Kirk:

Thanks!!! Yes, I can definitely see that he needs to be involved (as does his
sister) in picking out the house we move to and all the issues associated with
settling into a new house (like how he wants his room arranged, etc.). That is
a piece of cake.

And, we have already found the location of the high school in one of the towns
we are considering and DS has been assured, wherever we move, whatever High
School he ends up at, he will be able to participate in gymnastics. So, I think
that was reassuring for him.The idea of visiting the High School before starting
is a great idea and I am going to do that when we get things rolling.

The only really difficult thing is the girlfriend. There really are no
reassuring words he will listen to in that area, but I understand his
perspective. That's about all I can tell him with certainty!

Thanks again.
Barb
Mom to 2 in IL
----- Original Message -----
From: Celebrate!ADHD
To: adhdparentssupportgroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 31, 2007 8:04 PM
Subject: [ADHD Parents Support Group] Re: meltdown day


Hi Barb,

This is definitely a tough one, but your calm words of advice to your
son were perfect.

I would try the following:

Definitely get your son involved in the entire process. He needs to
feel some measure of control. Since he can't stop this move, at least
give him some control and ownership over an aspect or two.

Plan a special trip to Milwaukee. Can he help pick out the new house
you choose? Can he choose new furniture for his room, help plan out a
special game room?

He needs to have something to look forward in Milwaukee. A new, really
cool game room. A job at a local place he'd like to work.
Participation on a sports team he wants to join. Guitar lessons he's
always wanted to take. Something, anything related to using his gifts,
talents and passions.

Tickets to see the new local sports teams play (unless he hates the
Brewers, Bucks and Packers).

If he is changing schools, I'd see if he can go visit ahead of time.
Maybe hang out in the new neighborhood ahead of time to see if he can
find new friends, etc.

You will think of more specific things for your son...just think
ownership and control.

You're doing great, though, Barb.

Kirk Martin
Founder, Celebrate!ADHD
www.celebrate-ADHD.com
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