Needle work



http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,1015468,00.html


Using acupuncture instead of anaesthetic makes a lasting impression
on Barefoot Doctor

Sunday August 10, 2003
The Observer

Many years ago, I went through a phase of being called upon to
assist various private surgeons around the UK by administering
acupuncture anaesthesia during surgery to patients who were known to
be allergic to anaesthetic. I found these invariably to be highly
sweaty episodes, partly because it was so tense; partly because, in
those days, anaesthesia with acupuncture being relatively new to the
West, the surgeons insisted on having medical students observing on
account of the novelty value; partly because it's very hot under
those lights; and partly because I'm a pacifist by nature and blood,
gore and gurgling innards are not my bag. Indeed, during one
particular episode involving a hysterectomy, what with the lower
abdomen being notoriously difficult to numb, so much sweat was
pouring down over my eyes and on to my surgical mask that I could
hardly see.
Although, traditionally, a different acupuncturist would have been
assigned to each of the six to 12 needles being used, each of whom
would assiduously twiddle their needle throughout the operation, by
the early 80s it was common practice to attach wires by crocodile
clip to each needle, the other end of which was plugged into an
electronic stimulator, sending a constant charge through the needle.

Halfway through the hysterectomy operation, as the knife reached her
spine, the patient started groaning. Through cascades of sweat, I
was able to find my way to the knobs and increase the voltage just
enough to keep the level of groaning to a bearable minimum, but then
it all got too much and they pumped her full of chemicals.

Of course, I didn't take this as a personal failure - I'd warned
everyone involved that there was only a 50/50 chance of it working -
I was just relieved she came round from the anaesthetic in one
piece. Nonetheless, it left me with a phobia of electronic gadgets
that had anything to do with acupuncture.

So, when one day a large box arrived at my house out of the blue,
courtesy of the Chinese government, containing something called a
Biolamp, which claimed to be able to administer acupuncture without
needles, it was not without great trepidation that I gave it a go.

I get an ache in the sacral area of my lower back from sitting too
long at the computer, so I aimed the lamp at my sacrum for 20
minutes. Both my phobic tendencies and innate scepticism quickly
dispersed when I got up and found that every last trace of ache had
gone. I am now slightly addicted to my Biolamp.

It was invented by Dr Gou Wenbin, who was investigating an old
ceramics factory where an interesting phenomenon was occurring.
Though the workers spent all day standing, there was never a single
incidence of backache or arthritis. It turned out that there was a
strong and unique spectrum in the kiln area, which Gou traced to a
black clay deposit. The clay was found to contain 33 trace elements,
all apparently essential to human life.

So they invented this dinky lamp that now stands in the corner of my
office. It throws a concentrated stream of intense heat through a
plate of that same black clay, thus activating a band of
electromagnetic waves in the infrared range. These waves find
resonance within the body, promoting healing and pain relief. If
you're interested, check out their website: www.biolamps.com.

Meanwhile, an instant, lampless way to promote healing and pain
relief is to soak in a hot bath of Epsom salts, which draw out
impurities, then relax and briskly rub with your palm over affected
areas for about 30 seconds. If doing this on the sacrum, use the
knuckles.

I have just reread the beginning of this piece to see if I could
come up with a pay-off line to make you chortle, but it triggered
the visceral memory of that awful groaning and the knife cutting
away, and the sweat is pouring over my eyes in such profusion that I
can't see the screen. So that's me out - quick, get me a
hypnotherapist...