I need it ...encouragment that is ... I just got out of a 2 1/2 year
relationship ...on new years he drug me around the house by my
hair...he pushed me into doors, he pushed me into the window while
holding my son...I finally got a hold of the police and shipped his ass
back to jersey.... I talked to him today after texting him all
night..I'm so pissed and he's in denial..he was drunk and all he can
say as that i'm being dramatic and what i said happened didn't
happened ....why do i still love him ...why do i still care...it made
it a little easier after he denied everything...because all i could say
to my self was damn ...you really are f*&(() up ...i'm trying to hold
it together for my son...but i'm constantly breaking down...i guess
thats alright since it just happened on the first..this wasn't the
first time ..but the first time it wasn't to this degree..i should of
left him them ....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so damn mad..

hi,every body
               sandy for me i feel that you are an experienced wise kind
friend,and every time i read your comments i feel looking forward to knowing 
you so we can be friends.
   And i can tell that every body has his own way in giving advises,and
supporting others,we are here like a family,every one can supply what the others
lack.
   so,you sandy give supports in your way,i give it in mine,and every body do it
in his way,these variation will be very helpful,so every body can find the way
he likes to be supported in.
   Barb.E we are all here cause every one of us either passed through hard
times,and felt someday that he needs help,any kind of help and support in any
way,even from any person,just in need in help,when you are weak,helpless you do
not care for the way others may help you in,you need help that is what you
really feel.
   or  feels  that he can help others,has the will to do that,and this is a great
precious thing,to feel sympathy to others,these mean that you are good kind man.
   so you should not accuse sandy of being hard so she couldnot make friends.
   cause you cannot judge any one you didnot know well,plus this is your
opinion,that doesnot mean that it is ours too.
   Barb.E no body is perfect,every one of us gives the support in his way,that
might not be liked by another one,that is why we are a group.
   and being in one group,like this group means that we are good kind
persons,you,sandy, every other member,me.cause we all mind each other's
problemes and feelings.we are here to help each other.
   you may not like someone's way in giving help and me too,but that doesnot mean
that every body feels like us too.
   i can tell that every time i read comment from any one in this group i learn
something new,different ways,different thoughts.But still i feel that you all
are kind helpful persons.even i didnot like some one's way in doing that.i still
appreciate that he tried to help,
                                                      snowy

sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   Well, if making friends means lying to someone, no i will never be quilty of
that one. I am a realist, all this wishy washy stuff is ridiculous. To be
supportive is fine, helping them keep on the right coarse and giving them the
truth, to me is not wrong.No need for a low blow in your message to me. If i was
not compassionate and caring, i sure as hell would not be in the medical
profession, where all i see is hurt, death and impossible dreams never to be
filled. Please do not make judgements because i called it like it is.They asked
for help, i see the clear road and have been through more crap in my life. I
just do not choose to sit around and whine about it. I picked myself up and
moved on.I have been raped, i have been through divorce, i have raised kids
myself, i have had no money i have lived in a car for months, so there is not a
whole hell of a lot i have not done. I was out of school in the 8th grade yet i
went on to get two degrees.I mean please, if i could survive, so can
someone else. It is a weak mind that lets any human beat them down. I just
choose never, ever to be beaten. Please know the person before you form the
opionion that i am so heartless. It could not be further from the truth. Oh...
by the way, have a nice day. Sandy

"Barb E." <hollysmomsc@...> wrote:  Sandy...
I thought this was a support group......and you wonder why you are
having trouble making friends...???....
no offense...just ......wow..show a bit of care ..





--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin







<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work
with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
>
> don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and
cause of men's problems.
>
> So here's the coles notes on this one situation
>
> Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
> (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
> her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
> on life etc etc.
>
> There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
passed.
> One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
> out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
> said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
So
> I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
and
> stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
> too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
>
> I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
in
> general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought
up
> this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
had
> this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit
of
> news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> accordingly"
>
> What say all of youse :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>









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please keep me intoughb with yiurb

eileen <sunshinenfny@...> wrote:  my neighbor is a dispatcher from home
with a tow truck company.. I do day care at mine.

Luna Weepingwillow <lunaweepingwillow@...> wrote:  A friend of mine works
from home as a medical transcptionist and does real well at it.  I am taking
classes for this.  I would even try the envelope stuffing.  Please let me know
if you find something interesting.  I think like you that some of them have to
be legit.  Hugs Luna

dancryc@... wrote:  I just quit my job and i was wondering. I see
advertisements all the time
for work from home jobs. I know most are scams but some have to be real dont
they? I was just wondering if anybody knew of a legit Job that you would be able
to do from home.
Thank you.
Dani


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May Your Unfolding Give You Joy And Comfort!
                                Luna




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                                Luna



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ok si
  first of all how old are you and what kind of relationship are you
in. I can tell what kind of relationship you have been in in the
past. Let me tell you from where i'm coming from i have had 3
relationship's in the past and we'll just say i found my self used
by them all for different reason's my question about men was not to
make you feel beat up on. not my intetion at all.I am sure there are
men out there that hear every thing we women say. How ever in my 32
yr's i have found just the bad one's we will use my second xbf as an
example i was in a relation ship with him for 2 year's and now i
regret those wasted year's on the other hand it tought me
something's about myself. And yes i needed to learn them.His name
was alex he was the biggest jerk. In 2 year's all he ever gave me
was a cup of coffie ,1letter bottle of soda and alot of heart ack
and tears. First of all he was the one who said he would call me and
never would never would do anything he said example this is a big
one and i'm sure the girl's will love this one. it was the middle of
the second year and my x called and said  he had his vacation
comeing up the next week and he said he would come and vist on that
thursday he would call on wensday .Knowing him as well as i did it
really shouldn't have surprised me what happened wed came and whent
no call thursday came i waited for the call and waited for him to
come i called no answer waited some more called later no answer
waited some more and called again nothing. Thursday went friday went
sat went sun,mon,tue,wed,thur,fri,sat,sun all went no call no answer
no reason
Did the man die no he just changed his mind at the last minute and
went to ac with his friends. he finaly called the next mon afternoon
when i called him on it he screamed at me like i was the guilty
party for being worried about him and said oh i just changed my mind
and wanted to do something more fun. My x would say call me and when
i would call him he would scream and say why are you calling me. My
reaction to this all i left him and just couldn't find the time to
tell him. i don't answer his call's he came to see me at work a
couple week's ago i wouldn't even ignolage him being there. Let me
just clarefie my hubby to be is a good guy and want's to do evey
thing in his power to make and keep me happy. It's part of the
reason i'm marreing him and not any of my ex's. There is no dought
in my mind he will be a good hubby but like all men he will need my
guidence to show him what a wife want's of a hubby. But he is very
willing and in less then 2 week's when i'm mrs khan i will use the
first and most importen month of the marrage to show him how it
work's in my world .
          nite all and be nice to si after all he's just a man and we
must teach and nerture them.
        kat



- -- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, Si tara <fietal@y...>
wrote:
>
> Oké ladies especially snowy,
>
>   have you ever tought about it: when you pint a vinger to someone
there are 4 of them pionting at you??
>   There could be men over there acting and behaving like you
lady's says. Not all of them. maybe you had the bad luck to fall in
love like one of those.
>   Still you have think about why the men get the selective hearing.
>   f.e.
>   a man goes to work and before he leaves, the woman says, call
me.... so he calls from the work, they a little and they hang up she
says again call me.... so he calle again after a while. In the mean
time some happens that makes tyhe woman get aggitated. Who when the
man calls again... the woman goes like... are you checking on me..
calling me the whole day.... So the mans says you told me to call..
and he gets the bla, bla bla....When the man is at home after work,
no words about her reaction because they just think bad
timing ...The next morning the man goes to work and she says again
call me.... The man hears it and thinks about the thing happened
yesterday and walked out the door without saying yes or no.. and she
goes again like make sure you call me.. the man noticed she is still
aggitated, so waits calling her..so she calls him... why didn't you
call..... he goes you didn't like much yesterday.. and the fights
begins...If he comes home she tells him he doesn't care anymore
>  about her that's why he didn't call.. the get into a guarel and
the poor man can sleep on the cauch`because she goes no sex tonight
because she thinks the only he can her is sex tonight...... So i put
it a little black and white.. sometimes woman makes man behave like
that.. hearing only what they wanna hear....
>
>   But you girls are right there are man who are selective in
hearing and so do women to... it's not only the men...
>
>   So before you all get over me again..
>   All the best wishes for 2006, and hope you all have a good
listening man...
>
>   I love this chatgroup, you can learn from each other
>   and don't be so stubbern not all man are like that....
>
>   Bye ladies
>
>
> snowy star <snowy_star_211@y...> wrote:
>   hi,
>           Yb,most marriages do work this way,for a year may be two
in best conditions then the men nature takes the upper
hand.selective hearing,ignoring what they think to be no thing
important.it is something in their physiological functions.
>   no matter how strong their wives try to change that,make them
sharing every idea they have,men are like this,so women got nothing
after that but being depressed and disappointed,but after they look
around seeing that it is the rule ,all husbands are doing the same
things,no difference between them at all.those wives surrender to
the present fact.
>   so SITARA we are  sandy,snowy and kate are having the same
opinion,which is based on previous experiences or good careful
observations.
>   MEN ARE LIKE THAT, THEY DO HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING.
>
> sandy martin <butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>   Most marriages do work this way, but men do have selective
hearing haha...Sandy
>
> Si tara <fietal@y...> wrote:  hello everybody,
>
>   I just joined the group a few days ago.
>   I find it very intresting one because here you can see the
diiferent perspective people has about something specific.
>   So, about man , who hears only what he wants to here. i think it
doesn't goes for evry man and in the other hand it depends on the
partner or the subject.
>   it is scientificaly profed, they say that man can only do 1
thing at the time. It is kind of generalising all the man.
>
>   Me for instance i can do one thing and think about the somthing
else without losing control on what i\m working on f.e.
>   Even woman can be selective i hearing or doing things.
>   I would not like others to plan  or do things for all the time,
because it get's you lazy in the mind, because thinking is done by
the other or planned for you.
>   Most of the thinks that once the have a wive, she will take care
of everything, because it has been that way for ages. So, Kate, once
your married don't try to arrange every thing for your man, you
gonna make him lazy regarding using the brain. Don't let him get the
idea that you will do it so he doesn't have to it byhimself.
>   Discuss it, do things together, decide together about important
things and don't satisfy with "you can do it better, you do it".
then you gonna have the situation like selctive hearing etc. etc.
it goes both ways i think, becuase women can be very selctive to you
know. I wish you all the best in your marriage.
>   Try as much as possible to do things together especially when
you have to decide about important things regarding both of you.So
when it goes wrong blame yourselfs, because you can't say "i told
you so" On the hand, women, don't get every thing arranged for you
to. Because you goona end up thinking and hearing selective to like
the man. As they at home it the womans world and outside the mans
world, why not mixed that two and treath the man and the woman with
equal rights.
>   Good luck to you all.
>
>
> snowy star <snowy_star_211@y...> wrote:
>   hi,
>   first congratulation to you kate,i wish you a happy marriage.
>   secondly merry christmas for you all.
>   oke sandy you are totally right,men hear only what they want to
hear,what concern their own benfits.most of them are like that.i
think it is some thing in their brains,alwayes they select what they
hear and concern about.
>   it is seldome to find a man who take care of the detailes,and
minors.they often concern about major things,things related to
them!!!!!!!!
>   so,it is no use.men will never change.
>
>
> sandy martin <butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>   umm.... are you asking us if men ever listen? Ok here goes. They
have selective hearing. Mostly because men can not multitask. It is
impossible for most of them.Since your getting married, here are a
few lesons.Men hear these things, Sex tonight, football or any type
of sports, and business.Outside of this get ready to repeat
yourselve ten times, leave notes, call his office, tell his
secretary etc. I wish you well in your up coming wedding.Sandy
>
> katpurpel <katpurpel@y...> wrote:  Ok now just about everyone here
know's i'm getting married right i
> told my boss 6 month's ago i was leaving my job. Asked him for
time
> off from work to go out of the counrty for the wedding i even
whent
> so far as to leave him a note with my flight info on in for him to
> do the scedule's around it was in his office since i got my
> ticket's. He never bothered to read it. I told him 6 month's ago i
> was getting married and not staying at this job after that. Now
that
> the time has come for me to do what i planed to do for month's is
he
> all surprised and oh you didn't tell me this before. I'm sorry but
> how is it my fault he only hear's what he want's to. Are all men
> like this or is it just me. Now i know it's not just him it
happend
> with my father once to whent car shopping bought a car and at the
> time when we looked at it oh ya the car is good  it's clean  run's
> good. then when thing's started to go bad on the car oh i told you
> not to buy that car.... EXCUSE ME can anyone tell me what are men
> thinking? I need to understand before the wedding Oh and by the
way
> if you were wondering the wedding is on the 18th of jan and we are
> very happy and impatiently waiting
>
>         kat
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> Well, if making friends means lying to someone, no i will never be
quilty of that one. I am a realist, all this wishy washy stuff is
ridiculous. To be supportive is fine, helping them keep on the right
coarse and giving them the truth, to me is not wrong.No need for a
low blow in your message to me. If i was not compassionate and
caring, i sure as hell would not be in the medical profession, where
all i see is hurt, death and impossible dreams never to be filled.
Please do not make judgements because i called it like it is.They
asked for help, i see the clear road and have been through more crap
in my life. I just do not choose to sit around and whine about it. I
picked myself up and moved on.I have been raped, i have been through
divorce, i have raised kids myself, i have had no money i have lived
in a car for months, so there is not a whole hell of a lot i have not
done. I was out of school in the 8th grade yet i went on to get two
degrees.I mean please, if i could survive, so can
>  someone else. It is a weak mind that lets any human beat them
down. I just choose never, ever to be beaten. Please know the person
before you form the opionion that i am so heartless. It could not be
further from the truth. Oh... by the way, have a nice day. Sandy
>
> "Barb E." <hollysmomsc@y...> wrote:  Sandy...
> I thought this was a support group......and you wonder why you are
> having trouble making friends...???....
> no offense...just ......wow..show a bit of care ..
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> <butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
> >
> > My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you
work
> with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
> professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
> was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
> was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
> >
> > don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to
and
> cause of men's problems.
> >
> > So here's the coles notes on this one situation
> >
> > Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> > each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great
talks
> > (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd
help
> > her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her
advice
> > on life etc etc.
> >
> > There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
> passed.
> > One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time
hang
> > out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> > it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like
I
> > said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
> So
> > I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
> and
> > stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to
get
> > too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> > seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
> >
> > I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
> in
> > general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> > university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> > under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating
brought
> up
> > this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
> had
> > this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new
bit
> of
> > news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> > well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> > accordingly"
> >
> > What say all of youse :)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >   SPONSORED LINKS
> >         Article health wellness   Center for health and
wellness
> Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health
wellness
> product   Health and wellness job
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >
> >     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
> >
> >     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Sandy
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Photos
>  Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events,
holidays, whatever.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Ok... U have a nice day also .



--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> Well, if making friends means lying to someone, no i will never be
quilty of that one. I am a realist, all this wishy washy stuff is
ridiculous. To be supportive is fine, helping them keep on the right
coarse and giving them the truth, to me is not wrong.No need for a
low blow in your message to me. If i was not compassionate and
caring, i sure as hell would not be in the medical profession, where
all i see is hurt, death and impossible dreams never to be filled.
Please do not make judgements because i called it like it is.They
asked for help, i see the clear road and have been through more crap
in my life. I just do not choose to sit around and whine about it. I
picked myself up and moved on.I have been raped, i have been through
divorce, i have raised kids myself, i have had no money i have lived
in a car for months, so there is not a whole hell of a lot i have not
done. I was out of school in the 8th grade yet i went on to get two
degrees.I mean please, if i could survive, so can
>  someone else. It is a weak mind that lets any human beat them
down. I just choose never, ever to be beaten. Please know the person
before you form the opionion that i am so heartless. It could not be
further from the truth. Oh... by the way, have a nice day. Sandy
>
> "Barb E." <hollysmomsc@y...> wrote:  Sandy...
> I thought this was a support group......and you wonder why you are
> having trouble making friends...???....
> no offense...just ......wow..show a bit of care ..
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> <butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
> >
> > My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you
work
> with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
> professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
> was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
> was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
> >
> > don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to
and
> cause of men's problems.
> >
> > So here's the coles notes on this one situation
> >
> > Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> > each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great
talks
> > (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd
help
> > her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her
advice
> > on life etc etc.
> >
> > There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
> passed.
> > One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time
hang
> > out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> > it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like
I
> > said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
> So
> > I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
> and
> > stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to
get
> > too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> > seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
> >
> > I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
> in
> > general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> > university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> > under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating
brought
> up
> > this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
> had
> > this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new
bit
> of
> > news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> > well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> > accordingly"
> >
> > What say all of youse :)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >   SPONSORED LINKS
> >         Article health wellness   Center for health and
wellness
> Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health
wellness
> product   Health and wellness job
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >
> >     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
> >
> >     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> >  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Sandy
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Photos
>  Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events,
holidays, whatever.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Well, if making friends means lying to someone, no i will never be quilty of
that one. I am a realist, all this wishy washy stuff is ridiculous. To be
supportive is fine, helping them keep on the right coarse and giving them the
truth, to me is not wrong.No need for a low blow in your message to me. If i was
not compassionate and caring, i sure as hell would not be in the medical
profession, where all i see is hurt, death and impossible dreams never to be
filled. Please do not make judgements because i called it like it is.They asked
for help, i see the clear road and have been through more crap in my life. I
just do not choose to sit around and whine about it. I picked myself up and
moved on.I have been raped, i have been through divorce, i have raised kids
myself, i have had no money i have lived in a car for months, so there is not a
whole hell of a lot i have not done. I was out of school in the 8th grade yet i
went on to get two degrees.I mean please, if i could survive, so can
  someone else. It is a weak mind that lets any human beat them down. I just
choose never, ever to be beaten. Please know the person before you form the
opionion that i am so heartless. It could not be further from the truth. Oh...
by the way, have a nice day. Sandy

"Barb E." <hollysmomsc@...> wrote:  Sandy...
I thought this was a support group......and you wonder why you are
having trouble making friends...???....
no offense...just ......wow..show a bit of care ..





--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin







<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work
with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
>
> don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and
cause of men's problems.
>
> So here's the coles notes on this one situation
>
> Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
> (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
> her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
> on life etc etc.
>
> There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
passed.
> One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
> out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
> said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
So
> I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
and
> stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
> too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
>
> I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
in
> general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought
up
> this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
had
> this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit
of
> news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> accordingly"
>
> What say all of youse :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness
Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness
product   Health and wellness job
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>









---------------------------------
   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS


     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


---------------------------------






Sandy

---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos
  Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays,
whatever.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ok in that case, was never anything more than a friend. If you want to call it
that. She was telling you she was not interested by the excuses, first clue
right there. Find another. Sandy

don_artale <don_artale@...> wrote:  We are both students so there's no
conflict.

Thanks for the advice



--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work
with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
>
> don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and
cause of men's problems.
>
> So here's the coles notes on this one situation
>
> Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
> (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
> her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
> on life etc etc.
>
> There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
passed.
> One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
> out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
> said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
So
> I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
and
> stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
> too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
>
> I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
in
> general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought
up
> this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
had
> this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit
of
> news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> accordingly"
>
> What say all of youse :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness
Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness
product   Health and wellness job
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>








   SPONSORED LINKS
         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness   Health and
wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness product   Health and
wellness job

---------------------------------
   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS


     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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---------------------------------






Sandy

---------------------------------
Yahoo! Photos
  Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays,
whatever.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandy...
I thought this was a support group......and you wonder why you are
having trouble making friends...???....
no offense...just ......wow..show a bit of care ..





--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin







<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work
with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
>
> don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and
cause of men's problems.
>
> So here's the coles notes on this one situation
>
> Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
> (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
> her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
> on life etc etc.
>
> There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
passed.
> One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
> out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
> said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
So
> I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
and
> stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
> too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
>
> I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
in
> general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought
up
> this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
had
> this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit
of
> news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> accordingly"
>
> What say all of youse :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness
Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness
product   Health and wellness job
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Hi Don,

   Just open your eyes and see that she's not really into you. Her excuses and
boyfriend is her polite way of letting you know she's o.k. and moved on. You
probably liked her and hoped that she would become serious with you but she
never gave you signs of hope so you backed off and dated some other women.

   It bothers you cause you just saw a the chance of a possible relationship with
someone you liked and put a lot of your precious time into torn to pieces by her
choosing another guy. I would suggest not to waste your time over that girl and
find a woman who is really in love with you, not making beleive. Good luck.

   Fio

don_artale <don_artale@...> wrote:
   Ah women, the solution to and cause of men's problems.

So here's the coles notes on this one situation

Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
(mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
on life etc etc.

There was a time when I considered her romantically but that passed.
One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.  So
I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked and
stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.

I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone in
general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought up
this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I had
this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit of
news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
accordingly"

What say all of youse :)











   SPONSORED LINKS
         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness   Health and
wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness product   Health and
wellness job

---------------------------------
   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS


     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.

     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


---------------------------------






---------------------------------
  Yahoo! DSL Something to write home about. Just $16.99/mo. or less

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

We are both students so there's no conflict.

Thanks for the advice



--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, sandy martin
<butwhipe18951@y...> wrote:
>
> My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work
with or even try to have a relationship with unless it is just
professional.If your a leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person
was not a student. You should be kicked out of the university if it
was.She gave you no hints to anything else, so move on. Sandy
>
> don_artale <don_artale@y...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and
cause of men's problems.
>
> So here's the coles notes on this one situation
>
> Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
> each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
> (mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
> her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
> on life etc etc.
>
> There was a time when I considered her romantically but that
passed.
> One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
> out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
> it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
> said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.
So
> I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked
and
> stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
> too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
> seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.
>
> I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone
in
> general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
> university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
> under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought
up
> this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I
had
> this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit
of
> news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
> well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
> accordingly"
>
> What say all of youse :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   SPONSORED LINKS
>         Article health wellness   Center for health and wellness
Health and wellness     Health and wellness program   Health wellness
product   Health and wellness job
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "achangewilldoyougood" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  achangewilldoyougood-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sandy
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

My advice is this in a nut shell. First, never date anyone you work with or even
try to have a relationship with unless it is just professional.If your a
leader/mentor, i certainly hope this person was not a student. You should be
kicked out of the university if it was.She gave you no hints to anything else,
so move on. Sandy

don_artale <don_artale@...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and cause of
men's problems.

So here's the coles notes on this one situation

Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
(mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
on life etc etc.

There was a time when I considered her romantically but that passed.
One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.  So
I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked and
stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.

I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone in
general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought up
this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I had
this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit of
news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
accordingly"

What say all of youse :)











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Sandy

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

You might think that the feelings u are having are feelings of being used but
from the sound of it, maybe you are disguising your true feelings. Maybe with
you helping her with so much and learning new things about her...you feel as if,
her dating another guy is a way of showing you that she feels like u don't want
her. Don't withdraw yourself from the relationship...that won't help. Try
talking to her. I know it might seem weird with her dating someone else but
maybe if you talk to her, you'll learn that she is doing it because she thinks
you don't want her and it's her way of trying to cope with that. Think long and
hard about it before talking to her and try and figure out if you would be
happier if she was with you...if she was still single...or if she stayed with
this new guy. Picture her kissing the new guy. See how it makes you feel.
Picture her kissing you...see how it makes you feel...and finally, picture her
with no one...see how that makes you feel.

don_artale <don_artale@...> wrote:  Ah women, the solution to and cause of
men's problems.

So here's the coles notes on this one situation

Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
(mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
on life etc etc.

There was a time when I considered her romantically but that passed.
One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.  So
I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked and
stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.

I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone in
general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought up
this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I had
this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit of
news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
accordingly"

What say all of youse :)











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---------------------------------
Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ah women, the solution to and cause of men's problems.

So here's the coles notes on this one situation

Met a girl back in August on a professional level, we got to know
each other a lot personally and got along well.  We had great talks
(mainly online because we were both busy during the day).  I'd help
her with school stuff(we're both in university) and give her advice
on life etc etc.

There was a time when I considered her romantically but that passed.
One of the main reasons was that she never seemed to have time hang
out.  There was always something else or she just didnt feel like
it.  She always said she wanted to hang out yadda yadda but like I
said, there was always a reason not to meet up for lunc etc etc.  So
I moved on, dated a couple other women etc etc.  We still talked and
stuff like before but I withdrew a little bit.  I tried not to get
too personal with things etc. The other day she tells me she is
seeing some guy and I have to admit it bothers me.

I dont feel jealous or hurt, I  just feel used.  I'll help anyone in
general, especially since i am in a leadership/mentor role at the
university.  I dont like the idea of trying to disguise business
under the guise of friendship.  I dont know why her dating brought up
this feeling.  Think my subconscious is telling me something?  I had
this used feeling before she told me of this dude but this new bit of
news actually makes me angry or hurt.  Before I was more like "ah
well, at least I know now and can adjust my relationship
accordingly"

What say all of youse :)

yes go to www.m2cglobal.com/chriscare       watch the
video and make your decision this is a growing company
and prosperous for all who get involved. thanks
chriscare

--- dancryc@... wrote:

> I just quit my job and i was wondering. I see
> advertisements all the time
> for work from home jobs. I know most are scams but
> some have to be real dont
> they? I was just wondering if anybody knew of a
> legit Job that you would be able
>  to do from home.
> Thank you.
> Dani
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
>
>





__________________________________
Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.
http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/

We are here! Sandy

coolio <rachel_labe@...> wrote:  hello everyone!

thank u for ur kind words. im trying my best to move on.now i feel that
it is not just me who have been through this, and yes, i shall do what
you all adviced. thank u really..i felt very touched reading your
mails..thank u thank u..the world isnt as cruel as i thought. please
continue to pray for me for strength. now i know i have a group to turn
to when am in the low phase..reading the bible is one thing i have
learned to do too.

and sandy u are rite! i better get a grip!

wishing everyone all the best!

warmly,
rachel







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Sandy

---------------------------------
Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello mr. alynawaz,

   your situation looks like a very serious one the way you put.
   maybe it is. i wonder have you try to find out what causes those feelings you
have.
   If not please do, deal with it the best way you can, because it seems you kind
off giving up. But there is always a way out, no matter how serious things get.
but you have to find out. because your not telling if something maybe terrible
happend to you. So find it out, deal with even when the out come is what you had
expected at least you delt with it and go on from there. Becuase every body is
capable off doing more than than you think. Even you can but to have to get your
acts together.
   wish you can find all the strenght you need, because in the end you have to
deal the problem and overcome it.

   All the best wishes for 2006 and hope you have a better live.
   fietal

alynawaznanjee <alynawaznanjee@...> wrote:
   Hello Every One I Am Alinawaz From bhavnagar Gujarat India
I Am Very Very Depressed I Dont know What to do I Am Very Sick and
Tired Of My Life I Am Afraid That i cant continue my life now its very
hard for me to survive my mind is full of negitive thoughts please
help me all you all are my last hope
Alinawaz







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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

And selective hearing can disapear quickly when the guy sees that it makes you
mad when he's not listening and you make him go through the consequences right
after. If women always let it pass or make beleive it's not important then
suffer silently, they'll always be the victims. It's called lack of respect and
you should not let him get away with it just to keep peace.

   Fio

snowy star <snowy_star_211@...> wrote:
   hi,
           Yb,most marriages do work this way,for a year may be two in best
conditions then the men nature takes the upper hand.selective hearing,ignoring
what they think to be no thing important.it is something in their physiological
functions.
   no matter how strong their wives try to change that,make them sharing every
idea they have,men are like this,so women got nothing after that but being
depressed and disappointed,but after they look around seeing that it is the rule
,all husbands are doing the same things,no difference between them at all.those
wives surrender to the present fact.
   so SITARA we are  sandy,snowy and kate are having the same opinion,which is
based on previous experiences or good careful observations.
   MEN ARE LIKE THAT, THEY DO HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING.

sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   Most marriages do work this way, but men do have selective hearing
haha...Sandy



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hello everyone!

thank u for ur kind words. im trying my best to move on.now i feel that
it is not just me who have been through this, and yes, i shall do what
you all adviced. thank u really..i felt very touched reading your
mails..thank u thank u..the world isnt as cruel as i thought. please
continue to pray for me for strength. now i know i have a group to turn
to when am in the low phase..reading the bible is one thing i have
learned to do too.

and sandy u are rite! i better get a grip!

wishing everyone all the best!

warmly,
rachel

Oké ladies especially snowy,

   have you ever tought about it: when you pint a vinger to someone there are 4
of them pionting at you??
   There could be men over there acting and behaving like you lady's says. Not
all of them. maybe you had the bad luck to fall in love like one of those.
   Still you have think about why the men get the selective hearing.
   f.e.
   a man goes to work and before he leaves, the woman says, call me.... so he
calls from the work, they a little and they hang up she says again call me....
so he calle again after a while. In the mean time some happens that makes tyhe
woman get aggitated. Who when the man calls again... the woman goes like... are
you checking on me.. calling me the whole day.... So the mans says you told me
to call.. and he gets the bla, bla bla....When the man is at home after work, no
words about her reaction because they just think bad timing ...The next morning
the man goes to work and she says again call me.... The man hears it and thinks
about the thing happened yesterday and walked out the door without saying yes or
no.. and she goes again like make sure you call me.. the man noticed she is
still aggitated, so waits calling her..so she calls him... why didn't you
call..... he goes you didn't like much yesterday.. and the fights begins...If he
comes home she tells him he doesn't care anymore
  about her that's why he didn't call.. the get into a guarel and the poor man
can sleep on the cauch`because she goes no sex tonight because she thinks the
only he can her is sex tonight...... So i put it a little black and white..
sometimes woman makes man behave like that.. hearing only what they wanna
hear....

   But you girls are right there are man who are selective in hearing and so do
women to... it's not only the men...

   So before you all get over me again..
   All the best wishes for 2006, and hope you all have a good listening man...

   I love this chatgroup, you can learn from each other
   and don't be so stubbern not all man are like that....

   Bye ladies


snowy star <snowy_star_211@...> wrote:
   hi,
           Yb,most marriages do work this way,for a year may be two in best
conditions then the men nature takes the upper hand.selective hearing,ignoring
what they think to be no thing important.it is something in their physiological
functions.
   no matter how strong their wives try to change that,make them sharing every
idea they have,men are like this,so women got nothing after that but being
depressed and disappointed,but after they look around seeing that it is the rule
,all husbands are doing the same things,no difference between them at all.those
wives surrender to the present fact.
   so SITARA we are  sandy,snowy and kate are having the same opinion,which is
based on previous experiences or good careful observations.
   MEN ARE LIKE THAT, THEY DO HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING.

sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   Most marriages do work this way, but men do have selective hearing
haha...Sandy

Si tara <fietal@...> wrote:  hello everybody,

   I just joined the group a few days ago.
   I find it very intresting one because here you can see the diiferent
perspective people has about something specific.
   So, about man , who hears only what he wants to here. i think it doesn't goes
for evry man and in the other hand it depends on the partner or the subject.
   it is scientificaly profed, they say that man can only do 1 thing at the time.
It is kind of generalising all the man.

   Me for instance i can do one thing and think about the somthing else without
losing control on what i\m working on f.e.
   Even woman can be selective i hearing or doing things.
   I would not like others to plan  or do things for all the time, because it
get's you lazy in the mind, because thinking is done by the other or planned for
you.
   Most of the thinks that once the have a wive, she will take care of
everything, because it has been that way for ages. So, Kate, once your married
don't try to arrange every thing for your man, you gonna make him lazy regarding
using the brain. Don't let him get the idea that you will do it so he doesn't
have to it byhimself.
   Discuss it, do things together, decide together about important things and
don't satisfy with "you can do it better, you do it". then you gonna have the
situation like selctive hearing etc. etc.  it goes both ways i think, becuase
women can be very selctive to you know. I wish you all the best in your
marriage.
   Try as much as possible to do things together especially when you have to
decide about important things regarding both of you.So when it goes wrong blame
yourselfs, because you can't say "i told you so" On the hand, women, don't get
every thing arranged for you to. Because you goona end up thinking and hearing
selective to like the man. As they at home it the womans world and outside the
mans world, why not mixed that two and treath the man and the woman with equal
rights.
   Good luck to you all.


snowy star <snowy_star_211@...> wrote:
   hi,
   first congratulation to you kate,i wish you a happy marriage.
   secondly merry christmas for you all.
   oke sandy you are totally right,men hear only what they want to hear,what
concern their own benfits.most of them are like that.i think it is some thing in
their brains,alwayes they select what they hear and concern about.
   it is seldome to find a man who take care of the detailes,and minors.they
often concern about major things,things related to them!!!!!!!!
   so,it is no use.men will never change.


sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   umm.... are you asking us if men ever listen? Ok here goes. They have
selective hearing. Mostly because men can not multitask. It is impossible for
most of them.Since your getting married, here are a few lesons.Men hear these
things, Sex tonight, football or any type of sports, and business.Outside of
this get ready to repeat yourselve ten times, leave notes, call his office, tell
his secretary etc. I wish you well in your up coming wedding.Sandy

katpurpel <katpurpel@...> wrote:  Ok now just about everyone here know's
i'm getting married right i
told my boss 6 month's ago i was leaving my job. Asked him for time
off from work to go out of the counrty for the wedding i even whent
so far as to leave him a note with my flight info on in for him to
do the scedule's around it was in his office since i got my
ticket's. He never bothered to read it. I told him 6 month's ago i
was getting married and not staying at this job after that. Now that
the time has come for me to do what i planed to do for month's is he
all surprised and oh you didn't tell me this before. I'm sorry but
how is it my fault he only hear's what he want's to. Are all men
like this or is it just me. Now i know it's not just him it happend
with my father once to whent car shopping bought a car and at the
time when we looked at it oh ya the car is good  it's clean  run's
good. then when thing's started to go bad on the car oh i told you
not to buy that car.... EXCUSE ME can anyone tell me what are men
thinking? I need to understand before the wedding Oh and by the way
if you were wondering the wedding is on the 18th of jan and we are
very happy and impatiently waiting

         kat








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This may sound odd but what I would suggest is that you look at the Burke's Law
Of Reality- People are emotionally affected by love or lack thereof,by sound,by
communication and by various forms of stimulation or stimuli. Your boyfriend was
affected by sexual stimulation and you were affected by loss of
love(respect).What is done is done so I would suggest you take care of yourself.
Take a glass of water and fill it to the level of love you now think you posess.
The empty portion will represent the void or lost love. Pour the water into a
smaller vessel that it will fill or overflow. This now represents the present
state! Some times in life it is necessary to learn to live with a less amount of
love. However you must also learn to leave the past behind you so that you can
continue to progress into the future.
--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, "coolio" <rachel_labe@y...> wrote:
>
> hello everyone,
>
> Hi. I dont know where to begin. I just know that I have been trying my
> best to fight the negative thoughts of revenge to my ex and my friend
> who cheated on me. I have been to a counselor 3x but now I can barely
> eat and do any work. ALl i know is sleeping and retreating in my room.
> Its already 2006 and God knows I want to get out of this situation.
>
> I feel like calling my ex and demanding to get the things I left in our
> shared apartment, like the jewelries which are kept in his room.
> However, calling him would probably make him think am still interested
> in him. What should I do? Where do I ever begin to heal myself? I want
> to get my self-worth back, having been immersed in a relationship for 4
> years to a man whom I laid everything on, only to be caught in the act
> of making love to another woman in our own apartment. The insult and
> hurt that I feel makes my self worth go down the drain, and I dont know
> where to pick up the pieces and regain myself again.
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

happy new year to you and all the menbers of this group.
   may you have a propurous and healthy year.

   fietal

ahou1016 <ahou1016@...> wrote:
   Wish you have a brilliant new year!!!





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hi Rachel,

           it  really hurts when you find out that you were cheated by your boy
friend,i had similar experience in my first love story,and i know how you feel
right now.
   but i can tell you that i am still here alive,going on through my life,looking
back to this memory and saying to my self i am still learning.i know i am lucky
cause i found out his true color es early which is after 4 and half years of
being in love with him!
   we have a song here an old song saying a good saying,it says FORGET WHO
FORGETS YOU,AND LOVE WHO LOVES YOU.
    so put in your consideration that you did not lose him,it is him who lost
you,
   and you are still here breathing still you have the chance to fall in love
again with some one who really loves you,and deserves your heart.
   leave the past behind you,forget him ,do not stop at one station,go on through
your life,cause he is going on through his.
   go out,work,have fun,do not waste in second in your life without gaining
something for yourself,or for those whom you love.
   it is not your fault,so do not feel negative feelings,and forget the revenge
cause it will hurt you because any one else.
   and believe me one day he will be cheated on by his girl friend cause this is
life,if you did someone wrong,some one will do you wrong.
   dear Rachel,go on through your life unless you will lose your self for nothing
at all.
   and for your jewelery you can ask a trusted friend of yours to go and bring
them back to you after you call him and tell him that.
   when you are talking with him talk like nothing happened at all,you are still
enjoying your life,make him feel like he worths nothing at all.
   and for your self go out do not close your self like that,get known to another
persons,go out to places you have never been to before,work hard,achieve your
goals in life,be more succsesful and brilliant.let this experience be an engine
that pushes you forwards.do not allow this to break you.
   Rachel,it is a new year,make it a new start for you.cause time never comes
back again.ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
   happy new year.

coolio <rachel_labe@...> wrote:
   hello everyone,

Hi. I dont know where to begin. I just know that I have been trying my
best to fight the negative thoughts of revenge to my ex and my friend
who cheated on me. I have been to a counselor 3x but now I can barely
eat and do any work. ALl i know is sleeping and retreating in my room.
Its already 2006 and God knows I want to get out of this situation.

I feel like calling my ex and demanding to get the things I left in our
shared apartment, like the jewelries which are kept in his room.
However, calling him would probably make him think am still interested
in him. What should I do? Where do I ever begin to heal myself? I want
to get my self-worth back, having been immersed in a relationship for 4
years to a man whom I laid everything on, only to be caught in the act
of making love to another woman in our own apartment. The insult and
hurt that I feel makes my self worth go down the drain, and I dont know
where to pick up the pieces and regain myself again.







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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

OK, first of all get a gripe. If he has stuff of yours get it. Have you ever
heard the thoughts of" there are manay more fish in the sea". Look at it this
way you could have been married twenty something years and a few kids, and then
have no where to go".I am a realaist. I did not die, you will not die. Pull your
ass up by the straps and build a bridge and get over it. I have never, ever, in
my life thought i was going to die, commit suicide, whatever, because life did
not work out for me. Beleive me it has gone more wrong than right. But, i will
nevr allow a human being to occupy that much room in my mind. You gotta be
kidding.Now start building that bridge since i am a heartless so and so.  just
gave you the incentive to get on with it, your pissed. Now look at how silly you
seem writing these things. Contrair, i care, but i tell it like it is. No human
is worth this much thought. Sandy

coolio <rachel_labe@...> wrote:  hello everyone,

Hi. I dont know where to begin. I just know that I have been trying my
best to fight the negative thoughts of revenge to my ex and my friend
who cheated on me. I have been to a counselor 3x but now I can barely
eat and do any work. ALl i know is sleeping and retreating in my room.
Its already 2006 and God knows I want to get out of this situation.

I feel like calling my ex and demanding to get the things I left in our
shared apartment, like the jewelries which are kept in his room.
However, calling him would probably make him think am still interested
in him. What should I do? Where do I ever begin to heal myself? I want
to get my self-worth back, having been immersed in a relationship for 4
years to a man whom I laid everything on, only to be caught in the act
of making love to another woman in our own apartment. The insult and
hurt that I feel makes my self worth go down the drain, and I dont know
where to pick up the pieces and regain myself again.







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---------------------------------






Sandy

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hi,
           Yb,most marriages do work this way,for a year may be two in best
conditions then the men nature takes the upper hand.selective hearing,ignoring
what they think to be no thing important.it is something in their physiological
functions.
   no matter how strong their wives try to change that,make them sharing every
idea they have,men are like this,so women got nothing after that but being
depressed and disappointed,but after they look around seeing that it is the rule
,all husbands are doing the same things,no difference between them at all.those
wives surrender to the present fact.
   so SITARA we are  sandy,snowy and kate are having the same opinion,which is
based on previous experiences or good careful observations.
   MEN ARE LIKE THAT, THEY DO HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING.

sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   Most marriages do work this way, but men do have selective hearing
haha...Sandy

Si tara <fietal@...> wrote:  hello everybody,

   I just joined the group a few days ago.
   I find it very intresting one because here you can see the diiferent
perspective people has about something specific.
   So, about man , who hears only what he wants to here. i think it doesn't goes
for evry man and in the other hand it depends on the partner or the subject.
   it is scientificaly profed, they say that man can only do 1 thing at the time.
It is kind of generalising all the man.

   Me for instance i can do one thing and think about the somthing else without
losing control on what i\m working on f.e.
   Even woman can be selective i hearing or doing things.
   I would not like others to plan  or do things for all the time, because it
get's you lazy in the mind, because thinking is done by the other or planned for
you.
   Most of the thinks that once the have a wive, she will take care of
everything, because it has been that way for ages. So, Kate, once your married
don't try to arrange every thing for your man, you gonna make him lazy regarding
using the brain. Don't let him get the idea that you will do it so he doesn't
have to it byhimself.
   Discuss it, do things together, decide together about important things and
don't satisfy with "you can do it better, you do it". then you gonna have the
situation like selctive hearing etc. etc.  it goes both ways i think, becuase
women can be very selctive to you know. I wish you all the best in your
marriage.
   Try as much as possible to do things together especially when you have to
decide about important things regarding both of you.So when it goes wrong blame
yourselfs, because you can't say "i told you so" On the hand, women, don't get
every thing arranged for you to. Because you goona end up thinking and hearing
selective to like the man. As they at home it the womans world and outside the
mans world, why not mixed that two and treath the man and the woman with equal
rights.
   Good luck to you all.


snowy star <snowy_star_211@...> wrote:
   hi,
   first congratulation to you kate,i wish you a happy marriage.
   secondly merry christmas for you all.
   oke sandy you are totally right,men hear only what they want to hear,what
concern their own benfits.most of them are like that.i think it is some thing in
their brains,alwayes they select what they hear and concern about.
   it is seldome to find a man who take care of the detailes,and minors.they
often concern about major things,things related to them!!!!!!!!
   so,it is no use.men will never change.


sandy martin <butwhipe18951@...> wrote:
   umm.... are you asking us if men ever listen? Ok here goes. They have
selective hearing. Mostly because men can not multitask. It is impossible for
most of them.Since your getting married, here are a few lesons.Men hear these
things, Sex tonight, football or any type of sports, and business.Outside of
this get ready to repeat yourselve ten times, leave notes, call his office, tell
his secretary etc. I wish you well in your up coming wedding.Sandy

katpurpel <katpurpel@...> wrote:  Ok now just about everyone here know's
i'm getting married right i
told my boss 6 month's ago i was leaving my job. Asked him for time
off from work to go out of the counrty for the wedding i even whent
so far as to leave him a note with my flight info on in for him to
do the scedule's around it was in his office since i got my
ticket's. He never bothered to read it. I told him 6 month's ago i
was getting married and not staying at this job after that. Now that
the time has come for me to do what i planed to do for month's is he
all surprised and oh you didn't tell me this before. I'm sorry but
how is it my fault he only hear's what he want's to. Are all men
like this or is it just me. Now i know it's not just him it happend
with my father once to whent car shopping bought a car and at the
time when we looked at it oh ya the car is good  it's clean  run's
good. then when thing's started to go bad on the car oh i told you
not to buy that car.... EXCUSE ME can anyone tell me what are men
thinking? I need to understand before the wedding Oh and by the way
if you were wondering the wedding is on the 18th of jan and we are
very happy and impatiently waiting

         kat








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Oh Rachel,

Let me start out by saying first I am so sorry for what you are going
through.  Yes, something like this sounds like it would be very
painful but I will go on to say you need to give this time.  In the
long run you will realize if someone can do this to you, he was not
worth it.  I know it hurts when you have lived for 4 years as him
being the center of your world probably but we all must be strong.
Please again understand we all can probably understand your pain.
Please give yourself time and I believe with time you will be able to
handle this better.  You can get your self worth back.  I have been
in worse shoes I think and I feel I have done it.

Start reading some spiritual and guidance material.  I always found
this helpful.

Good luck to you.. and with time I believe you will gain strength to
overcome this.  He seriously is not worth you getting upset
about...

Dianne

--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, "coolio"
<rachel_labe@y...> wrote:
>
> hello everyone,
>
> Hi. I dont know where to begin. I just know that I have been trying
my
> best to fight the negative thoughts of revenge to my ex and my
friend
> who cheated on me. I have been to a counselor 3x but now I can
barely
> eat and do any work. ALl i know is sleeping and retreating in my
room.
> Its already 2006 and God knows I want to get out of this situation.
>
> I feel like calling my ex and demanding to get the things I left in
our
> shared apartment, like the jewelries which are kept in his room.
> However, calling him would probably make him think am still
interested
> in him. What should I do? Where do I ever begin to heal myself? I
want
> to get my self-worth back, having been immersed in a relationship
for 4
> years to a man whom I laid everything on, only to be caught in the
act
> of making love to another woman in our own apartment. The insult
and
> hurt that I feel makes my self worth go down the drain, and I dont
know
> where to pick up the pieces and regain myself again.
>

hi alynawaz
              i wanna tell you sthg that i alwayes believed in,grand mum used to
say it to my mum,the more it gets darker the sooner the sun rises.
   so,donot lose hope in life,and donot let it loses you,
   do not feel tired of life,cause you only see the ugly face of life,but still
it has abeautiful face that you can not see clearly,look around you,donot think
what you have lost,alwayes think about what you have got.
   tell you sthg,in my worest times that i have passed every time i see that i
donot need to live this life,but an idea alwayes kept me away from this,when i
fall down i think what is this,the life events have no brain,no will;but i
have!how could i allow it to beat me,i will not surrender,still i can mange
things,still i can face those things;even if i am so weak,but i keep saying that
to my self,till i believe in that,and stand allover again.
   Dear alynawaz,you are still have the power to change this.
   Have you ever watched an ant for along time,i used to do this watching those
small creatures for hours,they are amazing my friend ;they never lose hope;you
can see one ant trying to carry a very huge food particle which is 50 times her
size,by her own,walking along a wall exceeded 4.5 meters hight against
gravity,she alwayes succed,after 1000000 trials,but in the end she succed.
   donot lose hope,donot lose your self,you can do that.

                                                               snowy

alynawaznjee <alynawaznanjee@...> wrote:
   Hello Every One I Am Alinawaz From bhavnagar Gujarat India
I Am Very Very Depressed I Dont know What to do I Am Very Sick and
Tired Of My Life I Am Afraid That i cant continue my life now its very
hard for me to survive my mind is full of negitive thoughts please
help me all you all are my last hope
Alinawaz







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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hello everyone,

Hi. I dont know where to begin. I just know that I have been trying my
best to fight the negative thoughts of revenge to my ex and my friend
who cheated on me. I have been to a counselor 3x but now I can barely
eat and do any work. ALl i know is sleeping and retreating in my room.
Its already 2006 and God knows I want to get out of this situation.

I feel like calling my ex and demanding to get the things I left in our
shared apartment, like the jewelries which are kept in his room.
However, calling him would probably make him think am still interested
in him. What should I do? Where do I ever begin to heal myself? I want
to get my self-worth back, having been immersed in a relationship for 4
years to a man whom I laid everything on, only to be caught in the act
of making love to another woman in our own apartment. The insult and
hurt that I feel makes my self worth go down the drain, and I dont know
where to pick up the pieces and regain myself again.

Folks,
  Wishing you all a great year ahead. May all your dreams come true.

Amit


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Years back I came to the cross road in my journey of life where I was no longer
happy. I traced my steps back on major events and arrived at an age of fourteen.
This would be the year nineteen fifty nine. It was the end of constant happiness
and the beginning of a turbulent adolescence. This situation continued on until
my late thirties. After much reading and thinking I wrote, Happiness is a state
of mind and is usually associated with progress and gain. Sadness is also a
state of mind and is associated with loss and deterioration.  This self found
knowledge gave me a direction twards self contentment. To-day I have learned to
appreciate the little gains in my life even if it's just a chocolate bar in my
lunch bucket.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]