with his
ADHD. So my question to you all is...how do I handle working and the problems
that will arise at whatever daycare center I have him attend? I don't want to
short change my son by working and
  not having enough time to spend with him? We can't live with my parents for the
rest of our lives.
>
> Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
>
> Wendy
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ok so this is going to sound odd, but a few years ago my husband and I attended
a training called " Growing kids Gods Way". In that training they addresses this
issue. They said that a lot of times it is because this is the only time of day
that the child sees the parents spending time with each other. They recommended
that you have "couch time". This is 30 min spent sitting on the couch and the
kids be in another room. And usually a few minutes after hubby gets home from
work. No TV on and no phone calls. Time that the kids are taught that this is
your time together and they are to to disrupt it. They said that kids crave
seeing their parents interact with each other to reassure them that their family
is safe. Here is a link to this particular subject.
http://www.growingkids.org/2008/06/24/couch-time-2/<http://www.growingkids.org/2\
008/06/24/couch-time-2/>  I hope this will help.

Loreita Holladay
FourPointGroup

719-564-5642

Providing a positive partnership for your success!!
http://happyhealth.fourpointmoms.com<http://happyhealth.fourpointmoms.com/>
http://happyhealth.fourpointconsultants.com<http://happyhealth.fourpointconsulta\
nts.com/>
http://happyhealth.fourpointwellness.com<http://happyhealth.fourpointwellness.co\
m/>
If you are ready to make a change in your financial future, contact me now. I
can help!!


   ----- Original Message -----
   From: jordan0197@...<mailto:jordan0197@...>
   To: Yahoo group ADHD<mailto:adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com>
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 2:55 PM
   Subject: RE: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...




   We gave up and allowed a "family bed". Now we all get a better nights
rest......

  
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp<http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T0\
71000.asp>

   To:
adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com<mailto:adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogrou\
ps.com>
   From: hippygirl5683@...<mailto:hippygirl5683@...>
   Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:48:33 +0000
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...

   I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed at night and
go to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a rain machine, letting
him watch a movie, putting on soothing music and telling him to listen with his
ears. We have tried taking toys away, and giving in to what he wants.... we are
lost.. thanks in advance. :)



   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

WHen my DS was hat age, there was a parent volunteer in the classroom @ the end
of the day.  Her job was to make sure the kids had what they needed to do their
homework.  Saved lots of trips back to school.  Once my DS hit 5th grade and
beyond, it was a struggle.  But in 7th grade, after a rough first 1/2 of the
year in school, my DS's guidance counselor said to me, "Isn't he part of the
after school homework club?  DUH . . . well, NO, nobody said anything about it
till NOW.  So, from that point on, it was a little easier, because the tutor who
ran this group made sure everyone had what they needed to do their homework and
if there were questions, she was able to guide them through it.

Once DS hit High School (he's 17 and a Senior) he was in a tutored study hall. 
That was his "place" to get help with whatever homework he didn't understand. 
It also gave him a purpose, because if he was done with his homework, and
someone was having difficulties (and he how to help this student) he was allowed
to help them.  That helped him a lot.

So, hope that this helps.

Barb
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: nlow2468
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 9:17 PM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Forgetting stuff at school



   Hi,

   If anyone has any suggestions as to how to deal with your child constantly
forgetting to bring stuff home from school, I am desperate to hear them!!

   I've tried everything I can think of, but my daughter (grade 4) just doesn't
use the strategies I give her. I make checklists for her but she doesn't take
the time to look at them. I put sticky notes in her agenda, but I can't know
ahead of time everything that she'll need to bring home that day. I've driven
her back to the school and made her go to the office and ask to get into her
classroom to retrieve something (she hates doing this because she feels
embarassed, but not enough to help her remember the next time).

   My daughter takes the bus home so she can't take her time and check and double
check for things carefully or she'd miss her bus.

   I'm at a loss as to what to try next, and I can't stand to see my daughter
getting behind on assignments, not able to study for tests or practise her
music, etc.....just because she can't remember to bring home the necessary
materials!!

   And she is on meds already, which help in many areas, but apparently not this
one!

   Nadine





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Just a couple of thoughts. First of all, at 8 it is not unusual at all to want
to play vs. work.  BUT it is important to help them develop a "work ethic" --
work first then you can play.  Not easy for kids to learn.

As for the ADDerall, that could be behing the heightened emotions your DD seems
to be experiencing.  Yes, sometimes it does seem like our kids are "medicine
guinea pigs" until you hit on the right med.  However, it is also very important
to realize that their treatment plan has to include more than just meds.  I"ll
attach a list of things I have found helpful to develop a well-rounded treatment
plan.

Good luck.  I'm sure you'll get more advice, too.

Barb

HOW TO CREATE A WELL BALANCED TREATMENT PLAN

1.  Get a good physical to rule out any physical problems that could be causing
ADHD-like symptoms. Thyroid dysfunction, for example, can cause ADHD-like
symptoms. Also, especially if you're considering using stimulant meds to treat
your child, get a baseline EKG.  You might start out by having your pediatrician
do the physical and get a referral for specialists (developmental pediatrician,
psychologist, psychiatrist, pediatric neurologist - whatever specialty seems
appropriate to get the answers you need to help your child.)


2.  Cognitive behavioral therapy - - a therapist (could be behavioral therapist,
psychologist) who teaches your child ways to handle things like anger
management, how to handle frustrations, dealing with transitioning from one
activity to another, for example. Behavior modification is part of this.


3.  Good nutrition - - A diet that is well balanced, includes the least amt. of
processed foods as possible, excludes dyes and other things that may cause
sensitivities. A balanced intake of proteins, carbohydrates and fats is very
important to maintain good nutritional health. Reading labels and avoiding
overly processed food and foods with dyes (red and yellow seem to be the biggest
culprits for causing problems.) helps. Sugar . . . well that can cause problems,
so limiting it is always a good idea. Especially if there is a problem with
weight loss on meds, talk with your Dr. to get a recommendation for a good
multi-vitamin. Consider supplements like Carnation Instant Breakfast or
Pediasure. Breakfast (for my DS) is always BEFORE taking meds, so he's hungry. 
Consider consulting a nutritionist.  Get the kids involved in planning and
preparing meals.  Explore the possibility that picky eating could be tied to
sensory issues like taste, smell, or texture of the food to try to design a way
around these issues.  Try to include at least one food your child likes to eat.


4.  Talk therapy: This is sessions with a
psychiatrist/psychologist/psychotherapist to talk objectively about problems and
determine potential solutions. Sometimes if your child is not cooperative with
this, it may be you as the parent who attends sessions to develop a repertoire
of techniques to help your child.


5.  A stable, routine daily schedule - - most (not all) kids fare much better
with a routine that is routine, routine, routine! Many kids feel they can focus
better when their day is structured and a routine is followed.


6.  Balance rest and exercise - - plenty of physical exercise and enough rest -
and address sleep problems with the Dr. as needed.


7.  Medication - - AS NEEDED and required, IF needed or required - - DO YOUR
RESEARCH! This is not something any parent enters into lightly, but it helps to
know about the medications you're considering. Recognize that meds are only ONE
component of a well rounded treatment plan. Often it may facilitate your child's
ability to use the other tools in the treatment plan. If you choose meds, it is
not written in stone s/he has to continue if you see it is not helping or even
making things worse. Don't be afraid to talk about what you're seeing with the
Dr. You are your child's best advocate and you know your child the best.


8.  Depending on the needs of your child, and the existence of other diagnoses
and/or related issues, possibly physical therapy, occupational therapy, and/or
social skills training may need to be part of the treatment plan. So, if your
child's behavior pattern seems to suggest there is more than one issue going on,
it is wise to have that evaluated, so appropriate help can begin



9.  Modify your child's environment to help them succeed.  For example, if your
child cannot self-regulate the amount of TV viewed, set limits and even consider
investing in timer programs so your child learns to regulate it themselves. 
(thanks to Deb Fjeld for this)

Your child will only make progress with a well-rounded, inclusive treatment plan
because all the pieces of the treatment plan work together - not alone.





   ----- Original Message -----
   From: mrsmkthomas
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 7:26 AM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] ADD meds/issues



   I have an 8 year old little girl, who is fun and loving most of the time. She
has add, she is not overly hyper or have serious behavior problems. But we are
having trouble finding the right meds. She is now on adderell, taking 10 mg
twice a day. She isnt eating much and gets annoyed very easy...with other kids,
teachers, etc. Now she is overly emotional too. I called her dr and he is
decreasing her meds, but I dont know if this is a good idea either. I feel like
she is becoming a guinnea pig for meds! She can do the work and gets good grades
but she wants to play more than work! Her dr doesnt seem to want to try other
meds now, I am not sure why. I cant seem to get a solid answer from her teachers
about how she is doing, I work at the school so I ask daily if her meds are
helping or not. Is it always gonna be this way? I am in the dark!





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Monica:

Just thinking of you and hoping things are getting a bit better with Aidin.  I
can only imagine you're busy, but let us know how she's doing!

Barb

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have a rule of thumb in our home. If our son isn't sleeping by 20 mins then he
gets melatonin. After we give him some we lay down with him and he is sleeping
within 10 mins (I watch the clock). He loves the taste too. I give him 1/2 mg
and I use the liquid form (gets into the system faster). I bought ours from a
health store in the mall.








To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
From: Monica_Witt@...
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:55:56 -0500
Subject: RE: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...





Melatonin is a herbal supplement that comes in liquid, dissolvable and
pill form. Melatonin is what you brain makes to tell your body it is
time to go to sleep. It is not a sleeping pill and it does not *keep*
you asleep, its main function is to get you over the hump to *initially*
fall asleep.

A lot of kids that are considered neurologically a-typical {kids with
ADHD, ADD, Autism, Bi-polar disorders, PPD-NOS, etc} usually do not
produce enough Melatonin in their brains. Hence, why they bounce off the
walls 24/7. They just do not have the *switch* that makes them want to
actually crawl in bed and get some zzz's even though the rest of their
body is screaming for it.

Many peds are starting to get on board with the *melatonin train*
despite the fact that it is just a herbal supplement. {and we all know
how much doctors and insurance companies love herbal non-profiting
things}

Kids under 5 should not get anymore than 1mg before bed time. The trick
though is to give it 20 minutes before you put them down, do the night
time ritual of teeth brushing, book, potty, etc and then put into bed.
If 20-30 minutes pass and your child is running around, it will slow
them down, but not be effective in getting them asleep. I only give
Aidin a half of a 1mg dose because she is so darn tiny, sometimes even
less than that {we use the liquid form}. The lower the dose the better,
because the higher doses can cause nightmares.

You can get the Melatonin at some health food stores, some GNC's and
even some pharmacies. Give special consideration to the label though as
it comes in 1mg, 3mg and 5mg doses. A 3mg dose will knock me out.

If you need more scientific information I can email that as well. It is
a bit long and very factually oriented, heck the article itself could
put you asleep..lol. But I did my homework thoroughly before giving it
to Aidin as I felt like I was *drugging my kid to get a few zzz's* which
TOTALLY was not the case at all. It has been studied that with added
Melatonin in a child's system {that is lacking it} for a certain amount
of time you can train their bodies to have a good sleep pattern in the
long run. I want to also mention that melatonin works better to assist
with the enforcement of circadian cycles and good sleep hygiene. This
article is a bit on the dry side, it covers a LOT of issues that our
population in particular deals with (sleep disorders in conjunction
other special needs) ... You may find it useful or not if you want it.

*Disclaimer: This information should not be taken over any medical
advice. Please contact your ped/doctor before administering anything to
your child as I am just a silly, sleep deprived, some what crazy mom
that just did some research and got the ok from her own ped. I am also
part of a preemie group and Shadow Syndrome Group that this comes highly
recommended from. Again all personal experience.

Thanks-
Monica ~ mommy to my little girls
~Aidin: 30 wkr, 4.5 years old ~ ADHD & SID
~Adelynn: 36 wkr, 1 year old

________________________________

From: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of ~Kerri~
Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 4:49 PM
To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...




I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed
at night and go to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a
rain machine, letting him watch a movie, putting on soothing music and
telling him to listen with his ears. We have tried taking toys away, and
giving in to what he wants.... we are lost.. thanks in advance. :)





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

We give our son clonidine. You should ask your doctor. We also supplement with
small dose of OTC sleep aid.

Sent from my iPod

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

We gave up and allowed a "family bed". Now we all get a better nights rest......





http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp








To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
From: hippygirl5683@...
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:48:33 +0000
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...





I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed at night and go
to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a rain machine, letting him
watch a movie, putting on soothing music and telling him to listen with his
ears. We have tried taking toys away, and giving in to what he wants.... we are
lost.. thanks in advance. :)






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi,

If anyone has any suggestions as to how to deal with your child constantly
forgetting to bring stuff home from school, I am desperate to hear them!!

I've tried everything I can think of, but my daughter (grade 4) just doesn't use
the strategies I give her.  I make checklists for her but she doesn't take the
time to look at them.  I put sticky notes in her agenda, but I can't know ahead
of time everything that she'll need to bring home that day.  I've driven her
back to the school and made her go to the office and ask to get into her
classroom to retrieve something (she hates doing this because she feels
embarassed, but not enough to help her remember the next time).

My daughter takes the bus home so she can't take her time and check and double
check for things carefully or she'd miss her bus.

I'm at a loss as to what to try next, and I can't stand to see my daughter
getting behind on assignments, not able to study for tests or practise her
music, etc.....just because she can't remember to bring home the necessary
materials!!

And she is on meds already, which help in many areas, but apparently not this
one!

Nadine

Oh she sounds just like my boy..... I am in the beginning stages of
understanding and trying to fix things or teach him to deal with himself. But
one of the biggest things I learned was "attention seeker". He seeks attention
and if you don't give it to him he will see the attention in a negative way.
What I learned was to "work" him. Keep him busy, make him feel important, give
him a task. Also have your school do this too. For an example: Have her pass out
papers in class to each student, when at the grocery store have her get you food
off the shelves, have her push your baby's stroller, and on and on. This works
really well in our home, community and school.



As far as the "batting" my son does this to me too (not to strangers??? which I
don't understand). He will walk pass me and kind of swing at me like his arm is
a bat. He laughs thinking it is funny, even though every time I get onto him. He
also bites his baby brother and his cat and sometimes me or his dad. And again
he doesn't do this to others just his family. I was told he is having a hard
time controlling himself and his body parts. We let him chew gum and keep a
"goodie bag" (sensory toys) around at all times. It helps but sometimes I am
busy washing dishes or something and things get out of control.



Again I am in the beginning stages of understanding things but this is what I
have learned so far : )








To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
From: Heylin@...
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:10:39 +0000
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] ADHD/Sensory Seeker Issues





Hi All,

Have any of you struggled with these issues?
1) My daughter, age 5, full of life but with ADHD and SPD, is having trouble in
kindergarten with constantly touching kids around her (their hair, faces, etc..)
It really annoys them, especially the kids with their own sensory defensive
issues, and one of them scratched her face recently when she didn't stop. She
also touches and kind of bats at me and others a lot with her hands (not really
hitting, and not out of anger, but it is annoying!)

2) She really thrives on negative attention! So when teachers, mom, etc.. try to
set limits with this or other behavior, it really increases! She really gets
excited when she gets a rise out of others. She is a happy and good natured kid
but seems to crave the excitement of negative attention. What do you do with
that??!! Help!!

Thanks All, Linda






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have an 8 year old little girl, who is fun and loving most of the time. She
has add, she is not overly hyper or have serious behavior problems. But we are
having trouble finding the right meds. She is now on adderell, taking 10 mg
twice a day. She isnt eating much and gets annoyed very easy...with other kids,
teachers, etc. Now she is overly emotional too. I called her dr and he is
decreasing her meds, but I dont know if this is a good idea either. I feel like
she is becoming a guinnea pig for meds! She can do the work and gets good grades
but she wants to play more than work! Her dr doesnt seem to want to try other
meds now, I am not sure why. I cant seem to get a solid answer from her teachers
about how she is doing, I work at the school so I ask daily if her meds are
helping or not. Is it always gonna be this way? I am in the dark!

Hi All,

      Have any of you struggled with these issues?
1) My daughter, age 5, full of life but with ADHD and SPD, is having trouble in
kindergarten with constantly touching kids around her (their hair, faces, etc..)
It really annoys them, especially the kids with their own sensory defensive
issues, and one of them scratched her face recently when she didn't stop. She
also touches and kind of bats at me and others a lot with her hands (not really
hitting, and not out of anger, but it is annoying!)

2) She really thrives on negative attention!  So when teachers, mom, etc.. try
to set limits with this or other behavior, it really increases!  She really gets
excited when she gets a rise out of others.  She is a happy and good natured kid
but seems to crave the excitement of negative attention. What do you do with
that??!! Help!!

     Thanks All, Linda

First of all...let me correct something.  I didn't really mean that my parents
are getting irratated by my son.  Just that they are used to quiet and we all
know that ADHD kids find it hard to be quiet.  He also is having a problem with
respect and behavior problems.  He has an appt with a new counselor in a week to
hopefully help with this problem.  I know that all of this is alot for them to
take on.  And I really do appreciate everything they are doing for us.  There is
really no one that can "fill-in" for me, except for my parents.  They are there
for him when he gets off the bus if I am working at that time and they are there
for him to get him ready for bed for me til I get home at anywhere from 8-10 pm.
And how much can I really pay for in daycare when I'm making as much as I do? 
Now I will have another problem coming up soon.  The truck that I have will soon
be repossed because it was wrapped up in a bankruptcy that we had while married.
But, now that we are divorcing, he had the bankruptcy dismissed and I can't pay
for the truck. So that will then leave me without a vehicle while he has 4 paid
vehicles.  Things may turn around in my favor, but it will most likely take
time.  I have learned in this process, that the wheels of justice turn VERY,
VERY slowly!  Even for kids!

Thanks for all your support and help!

Wendy
--- In adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, MELISSA GRIEBEL <magriebel@...>
wrote:
>
>
> Could you find a home daycare situation where he might have more one-on-one
time with caregivers than a big center?  Or a co-operative situation with
another mom?
>
>
>
> Melissa
>
>
>
> To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
> From: barbjay@...
> Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:51:09 -0600
> Subject: Re: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice
>
>
>
>
>
> I am replying to this after reading Monica's reply and really . . . she is the
voice of experience, so I can not add anything to what she said, except we're
here for you. Anytime. Just let us know what specifically you have problems
with.
>
> You say that your parents get annoyed with your son . . . what specifically is
irritating? Maybe we can find a solution for you to that problem.
>
> I sense that your concern is that you will not be able to handle a daycare
problem when you're at work and you need to figure out who you can get help from
to intervene in situations like that?? About the only thoughts that occur to me
are:
>
> Are you close with anyone in a church group who could step in once in awhile
if there's a problem while you're at work?
> Are there any other family members who could step in once in awhile if there's
a problem while you're at work?
>
> I wish you luck!
>
> Barb
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: justridinmyappy
> To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Monday, November 09, 2009 9:27 PM
> Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice
>
> I am now the single parent of my ADHD 8-year old son. His father and I are
going through a divorce and we live 200 miles from each other, so he is not
going to be much help to me with our son. Until I get back on my feet, my son
and I are living with my parents. I am working a part-time job and I am
considering looking for another part-time job so that I can have more money for
us to get our own place. I am getting no monetary help fom his father. If I do
get another job, that will not leave much time for my son and I to have time
together. As it is, I feel very guilty for doing what I am doing now. My parents
are used to living by themselves and getting somewhat frustrated with their
grandson. My son has had a hard time with daycare centers in the past with his
ADHD. So my question to you all is...how do I handle working and the problems
that will arise at whatever daycare center I have him attend? I don't want to
short change my son by working and not having enough time to spend with him? We
can't live with my parents for the rest of our lives.
>
> Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
>
> Wendy
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

My son is 8 yo and takes Biphentin 20mg.  Both his teachers, our family and my
son noticed that his impulse issues were dramatically better one the meds.  My
son even clearly articulates the differences he feels as the medicine wears off
and how much harder it is for him to control himself.

   ----- Original Message -----
   Meds do not really work on impulse control . . . only to the extent that they
allow for concentration on using the tools to use for whatever the impulse
issues are.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

We use melatonin for William too. We started him on a 1/4 dropper at 5 yrs
old. We're up to 1.5mg (1/2 a 3mg tablet) and he's 9. Also if you give too
much it can cause bed wetting... That's how we knew he was getting too much.
I found the liquid at Wal-Mart but we get the tablets from GNC. The 1mg is
geared towards kids, I think... they're cherry flavored. lol At least up
here (in Canada) they are... Oh and they're sublingual.

 
Hugs...
Candice
-------Original Message-------

From: Witt, Monica A (Home Loan Services)
Date: 11/10/2009 2:56:11 PM
To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...

Melatonin is a herbal supplement that comes in liquid, dissolvable and
pill form. Melatonin is what you brain makes to tell your body it is
time to go to sleep. It is not a sleeping pill and it does not *keep*
you asleep, its main function is to get you over the hump to *initially*
fall asleep.

A lot of kids that are considered neurologically a-typical {kids with
ADHD, ADD, Autism, Bi-polar disorders, PPD-NOS, etc} usually do not
produce enough Melatonin in their brains. Hence, why they bounce off the
walls 24/7. They just do not have the *switch* that makes them want to
actually crawl in bed and get some zzz's even though the rest of their
body is screaming for it.

Many peds are starting to get on board with the *melatonin train*
despite the fact that it is just a herbal supplement. {and we all know
how much doctors and insurance companies love herbal non-profiting
things}

Kids under 5 should not get anymore than 1mg before bed time. The trick
though is to give it 20 minutes before you put them down, do the night
time ritual of teeth brushing, book, potty, etc and then put into bed.
If 20-30 minutes pass and your child is running around, it will slow
them down, but not be effective in getting them asleep. I only give
Aidin a half of a 1mg dose because she is so darn tiny, sometimes even
less than that {we use the liquid form}. The lower the dose the better,
because the higher doses can cause nightmares.

You can get the Melatonin at some health food stores, some GNC's and
even some pharmacies. Give special consideration to the label though as
it comes in 1mg, 3mg and 5mg doses. A 3mg dose will knock me out.

If you need more scientific information I can email that as well. It is
a bit long and very factually oriented, heck the article itself could
put you asleep..lol. But I did my homework thoroughly before giving it
to Aidin as I felt like I was *drugging my kid to get a few zzz's* which
TOTALLY was not the case at all. It has been studied that with added
Melatonin in a child's system {that is lacking it} for a certain amount
of time you can train their bodies to have a good sleep pattern in the
long run. I want to also mention that melatonin works better to assist
with the enforcement of circadian cycles and good sleep hygiene. This
article is a bit on the dry side, it covers a LOT of issues that our
population in particular deals with (sleep disorders in conjunction
other special needs) ... You may find it useful or not if you want it.

*Disclaimer: This information should not be taken over any medical
advice. Please contact your ped/doctor before administering anything to
your child as I am just a silly, sleep deprived, some what crazy mom
that just did some research and got the ok from her own ped. I am also
part of a preemie group and Shadow Syndrome Group that this comes highly
recommended from. Again all personal experience.

Thanks-
Monica ~ mommy to my little girls
~Aidin: 30 wkr, 4.5 years old ~ ADHD & SID
~Adelynn: 36 wkr, 1 year old







________________________________

   From: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of ~Kerri~
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 4:49 PM
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...




   I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed
at night and go to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a
rain machine, letting him watch a movie, putting on soothing music and
telling him to listen with his ears. We have tried taking toys away, and
giving in to what he wants.... we are lost.. thanks in advance. :)






--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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BANKRUPTCY DISCHARGE OF THIS DEBT, THIS E-MAIL IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT
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COLLATERAL PROPERTY.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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It is intended solely for the use of the designated recipient(s). If this
communication is received in error, please contact the sender and delete
this communication.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



------------------------------------

   Yahoo! Groups Links



.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melatonin is a herbal supplement that comes in liquid, dissolvable and
pill form. Melatonin is what you brain makes to tell your body it is
time to go to sleep. It is not a sleeping pill and it does not *keep*
you asleep, its main function is to get you over the hump to *initially*
fall asleep.

A lot of kids that are considered neurologically a-typical {kids with
ADHD, ADD, Autism, Bi-polar disorders, PPD-NOS, etc} usually do not
produce enough Melatonin in their brains. Hence, why they bounce off the
walls 24/7. They just do not have the *switch* that makes them want to
actually crawl in bed and get some zzz's even though the rest of their
body is screaming for it.

Many peds are starting to get on board with the *melatonin train*
despite the fact that it is just a herbal supplement. {and we all know
how much doctors and insurance companies love herbal non-profiting
things}

Kids under 5 should not get anymore than 1mg before bed time. The trick
though is to give it 20 minutes before you put them down, do the night
time ritual of teeth brushing, book, potty, etc and then put into bed.
If 20-30 minutes pass and your child is running around, it will slow
them down, but not be effective in getting them asleep. I only give
Aidin a half of a 1mg dose because she is so darn tiny, sometimes even
less than that {we use the liquid form}. The lower the dose the better,
because the higher doses can cause nightmares.

You can get the Melatonin at some health food stores, some GNC's and
even some pharmacies. Give special consideration to the label though as
it comes in 1mg, 3mg and 5mg doses. A 3mg dose will knock me out.

If you need more scientific information I can email that as well. It is
a bit long and very factually oriented, heck the article itself could
put you asleep..lol. But I did my homework thoroughly before giving it
to Aidin as I felt like I was *drugging my kid to get a few zzz's* which
TOTALLY was not the case at all. It has been studied that with added
Melatonin in a child's system {that is lacking it} for a certain amount
of time you can train their bodies to have a good sleep pattern in the
long run. I want to also mention that melatonin works better to assist
with the enforcement of circadian cycles and good sleep hygiene. This
article is a bit on the dry side, it covers a LOT of issues that our
population in particular deals with (sleep disorders in conjunction
other special needs) ... You may find it useful or not if you want it.

*Disclaimer: This information should not be taken over any medical
advice. Please contact your ped/doctor before administering anything to
your child as I am just a silly, sleep deprived, some what crazy mom
that just did some research and got the ok from her own ped. I am also
part of a preemie group and Shadow Syndrome Group that this comes highly
recommended from. Again all personal experience.

Thanks-
Monica ~ mommy to my little girls
~Aidin: 30 wkr, 4.5 years old ~ ADHD & SID
~Adelynn: 36 wkr, 1 year old







________________________________

	 From: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of ~Kerri~
	 Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 4:49 PM
	 To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
	 Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] I don't wanna go to bed...




	 I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed
at night and go to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a
rain machine, letting him watch a movie, putting on soothing music and
telling him to listen with his ears. We have tried taking toys away, and
giving in to what he wants.... we are lost.. thanks in advance. :)






--------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU SHOULD CONSIDER THIS E-MAIL AS COMING FROM A DEBT COLLECTOR AS WE SOMETIMES
ACT AS A DEBT COLLECTOR. ANY INFORMATION PROVIDED BY YOU WILL BE USED TO COLLECT
THIS DEBT. HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE IN BANKRUPTCY OR RECEIVED A BANKRUPTCY DISCHARGE
OF THIS DEBT, THIS E-MAIL IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT THE DEBT, BUT NOTICE OF
POSSIBLE ENFORCEMENT OF OUR LIEN AGAINST THE COLLATERAL PROPERTY.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
This communication is a confidential and proprietary business communication. It
is intended solely for the use of the designated recipient(s). If this
communication is received in error, please contact the sender and delete this
communication.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have tried just about everything to get my son to stay in bed at night and go
to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas? We have tried a rain machine, letting him
watch a movie, putting on soothing music and telling him to listen with his
ears. We have tried taking toys away, and giving in to what he wants.... we are
lost.. thanks in advance. :)

Oh I am sorry to hear about your DH's job.  It is scarey out there right now
(well it has been for a long time!)  DH just called this afternoon and said 94
employees were let go today . . . **SIGH** . . . just makes your heart stop!

I'll send you information about behavioral therapy that explains it far better
than I can.  I wish you luck.

Barb

Resources to learn about ADHD



DELIVERED FROM DISTRACTION by Drs. Ed Hallowell and John Ratey.  This book is
written by 2 psychiatrists who themselves have ADHD.  Their book offers many
compassionate, common sense suggestions for how to deal with ADHD on a daily
basis.  It is also on CD.



THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD by Dr. Ross Greene.  This book offers an insightful look
into how to deal with angry, inflexible children.  This is a very good resource.



1-2-3 MAGIC by Thomas Phelan.  This BOOKS TO LEARN ABOUT ADHD
resource offers positive parenting tips.



A Bird's-Eye View of Life With ADD and ADHD:  Advice From Young Survivors by
Chris Zeigler-Dendy and her son, Alex Zeigler. This is a teen survival guide
from the perspective of Chris's teen son, Alex who has ADHD.  BTW, she also has
a daughter with ADHD.  (Chris Zeigler-Dendy is a great author to get parenting
advice - she has 2 ADHD children.)

The Parent's Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder by Hawthorne Educational
Services


Pre-Referral Intervention Manual


Love and Logic - Dr. Jim Fay (a child psychologist, former school principal and
educational consultant) with Dr. Foster Cline, M.D. (child psychiatrist) as well
as Dr. Charles Fay (son of Dr. Jim Fay).  Their program offers information about
parenting through the developmental ages of our kids.  You can find lots of
information by googling Love and Logic.



Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! by Michael Bradley is a great book about teens and
behavior and why they do what they do. It talks about why they need parents so
much while they are teens and how developmentally they are programmed to do some
of the things they do. It also has practical ideas.



A good resource for parents whose kids don't "get" logical consequences is
something called beyond consequences, logic, and control:  
http://beyondconsequences.com/



I Hate You But First Can You Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall?  by Anthony E.
Wolf, Ph.D.    This is a good book for parents of a new teen.  It explores ways
to communicate with them and helps understand SOME of their behaviors.



I'm Not Mad at You, I Just Hate You  by Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D.and Michelle
Silver.  This book is a good guide for guiding your teen daughter through
adolescence (and surviving!)



Superparenting for ADD:  An Innovative Approach to Raising   Your Distracted
Child by Dr. Ed Hallowell (same author as Driven to Distraction, Delivered from
Distraction --  both with Dr. John Ratey) and Dr. Peter S. Jensen.



Howard Glasser:  Transforming the Difficult Child (Nurtured Heart Approach):  a
system for working with children with atypical behaviors.  (suggested by Deb
Fjeld)





GOOD SITES TO LEARN ABOUT DIFFERENT BEHAVIORAL THERAPIES


http://www.healthatoz.com (find the search box in the upper right corner of the
screen and enter the term you wish to learn about).

http://www.behavioraltech.com

http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscgt.htm

http://www.boystown.org/AboutUs/hotline/Pages/CrisisHotline.aspx

   ----- Original Message -----
   From: brittanypup
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 3:45 PM
   Subject: Re: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Morning Daycare Issues - HELP!



   Barb,

   Unfortunately we just got new insurance and are fighting with them to cover
his ADHD stuff (we have to gather proof that we have had insurance the last 10
months because they can't find it...) so right now all I have is his pdoc. We
had an appt with a child psych but had to cancel it when hubby lost his job. I
couldn't afford the payments (we have an HSA insurance so it's all out of pocket
until you hit the deductible).

   What is cognitive therapy?

   Marla

   --- In adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "barbjay" <barbjay@...> wrote:
   >
   > Is your son by chance receiving any cognitive behavioral therapy?





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Barb,

Unfortunately we just got new insurance and are fighting with them to cover his
ADHD stuff (we have to gather proof that we have had insurance the last 10
months because they can't find it...) so right now all I have is his pdoc. We
had an appt with a child psych but had to cancel it when hubby lost his job. I
couldn't afford the payments (we have an HSA insurance so it's all out of pocket
until you hit the deductible).

What is cognitive therapy?

Marla

--- In adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "barbjay" <barbjay@...> wrote:
>
> Is your son by chance receiving any cognitive behavioral therapy?

Is your son by chance receiving any cognitive behavioral therapy?  Meds do not
really work on impulse control . . . only to the extent that they allow for
concentration on using the tools to use for whatever the impulse issues are.  My
DS is in the same boat . . . HUGE impulse issues . . . and he's 17, so if you
can help your DS NOW with those issues, you'll be one step ahead when he's a
teen.  IMHO, I don't think those impulses to "just do or say something" ever
really go away . . . at least in my son's case, I can see that this is going to
be something he has to battle forever, sadly.  But, h3e's much better than he
was even 3 yrs. ago . . . mostly, so maturation does help.  One question . . .
is he on a regular bus??  Or a special ed bus?

I wish I had a suggestion for you in re:  the seatbelt, but I really don't know
how to solve that problem.

Good luck and let us know how your meeting goes.

barb


   ----- Original Message -----
   From: MJH
   To: ADHD ODD
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 2:13 PM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Morning Daycare Issues - HELP!



   My gosh. So we got the sugar issue under control. He did not have any candy
all weekend and he did not have any in his lunch yesterday and his day went much
better. I will see how today goes in school. He was NOT happy about not getting
any candy but I said that his body just can't process it and that it was not his
fault. Helped to explain it to him that way but he was still grumpy about it.

   Today I get a call from morning care that they now want to have a meeting with
me before my son can return to daycare tomorrow (he goes to daycare before and
after school). He's been having major impulse control issues in the morning
before his meds kick in. The problem is that I can't give them to him any
earlier or they wear off at night before we get homework done. I also can't give
him a booster dose in the afternoon because then he doesn't eat and he doesn't
sleep at night. I am in a total catch 22.

   In the last few weeks he has been having issues keeping his seat belt on it
the van ride to school in the morning. Why he does this is beyond me. He NEVER
EVER takes his seat belt off in our cars..NEVER. This started when his "friend"
started doing it and now he thinks it is funny. His friend is no longer there in
the morning (or so I have been told) so I had him sitting with his sister who
can usually keep him in line. Well, today he apparently unbuckled his seat belt
and stood up in the van on the way to school. He was sitting with his sister and
is usually in the very front of the bus. He also has issues with blurting out
stuff and doing typical boy impulse stuff..aka lifting up his shirt and saying
look at me! He is 7 for heaven's sake!

   I have told the daycare provider that he is on ADHD meds but they do not kick
in until an hour after he takes them and that they need to cut him some slack.
No, unbuckling on the bus, is not okay with me but some of the other stuff they
"bust" him on is just petty crap in my opinion. We don't have a lot of options
for daycare in our area. We have exactly 2. I am not fond of the other one
because the kids don't have a lot of room to play inside..the room is very
small. My kids went there for years and we moved them this year to the new
center because it was larger.

   I don't know what to do. I probably could stay home with them in the morning
and just get to work later but that is something I need to talk to my boss
about. My husband, as I have said in the past, is of no help. His idea of
dealing with it is to scream and yell and threaten to spank. None of that works
with my son. None of it. It only winds him up and makes it worse. I have a tone
that I take with him that will stop him in his tracks. Yes, he still has
tantrums with me (he's 7.5) but they don't last nearly as long as they do when
Dad raises his voice.

   I need something to help educate the daycare people before they throw him out.
I have to work...

   Thanks.
   Marla

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Is your son by chance receiving any cognitive behavioral therapy?  Meds do not
really work on impulse control . . . only to the extent that they allow for
concentration on using the tools to use for whatever the impulse issues are.  My
DS is in the same boat . . . HUGE impulse issues . . . and he's 17, so if you
can help your DS NOW with those issues, you'll be one step ahead when he's a
teen.  IMHO, I don't think those impulses to "just do or say something" ever
really go away . . . at least in my son's case, I can see that this is going to
be something he has to battle forever, sadly.  But, h3e's much better than he
was even 3 yrs. ago . . . mostly, so maturation does help.  One question . . .
is he on a regular bus??  Or a special ed bus?

I wish I had a suggestion for you in re:  the seatbelt, but I really don't know
how to solve that problem.

Good luck and let us know how your meeting goes.

barb


   ----- Original Message -----
   From: MJH
   To: ADHD ODD
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 2:13 PM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Morning Daycare Issues - HELP!



   My gosh. So we got the sugar issue under control. He did not have any candy
all weekend and he did not have any in his lunch yesterday and his day went much
better. I will see how today goes in school. He was NOT happy about not getting
any candy but I said that his body just can't process it and that it was not his
fault. Helped to explain it to him that way but he was still grumpy about it.

   Today I get a call from morning care that they now want to have a meeting with
me before my son can return to daycare tomorrow (he goes to daycare before and
after school). He's been having major impulse control issues in the morning
before his meds kick in. The problem is that I can't give them to him any
earlier or they wear off at night before we get homework done. I also can't give
him a booster dose in the afternoon because then he doesn't eat and he doesn't
sleep at night. I am in a total catch 22.

   In the last few weeks he has been having issues keeping his seat belt on it
the van ride to school in the morning. Why he does this is beyond me. He NEVER
EVER takes his seat belt off in our cars..NEVER. This started when his "friend"
started doing it and now he thinks it is funny. His friend is no longer there in
the morning (or so I have been told) so I had him sitting with his sister who
can usually keep him in line. Well, today he apparently unbuckled his seat belt
and stood up in the van on the way to school. He was sitting with his sister and
is usually in the very front of the bus. He also has issues with blurting out
stuff and doing typical boy impulse stuff..aka lifting up his shirt and saying
look at me! He is 7 for heaven's sake!

   I have told the daycare provider that he is on ADHD meds but they do not kick
in until an hour after he takes them and that they need to cut him some slack.
No, unbuckling on the bus, is not okay with me but some of the other stuff they
"bust" him on is just petty crap in my opinion. We don't have a lot of options
for daycare in our area. We have exactly 2. I am not fond of the other one
because the kids don't have a lot of room to play inside..the room is very
small. My kids went there for years and we moved them this year to the new
center because it was larger.

   I don't know what to do. I probably could stay home with them in the morning
and just get to work later but that is something I need to talk to my boss
about. My husband, as I have said in the past, is of no help. His idea of
dealing with it is to scream and yell and threaten to spank. None of that works
with my son. None of it. It only winds him up and makes it worse. I have a tone
that I take with him that will stop him in his tracks. Yes, he still has
tantrums with me (he's 7.5) but they don't last nearly as long as they do when
Dad raises his voice.

   I need something to help educate the daycare people before they throw him out.
I have to work...

   Thanks.
   Marla

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Is your son by chance receiving any cognitive behavioral therapy?  Meds do not
really work on impulse control . . . only to the extent that they allow for
concentration on using the tools to use for whatever the impulse issues are.  My
DS is in the same boat . . . HUGE impulse issues . . . and he's 17, so if you
can help your DS NOW with those issues, you'll be one step ahead when he's a
teen.  IMHO, I don't think those impulses to "just do or say something" ever
really go away . . . at least in my son's case, I can see that this is going to
be something he has to battle forever, sadly.  But, h3e's much better than he
was even 3 yrs. ago . . . mostly, so maturation does help.


   ----- Original Message -----
   From: MJH
   To: ADHD ODD
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 2:13 PM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Morning Daycare Issues - HELP!



   My gosh. So we got the sugar issue under control. He did not have any candy
all weekend and he did not have any in his lunch yesterday and his day went much
better. I will see how today goes in school. He was NOT happy about not getting
any candy but I said that his body just can't process it and that it was not his
fault. Helped to explain it to him that way but he was still grumpy about it.

   Today I get a call from morning care that they now want to have a meeting with
me before my son can return to daycare tomorrow (he goes to daycare before and
after school). He's been having major impulse control issues in the morning
before his meds kick in. The problem is that I can't give them to him any
earlier or they wear off at night before we get homework done. I also can't give
him a booster dose in the afternoon because then he doesn't eat and he doesn't
sleep at night. I am in a total catch 22.

   In the last few weeks he has been having issues keeping his seat belt on it
the van ride to school in the morning. Why he does this is beyond me. He NEVER
EVER takes his seat belt off in our cars..NEVER. This started when his "friend"
started doing it and now he thinks it is funny. His friend is no longer there in
the morning (or so I have been told) so I had him sitting with his sister who
can usually keep him in line. Well, today he apparently unbuckled his seat belt
and stood up in the van on the way to school. He was sitting with his sister and
is usually in the very front of the bus. He also has issues with blurting out
stuff and doing typical boy impulse stuff..aka lifting up his shirt and saying
look at me! He is 7 for heaven's sake!

   I have told the daycare provider that he is on ADHD meds but they do not kick
in until an hour after he takes them and that they need to cut him some slack.
No, unbuckling on the bus, is not okay with me but some of the other stuff they
"bust" him on is just petty crap in my opinion. We don't have a lot of options
for daycare in our area. We have exactly 2. I am not fond of the other one
because the kids don't have a lot of room to play inside..the room is very
small. My kids went there for years and we moved them this year to the new
center because it was larger.

   I don't know what to do. I probably could stay home with them in the morning
and just get to work later but that is something I need to talk to my boss
about. My husband, as I have said in the past, is of no help. His idea of
dealing with it is to scream and yell and threaten to spank. None of that works
with my son. None of it. It only winds him up and makes it worse. I have a tone
that I take with him that will stop him in his tracks. Yes, he still has
tantrums with me (he's 7.5) but they don't last nearly as long as they do when
Dad raises his voice.

   I need something to help educate the daycare people before they throw him out.
I have to work...

   Thanks.
   Marla

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

My gosh. So we got the sugar issue under control. He did not have any candy all
weekend and he did not have any in his lunch yesterday and his day went much
better. I will see how today goes in school. He was NOT happy about not getting
any candy but I said that his body just can't process it and that it was not his
fault. Helped to explain it to him that way but he was still grumpy about it.

Today I get a call from morning care that they now want to have a meeting with
me before my son can return to daycare tomorrow (he goes to daycare before and
after school). He's been having major impulse control issues in the morning
before his meds kick in. The problem is that I can't give them to him any
earlier or they wear off at night before we get homework done. I also can't give
him a booster dose in the afternoon because then he doesn't eat and he doesn't
sleep at night. I am in a total catch 22.

In the last few weeks he has been having issues keeping his seat belt on it the
van ride to school in the morning. Why he does this is beyond me. He NEVER EVER
takes his seat belt off in our cars..NEVER. This started when his "friend"
started doing it and now he thinks it is funny. His friend is no longer there in
the morning (or so I have been told) so I had him sitting with his sister who
can usually keep him in line. Well, today he apparently unbuckled his seat belt
and stood up in the van on the way to school. He was sitting with his sister and
is usually in the very front of the bus. He also has issues with blurting out
stuff and doing typical boy impulse stuff..aka lifting up his shirt and saying
look at me! He is 7 for heaven's sake!

I have told the daycare provider that he is on ADHD meds but they do not kick in
until an hour after he takes them and that they need to cut him some slack. No,
unbuckling on the bus, is not okay with me but some of the other stuff they
"bust" him on is just petty crap in my opinion. We don't have a lot of options
for daycare in our area. We have exactly 2. I am not fond of the other one
because the kids don't have a lot of room to play inside..the room is very
small. My kids went there for years and we moved them this year to the new
center because it was larger.

I don't know what to do. I probably could stay home with them in the morning and
just get to work later but that is something I need to talk to my boss about. My
husband, as I have said in the past, is of no help. His idea of dealing with it
is to scream and yell and threaten to spank. None of that works with my son.
None of it. It only winds him up and makes it worse. I have a tone that I take
with him that will stop him in his tracks. Yes, he still has tantrums with me
(he's 7.5) but they don't last nearly as long as they do when Dad raises his
voice.

I need something to help educate the daycare people before they throw him out. I
have to work...

Thanks.
Marla





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deb:

Thank you for adding those resources!  I have not researched Howard Glassers
TRANSFORMING THE DIFFICULT CHILD system, but have heard some good things about
it.

And you are absolutely right, a child's environment DOES need to be modified to
help him/her succeed.

Barb
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Deborah Fjeld
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 8:08 AM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] re:new to ADHD



   Barb posted some great references and I'd like to add one.  Transforming the
Difficult Child (Nurtured Heart Approach) by Howard Glasser is a loving model
for working with kids with atypical behaviors.

   I also think that "Modifying the Environment" should be added into the
treatment plan.  Just as when you are on a diet, you avoid having sweets in the
house, you should also modify a child's environment to help them be more
successful.  For instance, if a child just can't pull himself away from the TV,
you can set firm rules on times the TV can be on, or even invest in the timer
programs to help your child regulate their own usage.

   Have a great week!
   Deb Fjeld
   www.toolboxparent.com
   www.toolboxparent.ning.com social community site

   __________________________________________________
   Do You Yahoo!?
   Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
   http://mail.yahoo.com

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Could you find a home daycare situation where he might have more one-on-one time
with caregivers than a big center?  Or a co-operative situation with another
mom?



Melissa



To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
From: barbjay@...
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:51:09 -0600
Subject: Re: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice





I am replying to this after reading Monica's reply and really . . . she is the
voice of experience, so I can not add anything to what she said, except we're
here for you. Anytime. Just let us know what specifically you have problems
with.

You say that your parents get annoyed with your son . . . what specifically is
irritating? Maybe we can find a solution for you to that problem.

I sense that your concern is that you will not be able to handle a daycare
problem when you're at work and you need to figure out who you can get help from
to intervene in situations like that?? About the only thoughts that occur to me
are:

Are you close with anyone in a church group who could step in once in awhile if
there's a problem while you're at work?
Are there any other family members who could step in once in awhile if there's a
problem while you're at work?

I wish you luck!

Barb
----- Original Message -----
From: justridinmyappy
To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, November 09, 2009 9:27 PM
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice

I am now the single parent of my ADHD 8-year old son. His father and I are going
through a divorce and we live 200 miles from each other, so he is not going to
be much help to me with our son. Until I get back on my feet, my son and I are
living with my parents. I am working a part-time job and I am considering
looking for another part-time job so that I can have more money for us to get
our own place. I am getting no monetary help fom his father. If I do get another
job, that will not leave much time for my son and I to have time together. As it
is, I feel very guilty for doing what I am doing now. My parents are used to
living by themselves and getting somewhat frustrated with their grandson. My son
has had a hard time with daycare centers in the past with his ADHD. So my
question to you all is...how do I handle working and the problems that will
arise at whatever daycare center I have him attend? I don't want to short change
my son by working and not having enough time to spend with him? We can't live
with my parents for the rest of our lives.

Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Wendy

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I am replying to this after reading Monica's reply and really  . . . she is the
voice of experience, so I can not add anything to what she said, except we're
here for you.  Anytime.  Just let us know what specifically you have problems
with.

You say that your parents get annoyed with your son . . . what specifically is
irritating?  Maybe we can find a solution for you to that problem.

I sense that your concern is that you will not be able to handle a daycare
problem when you're at work and you need to figure out who you can get help from
to intervene in situations like that??  About the only thoughts that occur to me
are:

Are you close with anyone in a church group who could step in once in awhile if
there's a problem while you're at work?
Are there any other family members who could step in once in awhile if there's a
problem while you're at work?

I wish you luck!

Barb
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: justridinmyappy
   To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Monday, November 09, 2009 9:27 PM
   Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] New Single Mom Needs Advice



   I am now the single parent of my ADHD 8-year old son. His father and I are
going through a divorce and we live 200 miles from each other, so he is not
going to be much help to me with our son. Until I get back on my feet, my son
and I are living with my parents. I am working a part-time job and I am
considering looking for another part-time job so that I can have more money for
us to get our own place. I am getting no monetary help fom his father. If I do
get another job, that will not leave much time for my son and I to have time
together. As it is, I feel very guilty for doing what I am doing now. My parents
are used to living by themselves and getting somewhat frustrated with their
grandson. My son has had a hard time with daycare centers in the past with his
ADHD. So my question to you all is...how do I handle working and the problems
that will arise at whatever daycare center I have him attend? I don't want to
short change my son by working and not having enough time to spend with him? We
can't live with my parents for the rest of our lives.

   Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

   Wendy





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sometimes, when children get on the medication, it slows them down and they are
more responsive to their tired cues.


--- In adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "Angel" <lizzey640242000@...>
wrote:
>
>  My son finnally got his prescription cover and all yesterday. He is on the
lowest dosage of Adderall the doc could prescribe. My question is did anyone
else kid gett really sleepy on Aderrall. He only takes one pill in the morings
before school and his has helped his attudie alot already just these two days.
But yesterday he fall asleep about a half hour before school gets
out(kindergarden) Then tonight he was alseep by 6pm. He just laid down on my lap
tonight and within sec he was asleep. Or could this just be a reaction to
starting meds period. THis is the frist time hes ever been on any type of meds
for any mental conditions. Im just worried about him. Hes not the peppy free
sprited kid he used to be. Any info would help.
>

Barb posted some great references and I'd like to add one.  Transforming the
Difficult Child (Nurtured Heart Approach) by Howard Glasser is a loving model
for working with kids with atypical behaviors.

I also think that "Modifying the Environment" should be added into the treatment
plan.  Just as when you are on a diet, you avoid having sweets in the house, you
should also modify a child's environment to help them be more successful.  For
instance, if a child just can't pull himself away from the TV, you can set firm
rules on times the TV can be on, or even invest in the timer programs to help
your child regulate their own usage.

Have a great week!
Deb Fjeld
www.toolboxparent.com
www.toolboxparent.ning.com social community site

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]