The Movie Encyclopedia
(author unknown)

There are some things in life that you would never know if it
weren't for Hollywood.

A great movie – "The Family Man"
Every married man with kids should see this.

Without the movies you wouldn't know this:

** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.

** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.

** If being chased through town, you can usually take cover
in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach
up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level
on the man lying beside her.

** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French
Bread.

** It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.

** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in
there and you can travel to any other part of the building
undetected.

** Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
their polar opposite.

** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going
to go off.

** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have
more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any
before now.

** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war
unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture
of your sweetheart back home.

** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer,
it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German
accent will do.

** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster
or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
wounds.

** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It
will always be the exact fare.

** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a
kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that
light instead.